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Before - Legends The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) note from the author 4/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by maychorian, Jun 2, 2005.

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  1. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Very sorry to hear of your loss :(




    And it was more than a physical weariness . . . this weariness seemed to seep into the boy?s bones, laying hold to spiritual and emotional depths that it had no right to touch. It emanated from the boy in turgid waves, an utter despair that Qui-Gon shuddered at.

    Wonderful line! Another chapter beautifully done. I live the premise you're settin up :)


    And you are much too sweet :) Thanks for your kind words and for your recent offer. It is very much appreciated ;) And I would love to take you up on it!

    --shan
     
  2. sheleigh

    sheleigh Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 31, 2002
    I am very sorry to hear of your loss... :(


    Well, May, what more is there to say but another superb chapter? Wow.

    Obi-Wan's anguish is very well done. (I was wondering when he was going to show up.) Ahh... Qui-Gon heard his thoughts... one is to assume the bond has already started to form?

    It will be interesting to see how two incredibly powerful Force users- neither of them fully trained- will reacte to that particular development... if indeed that is whats happening.

    I have to admit, I am relieved that the Qui-Gon of your story is drawn to Obi-Wan immediately, instead of fighting the connection as it happened in the Jude Watson books.

    Beautiful! Snaps for the author. :D

    sheleigh
     
  3. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Sorry to hear about your great-grandfather. :(

    I'm glad you're writing another story! It's off to a marvelous and intriguing start. Can't wait for more!
     
  4. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    I'm sorry, may. My thoughts are with you.


    Another engrossing chapter. Your writing is so distinctive, professional and emotional, you've kept Qui-Gon in character, despite the obvious contrasts in the universe you've created from that of canon. And I love your description of poor Obi-Wan. Beautiful, as always.
     
  5. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    First, I am so sorry for your loss.

    And now I must tell you how delightful this story is! =D=

    I can't wait to read more. [face_love] Qui and Obi!
     
  6. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Ohhhh, that was wonderful. I loved that Xanatos was a Knight and had almost turned and was now too afraid to take Obi on as an apprentice - a skewed play on the original. And Qui-Gon felt something with young Obi-Wan, something he didn't know what to do about. Great job with this. Just loving it.

    Sorry to hear of your loss, May.
     
  7. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    Xan and Obi were perfect! I loved the way Obi's frustration grew, and wanted to tear Xan apart when he was talking about knighthood not being his calling. Grrr....

    Great writing, as usual. :)

    Sorry about your loss may. [:D] Here's hoping things go well.
     
  8. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I am sorry to hear about your loss [:D]

    This is really an interesting au. I can't wait until the 13th
     
  9. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Sorry to hear about your loss. [:D]

    Was just able to get started on this. I like it.

    Those eyes ought to be always shining with life and vigor, brilliant, lit from within. They are not meant to sit so dully there, as if they have no purpose but as holes to let in the sights of the world. The boy?s soul should be looking out of them, eager to see and experience life. Something has gone awry for this lad.

    This was beautiful insight and made me ache. Please say Qui will be able to save him from misery.
     
  10. snowbee-wan kenobi

    snowbee-wan kenobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2000
    Wow! very intuiging so far! Can't wait for more! Love the way you wrote the playful banter between Qui-Gon and his wife!
     
  11. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Ch. 1 - That opening was wonderful. Love how Qui-Gon willed the moment to last and how his wife very quickly seemed to read his mind. They're expecting?? Sweet!! :D :D I like the idea he pays heed to his 'feelings' and that Julune does as well. Oooh, who are the Jedi that've landed... is it???

    Ch. 2 - It is the two of them, though not Master and Padawan. Ah, so Dooku trained Qui-Gon a bit.. I lke that... and how Knight Xanatos explains he sees too much of himself in the boy. Big papa... perfect nickname for him!

    maychorian, my condolences for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  12. DarthEwan

    DarthEwan Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2005
    Sorry to hear about your great grandpa.
    Great story so far. =D= i've never read anything like it before. ;)
    I was right about who the two jedi in the shuttle were. [face_dancing]
    Xani is so mean. :mad: Poor obi :_| hopefully qui will make it all better. [-o|
    can't wait to read more.:)
     
  13. River_Stone

    River_Stone Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 7, 2005
    I'm sorry to hear about your great grand-father. All of us are here for you, if you need us. [:D]

    As for the story: wow! I can't get it out of my head. I find myself sitting at work thinking, "I wonder how she's going to do this bit?"

    I like the twisted symmetry of canon with Xanatos facing the same trauma of Qui-Gon in the originals. Did Dooku train him, I wonder?

    If my boss asks you're to blame for my lack of productivity. Just thought I would let you know in case they come after you with staplers ;)

    (Random thought: Are you a counsellor? I didn't know that. That must be very rewarding and would explain your deep and sensitive empathy towards human emotions which you display so wonderfully in your writing.)
     
  14. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :( [:D]

    I'm glad I found this. Very different and interesting ideas! Find it hard to think of Qui not as a Jedi, but this is a believable alternative. Of course he would be like a farmer with his connection to the Living force :) And I like his family. Nice twist with Xanatos and Obi.

