Story [The West Wing] All We Have (Josh/Sam AU)

Title: All We Have
Author: Briannakin
Timeframe: Alternate Universe During Original Series
Characters: Josh/Sam, and other usual suspects.
Notes: The prologue was originally part of a vignette called “Hospital Walls and Airports”, but I decided to turn it into a long-fic, so if you have already read that vignette, chapter 1 is new material. I decided to play around with rotating POV’s in this.



“The truth is, airports have seen more sincere kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more sincere prayers than churches.”


Prologue - Sam’s POV


“Josh! Josh!” I am fully aware that panic begins to rise in my voice as I call for my boyfriend. We swore we wouldn’t think of each-other as such during work hours. It helps kept the truth quiet and hidden, not that either of us want to, but we are realists and we are professionals. Plus Josh is technically my superior and that is just going to lead to a HR nightmare, never-mind a political mess. But I feel my walls crumbing every second that Josh wasn’t accounted for in this mayhem and madness. People have been shot! CJ is convinced the President is dead.


Josh might be dead.


Oh… oh God.


“Joshua!” I shout louder. I just want Josh to come up behind me and yell at me. My search is now joined by Toby.


“Sam, he got in the car with Leo,” Charlie says as he rushes by. I am momentarily relieved, until….


“No, he didn’t,” Toby insists. “Shanahan got in with Leo. Josh didn’t get in the car.”


Fear bubbles up in me. “Josh!” Desperation leaks into my voice.


Toby and I search in different directions, then I hear Toby yell. “Doctor! I need help.” And I just know. It’s my Joshua.


My black shoes pound the pavement; I rounded a corner and saw the love of my life lying limp in Toby’s arms. Josh’s hands are bloody and clutching at his lower chest. He’s been shot. His eyes are glazed over, but still there… still fighting. I instantly kneel at Josh’s side, my hands intertwining with his and pressing hard. They are wet and now mine are too. We are trying to keep him together.


“I’m here. I’m here, Love. You’re going to be okay.”


There is a flicker in his eyes of love and fear.


* * *


I don’t bother holding myself together. Josh is broken and I am too. My leg is bouncing and I am about ready to start rocking back and forth. We made it into an ambulance and to the hospital. He was murmuring something about meetings and it scared me so much. I’m still so scared.


Josh is in his 4th hour of surgery. It doesn’t look good, but I’m just thankful I’m getting updates. I’m here in a relatively small waiting room with the First Lady, Zoey, Toby, and Donna. Everyone else is back at the White House. The President has been shot. He’s going to be okay but there’s probably a million things that need to be done. I should be helping but all I can think about is my Josh and us and how I have no rights. They are giving the First Lady updates on both her husband and Josh because she asked for them. Josh and I have been dating for two years now, and I know I have no rights to make decisions over Josh’s medical care and right now that is scaring me so much. Am I even going to be able to even see Josh after the surgery?


I’m mad at the system which I work for. I’m mad that the First Lady got to talk to her stable husband before he got wheeled into surgery. Most of all I’m mad at Josh for getting shot.


“Sam?” Toby repeats for the fifth time. I finally look up to see Toby framed by the waiting room. “I have to go back to the White House… help CJ with the press. You should go back to your apartment, get a change of clothes and some rest.” My suite is wrinkled and bloody.


I shake my head as I bluntly say, “I live with Josh.” I can’t go back to our apartment. Just this morning he was running around with a towel around his waist, complaining that his bathrobe was dirty and he was cold. I kept reminding him that we do have a machine that would fix that called a washing machine. He growled at me for being sarcastic and I eventually gave him my bathrobe and walked away from him naked. He then discarded both and… well… we ended up both being late for work, but he got warmed up. The towel and bathrobe are probably still in the middle of the kitchen floor. Who am I kidding? I didn’t pick them up and I know Josh didn’t.


“I know,” Toby gently says.


“No, we aren’t roommates.” That was the stretched truth we told everyone. “We’re dating.” If Josh survives, Josh is going to kill me. “I love him.”


The room is silent as I’m still shaking. I am going to lose my boyfriend and my job in the same night. But I’m not taking my words back. I love Josh and the whole world is going to know it. Mostly because Josh isn’t here to shut me up.


