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Before - Legends The Unchosen (Qui/Obi AU) note from the author 4/9

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by maychorian, Jun 2, 2005.

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  1. TimeLordEmiri

    TimeLordEmiri Jedi Youngling

    Jan 6, 2003
    Wow! I've just come across this story and already
    I can't wait to read more.

    Seeing Obi and Qui-gon together in such tender scenes
    really makes my fangirlish heart happy.

    I patiently (not) await more!
  2. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 30, 1999
    Wonderful post! :D I really am in awe of this story, you have just great talent may! Thank you for sharing it with us! :D
  3. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    Thanks, May [face_blush] And I've read this several times already.

    I just love the dynamics among the three of them. Julune's concern for Obi-Wan and her obvious love for her mushy husband, Qui-Gon's big heart and understanding that Obi-Wan would be embarrassed by the way they slept, Obi-Wan so hurt and confused by their kindness. Speaks volumes of their relationship, now and to come.

    I found this disturbing. I dreamed, the same dreams as always, but worse because I was so tired and hot. Poor kid, to have those destructive dreams with no one to help him on Bandomeer and the Jedi just dumping him without some guidance of how to cope - even if they didn't know, they should have sensed something of his pain.

    And this was just heart-wrenching.
    ?I know. I can never thank you enough. I don?t understand why you?re being so kind to me, but it truly does mean more than I can say. I?ve been . . .?

    The boy fell silent. Qui-Gon waited patiently, though he had an idea of what his temporary ward wanted to say.

    ?Alone,? Obi-Wan finished quietly. His gaze flashed up for a brief, lovely moment to look the man squarely in the eye with all the courage and inner strength Qui-Gon had known all along was there. ?For such a very long time, I?ve been alone.

    Damn the Jedi for making a child feel unwanted.

    Luckily, he now has found someone to help him - if he will let him (and if Agricorps will let him)

    Very much looking forward to the next post.

  4. Jennifer_Lyn

    Jennifer_Lyn Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 8, 2005
    This is wonderful! Bravo! Beautifully written! I can't wait to see more!
  5. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 7, 2005
    judsta36 maychorian, thanks for being so welcoming!

    You're welcome! :D And hey, if you like Obi-Wan, check out the workshop thread on the Resource board. We have a ton of fun there.

    LuvEwan I'd say this post was this story's Chapter 18, if you know what I mean.

    :D Thanks! Just you wait, though . . . It will get worse.

    masterobiwankenobi i had to delurk to tell you that i really like this though. you have such great descriptions.

    Thanks for delurking! ::does new reader happy dance:: I'm glad you're enjoying it!


    [face_laugh] I will try. I've been spoiling you guys with such regular, frequent posts.

    Jedi_Tigris Wonder what they'll think and do about it.

    So far, just be shocked. They'll need to seek some advice, though.

    darshaassant And yeah, patients tend to stink after a while. I've been one many times, so I know.

    Aw, that stinks. Literally. :D Julune is oddly squeamish about some things.

    My Master And now they know! They have a bond!

    Yup. I was just writing along, planning to have Qui-Gon explain it all, when I realized, "Well, duh, Obi-Wan is a powerful Force-sensitive. He's probably figured it out, too." So that came nicely while I was writing. Thanks!

    River_Stone It's so sweet and so very well written. I can't wait to see where you take us.

    Hehehe, thank you. I'm curious, too.

    NomiJinn Only problem is after every chapter im dying for the next one

    ::does new reader happy dance:: Oh, don't die! Here comes your fix!

    kenobiwanobi So thanks for being what makes me enjoy this site so much.

    Aw, thanks. Nice to meet you! ::does new reader happy dance again:: There are tons of good writers on this site. Have fun exploring!

    meg_an2006 and I feel bad for Obi-Wan, always something going wrong for the boy.

    :D Ain't that the truth. Thanks for reading!

    Master_Noi This was so sweet, especially that Qui-Gon was worried that Obi-Wan might be embarrassed about being held. If only he knew that the boy just needed a little mush.

