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The Versus Game (a.k.a. Who Would Win?, adapted for fanfic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by lazykbys_left, Sep 27, 2007.

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  1. lazykbys_left

    lazykbys_left Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2005
    You've probably seen this game before (e.g., [link=http://boards.theforce.net/a/b1/17756384/]here[/link]), but here are the rules in case you haven't:

    You pick two characters. The next poster says which one of those characters would win in a fight, then picks two characters of his/her own.

    To make this game fanfic-oriented, I have changed the rules as follows:

    You pick two characters. The next poster writes a few paragraphs describing a confrontation between the two, then picks two new characters.

    It doesn't have to be a battle. It can be a friendly game of dominos or an argument about who left the lights on. Not only that, there doesn't have to be a winner.

    For example, let's say we start out with Yoda vs. Darth Maul:

     
  2. Lightsaber123

    Lightsaber123 Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2007
    "The Maker, I must protest!" Wielding a lightsaber is not a part of my programming! The Golden Rod coloured droid said in a prissy voice.

    "Quiet Threepio." I need to practice before I come in front of the council tommorow, and Artoo certainly can't wield it.

    "Beep Deet Dwoo" agreed the said Astromech.

    "You watch your language!" Threepio turned his head contemptously. "I'll have you know that I will be victorious!" With that the droid switched on the practice lightsaber handed to him.

    The instrument hissed and hummed, but before it can do its intended purpose, Threepio all but screamed and dropped the cylinder in a moment of fright. The glowing rod hit his toes and Threepio issued forth a droid version of a blood curdling scream before falling down flat on his back.

    Anakin Skywalker looked down at his earstwhile opponent. "Um, I sort of guess I won, huh Artoo?

    Threepio's counterpart rolled his dome and a mournful "Dwoo" could be heard.

    Next: Serra Keto and Siri Tachi
     
  3. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Pushing off from the wall, Serra strolled over to where her rival, Siri Tachi, was working. "I hear Kenobi is back."

    Siri continued to flow through her kata, ignoring Keto. She'd had enough of her taunts in the last few years. Obi-Wan was a friend, nothing more, no matter how much Keto wanted to imply otherwise.

    "Did you hear me, Tachi? I said?"

    Unsnapping her saber, Siri started to move into Form II. "I heard you. A bantha on Tatooine could hear you."

    "Well, he is your boyfriend." Serra sneered out. "I would have thought?"

    A whirl of lightsaber went past Serra's head and Siri danced past, still flowing through the form. "Knight Keto, you should keep your thoughts to yourself. Along with any suggestion that I have an attachment to Master Kenobi. We are friends, nothing more."

    Serra brought up her own saber and started to sweep the area near Siri's blade. "I heard about your friendship." She laughed and said, "If I had a friend like that, I'd?"

    The blades crossed paths and Siri growled out, "Enough. If you want to fight, let's see what you've got."

    And the battle was on.


    Next: R2 and Yoda


    Is that what you mean, lazy? I did have a problem as I had no idea who Serra Keto was. So I probably got her totally wrong, agewise or personality-wise.
     
  4. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    I think I get this. I hope so anyway because it seems a grand fun idea.

    *****************8


    "Ouch!" Luke yelp as Yoda swatted Luke for what must have been the one hundreth time if it was the tenth. Meditation was proving particularly troublesome over the last few days. His shoulders dropped as he settled on the floor with a heavy sigh.

    "OOoooooo..." R2D2 melwed in sympathetic response to his friend as he rumbled across the uneven floor of the Jedi Master's hovel to Luke's side.

    "Focus you must," the diminutive being rebuked harshly, waving his gnarled walking stick in Luke's face. "Distracted you are. Clear you mind must be to attain deeper connection to the Force..."

    It was with his attention centered on Luke that the great Jedi Master Yoda did not sense the small R2 unit wheel behind him, his mechanical arm extended, an arc of power sizzling at it's end.


    ******************

    Han & Tarkin
     
  5. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    I killed it? :(
     
  6. Jinngerbread

    Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2007
    It's the weekend, Frieda, you didn't kill it ;)
     
  7. lazykbys_left

    lazykbys_left Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2005
    Sorry about neglecting this thread. I can only offer my usual excuse: RL.


    Lightsaber123 - LOL! Loved Threepio's bravado.

    dianethx - Yep, that's exactly what I had in mind. I don't know who Serra is, either, but that didn't stop me from enjoying your post.

    Healer_Leona - [face_laugh] Great to see Yoda get what he deserved. And no, you didn't kill it. Not while I'm around, anyway.




    Solo grinned widely as he said, "I raise you. Five hundred."

    Tarkin looked at his own cards, then at Solo, then at Solo's cards, then back to his own - and frowned. His was not a perfect sabacc face by any definition of the term. But then, a man who practically owned the Outer Rim Territories didn't need skills. He could outlast most of his opponents just by staying in the game until their luck - or rather, their money - ran out.

