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Saga The User (1:3) 'Metalegacies' - Chapter 7 (OCs, CorSec Detectives)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Luton_Plunder, Aug 23, 2007.

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  1. Luton_Plunder

    Luton_Plunder Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Title: "The User - Episode 1:3 'Metalegacies'"
    Timeframe: About 2 years before ANH
    Characters: OC's
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    Summary: Detective Tadgh Maitland and his brother Taban investigate a remote planet that may conceal secrets from their past. Meanwhile, Detective Jeanice Keyston investigates the resurgence of a xenophobic gang.
    Disclaimer: I don't own star wars and wont ever make any money off of this story, ever, ever. George Rulez, ok?



    Welcome, welcome to the Third episode in the series! New readers, rest assured I will attempt to make this as stand-alone as humanly possible. But if you would like to fill in the back-references, feel free to read up on the first two adventures!


    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/24799569/p1/?0]The User 1:1 - Special Investigations[/link]
    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/the_saga/b10476/26249122/p1/?0]The User 1:2 - Premeditated[/link]


    So, with a deep breath, the saga continues....




    [b][u]Primary Characters[/u][/b]

    [image=http://img239.imageshack.us/img239/2705/tadgh2ec0.jpg] [b]Tadgh Maitland [/b]- CorSec Detective with Special Investigations (SIn)

    [b]Jeanice "Keys" Keyston[/b] - CorSec Detective with Special Investigations (SIn) [image=http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/8377/keys2at1.jpg]

    [image=http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/4750/taban2nx6.jpg][b] Taban Maitland[/b] - Director (and sole employee) of CorSec Droids & Data division - Brother of Tadgh Maitland

    [b]Iqbal 'Despot' Despotov[/b] - Director of CorSec Special Investigations (SIn) [image=http://img167.imageshack.us/img167/9963/despot2hl8.jpg]

    [image=http://img486.imageshack.us/img486/9670/kaylehvn3.jpg] [b]Kayleh[/b] - A Mysterious Jedi Knight


    [hr]


    [b][i]Previously on [/i]The User...[/b]


    [hl=black]During the course of Investigating an impossible murder, Detective Tadgh Maitland was confronted by a Dark Jedi (and Emperor's Hand) named Bastian. Convinced that Tadgh and his brother Taban were force sensitive due to their Jedi Father, she attempted to kill them both. She was wrong about their force sensitivity and thwarted by Tadgh, who had no choice but to kill her. The Emperor was outraged and assigned another of his secret hands - 'Thirteen' - to attempt to either convert or kill the brothers.

    One week later, during the investigation of a kidnapping, Tadgh encountered a second Force User named The Mystic who possessed an ability to see into the future. After helping locate the kidnapped victim, The Mystic was killed by Thirteen in the middle of his CorSec prison cell. The relentless pursuit and destruction of other Force Users in the galaxy continues.[/hl]


    [hr]




    [u][b]The User - Episode 1:3
    [/b]Metalegacies



    Pre-Credits Sequence


    [/u]Detective Tadgh Maitland trained his BlasTech on a point somewhere below the eyebrows of the Duro thug and above the forehead of the human hostage. Grey hands gripped the woman's neck, restricting her from crying out as she so obviously wanted to. It was difficult to block out the taunts of the crowd, elated that human blood may be spilled in the name of their entertainment, but he had to try. This shot would take nothing less than his absolute concentration.

    "I know what you're thinking, Detective," the Duro said with a menacing grin. "And I know you are good enough to make the shot."

    Tadgh tightened his grip and steeled himself. He had been expecting trouble when he had gone to investigate the reports of gangland human death matches, but had never expected it to be this serious. All he could do was keep his calm and attempt to decipher the best course of action.

    "But even you will admit that you are not invincible," the Duro continued, snaking a dented vibroblade across his captive's throat. "We have the superior numbers."