    [face_love] I think Qui-Gon will figure it out pretty easily. Obi-Wan isn't all that hard to read. And they have a bond, too. Kid's been deprived--I don't think he'll mind be treated with a little tenderness, though it's definitely been a bit of shock so far.

    ithesock And Julune is the best wife for our mushy Qui.

    It gives me warm fuzzies how well everyone seems to like Julune. [face_love] She loves you, too.

    PadawanKitara The frightening things is, that towards the end, I think Obi-Wan was lucid.

    You're right. Qui-Gon can try to pass it off as dreams if he wants, but deep down they both know that they're actually visions. Very scary.

    astraevirgo I wonder if Dooku is still in the Order, what stopped Xani from turning, who was Xani's master...

    ::does new reader happy dance:: Thanks! And welcome! There are a number of great AUs going on right now. On the subject of Masters and Padawans, more backstory will be coming. :) I'm just not sure when.

    TimeLordEmiri Seeing Obi and Qui-gon together in such tender scenes really makes my fangirlish heart happy.

    ::does new reader happy dance:: Hehe, mine too. [face_love] I'm a mush gourmet, you might say. Glad you're enjoying it!

    Bastet Thank you for sharing it with us!

    Aw, you're welcome. [:D] Thanks for reading and reviewing! It warms the cockles of my heart.

    dianethx Damn the Jedi for making a child feel unwanted.

    Diane, I always love your reviews. Especially when you respond with exactly the reaction I was hoping for. :D Yeah, the Jedi in this AU are either really blind or kind of evil. I haven't really decided yet. But the whole Agri-Corps thing was like that to begin with. Thanks so much!

    Jennifer_Lyn I can't wait to see more!

  6. maychorian

    maychorian Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 7, 2005
    Chapter 8: Tea with the Agri-Corps

    Qui-Gon sensed the visitors coming before they reached the door and went out to meet them, preventing a ringing of the chime. Obi-Wan had been exhausted after breakfast, but had been unable to settle down for the necessary nap for some time, his thoughts too chaotic and confused. Qui-Gon had not been able to help calm him at all, his own mind similarly disquieted. Finally the boy had found rest, after much tossing and turning and twitching, and Qui-Gon wanted nothing to disturb him.

    It was Heim Shilbey and Nira. They started a bit at his sudden appearance at the door, his finger to his lips. For a moment the three just looked at each other. Then Qui-Gon motioned for them to come inside.

    ?Obi-Wan is asleep,? he murmured. ?Follow me to the kitchen. We?ll talk there.?

    They treaded softly through the common room. Qui-Gon noticed the cautious glances his visitors turned toward the sleeping boy, their eyes full of relief and concern, and some of the dark doubts he had been harboring began to ease. But he still had many questions.

    The two Agri-Corps workers sat at the small table, a bit cramped in the limited space. Qui-Gon moved quietly about the kitchen, playing host. ?Tea? Sugar tarts? I believe we have some poli fruit and sweetberries, too.?

    Shilbey nodded slowly. ?That would be a kindness. Thank you, Mr. Jinn.?

    ?It?s Qui-Gon. Please. We should have been on a first-name basis since our first meeting, and I see no need to change my mind on that.? At least not yet. It all depended on what sort of answers the Agri-Corps supervisor would give him.

    Again the slow nod. ?Very well, Qui-Gon. I appreciate your generosity.?

    Before long they sat at the table looking at each other, an untouched plate of tarts and fruit between them. Qui-Gon wrapped his hands around the warm porcelain of his cup and inhaled deeply of rich herbal fumes. He liked his tea brewed strong and dark. His visitors could like it or not as they chose?he was only making one pot.

    Nira glanced between the two men nervously as silence stretched and they continued staring at each other. ?So . . . how is young Kenobi, then?? she asked. ?You said he was ill??