After a moment, the First Lady gets up from her seat, her movements stiff and weary, and sits down on the chair next to me. She places her hand on mine. “We know.”


I’m not a religious person, neither is Josh, but I ask her, “Can you help me pray?”


She nodded. “Let’s pray for health and strength for our boyfriends.”


I love that. Even after all these years married, she still thinks of her husband as her boyfriend. I want that.


* * *


I’m not sure how many hours - or days, probably days going by the stubble on both Josh and my faces - it is later. The doctors let me into Josh’s room right after his surgery. He was hooked up to so many machines. But he’s off the ventilator now, which means I can kiss him if I want. I am just sitting next to him, holding his hand and stroking his hair, because it is all I can bring myself to do. If he wants a kiss, he can wake up.


Oh, who am I kidding? I lean forward and place a soft kiss on his lips.


Donna brought me a change of clothes - she grabbed one of Josh’s sweatshirts, I know because the sleeves are too short, but I love it - and she keeps bringing me food and coffee. I eat, only because the First Lady tells me to. Mrs. Bartlet is now my boss and I owe her so much. Before I could get fired by Leo, she offered me a job as First Lady’s Chief of Staff (I may have scared off Lily Mays, but Leo told me to!), so I accepted. Mostly because I know I can’t work for Josh anymore (quite frankly, even after Josh gets better, I don’t think I’ll be able to be in the same room with him without having my hands on him, and I know - no matter what sexuality orientation - that isn’t appropriate for the work place). But she’s also going to want to take care of the President for the next few weeks so I am going to have time to take care of Josh.


The door opens and breaks me out of my thoughts. I stand up. It’s just an automatic thing when the President enters a room. Leo is helping him, but he’s looking great.


“Sam, I heard my wife stole you from me.” Both he and Leo smile warmly.


I begin rambling, not totally sure what they know. “I’m sorry, Sir. I promise this won’t become public. This won’t be a headache. Just don’t fire Josh.” I still don’t care if Josh doesn’t want people to know we are a couple, but he’s the idiot who got shot, so he doesn’t get a say. I tightly hold onto his hand.


“I hope you are apologizing for lying, because that is the only thing we are upset about.” Leo is so calm as he reaches and holds Josh’s other hand.


“Might be the only thing your upset about, but I’m still pissed I got shot, my deputy chief of staff got shot, and my wife stole the best damn speechwriter before the first midterms.”


I, for some reason, smile at the President’s words and not for the compliment. “Thank you, sir.”


Josh’s doctors then enters and within a few minutes Josh is rousing.


“Josh, I want you to wake up, Josh,” the doctor is saying.


Josh grunts. It’s promising sign.


“Love?” I gently cup his cheek.


“Sammy… Sweetie?”


I try not to laugh. He’s drugged out of his mind and I’m just relieved he’s okay and he’s talking. “I’m here. I’m here.”


Josh finally opens his eyes, sees the President and Leo, hesitates for a moment, then just glares at me. He’s annoyed.


But I just kiss him and ask Bartlet, “What’s next?”

 

Chapter 1

“Excuse me,” a nurse entered with a new IV bag for Josh. “Visiting hours ended at 8.” She looked pointedly at Sam who was sitting at Josh’s side, holding his hand, reading a Benjamin Franklin biography. Josh was lying in the hospital bed, so very bored. Sam finally allowed Josh to watch TV on the condition that it stayed on either Home and Garden TV or ESPN. Josh had chosen ESPN but he was now watching highlights from a basketball game that he had just seen and had been about to fall asleep. Josh was still in a thin hospital gown. Sam was in one of Josh’s hoodies and a pair of jeans.



“Oh,” Sam said, caught off guard sitting up and putting his book down. No one had really bothered him about staying with Josh the past few nights, but Josh had also been in the room next to the President and Sam was sure Bartlet had broken all sorts of hospital practices and had occupied many of the nurses’ attention. But the President had been discharged today. Sam was about to respectfully speak to the nurse in the hall when he saw Josh work his jaw. Josh was now out of the closet, bored, and aching for a fight.



“No.” Josh maintained his grip on Sam’s hand. “He can stay. He’s not a visitor.”



“Mr. Lyman, only spouses can stay past visiting hours.”



