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Before - Legends The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) note from the author 4/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by maychorian, Jun 2, 2005.

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  1. ithesock

    ithesock Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 12, 2005
    Loved Julune in this. She's the perfect match for the maverick - Jedi or not. She just took charge - which was what was needed. Poor Obi-Wan who's so wasted away - who has been poking him??? I would like to tear them apart. Grr...:mad:

    Nice work, may. [face_love]
     
  2. Seven

    Seven Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2000
    Wonderful!

    Please more soon?

    Thanks!

    Seven
     
  3. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Woooohoooo!! I was hoping for an update before I went to bed, a perfect way to end the day!
    Poor Obi-Wan! Not thinking that anyone cares for him, how sad! :( He should meet his fanclub. ;) I like how Julune said it didn't take Obi long to make a claim on her, you'd have to have a heart of stone for him not too. If Obi really can't be a Jedi now, I think the Jinns should adopt him.
    Lovely post! [face_love]
     
  4. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004


    ohh so sweet
    Who could have done that to our Obi-wan.
    Kidnapped by who?
    Look after him Qui-Gon!![face_love]
     
  5. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2005
    That was beautiful! I love the relationship between Qui-Gon and Julune, they're so well matched. Poor Obi-Wan, being confused because someone cares for him? What has he been through all these years? I wonder why and who took Obi-Wan and hurt him, since Qui brought up those questions? Great post! :)
     
  6. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I adore those two. So well matched, loving and warm. Now, Obi-Wan is there and he has been hurt - by whom, I wonder. The Agri-corps, someone stealing Force sensitives, slavers? I am sure all will be revealed in time but this is such a lovely story. Very much looking forward to more!
     
  7. Qui-Gina-Jinn

    Qui-Gina-Jinn Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 2, 2003
    Poor Obi :_|

    Love how the Jinns care about him - very good indeed.
    Seems like little Obi needs it badly.

    Now, who dared treat him like that? :mad:

    More soon? [face_hopeful]
     
  8. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    The plot thickens :) I'm not even going to wager a guess as to what exactly is going on with our sweet little Obi-Wan. You'll no doubt surprise us all anyways [face_mischief]

    Wonderful interaction between Qui and his wife, they seem to have a very warm sweet and open marriage. Loved the talk at the end where she reminded him that his burdens are hers as well.

    I have to wonder what the morning will bring and how easy it will be for Qui to remain a constant in Obi's life. What a hard life our little would be padawan seems to have had. I'm so glad Qui is in the picture now and can give some love and stability.[face_praying]

    Great Job Laura!

    --shan
     
  9. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    That was great. WIll begging for more work? It worked last time :D
     
  10. PadawanEstel

    PadawanEstel Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 23, 2004
    Oh, how sweet! [face_love] The poor kid is just so scared and confused... for it to not make sense that someone cares about him is just heartbreaking! Follow your instincts, Qui-Gon! Give him a hug!
    [face_thinking] :mad: Now, who's hurting my poor baby like that? Hmmm... a certain black haired young man comes to mind...:confused:
     
  11. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Julune turned to face him, her eyes fierce, and reached up to tangle her fingers in his beard, holding his face in both hands. ?Darling, we are one. Your burdens are my burdens?your cares are my cares. This poor, suffering child has made a claim on you somehow, through the Force or through something more simple. And as your heart belongs to me, so does the claim. I wouldn?t have it any other way.? She glanced at the boy, her eyes softening. ?Besides, I think he?s made a claim on me, too. Didn?t take long,? she added musingly.

    Okay, you can end it right here. Obi-Wan stays with the Jinns, is loved and cared for, becomes big brother to Baby Jinn, and lives happily ever after. [face_praying]

    No such luck, huh? Why do I sense angst on the horizon? [face_worried]
     
  12. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Angst? Why would you ever think that, Noi? I mean, just because it's a story by may----oh.

    :D
     
  13. KSkywalker

    KSkywalker Jedi Grand Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 1998
    [hl=yellow]?You . . . you took him to your house? But, Mr. Jinn . . .?

    ?All right. Thank you, Mr. Jinn. Oh, Master Shilbey is not going to be happy . . .? [/hl]




    Did anyone notice this reaction? Why wouldn't Master Shilbey be happy that one of his wards has been found and is being cared for? Sounds VERY suspicious! I don't think I'm going to like this fellow too much!
     
  14. Knight-Nix

    Knight-Nix Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 2, 2005
    I just read this one FF.net :) its really great. I especally like Julune. Good job and thanks for reading mine.
     
  15. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Awww that's so sweet! Poor Obi :( Thinking nobody cares or even should. Shame on him...but if I was in his situation I'd think the same. He believes in nothing right now cuz he believes nobody believes in him. Totally sad...


