Saga This is Not Our Fate (post-ROTS, Barriss, Cody, Ahsoka, Ensemble, OC's) 12/17 Complete

I loved how Suisen is working hard at getting Barriss to open up, live, and think about her situation. I'm glad that they opened up enough to talk about trusting the clones. I felt kind of bad for Barriss; Suisen took away her security blankets all at once with the hair and the clothes, and I don't know if she was quite ready. I'm glad she's moving in that direction though. And yay for libraries!!! Fantastic update as always. I loved the little interaction between Barriss and one of the clones at the end--I wouldn't be opposed to a little romantic interlude between the 2!

 

Padawan4687: Glad you liked it. And the answer is Sherlock Holmes.

Valiowk: Romantic relationship? Now whatever could have given you that idea...?

anakinfan: Yep, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes - specifically A Study in Scarlet and The Sign of Four. Yeah, I gave Suisen the best job ever, didn't I?

darth_treyvah: We do seem to get such a brief glimpse of the Jedi and clones interacting in the films, and it's one of the things I like about the animated series, giving some time to flesh out those kinds of relationships. Unfortunately, the side effect is that you come to like the clones, and it makes it harder to understand how they could all turn on the Jedi so easily.

Luna_Nightshade: Suisen seemed like a good choice to prod Barriss into opening up a little bit. She probably did move a little faster than necessary to remove Barriss' security blankets, but it needed to be done.

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Chapter 6. The Quiet Existence of the Everyday



It was a good day to be outside.

The air was clear and crisp, as it always was on Alderaan. The clouds were steel grey and the wind brisk, the temperature low, but not quite low enough to cause puffs of vapor to form when breathing. The surface of Rex?s mug of caf, though, was steaming steadily, and he breathed in the fumes with welcome. After weeks of being cooped up on the [i]Drake[/i], fresh air, however cold, was welcome. Though the breeze was as sharp as recycled ship?s air, it was fresh and lacked the dryness and the persistent smell of ozone. Here it smelled of the mountains.

The dry grass crunched beneath him as he sat down next to Cody, who seemed to be absently watching the younglings? practice. There were three groups. Ahsoka was with Roo, Thoosa and Temese, observing their movements as they slid through a Shien kata. Waxer and Echo were with the youngest, practicing hand-to-hand set forms, Waxer?s voice punctuating the air with numbers as the children dropped into the appropriate stances and strikes. In between the two groups was Barriss Offee, with the children not yet old enough to learn advanced kata, but old enough to learn Shii-Cho.

Rex took a long, warming drink of the caf, the steam heating his nose while the mug was at his lips. Maera and Rithron were inside sleeping; they?d had a rough time of it this last trip, and needed the rest. They?d be leaving again tomorrow. This stop was little more than a refueling, restocking, and quick respite. He watched Ahsoka stalking around the three younglings she was watching, pausing them at times and correcting their stances. A foot more at a certain angle for Roo. A knee bent further forward for Thoosa. A head turned more in the right direction for Temese.

He smiled easily at them, then glanced at Cody. ?I?m surprised you?re still here. It?s been almost two months.?

Cody made a noncommittal sound and shrugged. ?I thought I?d catch a ride with you tomorrow into Aldera. I?ve got some things to catch up on.? Cody, too, had a mug of caf, but his was no longer steaming. After taking a sip, he made a face at the dregs of the drink, apparently long since gone cold and bitter.

Rex almost didn?t catch his next look. It wasn?t so much a change of expression as it was a change in focus. Cody?s lips were still twisted into a frown, his brows drawn down and his nose scrunched slightly. Instead of looking at the mug, he was, instead, looking at the black-clad woman in the field, instructing the middle group. Blowing out a long breath, Rex took a larger gulp of his caf. ?How?s she been adapting?? He gestured towards Barriss. ?Wasn?t a fight, was there??

That stirred Cody somewhat out of his sullenness. He looked at Rex sharply, almost glaring before looking away abruptly with his face returning to a thoughtful frown. ?No. Nothing like that.? Then, almost gently, ?Nothing like that.? He brought the empty mug of caf up to his mouth, then remembered it was empty and grimaced at it.

Unsure of what

 

Such a lovely post in which we see Barriss slowly adjusting to her new life. She's not quite ready for some things yet, but she's getting there, and everybody else is showing a lot of patience.

