Saga The Very Secret Diary of Darth Vader (Dear Diary Challenge) - humor - Reposted together!!

Author: NYCitygurl
Title: The Very Secret Diary of Darth Vader
Timeframe: ROTS-ROTJ
Genre: humor
Summary Darth Vader keeps a diary
Notes: Part of the [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/29588737/p1/?69]Dear Diary Challenge[/link]. Written in the style of the [link=http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/]Very Secret Diaries[/link] (WARNING: Link contains language and content - slash innuendo - not appropriate for the JC, so tread with caution.). Alexis said I could do the diary like this.
Notes v2.0: The entries are short (VSD-style) but I've written all fifty-two entries, so now all I have to do is update every week for a year


The Very Secret Diary of Darth Vader


Entry One

Number of Jedi killed: 35
Mostly younglings at the Temple, but they count as whole, not half.

Decided to join the Emperor. The Jedi were holding me back. Maybe this way I reach my full potential and rule the galaxy and also achieve the perfect intimidating glare.

 

Even though it's kind of morbid, I had to laugh:

Mostly younglings at the Temple, but they count as whole, not half.

You go, Vader! Work on that intimidating glare.

PM list please?

 

PM please.

I'm also with Ceilean - somewhat morbid, but hilarious that he points out that younglings still count as a whole, not a half.

And given the nature of the LOTR ones, I'm guessing this will get rather entertaining rather quickly!

 

ROFLOL! That was hilarious, Nat!

Awesome job!
I can't believe you've written the whole thing already! That deserves a standing ovation!

I can't wait for more!
If you are doing PMs would you add me to your list, please?

 

Loved Vader's insistence younglings counted as a whole, not half.

Maybe this way I reach my full potential and rule the galaxy and also achieve the perfect intimidating glare.

But how will you know under that mask?

I can tell I'm going to enjoy this!

 

I didn't know the very secret diaries, but this looks like a lot of fun!

Please pm me as well.

 

funny
pm me when you update please

 

Would love PMs when you update, Nat.

 

twisted yet funny, PM list please

 

lol great start! Can't wait to see more.

 

If you're starting a pm list add me! This is going to be a wild ride!

 

Work on that glare; your daughter already has it, I believe someone named it the OGOD, Organa Glare Of Death!

If you have PM notification, please put me on the list.

 

!

PM me Nat!

 

Connie: Well, this is supposed to be funny, after all And he will be

TMJ: Well, it improves the stats on his list I hope so!

Connie: Thanks!!

mav: Thanks!! Glad you?re enjoying it And wow, thanks for the standing ovation! Though really, it only took two or three hours, since the entries are so short.

Kelia: It?ll be so intimidating, you?ll be able to feel it through the mask Thanks!!

Seremela: Thanks!! You should just them out; they?re hilarious.

Darthrevan4ever: Thanks!!

Daena: Glad you?re enjoying it

CLP_Macja: Thanks!!

MeleanaKenobi: Thanks!!

Anduli_Vader: Yes it is

dm1: OGD, I like that Well, she had to inherit it from somewhere!

ale: Glad you?re enjoying it


Thanks for the replies, everyone!! Of course I'll start a PM list List as follows (let me know if you want on or off):

Ceillean
The Musical Jedi
Jag4Me
Mavjade
Seremela
Darthrevan4ever
DaenaBenjen42
CPL_Macja
Anduli_Vader
dm1
Corellian_Ale



Entry Two

Went to Mustafar to kill some more people, but ended up killing my wife (oops) and taking a nice lava bath, courtesy of Obi-Wan. It hurt. Like, really hurt.

But this encased in black armor thing might work to my advantage. It can be very intimidating. Also, have now got several extra inches of height.

 

Hilarious Nat!!

...but ended up killing my wife (oops) and taking a nice lava bath
I loved the "oops" it really added to this and made me laugh really hard!

I can already tell this is going to be something I'm going to come back and read when I'm having a bad day and need a good laugh!

I can't wait for the next entry!

Great job!

Thanks for the PM!

 

This is striking me as Robot Chicken's deleted scenes!

 

but ended up killing my wife (oops) and taking a nice lava bath,

Again, morbidly funny.

Also, have now got several extra inches of height.


You go, Vader! You big boy.

Funnnnny!

 

Awesome entry, Nat.

Also, have now got several extra inches of height.

He found a positive in the middle of all that...

 

Oh this is gunna be good! You had me at the inch part?! Bit of a double meaning there?

Must Pm!

 

That height thing - pretty important when one is in the intimidating business! Poor Padme - but at least she got a nod.

 

Oops?!?

 

Love how you have made all of his kills seem so non-shalaunt.

I am just wondering what his kill count is up to, seeing as younglings counted as a whole kill and not a half. Are politicians worth the same value or are they a fraction since they tend to use their tongues as weapons instead of blasters and lightsabers?

 

So morbid, but so funny!

The lava bath part killed me.

Please add me to your PM list.