    Qui-Gon sat back slightly in his chair. ?He had a bad fever last night. It has broken, but he?s still very weak. He?ll need time to recover. And I must say that I am disturbed by the causes behind his illness.?

    ?Oh, you?re disturbed?? Shilbey?s eyes narrowed. ?What right do you??

    ?What causes do you speak of?? Nira interrupted, leaning forward to snag a tart and popping it quickly into her mouth. ?Mmmm. These are exquisite. Who?s the chef??

    Qui-Gon frowned. He took a slow, deliberate sip of his tea. Tea-drinking could be soothing, he?d read somewhere. ?The bakery down the street. I?m speaking of Obi-Wan?s utter exhaustion and that he apparently hasn?t eaten at all since he came to Bandomeer, and no one in the Agri-Corps noticed. I?m speaking of the bruises all over his face and upper body, some of which have the distinctive shape of human fingers.. I?m speaking of the fact that he somehow managed to get a full day?s walk away from the Enrichment Zone in a condition that seemed more conducive to crawling than walking. These little quirks are what I find disturbing. Don?t tell me that they?re normal in new Agri-Corps workers??

    Nira froze in mid-chew, and Heim Shilbey bristled for a moment, straightening his shoulders as if bracing himself for a fight. Then he deflated with a long sigh, like a smashball with a sudden leak, his head sinking toward his still-full teacup. ?No. And yes.?

    Qui-Gon took another deliberate sip. ?What do you mean??

    Heim scrubbed a hand over his face and lifted his head to look the other man in eye. ?I mean that some of that is normal, yes. Youngsters who come to us from the Jedi Temple are often very homesick and depressed for the first few weeks. We knew that this boy was taking it particularly hard, that he was having trouble sleeping and had lost his interest in just about everything, i
  7. kateydidnt

    kateydidnt Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 11, 2004
    Snatching First post!

    Sorry about that--I read the chapter but then I had customers before I coud write a proper response. I loved this chapter Laura! Really really great. Hmmm, I wonder-would Obi-Wan leave the Agri-Corp completely and remain with the Jinns? I wonder at the effect that would have.

    I wonder what Yoda thinks about all this--he always seemed to have a special place for Obi-Wan.

    Every time you write a chapter- you leave me begging for more!
  8. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 11, 2001
    Well that meeting went much better than I was expecting. I always expect the worst - it's so nice when it doesn't happen :)

    I like this Agri-corp guy, appears to be quite forthright and sincere. The interaction between all them was done very well.

    So Obi gets to stay, atleast for a week :) I'm so happy for him. More time to bond.

    Your writing of this pair is absolutely lovely [face_love]

  9. meg_an2006

    meg_an2006 Jedi Knight

    Mar 4, 2005
    Another great post! Yay! Obi-Wan gets to stay with Qui-Gon!
  10. astraevirgo

    astraevirgo Jedi Youngling star 1

    Mar 2, 2003
    I'll dance with you. ::does the good story dance::

    Well, the comm conversation was suspicious, but their tea and crumpets conversation was not so suspicious... hm...

    Superb. ::grins::

    ps- Virgo works just as well as astraevirgo, and it's shorter to type. ;)
  11. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Mar 2, 2004
    Good! I'm glad to hear those Agri folks aren't that bad afterall! *whew*

    Poor Obi :( Well at least he gets to stay with Qui and Julune :D I like that!

    Great job once more Padawan! [:D]
  12. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 24, 2002
    A lot indeed. o_O And I can't wait to see all that happens to these two. I just adore your writing style, may. It's both gentle and rich, with lovely characterization for every character, major or minor. So beautiful. You should be very proud of this. =D=
  13. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Dec 31, 2001
    So if it'a not that AGriCorps guy, then I guess we have to find someone else to be scared of
  14. Seven

    Seven Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 20, 2000
    ~blinks speachlessly~





    But this was a wonderful chapter.

    I simply adored Jinn's reaction to the Agri-corps people... and the fact that Obi was less that stellar with thier disicion to talk about his future without him.