    It was true enough. There were at least twelve other gang members of various species around him, all clutching guns or close-range weapons. He had been unable to identify which specific gang this was, but judging by the firearms they were carrying they were well funde>
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Hit by a sudden pang of guilt, Tadgh walked to her. He wanted to apologise for risking a shot over her shoulder - such a thing was known to induce shock. He would need to comfort her in any way he could, especially given all she had been through in the custody of these alien thugs.

    He was stopped in his tracks, however, when she put a hand across her chest and beamed at them.

    "That was so cool!"


    Priceless! :D

    Please put me on your PM list!

    =D=
     
  3. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Hee!! What a wild first post, Luton! I honestly loved it to pieces! The hostage's line at the very end just MADE the chapter for me! A brilliant touch!

    Tadgh is my new favorite hero. I just adore him. The way he gets so annoyed with the bad guys is priceless. His comment about getting stuck listening to monologues had me in stitches. You have created such a neat guy here!! I really root for him and his CorSec colleagues - something that makes me nervous since there is still so much sinister stuff lurking around the corners! [face_worried]

    Thank you so much for the wonderful PM! I would have hated to have missed the beginning of the next tale in our series. I'll have to ask for your patience though - my Dad is having bypass / valve replacement surgery in the next few weeks, so I have a feeling I'll be MIA for a bit. I'll be back, I promise! I just didn't want you to think that I had lost interest of abandoned the story or anything. I've been here from the beginning and I play to stick around to the very end. :D

    As always, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!!!

     
  4. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Yay, new story time. :D

    Human death matches? Whew, that ain't a good thing to have happening on your planet. :(


    He didn't dwell on it. It could wait until after he had apprehended them all.

    Atta boy, Tadgh. If ever a situation called for confidence, it would be this one.


    Tadgh wished he could have thought of a better excuse as to why he did it, but the reality was that the monologue was becoming unbearably boring.

    hee hee. Hopefully that's not what Tadgh puts in his report to Despot. ;)


    Her CorSec ID hung from her neck, glinting through the cloudy air like a beacon of the law.

    That's a darn cool image. :)

    The competitive dynamic between Mercutia and Lockyer is interesting. It was a good thing Tadgh and Keys had their help in this situation. And I agree that the hostage's reaction at the end was great. [face_laugh]

    Hmm, it's kinda weird how part of that horoscope actually was accurate for me today... [face_thinking]

    Excellent first post! There are already a few things I'm curious about, but I'll wait and see if they're answered as things develop. :)

    -Thumper
     
  5. Darth_Manion

    Darth_Manion Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Huzzah for shooting stuff! It's nice to see a fresh chapter of The User again. And new characters, as well. In my book, you can never have too much cannon fodder ;).

    As for these pesky alien-supremacy cabals... I think my conspiracy-detector is telling me that there's more than just a bunch of thugs at work here. Although, I should probably wait until I've got more than a hunch before I begin my wild plot theories.

    Be honorable, ronin.[face_peace]
     
  6. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    That hostage reminded me of the kid on the bike from The Incredibles. And then of Hot Fuzz. That's just the way I am. :p

    Good start, LP, and one that throws us right into the action. Nice to see Tadgh and Keys in their CorSec element, particularly when it means new characters. Can't have three to four detectives running all of SIn can we? :D

    And continuing Face's random association game, I got a Gimli/Legolas running death count vibe from Lockyer and Mercutia.

    Very much looking forward to this, LP. I'll be expecting update PMs of course. :-B
     
  7. Luton_Plunder

    Luton_Plunder Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2006
    MamaVader - Thanks so much for checking this out :D Consider yourself added to the 'best dressed list' ;)

    Parky - Welcome to the latest episode :D And thankyou for adopting Tadgh as your new favourite hero :p

    And as for your concerns regarding being away shortly, think absolutely nothing of it! I hope everything goes incredibly smoothly for you and your father. I'll keep you both in my thoughts. See you whenever you are able :D Thanks again for replying!