    But tonight, his usual strategy wasn't working. Either the goddess of fortune was holding Solo's hand, or the smuggler was rigging the cards somehow. Either way, it called for a change in tactics.

    "I see your five hundred," he said, tossing the tokens on the table. Then he smiled the smile that he had perfected over the years, one utterly humorless and filled with cold-blooded menace. And he said, "I raise you a planet."

    "A . . . planet?"

    "Yes. I understand the Princess is in search of a world for her fellow Alderaanians. Fortunately, there are many such worlds available in the Outer Rim."

    Solo frowned. "But you know I don't have the credits to match your raise. I'll have to fold."

    Tarkin let his smile grow a millimeter wider and a few degrees colder. "You don't need credits, Solo. Not between us. What would I do with another planet, after all?"

    "Then what the kriff are you talking about?"

    "Let's say there are certain worlds that are . . . shall we say, stubborn. Unwilling to accept the Empire's New Order. Nal Hutta, for example. Would anyone be inconvenienced if it was removed?"

    Solo's face paled as he began to understand what Tarkin was suggesting. According to his dossier, Solo wasn't quite the hardened a soul he pretended to be. And while he had no love for Hutts, the thought of having the Death Star destroy another world had to be chipping away at him.

    "Nal Hutta, you say?"

    Tarkin nodded. "For starters. Next would be, say, Tatooine."


    [hr]

    next: [b]this thread[/b] and [color=red][b]Healer_[/b][/color] -

    *ducks rotten tomato*

    Er, [b]Qui-Gon Jinn vs. Luke Skywalker[/b]

    - lazy>
     
  8. Ara-gon

    Ara-gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Luke Skywalker ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Sweat ran down his neck and soaked his tunic. He stared at his trembling hands in disbelief?he knew it was from fatigue. He was using the Force to augment his abilities, but his mind and body could be pushed only so far.

    ?Want another round?? The voice was calm and betrayed not even a hint of being tired.

    Another round? Kriff! How many rounds had they already fought? He had forgotten. The rounds melded together in a blur of intent faces and fast-moving hands. How could he possibly face another round?

    He looked at the tall Jedi standing before him. Qui-Gon Jinn. How could he not? This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

    Defiance rose up in him, and he cocked his chin up to reveal it. ?Sure.?

    Qui-Gon smiled. He liked the pluck of this young one, even if it was immoderate. This Skywalker, this son of the Chosen One, was stubborn and tenacious?but not very smart about the battles he chose.

    ?Ready yourself.? Qui-Gon took his stance and brought his empty hands into position.

    Luke did the same. Qui-Gon noticed the slight sway as the young man raised his hands to the level of his elbows.

    ?One. Two. Three.?

    Hands flashed faster than thought.

    ?Owwwwwwwwwwww. Not again!?

    Luke rolled across the floor, howling from disappointment.

    Qui-Gon walked over to him, leaned down, and whispered in his ear. ?Let this be a lesson to you, young one. Never play Rock, Flimsiplast, Shredders with a ghost.?

    _____________

    Ummm. Let's see.

    Jabba v. Jar-Jar
     
  9. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2006
    "Where is my spice from the land of Naboo?" Jabba slobbered over his associate Sio Bibble. "It seems that the Gungan who was selected to bring it to us has gotten into a little bit of trouble," Bibble tried to explain to Jabba.

    "I want his head on a platter now!" Jabba ordered, "Do you comprehend that?"

    "What about the spice?" Bibble inquired. "If he is discovered with it, then we'll just sprinkle it all over his body to give it a little flavor," Jabba answered.

    *****

    Days... months... years... later.... "Jabba, we've found the Gungan who was supposed to supply the spice for the annual Tournament of Spices in the year of the Bantha," Sio Bibble told his wrinkled master. "Really, and how long ago was that?" Jabba fumed, "Because of his tardiness, I had to resort to getting my shipment from a Corellian freighter pilot whose shipment was dumped just because he got a little jumpy at the sight of Imperials."

    "Ah right," Bibble replied, "So, do you still want the Gungan marinated in the spice that he brought and served on a platter then?"

    "Bring him before me," Jabba ordered. Bibble brought a befuddled, pathetic looking creature before his master. "Here he is," Bibble stated, "Jar Jar Binks of Naboo."

    "Well, Binks," Jabba started, "Why are you so late delivering the spice from your homeworld?"

    "Meesa so sorry," Jabba slobbered, "Meesa detains by Ani, then Rebels, then votes for armies, then lacklusters performances, then no screens times, then..."

    "Enough!" Jabba interrupted the gangly Gungan, "Off with his head, I want it sauteed and marinated and served to me on a plate within an hour."