Hm, I wonder if there's a reason why our bunch of clones can get attached so easily? One has to admit, Rex, Fives and Echo all were very fortunate in their relationships. Cody now, though... it'll be a bit trickier.

I was really impressed with Waxer here. It's not always easy to keep one's temper down when one feels wrongly accused, so it's especially nice that Waxer was the one to offer the olive branch first.

I love Roo's certainty here. Sometimes, when one is feeling lost, there's nothing quite like a friend or family member's certainty to reassure you that things will turn out well eventually. I hope the day when Roo becomes Barriss' Padawan is not far away!

Great update!

 

I love seeing everyone together during the Jedi training, particularly sweet little Roo-Roo. You write Gungans so well, to the point that I think her "isa" is endearing. I find it very curious to see if Barriss may eventually respond positively to a romantic interest with a clone, but I don't think she will right now. I love Ahsoka and Rex's relationship. Beautiful characters, beautiful story. Can't wait for more.

 

anakinfan: I like writing Roo. Gungans are always suffering under the Curse of Jar Jar, so it's a lot of fun writing a smart little girl who also happens to be a Gungan. And I love writing Ahsoka and Rex, they're so much fun. And definitely some 'aggressive negotiations' were going on after the scene....

Valiowk: Barriss is getting there, slowly. lol, our bunch of clones get attached so easily because I want to give them all happy lives. The clones really got such a raw deal.

Luna_Nightshade: Roo is a lot of fun to write, and I like being able to write a smart little Gungan girl. I always love writing Rex and Ahsoka. I know not everyone likes the pairing, but to me they compliment each other quite well. As for Barriss responding to Cody...you won't have to wait too much longer to see how that goes....

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[i]This is Not Our Fate[/i]


Chapter 7. The Passage of Time



It was warmer upstairs.

As she descended back onto the carpeting on the floor, Barriss opened her eyes and breathed out, letting some of the bodily heaviness of meditation fall away. She sighed, but it was one of contentment rather than sadness. She stretched her shoulders a bit, rolling them and twisting her torso from one side to another, taking deep breaths on each as her mind settled back into her body and into the present.

She felt clearer. The middle of the night was apparently the best time to meditate. A lamp was on in one corner of the living room, though dimmed. It let off just enough yellow light to see. The rest of the house was dark. She slept better these days than she did even a few months ago, but slumber was still fitful and light, with little sounds waking her. Someone using the refresher an hour earlier woke her, and, unable to return to sleep, she wandered to the warmth of the upstairs and the clarity of meditation.

The sound of tuneless humming alerted her to someone?s approach, and she folded her legs beneath her, preparing to stand just as Fives rounded the corner, idly bouncing a baby against his shoulder. He stopped when he saw her, humming, walking and bouncing, and the baby apparently did not like the lack of motion, since she immediately began fussing and gathering air for squalling.

After a flash of dismay, Fives began bouncing and shuffling again, warily looking at Barriss as though unsure of his welcome in the room.

?I was just preparing to leave,? Barriss told him, standing and quickly batting at the hem of her nightshirt to smooth it. She gestured further into the room. A colicky baby Sia had, more than once, woken the whole house with screaming in the middle of the night. The last thing anyone needed was Ctesius and Neaera waking up and deciding they couldn?t sleep either.

?She never wants to be down,? Fives said, awkwardly stepping into the room and skirting towards the opposite side as Barriss. ?Colic?s been getting better, though. Hope she hasn?t woken you up.?

?Not any more than anyone else.?

Fives looked embarrassed, and Sia burbled and spat something up. He made a face that clearly read [i]?Ew, gross.? [/i]

Barriss found herself snickering at the sight, at the discomfort on Fives? face and at Sia?s uncoordinated flopping around in an attempt to turn herself. Taking pity on him, she extended her arms. ?I can take her while you get another rag.?

He gave her a strange look for a moment, and she realized it was one of both [i]surprise[/i] and [i]reluctance[/i]. She was not often friendly, and he was not sure what to make of her offer. Her arms lowered a little as she realized her coldness towards the clones was, in turn, shaping their trust of her. It stung a little; she had done nothing wrong.

Waxer tried to extend a peace offering to her not too long ago. Perhaps it was time that she attempted to do the same. Trying again, she said very gently, ?I can take her for a few minutes.?