    Thumper - New story time indeed! Faster than I'd thought too :p

    Human death matches were about the most abhorrent thing I could think of within the TOS :p It's actually a bit of a fine line to walk. Effectively, Corellia is gripped in a time period in which racism is quite prevalent between humans and non-humans. Tadgh, Keys, and every human character is inherently racist in this story because of the climate around them. The xenophobic gangs they are fighting only exist becuase of xenophobia in the first place, so it's thin ice stuff. I don't want to portray any of my characters as indecently racist because they aren't - but the climate of the galaxy dictates that they base more decisions on race than they should.

    Glad you like Mercutia and Lockyer! As Face said, you cant have all of SIn represented by 3 detectives :p

    And haha, you think there's a career for me in astrology? :p Thanks so much for the reply!

    Manion - Haha, Manion, you've just about mimicked one of Taban's lines from chapter two when you said 'Huzzah for shooting stuff' :p Well picked, sir! And your alien-supremicist conspiracy theories may or may not be well founded. I don't know. I'm a clueless bystander.

    Thanks for replying! More to come shortly :D

    Face - Haha, Hot Fuzz is one of my favourite movies ever. I think I will write all the SIn detectives with some kind of cake or ice cream in their hands from now on. I'm very glad to see you like the new characters too, who will have more of a role as the story goes on. Here they're just kind of names that shoot guns :p Gimli/Legolas is probably a good analogy for them ;)

    Thanks for the reply! More coming your way shortly...
     
  8. Rogue_Pilot_2347

    Rogue_Pilot_2347 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 16, 2005
    Oh goodness. I'm sensing a nightmare tagalong here. Nevertheless, it was cool. I'll give her that.

    Nice start. I'm liking it so far.

    Just for everyone's benifit: reading Luton's pms at 11:00 at night is not a good idea: They make very little sense.

    Can't wait for the next bit!
     
  9. Luton_Plunder

    Luton_Plunder Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Rogue_Pilot - Great to see you back :D

    Haha, I promise our easily impressed hostage has been heard from for the last time ;) I do apologise for the PMs, they make so much sense to me at the time :p

    Thanks so much for continuing to read!





    [u]Chapter One[/u]


    "He made a mistake," Tadgh said, looking down at the momentarily lifeless body of the Duro he had stunned. The gang members had been bound and placed in a line along the ground in anticipation for their waking. CorSec Patrol had arrived to secure the scene and the entire area was now awash with officers. "In his speech about family," Tadgh qualified.

    "Oh yes?" Director of Special Investigations 'Despot' Despotov asked at his side, engrossed in compiling the initial reports he had been given by all four SIn officers in attendance.

    "He used the term too loosely," Tadgh continued, surveying the scene one final time. Mercutia and Lockyer, after finding and freeing the remaining hostages, had left the scene already to continue with their own independent investigations. Keys lingered to interrogate the gang members they had arrested. "To him, family is anything that draws a group together. It's a numbers game almost. His family of non-humans, my family exclusively of humans. It's flawed."

    "Fascinating," Despot said vacantly, moving to a new area of the scene. Tadgh had to hasten after him to stay in earshot.

    "He forgot that it's not how many people you know that makes a family. It's how well you know them. If he'd known that he might not have chosen Keys as the second hostage. He'd have won," Tadgh admitted.

    "I see," Despot gave a token response, probably unaware of what he was responding to. Tadgh took very close notice of his superior's inattentiveness and smirked to himself.

    "And," he said in a serious tone, "I'm thinking of joining the circus."

    "Mm-hmm," Despot grunted non-committally, eyes not moving from his datapad.

    "And," Tadgh snorted a laugh, "We should change the SIn motto to [i]'have you tried handling it yourself?'[/i]."

    "Mm-hmm," Despot agreed once more.

    "And," Tadgh pushed, thoroughly enjoying himself, "I think I deserve a pay rise of no less than 100 percent."

    "Absolutely not."

    "It was worth a try," Tadgh said and shrugged.

