Title: The True Tale of Anakin's Scar (AKA, "Asajj Ventress!")
Author: TheMacUnleashed
Rating: G/K
Summary: Anakin tells the tale of his battle against Asajj Ventress. There is dancing and music.
Notes: Written for the 2011 Dare Challenge; my dare was quite lengthy, so I've posted it at the end. I apologize in advance: I'm not a big moviegoer, so alas, I am not too familiar with Bollywood...



?Padmé! There?s someone here to see you!?

Padmé spun around, a hand clutched to her bosom as her hair fluttered out around her, caught like a sea of brown butterflies swimming through the breeze on Naboo. ?Me, Ellé, Moteé? I, Dormé? Who could want to visit me here, in my own private lake house??

?I would.? Anakin Skywalker stepped from behind her closest friend, who also happened to be her maid. ?If you would like to be visited???

?Anakin! Of course I?d like to be visited by you!? She ran to embrace him, but stopped just short as she noticed, to her shock, that something had marred his innocent, angelic face: a violent, not-quite-scarred-over burn ran over his cerulean eye, giving him a dark, fierce look. Horrified, she demanded to know, ?What happened to you? Who did this?? She knew that his hand had been cut off, of course ?that was hard to miss?but she had thought him far too vain to even consider letting a lightsaber near what she, and he, perceived as his shockingly beautiful face.

She reached up and carefully pressed a pale, trembling hand to him, tracing it over the mark that crossed from his eyebrow to his cheekbone. Of course, there was little that could cause the dashing Jedi to look truly unattractive ?really, over time it would probably only accent his finely sculpted cranium?but it terrified her to imagine that someone or something could get close enough to leave such a mark. Since the hand incident, she though he?d gotten rather better at dueling.

Anakin stepped back and clutched her fingers with his mechanical ones.

?Let me tell you the noble tale,
of my heroic deeds that I fought to much avail,
For the price of a scar,
I battled on a planet quite far,
The evil Temptress,
The one, the only ?Asajj Ventress!?

Padmé?s handmaidens gasped in unison. ?Asajj Ventress??

?Yes!? Anakin drew his saber, and held it poised, unpowered.

?In a city late one night
I wasn't look for a fight
Or a bald, old sorceress
But I found one in-"

"-Asajj Ventress!" cried Dormé, Sabé, and Moteé. In unison, they pulled off the shapeless, cream-colored robes that had been covering them to reveal sparkly, fringed numbers beneath. They pulled the ties off of their hair and let the three sets of brown locks flow with passion down their backs. Padmé, caught in the heat of the moment, swept her own overcoat off to reveal the simple white robe she had draped on beneath. It was much more suitable for the warm weather anyway. It was the warm season of Naboo, when flowers could be mistaken for cheap costume jewelry as they dotted the landscape; when trees sprouted forth leaves of an obscenely bright shade of green.

Anakin spun around and dashed down the hall to the open door, Padmé gracefully following on his trail. Her handmaidens leapt along behind her, their steps longer than gazelle?s.


Anakin drew his lightsaber and began to dance about the shore of the lake, feigning strikes at imaginary foes. Padmé ducked and leaped at appropriate moments, moving in time with Anakin.

"And when I heard of her plot,
I drew my saber and we fought.
And it was long and dark and hard,
As with strikes I did bombard,
The horror-film holo-film actress-"


"Asajj Ventress!"


Anakin dove into the sparkling water that stretched out from the tree-lined horizon. Padmé dashed after him, her long white dress trailing in her wake.


"O'er the rooftops we ran with haste
There was not a second to waste
We had to parry, thrust--thrust--thrust!"

He stabbed his lightsaber forwards as he spoke, punctuating the last three words.

"I made it clear, my great disgust,
At her Sithly, evil ways,
And the price she'd have to pay!
So co>

 

That was fantastic.

 

I second that!

 

That was awesome!

 

great response

 

This was amazing.

Wow.

 

Wow! This was amusing and melodramatic at the same time. I love how the handmaidens were dancing with him, adding that extra detail. I've never heard of Bollywood, but the dare at the bottom explained it a bit.
Wonderful job on a difficult dare!

 

I hate to jump on the laugh train but...



Fantastic!!

You did such a fabulous job with this crazy, nutso dare! Wow... Never having seen Boolywood, or really having heard of the genre (yes, I live in a cave) I have to say that this was fantastically random - and yet oh so appropriate lol!

Superb!

Excellent job

 

JediMara77: Thank you!

MiralukaJedi: Glad you enjoyed it.

FelsGoddess: Thanks for commenting!

earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks!

Luna_Nightshade: That's very kind; thanks so much!

Cade_Cryocharger: Thank you! This definitely was difficult to write, so I'm glad you thought it turned out well.

Briannakin: I'm heartened to hear that! As I said, I'm very unfamiliar with Bollywood myself -your one movie is probably more than I've seen.

Jade_Max: Oh, I don't mind the "laugh train" at all; I find it rather flattering. Thank you for reviewing!

 

That was brilliant!

Just picturing the elaborate song and dance had me holding my sides.


Fabulous response to the challenge

 

You know, Anakin should have realized there is "No life without wife!" I'm sorry, "My mother can be a little grub." Kateydidnt adds that "Not a bad sumup of Bollywood. Oddly enough, most of this does seem to have come out of Bollywood in general. It made me snicker a lot. (And if anyone is confused, No life without wife is from Bride and Prejudice and "My mother cna be a little grub" is how they caption "My mother can be a little abrupt" from the same movie.)

 

Awesome!

 

First, sorry. Second, thank you!

It makes me giddy to see my dare realized in fiction, especially after what you did with it. The sap of it all was unbearably amazing. For not ever having seen Bollywood before, you did an amazing job capturing the over-acted-ness of it in prose. Fanfasticaly well-done!

 

KELIA: Thank you! I'm gladdened to hear that it made you laugh.

DarthIshtar: "No life without wife!" does sum up Anakin very well. Thanks for commenting!

mavjade: Thanks!

VaderLVR64: Thank you for reviewing!

SoA: So it was YOU who tasked me to write this!

No, really --this was an awesome dare, and it got me writing again. Thanks for submitting it, and thank you for the kind words!

 

What a fantastic response! It really demands a fan film, though the prose is fantastically cheezy and melodramatic. Well done with this crazy, crazy challenge!