    Sio Bibble and some Gamorrean guards apprehended the Gungan. Unfortunately, he slipped out of their grasp due to already being spiced up. Sio Bibble had no choice but to serve one of Jabba's pet lizards outside the door instead to his master to cover up their incompetence.


    Princess Leia vs. Mara Jade>
     
  10. lazykbys_left

    lazykbys_left Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2005
    Ara-gon - ROFLMAO! I love how seriously you wrote it. The moment of revelation is priceless.

    RX_Sith - Jabba should have known better. He really, really should have. :D

    Thanks for participating, folks!

    - lazy



    "[i]Target[/i]."

    "[i]Torrent[/i]."

    "[i]Teapot[/i]."

    Mara's brows furrowed with suspicion. "[i]Teapot[/i]?"

    "Yes, [i]teapot[/i]," Leia confirmed. "It was used for making tea a long, long time ago. You take some tea leaves and hot water, you see, and -"

    "I'll take your word for it. Okay, how about . . . [i]transparent[/i]."

    "Nice. But that's just begging for - are you ready for this? - [i]translucent[/i]."

    Mara cursed under her breath. "Did we already say [i]tent[/i]?"

    "Yes."

    Mara cursed again, this time in a louder voice. Then a nasty grin appeared on her face as she said, "[i]Tingaret[/i]."

    "[i]Ting[/i] - what? Is that really a word?"

    "Sure it is. Ask Goldenrod."

    Leia cast a questioning glace at Threepio, who explained, "Indeed it is, Mistress Leia. A [i]tingaret[/i] is a small dagger used by the Shri'tri in ritual assassinations. It is usually made of a gold/silver alloy, and -"

    "Thank you, Threepio." She returned her gaze to Mara, who seemed more pleased with herself than she had a right to be. "I thought we were sticking to Basic."

    "Did we agree on that before we started?"

    "No, but -"

    "Then [i]tingaret[/i] is allowed. And it's your turn."

    Leia shot Mara a [i]you're-going-to-regret-this[/i] look. Then, taking a deep breath, said, "[i]Tonroebot[/i]."

    "What?"

    "That would be the modern Telmah term for unofficial suicide," Threepio interjected. "Although Mistress Leia's pronunciation is slightly incorrect. It should be [i]Tonreb'ot[/i]."

    "Oh really," Mara said.

    "Yes, really," Leia replied.

    "In that case: [i]Ti'ppor't[/i]."

    "You made that up."

    "No. I didn't."

    "Then can you say it again?"

    "If you insist. [i]Ti'ppor't[/i]"

    Without taking her eyes off Mara, Leia said, "Threepio?"

    "A rare avian species native to the Lwo'etihw system. I understand it is facing extinction, and that there is a project underway to increase their numbers." Then, as if in afterthought, he added, "It's actually [i]tip'por't[/i], though."

    "Oh."

    Leia gave Mara what could only be called a Look. Mara returned it. She seemed to be saying, [i]There are six million languages in a protocol droid's memory and only so many possible syllable combinations. I'm not backing down. Are you?[/i]


    [hr]

    next: [b]Owen Lars vs. Shmi Skywalker[/b]>
     
  11. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    You must have read my mind lazy, I had cards in mind when I picked Han and Tarkin. :D 'I'll raise you a planet' indeed! o_O


    Ara-gon brilliant!! I love how you mislead us!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]


    "I want his head on a platter now!" Jabba ordered, "Do you comprehend that?"


    I immediately pictured Chef Vader! lol Superb response.
     
  12. lazykbys_left

    lazykbys_left Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2005
    Uppity.

    - lazy



    Shmi found Owen in the garage, using a sonic scrubber on Threepio. Her immediate thought was, [i]Oh, no. Here we go again.[/i]

    "Sand in his circuits?" she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral and failing.

    "Yes," he replied without looking up. He did not add, [i]Again.[/i]

    "Dinner's in ten minutes."

    Owen nodded. "I might be late." He did not add, [i]I wouldn't be if you'd finish this droid's plating.[/i]

    She didn't say, [i]I'm sorry. Ani left him unfinished and I don't have the skills to do it properly.[/i]

    He didn't say, [i]I could do it for you. If you'd let me.[/i]

    She didn't shake her head. [i]You can't find parts for a protocol droid on Tatooine. Not the plating, anyway. Everyone expects you to hammer the dents out.[/i]

    Although there was an extended silence, Owen didn't let out an exasperated sigh to end it. [i]He's not coming back, you know. He's a Jedi now and doesn't have time for people like us.[/i]

    She didn't frown. [i]Ani isn't . . . He has other demands on his time. A Jedi has responsibilities.[/i]

    He didn't spit out, [i]And that excuses him from writing you letters once in a while?[/i]

    "Don't be too long," she said at last.