    "You're right though - about the family thing," Despot said, circling the unconscious line of aliens as though holding them there with his gaze alone. "What he's got here certainly isn't a family. Too much animosity, not enough trust. This is a gang, nothing more intimate than that. Now, the question is - which one?"

    Tadgh nodded and surveyed their captives, looking for outward clues as to which group they might belong to. All over Corellia there were gangs built on Xenophobia and it could be any of them. Tri-continuum were a definite possibility, they had one too many determined vigilantes living underground to ever be totally overcome. It was also possible that the Sceptres had made a resurgence, but he truly hoped that wasn't the case. He had personally shut them down a year ago when he'd incarcerated their leader, Mochtaan.

    "Are you thinking," Keys said, moving to stand beside him, "these are the same guys that organised the Heartstring kidnapping a couple of weeks ago?"

    He honestly didn't know and said the only thing he could think of that would get him out of having to provide a concrete answer. "Are you?"

    "Hard to say, given that it's your case," she countered.

    She had her professional face on but he could detect the determination in her voice. After having worked together for years there were certain nuances in one another's manner that they could interpret quite well. At the moment, she was projecting an air of excitement. She was looking forward to interrogating these prisoners.

    "It's yours too, kind of," he replied. Despot had assigned her the case of tracing all recent gang activity that SIn had on record. Technically their jurisdictions were overlapping on this case. "And besides, you're curious."

    "Then I'd say yes," she said, cons>
     
  10. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    A DUN DUN moment indeed!

    "Well," Taban Maitland said, scanning the horizon from his unique vantage point, "this is a fine day to be outside."

    It was true. The weather was particularly clement today. The bright orange sun baked the beautiful streets of Correalis, hot enough to warm the cold metal hearts of droids. A combination of cool breeze and a suitably sleeveless shirt made the temperature pleasant, however - and the fact that this was his day off work would have made for an incredibly close to perfect day. There were factors that counted against it however.

    Like the fact that he was dangling one-armed from the roof of his own apartment building.

    "Hey Tack," he said into the comlink affixed to the neckline of his singlet, "far be it from me to rush you, but the lactic acid is getting to be somewhat unbearable." Speaking about it seemed to only make it worse - the sharp ache in his right arm's muscles was increasing exponentially.

    "Do not worry," Tack's mechanical voice came back instantly. "The concept that muscle lactate equates to lactic acid is a misnomer. Lactic acid cannot form in the human body without specific factors that you are not currently experiencing. You are not susceptible to acidosis."

    Taban bit his lip. "Thankyou. Kind of not the point, but thankyou. Can you just open the damn grate already?"


    Loved it! [face_laugh] =D=
     
  11. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Ha!! You've outdone yourself, Luton - not only was I cracking up at the PM that popped up when I logged in this morning, but the chapter itself was wonderful!!! I absolutely LOVED IT!

    What an incredible blend of humor - and ominous mystery. Who in the world would have sent Tadgh that coin? And more importantly - why? I'm going to go crazy trying to figure all of this out. I mean, the possibilities are endless... some are good for our heroes... and others, not so much. [face_worried] Guess I will just have to exercise the fine art of patience and see where this situation falls.

    I'll be out of touch beginning tomorrow, but I promise to return just as soon as I can. Thanks again for the laugh today - I really needed it. My Dad's surgery is tomorrow so my stress level is somewhere in the upper level of the atomosphere right about now. I appreciate the brief mental vacation!

    Looking forward to more of this wonderful tale!
     
  12. Darth_Manion

    Darth_Manion Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Heeeeyyy, sweet chapter, man.

    That instalment made my day. Seriously.
     
  13. Mjsullivan

    Mjsullivan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 8, 2003
    Okay, deep breaths for a moment...

    I love Carl. Best. OC. Ever :p I suppose there are some other good ones in there too but what do I know. There are totally not enough stoner surfie d00ds walking around in the GFFA. I could imagine this guy either wearing a lay of flowers around his neck and clutching a surfboard or a tie-dyed jumper with socks and sandals. Either way, Taban sure knows how to pick good company huh.

