Title: The Wedding Author: divapilot Genre: humor Characters: Jyn Erso, Bodhi Rook, Cassian Andor, OCs Timeline: Saga AU, post-R1 & ANH Notes: 1. Written for the Mod’s Time Trials Challenge. I was given 72 hours to write a story that contains the eight prompts listed under the spoiler. 2. In this AU, Bodhi, Jyn and Cassian survived the events of Rogue One. Jyn and Cassian are married and I will sail that ship until I die. Spoiler: prompts 1. Your random element is: a Left Turn 2. Your random word is: Kerfuffle - def: a disturbance; fuss. 3. Your forecast is: Blizzard 4. Your recycled challenge quote is: "I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Winston Churchill from the Funny Quote Challenge 5. Your TV Trope is: Fake Marriage 6. Reaction Gif: 7. Your artwork is: Ophelia - Konstantin Makovsky 8. Your picture prompt is: (Original Link:https://pixabay.com/illustrations/bottles-empty-glass-container-392689/) *** Cassian Andor glared at Bodhi, then lowered his face into his raised his hand in disbelief. “What do you mean, you lost our ship?” Bodhi glanced nervously at Jyn, whose impassive expression granted him no reprieve, and then back at Cassian. “I couldn’t help it!” he pleaded. “All the ships are being impounded due to the weather!” He gestured toward the wall, as if they could see the storm battering the other side of the structure. “As long as this blizzard is going on, they’re not letting anyone land or take off. Besides, I thought you said not to make a scene. What was I supposed to do, argue with the dock authorities?” Their contact, a local woman named Sontya, shrugged. “He’s right, you know. Holdist has some pretty strict rules when it comes to travelling in bad weather. If Bodhi had given them a hard time, it would have drawn everyone’s attention - and you don’t want imperial attention. The imperials are in the same predicament. They’re stuck here along with us for the duration of the storm.” Jyn uncrossed her arms and came over to sit at the table next to Cassian. “How long do you think we’ll be here?” she asked Sontya. The redhead paused. “This is a pretty significant storm, but it should clear out in a couple of weeks or so.” “A couple of weeks?” Cassian threw up his hands in frustration. Sontya offered a smile. “Well, if you had to be stuck here, at least you picked a good season. Our Fertility Festival happens once a year, during the Great Snows, and it looks like you managed to be here just in time.” “Fertility Festival?” Jyn frowned dubiously. “Do I want to know?” “Here in Holdist, we don’t have specific dates for our major social events. They’re based on the weather. The Fertility Festival, or what you might call the wedding season, happens when the Great Snow occurs. And it just so happens that this storm qualifies as the Great Snow. In fact, tomorrow is the Gathering. That’s where unmarried people mingle to see if they can find a potential spouse.” Sontya tilted her head. “You should come to it. First of all, you don’t have anything better to do. Secondly, not going will mark you immediately as a foreigner, which might make the imperials suspicious.” She smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I can get you local clothing. You’ll blend right in. Everything will be fine.” “If everyone is there, then the dock master will be there, too,” Bodhi reasoned. “Maybe I can use the celebration to find out where our ship’s being held.” Cassian and Jyn exchanged glances. He rubbed his chin as the plan began to form, then turned to Jyn. “What do you think?” “I think we’re going to a wedding, sweetheart,” Jyn answered dryly. *** The next night, the four made their way through underground tunnels to the center hall of the city of Holdist, where the Gathering was held. Sonyta had acquired the proper local clothes: long white dresses for herself and Jyn, and white tunics and loose trousers for the men. Jyn, unused to such delicate clothing, fussed with the gauzy folds of the gown, to Sontya’s consternation. “You’re supposed to be a local,” she hissed at Jyn. “Act like a lady.” Jyn scowled. “There’s not even any place for a weapon here.” “You’re going to a wedding. Why would you need a weapon?” Cassian snorted. “Clearly you’ve never been to Corellia.” The sound of celebrations grew louder as they approached the entrance. Sontya turned to the trio. “Follow my lead. Things can get … rowdy.” She pushed open the door. A