    [:D] Well done once more! Love Mr. and Mrs. Jinn! They're so sweet together!!!
     
  16. darshaassant

    darshaassant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2005
    Heh.... It's nice how they accepted Obi into their family.... pooor obi... is he gonna be alright? I HATE XANATOS (in this one)
     
  17. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    LuvEwan I love the atmosphere of the Jinn home, how wife and husband are so alike, so generous.

    Ah, thank you. :D It made sense to me that Qui-Gon would only fall in love with a woman whose heart was as big his.

    Princess_Arulmozhi who has been poking him??? I would like to tear them apart. Grr...

    Wow. I did not expect to get such vehement reactions to this. It's just a few bruises. He hasn't even been tortured or anything. :D

    Seven

    Thank you! Yes, more soon.

    Bastet If Obi really can't be a Jedi now, I think the Jinns should adopt him.

    Funny, I've been getting that comment a LOT . . .

    Gkilkenny Look after him Qui-Gon!!

    :) You can be sure he'll do his best!

    Jedi_Tigris Poor Obi-Wan, being confused because someone cares for him? What has he been through all these years?

    Pretty much just neglect, in this particular AU. There will be explanations eventually.

    dianethx I adore those two. So well matched, loving and warm.

    [face_love] Thanks! I'm glad people seem to like Julune.

    Qui-Gina-Jinn Love how the Jinns care about him - very good indeed. Seems like little Obi needs it badly.

    He does indeed. It's all been a little much for the poor kid. Thanks for reading!

    shanobi I have to wonder what the morning will bring and how easy it will be for Qui to remain a constant in Obi's life.

    A very good question. A few ideas will be coming in a post or two.

    And you can rest assured that Qui-Gon will do everything in his power to make it easier for Obi-Wan! :)

    PadawanKitara WIll begging for more work? It worked last time

    [face_not_talking] Begging? You think begging will sway me from my decided post schedule?

    :D Well, maybe.

    PadawanEstel Follow your instincts, Qui-Gon! Give him a hug!

    LOL! I'm afraid that would just confuse the poor kid more. Be patient. It's coming.

    Xanatos has gone back to the temple already. Perhaps I should mention that at some point.

    Master_Noi Obi-Wan stays with the Jinns, is loved and cared for, becomes big brother to Baby Jinn, and lives happily ever after.

    Believe it or not, that is very tempting! I keep having bunnies for Obi-Wan and the baby interacting . . . But no. Must remain firm. The plot must be carried out. Your senses are well in tune!

    LuvEwan Angst? Why would you ever think that, Noi? I mean, just because it's a story by may----oh.

    [face_laugh] You're teasing me! Yes, yes, you know me very well. As I've said somewhere else, nothing good ever happens to these two without a little suffering.

    KSkywalker Did anyone notice this reaction? Why wouldn't Master Shilbey be happy that one of his wards has been found and is being cared for? Sounds VERY suspicious! I don't think I'm going to like this fellow too much!

    [face_thinking] Hmm. Interesting take on the good supervisor. I just might surprise you.

    Or maybe not. :D

    Knight-Nix

    Thanks for reading! I'm enjoying your story, too.

    Master! Shame on him...but if I was in his situation I'd think the same. He believes in nothing right now cuz he believes nobody believes in him.

    ::tackle-hug:: Good to see you! Though it's only been, what, a day? Anyway, you're right on in your analysis. Obi feels that he's been ignored and passed over pretty much forever, which is not a great confidence-builder.

    darshaassant I HATE XANATOS (in this one)

    LOL! Thank you for your good thoughts on behalf of my Obi. Xanatos will see the light. Maybe. Eventually. If all goes well. :D


    Thanks, everybody! It's fun to write for you.

    Next post ETA: Saturday
     
  18. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Chapter 6: Questions

    It was not an easy night. The medicine was unsuccessful at keeping Obi-Wan in a drugged sleep after an hour or so, and the fever worsened despite the antipyretic, much to Julune?s displeasure. She wasn?t much surprised, though.

    ?He?s weak,? she explained to a worried Qui-Gon, halfway through yet another fever-dream. The boy usually calmed somewhat when someone touched him, so she sat beside the couch, again holding his hand and caressing his forearm in smooth, measured strokes. ?He obviously hasn?t been taking care of himself, whether because of depression or malaise or plain indifference. The human body can only bear lack of food and sleep for so long. No doubt the exposure exacerbated the problem, but I?m willing to bet that this has been coming for quite some time.?

    Obi-Wan tossed his head, moaning softly, and muttered something that sounded too much like: ?Dead, all dead, should be me.?

    Qui-Gon frowned. ?Will he have enough strength to recover??

    ?He?ll have to,? Julune said grimly. She looked up and offered him a tired smile. ?Of course he will. We?ll do all we can to help. By morning we?ll know better what else we should do.?