    So, I missed the prologue - a great bit of action and CorSec working relationships on display. And I'm with everyone else on the 'that was cool' line from the hostage - neat :cool:

    Chapter 1 was an exercise in wonderful. Tadgh, Despot and Keys get to all have some banter and Taban gets to show of his leet skillz. So many moments to enjoy, though I really did like the 'I'm feeling lucky' program in Taban's datapad. And Despot's monologue about the safe division of Special Investigations :D

    Post more! Soon!

    Uh...please :p
     
  14. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    I got such a kick out of the e-mail addresses in the forwarded message. :p


    "He forgot that it's not how many people you know that makes a family. It's how well you know them."

    Hmm, I know we're still really early in the game here, but these lines struck me as being important.

    I would have loved to see Despot's expression if Tadgh had tried to enforce the "five hugs a day law" on him. :p Though I imagine for the purposes of the story Tadgh has to at least survive the first chapter, LOL.

    It'll be interesting to see what Keys comes up with regarding this gang, especially whether they're connected to the Heartstring kidnapping and where they're getting their money from.


    Like the fact that he was dangling one-armed from the roof of his own apartment building.

    The placement of this line was great. And poor Taban, getting his hair all mussed up by the big fan. It was fun seeing him buy his way back into his apartment by offering to fix the "security holes." I agree, Carl was cool. :p


    There was a split second of silence from the other end of the comm, followed by Tadgh's wary voice. "Taban, if you ever pretend to be him again I will have the Tactical Response Team bomb that building into the ground."

    I think these are my favorite lines from the post. heh heh. I still laugh just by reading them. :)

    The Jedi Credit that belonged to their father is sure making a big impact on Tadgh and Taban. I'm looking forward to learning more about that.

    Great post!

    -Thumper
     
  15. The_Face

    The_Face Ex-Manager star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 22, 2003
    [face_laugh] Can?t get these things past ol? Despot.

    Great, now I?m seeing Despot as Dr. Perry Cox. ;) Seriously though, awesome rant.

    Haha, very nice reveal of Taban?s situation! The first sentences lull the reader into a nice sense of security, up until you hit us with that. Smoothly done.

    So that?s the purpose of Google?s ?I?m Feeling Lucky? button. Right? :p

    And of course the DUN DUN DUNNNNH. I?m excited to see where this JedCred leads those intrepid Maitlands.

    Excellent chapter, LP! =D=
     
  16. Rogue_Pilot_2347

    Rogue_Pilot_2347 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 16, 2005
    Whoa. Jericho Maitland? Isn't that their dad? This is a good chapter. My body and brain are kind of dead right now, so that's about the best reply I can manage at the moment....Can't wait for the next bit!

    Yeah. I told your CorSec joke to my mom and sister and they totally didn't get it. I even took the SW references out of it.
     
  17. correllian_ale

    correllian_ale Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2005
    What?!?! No PMs. I had to find out about this via [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25562370/p40]The Essential Guide to Original Character Thread[/link] (hosted by one of the most talented, and charismatic names in these parts)?!?!?

    I guess I could just read it anyway, even if I wasn't invited...




    "So here we find how far you are willing to stretch your definition of family. The human you know, or the human you don't? That one," he pointed a grey hand at Keys, "you can quantify her right to life. This one," he shook the woman in his arms again, "you cannot.

    I'm guessing this guy just doesn't know Tadgh at all...



    In one smooth motion, he drew a second blaster from an armpit holster and pointed it straight at Keys' chest. Without giving it another thought, he turned his full attention back to the Duro and squeezed both triggers.

    Ha,ha! A pump-the-fist moment!



    Ooo! And two shiny new characters: Lockyer & Mercutia. Surprises abound. :D

    "That was so cool!"

    Agreed whole-heartedly!!!



    Chapter 1

    "To him, family is anything that draws a group together. It's a numbers game almost. His family of non-humans, my family exclusively of humans. It's flawed."