swell of noise - music, laughter and the din of feasting -- assailed them. Imperial soldiers mixed in with brightly dressed locals. The huge hall was decorated with banners, and a band played loudly in the corner. Amidst all the food and refreshments, one table was laden with fresh flowers. “How did they get flowers in the middle of winter?” Bodhi asked as they approached the table. “They grow them in hot houses, specifically for this event.” Sontya brought them to the table and took some of the flowers off the table. She set one bloom into her hair and put another in Jyn’s hair. She handed two other flowers to Bodhi and Cassian. “The flowers in your hair means you’re an available woman. For men, place it in your scarf.” Jyn glanced at Cassian. “What if I don’t want to be available?” Sontya glared at her. “Yes, you do. If you’re not available, then you don’t have any reason to mingle. Only available people can walk around; everyone with a spouse is already seated, watching the event. If you aren’t mingling, you won’t find the dock master.” She watched as Cassian and Bodhi each reluctantly placed a bloom on their scarves. “When someone is interested in you, they will give you their flower. Jyn, you put any flowers you get in the apron of your gown. Bodhi and Cassian, you put yours in the folds of your scarves.” She smiled cheerfully. “Now let’s find our wedding mates.” “I promise not to get jealous,” Cassian said, laughing, in response to Jyn’s look of distaste. He straightened up and surveyed the hall, narrowing his eyes at the small groups of imperial soldiers who wandered about. “We’ll split up,” he said, lowering his voice. “Bodhi and I will talk to the people in the front of the room.” Jyn nodded, and the two men disappeared into the boisterous crowd. It didn’t take long before a large, inebriated man fixated on the two women. “What have we here?” he bellowed as he staggered toward Jyn and Sontya. He took a long gulp of a bottle of wine, then threw the bottle into a vat of melted snow where it bobbed in the water with other emptied wine bottles. “I don’t believe I’ve made the pleasure of your acquaintance.” Sontya took the lead. “I’m Sontya, from the northern regions. This is my sister Jynna. We’re visiting.” “I’m Serge.” Serge leaned in and Jyn could smell the sharp scent of the local liquor on his breath. “And you--” he said, pointing at Jyn, “You are gorgeous.” Jyn stared at him, open mouthed. “She’s shy. This is very new to her,” Sontya said, before Jyn had a chance to speak. “You’re lucky to have met someone as important as me at your first Gathering, Jynna. I’m the docking master of this entire community.” He shoved a thumb into his chest proudly. Serge leaned closer, eyeing Jyn’s kyber necklace. “So pretty,” he slurred. “Just like you.” Serge raised his hand to touch the necklace but Jyn pulled away. “Aw, I like you, Jynna. I like you lots.” His reddened face burst into a wide grin. “In fact, I claim you!” “I don’t want--” Jyn started, but Sontya interrupted. “She doesn’t want anyone but you, either!” Sontya said, pulling a flower from Jyn’s hair and shoving it into Serge’s paw-like hand. With a clumsy tug, Serge untied his scarf. A dozen flowers fell to the ground, and he quickly scooped them up and thrust them at Jyn. “These are yours!” he announced. A nearby Imperial officer idly began to watch the scene unfold. Sontya nudged Jyn sharply and Jyn reluctantly took the flowers from the drunken dockmaster, then Sontya motioned for her to place the flowers in her gathered-up apron. Serge beamed. “That’s wonderful! The wedding is tomorrow night!” He winked at her. “Then, the honeymoon!” Jyn began to say something but Sontya silenced her. “My sister is so happy!” Sontya said. “She’s speechless with joy!” Serge made an exaggerated bow, then leaned close to Jyn’s ear. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the Fertility Festival, wife-to-be!” Then, satisfied with his choice, he turned away. Jyn watched him stagger off to a table of friends, who raised their bottles in inebriated celebration of Serge’s good fortune. She turned to Sontya, the apron of her gown still loaded with Serge’s gift of flowers. Jyn tilted her head and rolled her eyes. “Great. I’m engaged. Wait ‘till I tell Cassian.” Sontya grabbed her arm and pushed her through the crowd, toward a comparatively quiet corner of the hall. “He’s the dock master. He’s our best chance of getting your ship released.” She looked at Jyn’s disbelieving expression and let out a breath. “Don’t worry. We’ll think of something. We’ll make this work.” *** “This is never going to work.” Bodhi squirmed in front of the mirror. “Look,” Cassian said, suppressing a grin. “This is the best idea we can come up with in so short a time. If you can manage to get the control datapad from the dock master, we're out of here.” Cassian shrugged. “Besides, I’m too tall for Serge to believe I’m Jyn, Sontya needs to be our guide for this, and there is no way I trust Jyn not to just put Serge in intensive care.” Sontya approached them, a veil in her hands. “Let’s try this.” She placed the veil over Bodhi’s head, adjusting the heavy fabric so that it obscured his face. She stepped back and sighed. “Well, at least there’s no way anyone can see who you are.” “And there’s no way I can see anything at all,” Bodhi muttered. Jyn came over to the heavily veiled man and patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Here,” she said, taking her kyber crystal necklace off. She placed the necklace over Bodhi’s head and it lay on his chest, just under the lower edge of the heavy veil. “He’ll remember seeing this necklace. Now you have proof that you’re me.” “This veil is making my beard itchy.” Bodhi tugged on the thick folds of the wedding gown. “And what if it doesn’t work?” “You’ll still be a beautiful bride,” Cassian said, finally letting the laughter out. “Stop it. You aren’t helping.” Sontya took Bodhi by the arm and guided him toward the door. “Come on, Bodhi. Remember, you’re a blushing bride, you’re going to meet your husband, and the Maker willing, we’ll pull this off.” “But I don’t want to meet my husband. I’m not ready for any spouse at all. However, given all this—“ Bodhi tugged desperately at the gown and his muffled voice came from under the heavy veil. “I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” *** Cassian and Jyn slipped into the back of the wedding hall, one of a series of smaller halls attached to the much larger community hall where the Gathering had taken place the night before. Like the other wedding guests, they each carried a large, sturdy gift bag decorated with wedding symbols. In front of them, a crowd of revelers sang and shouted encouragement to a huge man dressed in formal wedding attire. Serge laughed with his friends, who slapped his back in congratulations. Tables of meats and bread lined the walls, and the clinking of drinking goblets chimed in with the sound of bright music. Jyn leaned toward Cassian. “The storm hasn’t let up. Even if Bodhi gets the datapad, can we get out of here?” “Bodhi is the best pilot I’ve ever seen. He can fly in any kind of weather,” Cassian assured her. Her response was interrupted by a kerfuffle near the entrance at the side of the hall. Serge turned to the sound of the commotion and placed a wide grin on his face as he saw the entrance of the bride and her sister. “Welcome, Sister Sontya! And welcome to you, my soon-to-be-wife Jynna!” he roared. He paused, and his voice softened. “Huh. I know I was celebrating last night, but I honestly I don’t remember you being so...hefty.” He laughed. “That’s okay. A giant of a man like me is fine with a big girl.” “Oh, Jyn is as petite as you remember. But she’s shy,” Sontya explained with a reassuring nod, “so she has covered her delicate feminine features with all these modest layers of clothing. But you can see she is wearing the necklace you admired so much, and her flower crown is made of those same beautiful blooms you gave her last night.” Serge seemed somewhat reassured. “Before we begin with the ceremony, we will share our first meal together.” He gestured to a small table set for two. “Wait.” Sontya stepped forward. “My sister wants evidence that you are, in fact, the powerful member of society that you claim to be. She is, after all, a newcomer to Holdist.” Serge stopped for a moment. “What evidence would you like?” Sontya placed her finger on her chin and tapped it as if deep in thought. “Is there some object that identifies you as a dock master?” Serge walked over to his friends’ table and was lost in discussion for a moment, then he came back. He beamed as he placed three objects on the smaller table he had gestured towards a moment earlier. “Here is my badge of office, my dock master’s datapad, and my master key to all of