Fives deliberated for a moment, looking at his daughter, then at Barriss. He pulled the infant away from him, passing her cautiously on to Barriss, who s

 

There was such a warmth of joy in that statement, it nearly brought tears to Barriss? eyes. ?I?m glad I can be here.?

Not alone. In this place, she was not alone, and she hoped the memories she had, of this place and time, would not turn bitter or pained. ?It?s good to have a home again.?

You managed to put two very important feelings into words that make you realize just how universal these emotions really are: especially the idea of good memories potentially becoming bitter and pained.

I like how Ahsoka is trying to forgive her old Master too for the decisions he made in order to move on herself. And I wonder if Barriss wants to do the same for Gree? She seemed to be very interested in knowing if the other clones knew about him. And Ahsoka's revelation was very well done. Excellent work again, iceaffinity.

 

I loved Barriss' interaction with the baby and then with Ahsoka. Ahsoka speaks a great deal of wisdom, and I love how she delicately described what had happened to her former master. I love these interactions in the safe house, and how much they mean to everyone. Can't wait for more.

 

darth_treyvah: Hmm, I think this new chapter will give you a definite answer about Barriss wanting to forgive Gree...

anakinfan: I didn't want this story to become a series of Vader vs. Ahsoka meetings - or even one big fateful meeting - so Ahsoka's spent a lot of time, albeit mostly 'offscreen', worrying about Anakin, and what would happen if they did meet again. Letting Vader know she's alive and has a bunch of padawans is not such a good thing.

luna_nightshade: Baby!Sia helped make everything a little smoother. Who can resist that much cute?

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[i]
This is Not Our Fate[/i]



Chapter 8. The Ghosts of Remembrances Past



Dinner was quieter than usual, though that was not to say it was quiet.

The children were all there, minus the two padawans, who were off with Ahsoka on a mission in the Corellian sector. The men were also gone, drafted into what was apparently a larger scale operation than the customary ones that involved smuggling and intelligence relay. They?d been gone three weeks already, and the house seemed emptier than usual without Waxer, Echo or Fives.

Ahsoka had invited her to join them. The thought of going out into the galaxy, of showing herself, chilled Barriss and she declined. In the subsequent weeks, however, she could not help but feel some regret. She knew too well when she?d grown afraid; before she merely kept her head down and accepted that she could do nothing. That was no longer true. Fear was one thing, but cowardice was another, and she was finding that she did not like being left behind. Perhaps it would soon be time for her to take up arms again.

The concept did not dismay her as much as it once would have. A small smile settled on her face, and she pulled the steamer tray out of the cooker, revealing a healthy helping of violet string beans. She turned the tray over and scraped the beans into a bowl with a spatula.

?I can take it,? a voice offered, and a pair of large hands appeared beside her. She set the empty tray down.

Of all the men who called the orphanage home, Cody was the only one present. He?d arrived earlier in the day from his own travels, appearing without announcement on the front stoop. He?d stunk like a bantha and hadn?t yet debriefed anyone on where he?d been or what he?d been doing. His hair was damp and though the kitchen smelled strongly of dinner, she could smell shampoo on him. It was much more pleasant than bantha.

He was waiting, with a somewhat uncertain smile on his face. His hands were extended, palms out. She quirked a brow. He was trying very hard to project [i]friendliness[/i], but there was an underlying [i]want[/i] directed at her that made her smile more widely. Clones were always hungry, she?d learned that well down the years, and though Cody?s metabolism was much more normal now than during the war, he apparently still liked to eat. Or maybe he just really liked string beans? It was rather funny.

She passed him the bowl, repressing her laugh but not her smile, and his broadened, tentatively at first, then into something wide and almost goofy. He seemed to realize he was looking silly, and he cleared his throat, making a more serious face. ?Thank you.?

?You?re welcome.? He began to turn red at the ears, and quickly moved towards the table and the group of rowdy younglings trying to set it with plastic dishware.

She was glad he didn?t seem to hold their manner of meeting against her. Barriss folded her hands before her and leaned back against the countertop, watching him place the bowl down amid all the children.

He had tried to kill Master Kenobi, though he?d failed the attempt. He?d brought her to Ahsoka, to safety, because of his attachments of friendship. Did he not have a friendship as well as a camaraderie with Obi-Wan? Why, then, did he turn so easily?