    Awww, now wait a minute. Tadgh doesn't have to get all "deep" on us now, does he?


    "And," he said in a serious tone, "I'm thinking of joining the circus."

    "Mm-hmm," Despot grunted non-committally, eyes not moving from his datapad.

    "And," Tadgh snorted a laugh, "We should change the SIn motto to 'have you tried handling it yourself?'."

    "Mm-hmm," Despot agreed once more.

    "And," Tadgh pushed, thoroughly enjoying himself, "I think I deserve a pay rise of no less than 100 percent."

    "Absolutely not."


    [face_laugh] Never doubt the captain!


    "I'm sorry, am I to take that as your request to transfer to the safe division of Special Investigations? The one where you track down stolen presents for orphans and battle bah humbug monsters and enforce that everyone must be open about their feelings? Not to forget policing the 'at least five hugs a day' law. Shall I go on, or are you adequately convinced of this division's safeness?"

    [face_laugh] I'm sorry, that was sooooo Sam Jackson.


    The scene with Taban trying to break into his apartment, along with "the dude" was priceless.

    And here I thought 'JM' was going to stand for Jedi Master...very interesting.


    Oh, the tone of anti-human racism was nice at the begining. I'm thinking it ties into a much larger theme though. ;)


    =D= =D=
    Nice to see this one going L_P. And of course, I expect PMs now.:p


     
  18. Luton_Plunder

    Luton_Plunder Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2006
    VaderVLR, Dun Dun DUNNNH is one of my favourite editor's notes. Its up there with "once more, with feeling" and "Needs more cowbell" :D

    Thanks for reading :D

    Parky


    You take just as much time as you need, and I will be thinking of you and your father! I hope everything goes smoothly and you're both enjoying the benefits of hospital vending machines before you know it :p It was they, not the staff, that saved my life in there [face_mischief]

    And yes, regarding the story! I'm glad there is enough mystery to keep you intrigued :D All will be revealed in good time I promise, but in the meantime lets have, oh I don't know, some twists and turns? :p Thanks so much for reading Parky, I look forward to seeing you back soon! [:D]

    Manion - I went ahead. I made your day.

    I'm glad you liked it :D Thanks for reading, and responding!

    Mjs - You live! :p

    I'm glad you like Carl, haha. I cant say he plays a massive role in the series but he helped get chapter one rolling with the funnies. And as for Taban's "I'm feeling lucky" program, it's actually based on the "Luck Virus" from Red Dwarf, remember that? Why not have it in datapad form :D

    You really have little in the way of an appreciation for irony. Say, how is the next chapter of 'Working in Darkness' going anyway? [face_mischief]

    Thanks for the reply!

    Thumper

    It was very fun figuring everyone out :cool:

    And in your reply you have hit on the most significant parts of the story and even the overall series :p Family is this story, and as for who the gang is and who is financing them...this is more a series-long development. But I promise it wont take TOO long to get through it all! Thanks muchly for reading and responding :D

    Face - Dr. Cox would be a fair analogy for Despot when he's in a mood :p Looks like Samuel L Jackson, rants like Perry Cox. Oh. Yeah. :p

    [face_laugh] If only! Actually as I mentioned above it's based on a Red Dwarf concept called the 'Luck Virus'. Interesting really - the theory goes that there are positive viruses that, when infecting a human, can have a wonderful effect on various aspects of peoples lives. The Luck Virus gives you an incredible amount of luck while you're infected - punching in random codes to escape prison, needing to find a specific item and it's lying right beside you, that sort of thing. This is kind of the GFFA Datapad version of it :p

    Thanks for reading and replying!

    R_P - It certainly is their father :D Thanks for the reply - I hope it wasnt the chapter that killed your brain :p

    And haha, my sister didn't get the joke either! I had to explain it step by step which tends to kill these things pretty fast. She laughed. Politely.