the docks.” Sontya leaned in toward her “sister” and conferred with Bodhi. Then the taller, swathed figure nodded. “Jynna accepts your evidence. Let the first wedding meal begin!” Satisfied, Serge sat down at the small table, his huge frame taking up most of the room. Bodhi squeezed into the seat next to him. A server brought a tray of fragrant spiced meat to the table and presented it to them. Serge grabbed a piece of meat for himself, and Bodhi’s hand reached out from beneath the heavy folds to take another. Serge stared at the exposed hand and forearm. “What is this?” Serge asked his companion. “I don’t remember your hands being so big, or your arm so hairy.” Sontya, standing behind the couple, spoke up quickly. “Well, in the north, women grow heavy hair to keep warm. Jynna was so excited to be your bride that she forgot to use a depilatory this morning.” Sontya smiled at the veiled figure, who nodded vigorously. Serge frowned. “Perhaps I’d like Jynna to say so herself.” Bodhi cleared his throat and affected the highest pitched voice he could. “Yes,” he squeaked. “I’ve never been so happy.” Serge turned to Sontya. “Why is her voice deeper than I remember?” “Oh, Jynna was so happy that she was up all night chattering about you. Her voice is hoarse from lack of sleep,” Sontya offered. Before Serge could ask anything more, the lights went out and total darkness filled the hall. Bodhi took the opportunity of the sudden darkness to sweep the dockmaster’s datapad, badge and master key off the table and into his lap, then he tore the heavy veil off of his head. Sontya grabbed his hand and they ran to the side exit. In the back of the hall, Cassian stood in front of the lighting controls as Jyn swifty struck down anyone who approached them with her baton. Cassian pulled a smoke grenade from his wedding gift bag and rolled it toward the middle of the hall. In the explosion that followed, the two made their escape. Sontya and Bodhi met up with Jyn and Cassian in the adjacent hallway. Bodhi struggled to free himself of the heavy gown as they took a left turn toward the corridor which led to the docking bays, leaving the garment in a heap on the stone floor. As they approached the more heavily populated area, they slowed down to blend into the rest of the pedestrians. They eventually found themselves in a loft overlooking the docks. “Where's our ship?” Cassian asked, tilting his head toward Bodhi. Bodhi scrolled through the dock master’s datapad. “Wait a minute. Ah, found it. Docking bay 71.” He switched over to the master key device and entered some numbers. “There we go. I’ve unlocked it and I’m remotely priming it now. It’s freed and it will be ready to take off as soon as we get there.” Jyn squeezed his arm. “You did it. I knew you could.” Sontya sighed in relief. “This is where I leave you, then. Good luck.” Cassian put his arm around Jyn’s waist and turned to face Sontya. “We couldn’t have completed this mission without you. Thank you for everything you did.” “We have to go,” Bodhi reminded them. Cassian nodded, and they turned to go to the docking bay. *** Two hours and a jump through hyperspace later, Cassian sat in the co-pilot’s seat beside Bodhi. “We’re going to have to make a full report to Mon Motha,” Cassian said. “A full report?” Bodhi cast an anxious glance at Cassian. “Even my disguise?” “Yup. Every detail.” Jyn came up from behind them and leaned on the back of Cassian’s seat. “Oh, I think we can leave a few details out,” she suggested. Cassian smirked. “I have never turned in less than a 100 percent, thorough report.” Jyn trailed her fingers through her husband’s thick dark hair. “Maybe this time we can omit some details. Think about it. There’s still a Fertility Festival to celebrate, or we can sleep in separate bunks tonight. Your choice.” She raised an eyebrow and walked back to the rear of the ship. Cassian considered her words as he stared into the viewscreen. “Come to think of it, I can probably leave some details out,” he finally admitted. He sat still for a moment, then suddenly got up and followed Jyn. Bodhi waited until Cassian was gone before he smiled to himself. “Maybe it works for you, my friends, but nope, no more weddings for me,” he muttered. Spoiler: author’s note This story is inspired by the Norse myth of how Thor retrieved his hammer from the giants by pretending to be the goddess Freya. You can read the myth here.