    Can't wait to see what happens next!
     
  15. Musing

    Musing Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2003
    My condolences on your loss, maychorian. Also, congratulations on another lovely chapter.

    It's not nice to gloat, I know, but I can't help but think that Xanatos is getting what he deserves by suffering all the uncertainty and anguish that Qui-Gon felt at that point in time. [face_devil]

    Will there be a new addition to the Jinn family much sooner than expected? Have to wait and see, I guess. *sighs*
     
  16. kateydidnt

    kateydidnt Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 11, 2004
    I hope you are doing okay Laura, I know that loss is always hard. [:D] My thoughts are with you and your family.

    On the other side of things, this is a fantastic plot idea. Although I too find it hard to picture Qui-Gon as anything but a Jedi. He's just so good at it! Ah, poor Obi--you'll find a master if I don't miss my guess, just rather unconventionally. :)

    So when/how did Dooku decide to give a little training to Qui-Gon? I look forward to more!

    Goodness you turn out stories quickly my friend! I need to check back with you more often. Seems whenever I turn around you have another amazing piece started.
     
  17. JEDI-KNIGHTS_R_L

    JEDI-KNIGHTS_R_L Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 21, 2004
    What an interesting take. This is a great stroy and i hope that you will continue it? I'm looking forward to the next post.




     
  18. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Thanks for the condolences! It wasn't really a sad time, though, because my great-grandpa really was very ready to go, and we know where he is. He's been sad ever since his wife died in '98, and I know he's happy now.

    You'll be happy to know that this story is written up through chapter 7 already, so you can expect regular updates for some time yet (I was productive while away from the internet.) I'm glad to be home! Missed you! [:D]

    Next post ETA: Tuesday or Wednesday

    Master mine Looooooooved the reading together bit! That's so sweet! Those two are so wuvable together!

    :D Oh, good! I think they're cute, too.

    Shaindl Xanatos needs to be smacked for what he's doing to him.

    Yeah, saying "it isn't you, really" never quite cuts it, does it?

    shanobi And I would love to take you up on it!

    Excellent! :D I look forward to hearing from you again.

    sheleigh I have to admit, I am relieved that the Qui-Gon of your story is drawn to Obi-Wan immediately, instead of fighting the connection as it happened in the Jude Watson books.

    :) Thanks. My Qui-Gon here is a little different tahn canon, though I'm trying to keep him in character. Without the betrayal of Xanatos and the hard life of a Jedi, I think he's a lot more open with his feelings--rather wears them on his sleeve, actually. And he feels no need to hold back, to be a calm and staid Jedi. It's fun to write him like this.

    Bastet

    Thanks!

    LuvEwan

    [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush] Thanks! :)

    VaderLVR64 I can't wait to read more. Qui and Obi!

    ::bounces:: Aren't they wonderful? Sometimes I'll just be randomly thinking about different stories I'm reading, and I'll wonder, "Hmm, what's going to be in the next chapter in that one story? I can't wait to read it!" And then I realize that I'm writing that one. It keeps me motivated. I want to know what happens next!

    dianethx I loved that Xanatos was a Knight and had almost turned and was now too afraid to take Obi on as an apprentice - a skewed play on the original.

    Hehehe. [face_devil] I like skewing canon.

    Princess_Arulmozhi I loved the way Obi's frustration grew, and wanted to tear Xan apart when he was talking about knighthood not being his calling.

    Xanatos is such an idiot. But hopefully he makes sense, too. :)

    PadawanKitara I can't wait until the 13th

    I'm early! Aren't you proud? Neither torrential rain nor torrid humidity nor motion sickness will keep me from completing my journey . . .

    Master_Noi Please say Qui will be able to save him from misery.

    Someday. Maybe. If all goes well. :D

    snowbee-wan kenobi Love the way you wrote the playful banter between Qui-Gon and his wife!

    Thanks! That was fun to write.

    Healer_Leona Big papa... perfect nickname for him!

    Everybody wants a Qui-papa! Well, everyone I write. :D

    DarthEwan i've never read anything like it before.

    AUs are fun! Thanks for reading!

    River_Stone (Random thought: Are you a counsellor? I didn't know that. That must be very rewarding and would explain your deep and sensitive empathy towards human emotions which you display so wonderfully in your writing.)

    I was counselor at a junior high girls' camp this last weekend, but that's not my profession, no. I'm still a student. I did consider counseling as a career though. In the end my desire to write was stronger, but if I had the opportunity I would major in counseling, too. Thanks for the compliments! Much of my empathy comes from personality, I suppose, and also because I have been through things in my life that make me sensitive to human suffering and eager to help in any way I can.

    Jedi_Tigris Find it hard to think of Qui not as a Jedi, but this is a believable alternative.

    I know, I know! ::groan:: It's so weird. Fun, though.

    [b
     
  19. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Chapter 3: Communion

    Now, when Qui-Gon made his visits to the Enrichment Zones, communing with the Living Force was not his only reason. He did not fully acknowledge his other purpose, newborn and not yet grown to maturity, but it was there. His senses were always wide open, not only to the streams of the Force from healthy vegetation, rich soil, and clean air as before, but also keeping a corner of his perception open for a certain . . . something.