    See you next chapter :p

    Ale, tell you what. Forgive me for not sending you an unsolicited PM and I'll forgive you for plugging the Essential Guide in my thread :p (Seriously folks! [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25562370/p41]The Essential Guide to OCs[/link]. The best OCs you'll ever find and a host so timeless he makes the GFFA seem like not so long ago!)

    I'm glad the prologue got you fist-pumping and agreeing with the stand-in characters :D I wanted to give Tadgh his hero moment before this one descends into a departure from the standard User formula. How I cant really say, but it'll work. Hopefully :p

    Haha, it's fitting that Despot sounds like Sam Jackson as he's the one I chose for th
     
  19. Luton_Plunder

    Luton_Plunder Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 15, 2006
    Okay, back again :p

    Chapter Two


    "I am going to count to three, and then I shoot."

    Tadgh watched as Keys held her blaster steady at the forehead of the first of the thugs in line. Their hands and feet were bound at their backs, kneeling in the dusty ground under heavy guard. CorSec hadn't bothered to take them offsite for interrogation - generally, the best information came from those that were still recovering from the residual effects of a stun blast. The current interrogee - a large Shistavanen with one missing eye - scoffed at her.

    "I will say nothing," he growled through bared teeth. Tadgh winced - this wouldn't end well.

    "One," Keys began her count.

    "None of us will," the wolfman continued. "We are a unit."

    "Two," Keys continued, expression unchanged.

    The Shistavanen growled once more. "You think we are intimidated so easily, human? By your weapons and brute force? Always coercion. You fail to understand that there are more important things, more powerful things. We are more powerful than-"

    A loud blast echoed through the room.

    "Three," Keys said retrospectively, watching the talkative thug's limp body thud to the ground. Her blaster had been set to stun, of course - but Tadgh couldn't help but cringe at how lifeless her target looked. A stun blast at point blank range had some nasty side effects. Tomorrow, when this being woke up, it would wish it had talked.

    Keys said nothing as she moved and placed her gun against the head of the next thug in line. A knowing and startled look made its way along the line of captured aliens, coming to realise what was going to happen if they remained as steadfastly silent as their hairy colleague. For all their talk of unity and power, this lot sure scared easily.

    Keys kept her voice unemotional as she uttered the word, "One."

    "Shooting stuff, huh?" a voice said at Tadgh's shoulder.

    He tried his best not to look as startled as he felt as he whipped around and found his brother standing at his shoulder. He was in civilian dress and, to Tadgh's chagrin, was leading his pet droid. How he'd managed to get past Despot and gain access to the scene was a mystery, but his brother had always been good at such things.

    "Taban," he said in greeting, "I'm sorry, I should have sent some protection."

    "Huh?" Taban asked, confused.

    "You were mugged on your way here, weren't you?"

    "What are you talking about?" his brother said, eyebrow raised.

    Tadgh smiled wryly. "Oh, you mean your sleeves weren't stolen? My mistake."

    Taban rolled his eyes and folded his bare arms, perhaps to accentuate them. "Haven't you ever heard the expression 'less is more'? Less sleeves is more awesome. I know these things."

    Despite all he had been through this last month, his brother had not lost a shred of himself. His deep brown eyes were just as vivid as they always were, his thick black hair unruly and plentiful, his general appearance just as outgoing as ever. Such trivial things might not have mattered to other people, and even now Tadgh was not sure why in his brother's case it should be any different. But his unchanged looks seemed to scream 'throw what you will at me - Dark Jedi, murderers, kidnappers. I'm tougher than I seem.'

    Then again, perhaps he was just glad to see him.

    "I defer to your expertise," Tadgh nodded.

    "Damn right you do," Taban said, frowning and looking his brother up and down. "Dark brown shirt and light brown pants? Going to Kashyyk on safari anytime soon?"

    A second loud bang reverberated through the building and the brothers snapped their heads around in time to see the second thug hit the ground. Keys took up a position at the head of the next thug, speaking loudly as she did so. "If I have to go through all of you I will. And then, when you wake up, we'll go through it all again. As long as it takes to get what we need.

    "One." The third gang member looked decidedly nervous as Keys began her countdown once more.