    "I won't," he promised.


    [hr]

    Next, courtesy of [hl=Green][color=Gold][b]correllian_ale[/b][/color][/hl]'s [link=http://boards.theforce.net/f/b4/27538891/]Fanfic User's Survey[/link]: [b]an Elderly Ewok vs. Jar Jar Binks[/b]
    >
     
  13. darkjedileia

    darkjedileia Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 1, 2007
    Suddenly the gungan looked up spotting a large plate with various types of fruit.

    Mesa is hungry, Isa sure they wont be minden!

    He shoots out his long tounge catching one of the round fruits and hauling it back, then he eats the item.

    Yum! Thisa fruit is so bombad delicious. Mesa wants some more!

    Jar Jar reaches out with his long tounge to grab another piece. But is shocked and surprised when a Ewok jumps out and grabs the fruit, shouting at him in a language he cannot understand. He keeps his tounge wrapped around the fruit refusing to let go.

    "Thisa is my fruit! Mesa no want any trouble with yousa, just let go"

    But the ewok refuses to budge or let go of the fruit, instead he begins pulling and pounding on Jar Jars tounge to try to break the grip. All the while continuing to shout in his native language. This ticks Jar Jar off so he begins pulling as well, the fruit tug-of-war is on!

    It's an even match. Jar Jar pulls trying to free his tounge and bring the fruit to his mouth, but the ewoks grip is strong refusing to yield the fruit. They stare each other down, neither giving an inch.

    "Let go of mesa tounge!"

    But the ewok still wont let go. Jar Jar trys kicking the ewok to knock it away, but it still wont release his tounge, or its hold on the fruit. It even buries its claws into his tounge to hang on.

    "OWWWW Let go! This fruit isa mine you bombad ewok"

    Jar Jar continues pounding on the little thing trying to knock it loose, and the ewok still wont let go. The battle is nearing a close as they both desperately pull at the fruit with all their strength. Suddenly both of them are thrown across the room as they let go of it at the same time. They fly into other people and ewoks, and even destroy a table covered with food.

    Suddenly the fruit rolls over to Chewbacca. He picks it up, wipes it off and then eats it.


    Okay Darth Revan vs Emperor Palpatine
     
  14. 1Yodimus_Prime

    1Yodimus_Prime Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 13, 2004
    "REVAN!" the ancient Sith Lord's voice echoes through the many hallways on that gargantuan battle cruiser.

    "Who seeks me?"

    "It is I, Palpatine, future emperor of the galaxy! I've come from the distant future!"

    Behind his mask, Revan eyes him suspiciously, "Why?"

    "I read about you in a holocron, and what it had to say pissed me off so much, I just had to travel back in time to kick your little pansy 'I use amnesia as an excuse to defect and turn to the light side', sith killing, butt!"

    "But I'm still a Sith Lord! That hasn't even happened yet!"

    "Technology confuses me. It's hard making the machine take me exactly where I want it. It keeps trying to install Holonet Explorer.."

    "Have you tried updating its system prefs?"

    "No, I - the point is, I don't give a crap! You're a pansy traitorous fool, regardless of when you switch sides!"

    "Oh, it's on."

    The two Titans of Dark Energy square off, and in less than an eyeblink, energies and horrible things Nature had never intended are flying this way and that, like a deadly game of extreme volleyball, but with less players. Exactly two seconds goes by.

    Then times seems to stop.

    "What the crap?"

    "The turn's up, choose your next attack old man, and prepare to die."

    "But, you're right next to me. What am I choosing, I just want to electricute you and dump your lifeless body into space! Is that so much to ask?"

    "Just make a decision, I've already chosen mine and I'm getting bored here."

    "But I don't even know what any of these things do! Can 'lightsaber throw' even apply? I didn't bring one! And what's this 'force points' stuff?! Should I be worried about that?"

    "JUST. PICK. AN ATTACK."

    "OKAY!"

    Another eyeblink. Revan goes all out...but Palpatine isn't there! Five feet away, Palpatine blasts lightning at a mousdroid, annihilating it.

    "What the hell are you doing?!"

    "It said to pick a target, and it defaulted to here! I don't know!"

    "Forget this, I'm running away. You're the fool here, Palpatine."

    " 'running away'? You walked ten feet! HEY, why can't I shoot you with lightning anymore?"

    "Because I quit fighting you, idiot. You want to say something to me, say it now."

    "I sure DO, I - "

    pleasse choose one:
    [blockquote]- "Why don't you explain more of your past to me?"
    - "Tell me more about how fighting works"
    - "Forget this, it's too much work. I'm going home."[/blockquote]
    "..."

    WINNER: Turn-Based Strategy!


    ------


    pre-CGI TPM Yoda <VS> ESB Yoda
    BATTLE OF OLDNESS!


     
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