    It would have been simpler just to speak with Heim Shilbey and ask for a meeting with the newest Agri-Corps recruit, but somehow Qui-Gon couldn?t bring himself to do that. It just sounded . . . odd, for a grown man to want to see a young boy. A bit suspicious. He had no good reasons to offer for this strange request, either?he couldn?t exactly tell them that he was a half-trained Force-sensitive who thought he might be developing an unsanctioned connection with a stranger he?d never even spoken to.

    And the Force seemed to advise him not to speak to Shilbey, to wait. Qui-Gon was good at waiting, though as the days passed without contact, he did begin to wonder.

    Eight days after the shuttle from the Jedi Temple landed, Qui-Gon was able to visit the largest Enrichment Zone, the one in the south. The Agri-Corps workers knew him, greeting him cheerfully in the ways of their various species, often with a ?May the Force be with you, good sir!? He had a friendly smile and wave for all. One of the younger ones, Nira, walked with him for a time, gossiping about the mining on Bandomeer, the negotiations between different factions.

    ?They?re talking about this one mining corporation, Offworld or something like that,? the young woman chattered, lengthening her stride to keep up with his long legs. ?It used to be a lot bigger, but about three years ago it had some trouble. I think the owner died and didn?t have an heir, something like that. Just recently they started shutting down some of their operations here, like that deep-sea platform. Apparently it just wasn?t making enough money.?

    ?They?ve found traces of ionite at the Home Planet Mine,? Qui-Gon said, willing to gossip back. He considered asking her if there were any newcomers to this zone, but it didn?t seem like the right time. ?I like what I?ve heard of the way they do business, very fair to their workers, unlike some corps. There?s also been an influx of Arconan immigrants, lately, which seems to bode well. They are very industrious and good-hearted. Perhaps things are looking up for Bandomeer.?

    Nira nodded. ?We sure hope so. It?s about time. Well, I?d best get back to my seedlings. Nice seeing you, Mr. Jinn?don?t be a stranger! Been too long since you stopped by this zone.?

    He chuckled, and she rushed off, one arm aloft in a hasty wave. Qui-Gon continued toward the back wall, delighting in the feel of good, healthy mud squishing beneath his feet, fruit trees in ordered rows perfuming the air about him. He paused for a moment to take off his boots and continued barefoot, closing his eyes to soak in all of the Living Force he could gather, his deep connection to everything about him preventing any stumbles or wavering from his destination.

    At the wall, he settled down into a cross-legged position, closing his eyes and stretching out with his senses. One of the Jedi skills Knight Dooku had stressed most with him was meditation, for it had the greatest potential of helping untrained Force-sensitives grow more attuned to their powers?and what ought to be done with them. Qui-Gon had quickly found that he enjoyed it, becoming more aware both of himself and of everything around him. Certainly with guidance he would have been able to do much more in these times, but he had discovered quite a lot on his own, too.

    Sometimes he tried to direct this spiritual wandering, but he usually found that to be less fruitful than when he simply opened himself to what the Force had to show him. Today he did the latter, reducing himself to a mere wisp, willing to be manipulated by the currents and winds. And today the
     
  20. ithesock

    ithesock Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Welcome back. :) I hope everything went well.

    Ooh, an update! <gobbles post>

    Well, that was certainly a twist in the tale - they have a Force connection already?! And Obi-Wan's hurt, depressed and confused...oh the poor one. And he's missing! :( Hopefully, Qui will help. Soon.

    Great work, m'dear. :)
     
  21. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Yay, you posted early!

    Ooh, so they already have a bond? Interesting! Maybe that'll help Qui find Obi. I really liked the description if Qui meditating. It's cool how he listens to it too. :)
     
  22. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I love this story. Have I told you that recently? If not, I really do. The way you describe things, the way the story is flowing, it's just so lovely and right. Poor Obi-Wan, he must be terribly confused. And poor Qui-Gon trying to find out what the thread was and what to do about it. The thing is that Obi-Wan wants to be a Padawan and a Jedi Knight and Qui-Gon cannot give him that. But they both have things to teach the other. I'm very much looking forward to that.
     
  23. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    I just love how you show the Force bringing them together. But, they are both so confused and now Obi-Wan has run away. More soon please!
     
  24. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    [:D] Welcome back Padawan! Missed chatting with you! Hope all went well?

    Oh lovely job there on their connection growing. Wonderful work! Those poor two :( Not knowing what exactly is going on... hopefully Qui can find Obi! The boy could get seriously injured if he isn't careful.

    Glad to see ya back and in action again! :D
     
  25. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    You have a beautiful writing style Laura :) One sentence just flows perfectly into the next.

    Very interesting first meeting. Obi sure is a little jittery - and quite obviously is heartbreakingly miserable :(

    This post WAS well worth the wait. Can't wait to see what you have in store for us :D

    --shan

    p.s. Glad your trip went well. The sorrow of losing a loved one is always made better when in your heart you know they've gone to a better place :)
     
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