Cody seemed to sense her observation of him, and he met her eyes as he pulled out his chair at the end of the table. He smiled, [i]friendly[/i] and still [i]wanting[/i], though a little bit [i]hopeful[/i] now too.

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Oh, if Cody only knew what was really going on in Barriss' head, and if Barriss could at least let Cody know what was really going on in hers. It is so complicated and painful for everyone involved, and I found myself surprisingly sad for Gree. I hope Barriss can warm up to her friends more in the coming chapters. I'm afraid she'll never come out of her shell. Great update!

 

Very complex and very good- definitely worth the time to stop and read it. Looking forward to more.

 

My apologies for missing the previous post - was away for a summer school and felt bad to use the public computers there for other personal purposes besides checking e-mail.

Love the discoveries we make about Barriss in these two chapters. Barriss is finally opening up to the clones (although she still has much to work out with Cody romantically) - the next step will be for her to move on from Gree if she is interested in pursuing a new relationship with Cody. You do a magnificent job of detailing each person's emotions - the italicized words convey such a wealth of emotion!

Hope Barriss or Cody will be able to share their thoughts with another so as to prevent a misunderstanding from happening - it's definitely easier to work something out when everybody involved at least has a clear idea of what's going on.

Looking forward to the next update!

 

anakinfan: Yeah, there is so much confusion going on around Barriss and she's trying to sort everything out. And Cody has no idea why Barriss is acting the way she is, so he takes it the wrong way and...lots of confusion and misunderstanding and angst.

Luna_Nightshade: Cody and Barriss really do need to sit down and just hash everything out. And poor Gree. Especially having such a...visible...canon death.

MiralukaJedi: Thank you, I'm glad you stopped by!

Valiowk: There's already a lot of misunderstanding going on, but yes...they really do need to sit down and have a good long talk with each other. And Barriss is moving forward. Slowly, maybe, but surely.

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And now, for a side story....


[hr]

[b]Warning[/b]: There is a scene of domestic violence included in this chapter. It is in the first part. If this will upset you, be warned.

[i]
This is Not Our Fate[/i]



Chapter 9. Still So Early in the World



Maera absolutely loved her mother?s clothes.

Everything about them was diaphanous and shiny, glittery and small and bright. She twirled in front of the mirror on the wall, a rhinestone studded tiara sparkling between her brows and rising up over the mounds of her lekku, the pale green of the false gems accentuating the dark pink of her skin. Crimson ribbons trailed from the headpiece, rustling around her and falling onto her shoulders. Her lekku themselves did not quite reach her shoulders yet, but would soon. A couple more inches. A few more months. She beamed and tugged at them, willing them to grow and look more like the grown up Twi?lek ladies. She?d get some of those pretty patterns drawn on them someday, or buy pretty silver jewelry to spiral around them. They were too short for any of that now, though.

So she enjoyed the tiara and the ribbons and the golden shirt with cut out bits, which her mother filled out just with her top, but Maera imagined was a dress for herself.

There was a sigh from across their little studio apartment, and her mother emerged from behind the paper screen that partitioned off their sleeping area, dressed in loose fitting, warm clothes that draped rather than clung. Her arms were full of clothes from work, and a pair of bangle bracelets slid off the top of the pile. Ata reached down and scooped them back up, deposited them on top of a narrow dresser overflowing with cheap jewelry. She bent her head down, sniffed at the clothes, and made a face. They reeked of smoke and sweat, and unfortunately not all of the sweat was her own. She grimaced and began to shake the clothes out, placing them on hangers and storing them on the bar she?d extended from the ceiling to serve as a closet.

Maera spun and extended her arms. ?Mom, am I pretty?? She shook herself a little so that the ribbons danced and the shiny gold shirt glittered. Her mother made a strange face, then smiled.

?Yes, Maera. Very pretty.?

Maera pulled at the top of her ?dress?, which obviously was meant to be filled with body parts she didn?t have yet. She examined the extra material. ?Will I have stuff like this someday??

Ata made another face, but again smiled, though this time it was more strained. She knelt down and tugged the headpiece off of Maera?s head, combing her fingers through the ribbons to untangle any knots. ?Probably,? Ata told her, placing a hand on her head. ?Come on, take all that off. It?s getting late.?