    When he spoke next, Taban's voice was subdued. "What informat
     
  20. Rogue_Pilot_2347

    Rogue_Pilot_2347 Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 16, 2005
    Whoa. Keys is really hardcore. Neat.

    Oh, Tadgh and Taban. I like their interaction. The detail about the nick on the edge of the coin was good. It gave certain proof without making a huge deal about it. "Tadgh, are you sure it was Dad's." "How could it not be?" "Someone might have faked it!" etc.

    This has got to be one of my favorite chapters of all three volumes. I like the mixture of action and conversation. Keep it up!
     
  21. Darth_Manion

    Darth_Manion Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2007
    and now we've got the set-up for a new adventure/quest....thing.

    Feel...anticipation...growing...[face_hypnotized]

    "Shut your hole, spice-head - or I'll vape you into the ground," Tack fired off suddenly.

    Taban looked sheepish. "He's also been watching
    Division 29."

    Cool.:cool: I'd watch that show!
     
  22. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Keys is a great character! :D

    In an instant, Keys spun on the spot and stunned the final three prisoners all at once. "That's it," she declared, "we won't get anything out of them here. Might as well ship them back to HQ."

    Taban leaned in close to Tadgh's ear. "Sometimes," he said, watching as a dozen uniformed CorSec Patrol officers swooped in to clear away the unconscious bodies, "she is really scary."

    Tadgh didn't argue.


    =D=
     
  23. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Ha! Go Keys! Man, you definitely don't want to mess with her!!

    I love, love, LOVE the interaction between the brothers. It is so natural, so inherently comfortable - you have that relationship down perfectly. And Tack was there, once again, to offer some levity to what surely is a weird situation.

    I mean, even though they are keeping things light, it's got to be tough to know they are walking into something that is most likely quite dangerous - and could lead to some answers to some very difficult questions. Namely, what exactly happened to their Jedi father? [face_worried] That's got to have them a bit... apprehensive, you know?

    Anyway, it was truly a brilliant chapter, Luton! You highlighted everything I adore so much about this series. And your PM was hilarious once again. Hee!

    P.S. It looks like I'm back in action (well, as much as DRL will let me). My Dad's surgery went really well, and he is back home and recovering. Thanks again for your patience and for your good wishes. I truly appreciate it!

     
  24. correllian_ale

    correllian_ale Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 2005
    I like Keyes interogation technique!


    Haven't you ever heard the expression 'less is more'? Less sleeves is more awesome. I know these things [face_laugh] (that's an ale-ism if I ever heard one)


    You really are leaving Corellia...[face_thinking]

    The background interogation was a nice touch.

    Three. "So Tadgh, I had waffles for breakfast. Bang.


    "We are is the children and the children are honour the mother and the father! They will not wont have us talking!"

    What cult mumbo-jumbo if I ever heard it. ;)

    =D= =D= =D=



    P.S. - I saw a certain name CCed on the "PM", and the fact that CorSec was present...will we be seeing a familiar name in EU mythology? (mind you, it's not a make or break deal for me, just curious)

     
  25. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Yay, new chapter!

    "Keys is a bit pissed at them," Tadgh felt the need to qualify.

    I'd say this gets the "Understatement of the Year" award. :p Mental note: Never EVER mess with Keys.


    "You guys were thwarted by a postman? At least tell me he was some kind of all-powerful Sith postman,"

    Ha ha, I loved this line! And I must admit my mind went off on a few too many tangents about how cool a character that would be. :p I'm picturing a Sith hiding his abilities and trying to blend in with the "normal" crowd à la The Incredibles.

    I liked the progression of the blaster shots and the brothers' reactions throughout the chapter. It made a nice way to tie both activities together and vary between action and conversation. :D

    The part about Tack watching Division 29 was great too, LOL.

    I'm glad the bros are going into this expecting trouble. Better safe than sorry.

    Great post, and I'm looking forward to the next one! =D= :D

    -Thumper
     
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