“We’ve lived together for over 18 months and yesterday we filed for a domestic partnership in DC. He’s my spouse. We are lawyers and we work for the President and First Lady. If you kick him out, it’s going to upset me and then Sam’ll sue your asses off.”



The nurse shifted uncomfortably. She looked at Sam. “Let him rest.”



Sam looked at her, openly miffed, before picking his book back up.



After the nurse left, Josh squeezed Sam’s fingertips. “You should go home, Sam. Get some rest.”



“What? You just said -”



“I said if they kick you out I’ll be upset. I’m kicking you out.”



“That makes no sense.”



“You need rest. Go home. Take a shower. Get some sleep. Shave for god’s sake.”



“You need a shave,” Sam said, leaning forward to kiss Josh’s stubbly cheek. Sam had gone back to their apartment a few times since Josh had woken up from surgery to shower, shave, clean up and eat, but never for more than an hour or so and never to sleep away from Josh’s side. Sam didn’t know if he’d be able to do it.



“Then you can bring me my electric razor when you come back in the morning.”



Sam sighed, slipping his arm behind Josh’s shoulders and wrapping his other arm around Josh’s stomach.



Josh ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. “I want to go home too,” Josh murmured. “I want to be in bed with you.”



Sam’s lips got close to Josh’s - just barely touching as Sam said, “Just another week or so and we can go home together.”



“Exactly.” Josh quickly kissed Sam’s lips. “So go home, enjoy having the bed to yourself and I’ll be home soon enough.”



“Okay,” Sam finally resigned. “I think I might run by the White House tomorrow morning. See if I’m supposed to be doing anything.”



“You wanna run by my office and -.”



“No. The only thing I am bringing you from your office is a huge binder to hit you upside the head with.”



“Fine, fine,” Josh grumbled. “You really want me to die of boredom.”



“Preferably, since I figure it will take forty or fifty years. I plan on making you die a slow death.” Sam then took Josh’s hand, squeezing his fingers. “And I’m going to be here every day.”



“Well start tomorrow.”



“Fine, fine,” Sam grumbled, mocking Josh. Sam got up. “If you need me back before the morning, just get-”



“Yes! I will. Just go home!”



“Fine, Mr. Pushy-pants.”



“I’m not wearing any pants. I kinda wish you weren’t either.”



Sam rolled his eyes and kissed Josh once again. “Good night Josh. I love you.”



“Love you too.” As Sam was leaving Josh asked. “Hey Sam, where’s the remote?”



“Oh,” Sam said, looking up at the TV. “Do you want the TV on or off for the night?”



“I want the remote.”



“You’re kicking me out so you’re not getting the remote. Do you think you’ll sleep with the TV on?”



Josh sighed. “If I don’t, I’ll just sleep tomorrow. I’m not going to be doing much anyways.”



“I love you, Josh.”



“Yeah, yeah,” Josh muttered.

 

Yaaaayyy!!! I'm so glad you are continuing this!! I love how you write Josh/Sam!
You already know I love the Prologue, and I loved it just as much the second time! Sam is so worried and you can really feel it. Even though I know Josh is going to live, and I know that the President isn't going to be mad, I'm still scared for them both.

This just perfectly sums up Josh and Sam! Josh is always looking for a fight, it's where he does his best work. Sam, while he will fight, tries diplomacy first. He knows he's got a fine line to walk here, they could always kick him out permanently, but Josh isn't going to stand for any of it.

Bahaha... again, this is so Josh! But it also shows Josh's sweeter side. He wants Sam to go home and get some real rest instead of trying to sleep in a chair. The character of Josh could easily slip into self-centered (especially when he's bored) but he usually doesn't. You really show that here and I love it!

This is such a truth, I feel like. When you are used to sleeping with someone, it's nice to have the bed to yourself, but at the same time you miss the other person being there.
This is something I see all the time, people wanting to stay at the hospital even after their loved one is out of danger, and all it (usually) serves is to exhaust the family member. Josh is right, Sam needs to go home, sleep in a real bed, eat, take a shower, and relax. He won't do Josh any good if he's exhausted.

Oh Josh, you think you are so slick, but Sam has your number! But it's so cute!

I love how this is reminiscent of what we saw, Josh wanting work and not being allowed to have it, but with a Sam/Josh twist!
I can't wait to read more!!