    More soon please?

  15. ithesock

    ithesock Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 12, 2005
    Lovely chapter, May. I loved how Qui didn't want to make them tea at first, and then thought he should have, once he realized that they weren't that unsympathetic. And his fierce protectiveness of Obi. [face_love] Great work.
  16. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 8, 2004
    Okay, the Agri-corp guy can stay for now. He doesn't seem to have hurt Obi-Wan, but I'm still not sure of him. It is good that he is letting Obi-Wan stay with Qui-Gon for some time. They really need some time to figure out this bond.

    Hmmm, if the Agri-corp leaders are okay then that still means there is a baddie running around somewhere out there. [face_worried]
  17. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004

    Yep I agree there is still an evil one out there
    waiting to pounce.[face_devil]

    Great Story I'll sit here and wait for more.[face_coffee]
  18. darshaassant

    darshaassant Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 13, 2005
    Oh man... I got a measly 12th post! *curses time differences*

    Yay! Tehy're going to be together!
  19. Bekah_K

    Bekah_K Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 3, 2002
    *delurking* [face_blush]

    I am enjoying this fic very much! I like how Qui-Gon is trying to figure things out in regard to his newly developed relationship with Obi-Wan and also his own force-sensitivity.

    Qui's right, a lot can happen in a week. Perhaps he and Obi-Wan will figure things out between them, even if its only a partial understanding of how their bond began.

    Wonderful job with this, May! You are a talented writer and I enjoy reading your fics. Please know that I am reading even if I don't always reply. :)
  20. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    Lovely post, May. :) Like Noi, I still have suspicions about Heim, but he can stay...

    ...for now. :p

    Looking forward to more! :)
  21. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    I had to think about this post for a while... and read it a couple of times as well. :D
    It was interesting that the Agri-corps people seem well-meaning and quite concerned about Obi-Wan, if a little unobservant. They need to rethink how they approach the recruits after the young ones reach the AC. I can certainly believe that most of them are depressed and morose after being "rejected" by the Jedi Order to tend crops. And I liked that they mentioned that there were other options if the AC didn't pan out.

    So the question then becomes who did that to Obi-Wan? Why did they and will they try again?

    I look forward to seeing Qui-Gon find out a little more about the connection they have. However, Obi-Wan will still need to come to grips with not becoming a Knight.

    Great job. Going to read it again.
  22. solojones

    solojones Chosen One star 10

    Sep 27, 2000
    I've just caught up. I keep telling myself I need to read more in Before the Saga, and boy have I been right. I really love Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan together, especially when portrayed properly, not in the evil manner of that *one* so called professional author... But truly, this story has some great interactions. And on top of that, I'm really, really intrigued by the whole concept of the story itself and where you're headed with it. Nice work, may! Keep it up :D

    [hl=tan]-sj loves kevin spacey[/hl]
  23. Lady_Snow_Kaguya

    Lady_Snow_Kaguya Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 9, 2005

    Every time you post, I think I adore Qui a little more. And his overprotectiveness from the JA books is here too! Very nice. Will he get to adopt Obi? Or will teh Force give them both a kick in the rear and say " go.destiny.make it happen , people!" So many interesting thoughts from this....
    ^_~ Cant wait for more!
  24. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 30, 1999
    Ooh, great post! (As always!) :D I'm glad Obi-Wan gets to stay with the Jinns for a while, poor kid really needs some lovin'.
  25. Jedi_Tigris

    Jedi_Tigris Jedi Knight star 4

    Mar 7, 2005
    Great post!

    I'm glad the Agri Corp people and Qui have a sort of understanding. I thought it was thoughtful of Nira to offer Obi the chance to choose what he wants to do. Interesting to think that there are options other than Agri Corp if Obi really couldn't work there. :) Maybe Obi can stay with the Jinns? He does have a bond with Qui after all, hope they figure out what to do with it soon, or how important it is. They have time while Obi recovers. :)
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