    They took turns sitting with the boy, soothing the almost-incessant hallucinations, forcing medicine and fluids down his protesting throat whenever they could. At times Obi-Wan was aware of their ministrations, and was either achingly grateful or unbearably confused that anyone would care for him. Both reactions made Qui-Gon?s chest hurt. No child should think so little of himself.

    He listened attentively to the boy?s ramblings, hoping to learn some clue as to what had happened to him between the Enrichment Zone and Bandor. But the words were broken and nonsensical most of the time, and those statements that did emerge relatively intact were pleas, self-recriminations, and declarations against the dark. Obi-Wan saw only pain and despair in these specters, and Qui-Gon could not tell if they were past memory, future fear, or merely the present concoctions of an overwrought mind.

    The worst bout came some time in the early morning hours, during Qui-Gon?s watch, as luck or the Force would have it. Obi-Wan had been sleeping for a time, his breath still coming much too quickly for true slumber, sweat-slicked head rocking occasionally as if to dodge a blow or shake free of unwanted hands. Qui-Gon had been sitting in the broken-down recliner dragged over next to the couch, reading his datapad, or at least pretending to. There was no one to convince, though, Julune having retired for a couple hours of sleep.

    Abruptly, Obi-Wan began to struggle, throwing off the covers and writhing half-off the couch, a hoarse cry tearing from him. Qui-Gon dropped the datapad and lunged forward to catch his upper body before it struck the floor. The bare shoulders in his hands jerked at the contact, fever-bright eyes flaring open in shock and terror to stare up at him in a cruel semblance of lucidity.

    ?Make it stop!? Obi-Wan?s tone was not begging, but ordering Qui-Gon to listen and obey. ?Make it stop! You are the key!? A small hand shot out to grip the front of Qui-Gon?s tunic with more strength than any sick youngster ought to be able to muster. ?You can make it right!?
    .
    Qui-Gon passed his arm around the too-warm body and tugged it back onto the couch. He could not straighten back up, though, the urgent hand wrapped in his tunic preventing him. He bent over the boy, trying to see clarity past the pain in his eyes. ?The key to what?? he asked gently. ?What do I need to make right??

    A spasm of frustration crossed the flushed features. The hand in Qui-Gon?s tunic was shaking, the unexpected strength all but burnt away. ?It?s all wrong,? he insisted. ?I told you before. It?s all . . . all wrong. All of it.?

    ?All of what??

    ?Everything!?

    Obi-Wan?s entire body was shaking now. But the strength of his conviction had not waned. If only Qui-Gon understood what he was convicted about . . .

    ?What do you mean by everything? The path of the un
     
  19. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh those fevered visions were harsh on poor Obi :( And he's been having those dreams for while now??? Oh my...

    And Qui :( Feeling so helpless as to what to do but to try and comfort the youth.

    Great work Padawan! Very explicit and vivid! Loved it! :D Hefty on the Obi angst there ;)
     
  20. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 16, 2004
    Loved the Obi-angst. So very intense...and I'm glad Qui was there to help him through it. And those visions...:eek:

    So this is why he worked so hard to be trained (loved the way you tied it all up too.) :)

    Great work!
     
  21. Obi_Kenobi_Devotee

    Obi_Kenobi_Devotee Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2004
    Another great post. My favorite thus far. I like the emotion in this one...Awesome job! :D I'm hooked.
     
  22. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Absolutely riveting post, Laura!

    So Obi is having visions of the life that should have been. Qui-Gon's interaction with this boy he barely knows, is so sweet - exactly how I like my Qui-Gon :)

    I am sensing a very long story indeed here. Lovely! I'm very much looking forward to it!

    And I must say - awesome closing line :)

    --shan
     
  23. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 1999
    Oh, poor Obi-Wan, that was very angsty indeed. Why is he being plagued by those horrible visions?! None of that's gonna happen now, though, right? But I guess if it's supposed to, because of that whole balance thing...blah! Must have more soon, need answers! Qui is awesome in this, I love how he keeps doing things for Obi without even thinking about it. Very nice story!
     
  24. judsta36

    judsta36 Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2005
    Wow, this fic is fantastic. Hope Obi gets lucid soon! o_O
     
  25. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Loved, loved, loved the fever dreams. It is all wrong, so very wrong. Because Qui-Gon isn't there to find Anakin, isn't there to train Obi-Wan who will train Anakin. Who will defeat the Sith in the end. Now there is no end, only Palpatine hiding in the dark and invincible.

    Marvelously done. I flew through that post, wanting to read it so fast like I was in a speeder. And then going back to savor the way you wrote it. Disjointed dreams, so realistic and poor Qui-Gon unable to figure out what he is saying. Hope he can talk to someone about the dreams, someone that might understand them.

    Great job.
     
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