?Can you read me a story??

Ata chuckled and set the headpiece aside, gesturing for Maera to raise her arms. She pulled the golden shirt off over her head, tugging it carefully down her lekku and away. ?Which one do you want??

Maera thought for awhile while her mother refolded the golden shirt. ?The one about me.?

?Again? You have that story memorized.?

?But it?s about me!?

Ata laughed and tweaked one of Maera?s lengthening lekku. She?d bought Maera a children?s holobook with a large compilation of stories in it, most of them from Ryloth, several weeks ago. There was an old, simplified legend about a warrior queen wh

 

Oh, this was heartbreaking. Poor Maera - to discover the extent of her Force abilities in such a way! I'm glad that Ahsoka was able to reassure her quickly and that she now has a safe environment to grow up in.

Looking forward both to more stories about each person's past, as well as about their lives at present!

 

Oh, poor, sweet little Maera. So strong, and such a terrible story for her. It is a kind of story that could have happened many times over though in the Empire. Ahsoka and the others are her only hope and it is good to see them taking care of each other like that. So sad but beautiful. Great update.

 

Valiowk: I wanted to write some background to how Ahsoka and company found at least one of the kids, but since they're all orphans, the backgrounds aren't very pleasant.

anakinfan: No, Maera doesn't have Anakin's personality, but you're right...I didn't really think of it that way, but there are some parallels in their lives.

Luna_Nightshade: Thanks. Force-sensitive kids born during the Empire must have had a rough time of it.

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[i]This is Not Our Fate[/i]


Chapter 10. Many Here Among Us


It was the laughter that drew her.

The voices were not composed of the riotous laughter of children playing, but of the mellower, deeper tones of adults. There was warmth in the sound, welcome and filled with the steady flow of familiarity. The lights in the kitchen were dim, and Barriss lingered in their somewhat safer shadows, peering out around the arch that led into the dining area.

The rectangular table was filled with the adult members of the household. Lukewarm bottles of Corellian ale sat beside most of them, most nearly emptied from earlier drinking. Others opted for Alderaanian spice wine, the burnished burgundy hue of the liquid still visible in glass goblets. Snacks, too, were lying on the table, both savory and sweet, and a platter of Nura?s ubiquitous sticky sesame cakes. Echo and Suisen were both selecting balls to add to their plates before passing the tray along for another round. Ahsoka was laughing as she said something to Rex, her arms stretched out as she scraped the chips from the sabacc pot closer to herself, adding to her already significant pile.

Though the kitchen was still heated from earlier cooking, the real warmth seemed to be in the dining room, so brightly lit against the nighttime sky lurking outside the windows.

Behri?s bright voice called out, accompanied by a wicked smile, ?Corellian Gambit, this round! Five cards each. Hope you?re all ready.?

The cards shuffled quickly between her fingers, then, one by one, were spun out towards each player.

[hr]

She did not understand.

Intertribal warfare had torn this region of Mirial to shreds for decades. Now, though, in the face of years of hatred, the two clans were forced to work in tandem, to move their wounded into a single field hospital positioned between the two warring cities. To look to the east showed the silhouette of a metropolis gone dark, the ice-like spires that should have shone silver in the starlight were left blackened from energy shortage. To the west, an eerie phosphorescence could be seen, pale green and spectral, rising from secondary power generators deep within the second city. Lit from within, the damage could be more easily seen; the elegant towers that so recently stood tall were crumbled from the quake.

Barriss ran a hand over her eyes, feeling the strain of hours of work. She needed food, to keep up her own strength, and then she would return and set more broken bones, and try to stretch their dwindling supply of bacta as far as possible. The damage was extensive. The hospitals within the cities were badly damaged or destroyed. Communications were down. The cities, on the edge of the ocean, were hammered by tsunamis, flooding out roads and swamping others with flotsam and chemicals swept out of businesses, factories and homes. The secondary power generators only came online a few hours ago. Determining the full extent of the damage was given the highest priority, quickly followed by reestablishing power.

The tent city was the only source of clean water and food for kilometers in every direction, and reaching it was treacherous for most, walking on foot over damaged roads. Shanty towns were springing up around the hospital, though many were forced to sleep outside in the frozen desert steppe. Terrorized screams still sounded periodically, as aftershocks set the earth to trembling.

Aid was being flown in regularly, but with the slowly swelling numbers, aid alone was not enough. They flew through supplies, desperately trying to keep up with the increasing demand. Desper

 

There are many things the Jedi have to unlearn, but I'm sure that Barriss will be able to figure things out in due course of time. It's always difficult to accept that there may be several bad points to a way of life that one is used to and believed functioned well, but inherent good points prove themselves with time.

I can't help but wonder: Was that seat actually set out for Cody or for Barriss?

 

Absolutely beautifully written! BEST FAN FIC EVER!!!!!!!!! just wonderful! should be published into a book!

 

I love how Barriss is wrestling with her past teachings and her present situation. It isn't that they clash, but she has to learn how to handle them in a new way. The image of the people at the destroyed planet was also beautiful--sharing their food and learning to trust each other. Beautiful update.

 

anakinfan: Luminara always seemed like the very traditional kind of Jedi, and she'd surely pass that on to Barriss. Due to all the post-Order 66 changes, those that are left had to unlearn a lot of behavior. For Ahsoka, who's already an outside the box thinker, that wasn't as hard as for Barriss, who is much more of a traditionalist. As for Barriss joining them....read on?

Valiowk: Hmm, was the seat for Cody or Barriss? Good question...especially since they all knew Cody was off-world. So odd for them to put a seat out for someone several parsecs away....

barrissoffeefan: Aw, thank you! Barriss is a lot of fun to write, even though she's being so angsty in here. I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Luna_Nightshade: Thank you. Barriss is slowly learning to handle all these different issues. It's been a lot of fun pulling all these characters together, and they really have ended up with a wide variety of backgrounds. Makes things interesting, after all.

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Also, I wanted to send a big [b]thank you[/b] out! I just discovered this fic has gotten a few nominations in this year's Fanfic Awards! [face_hugs] So, thank you so much for the nominations! I'm really honored you've been enjoying my ramblings here. [face_love][face_love]



[hr]

[i]This is Not Our Fate[/i]


Chapter 11. In Action, How Like an Angel



Once a year, she came to Aldera to meet with Bail Organa.

Ahsoka stood quietly within the palace, her hands clasped behind her back as she waited on a balcony near Organa?s study. At such a height, she could see past the winter greenery decking out the royal gardens to the outer metropolis of Aldera, the white city glowing cool against the fiery colors of the sunset. She smiled at the sight of the sun sinking into the mountains beyond the city; she was facing the wrong way to look towards home, but the snow capped peaks were a reassuring sight, nonetheless.

She came during Bail?s regular business hours, towards the end of the day when he took care of less pressing matters than those that demanded his attention in the morning. She dressed in the well made, elegant clothes of a prosperous merchant, modest in cut but sumptuous in fabric, marking her a businesswoman of moderately wealthy status. Her coming late in the day signaled that she was important enough for a man of Organa?s power to make time for her, but not so important he would usher her in over politicos, investors and power brokers of mightier standing.

In other words, she was someone easily forgotten. With their minds on other matters, anyone who did bother to look the way of the quiet Togruta thought nothing of the swift arrival of disinterest in her. It was hard to look at her for some reason; their attention was always better warranted elsewhere. She also seemed disinclined to talk to anyone, just a pretentious merchant hob-nobbing above herself. She was lucky to be in the palace at all, really.

There was shuffling from further down the hallway, and Ahsoka left the balcony to return to the waiting area outside of Bail?s study. A group of humans were leaving his office, while a group of anxious Rodians were doing their best not to rush towards the door. Other than Ahsoka, they were the last remaining group outside the elegantly carved doors of the study.

Bail himself appeared at the door, smiling and shaking hands with the human delegation while he ushered them out. The Rodians began to hover, moving forward as quickly as decorum allowed, exchanging pleasantries with the human group while each gaggle of people tried to disguise the distain they had for each other. Ahsoka repressed a smile. Poor Bail, dealing with bickering groups. He caught notice of her and inclined his head in her direction while the humans and Rodians exchanged veiled barbs of greeting. Ahsoka smiled, arching a brow and flicking her eyes towards the group. It sounded like there was a trade dispute of some kind.

After seeing her look of droll amusement, Bail was unable t