Title: Through His Eyes Author: Briannakin Timeframe: 7ABY Characters: OCs (Pan/Teilo), and Established Characters (Bail/Breha, Winter/Tycho). Categorization: AU (legends) Genre: Romance Notes: In 2018 I started a half diary called “Just Pan”. The muse kinda wandered off while writing that but I adored the OC and the love interest I had in mind for the end of that diary, that I just wrote random vignettes featuring those two. You won’t have had to read that diary (or the vignettes) to understand this diary (but you should be aware this is in your typical “Empire never rose to power” AU. These two have just been bugging my muse lately so I decided to write an actual story with them as sort of an introduction to these two. Also, note that this story features a story with a disability. I’ve gotten a lot of flak for writing disabilities with “no cure” in SW but I don’t care. Don’t like it; don’t read it. Note 2: While I have written Pan/Teilo’s first meeting in a vignette, I didn’t feel like just rewriting it so some details have changed. Entry 1 Oh STARS! I am so embarrassed right now. I need to get this out in text, then maybe I can sleep. Though maybe I might need more alcohol for that. I kissed the Prince of Alderaan this evening. No, not former Republic Chief of State Bail Organa (I’m not that stupid or drunk). I kissed Prince Panimaxander. So, I was invited to not only the Royal Wedding of Princess Winter Organa to Tycho Celchu, but also the private reception. Tycho and I met in university and, became friends, and were even roommates. We still hang out in the same crowd and sometimes work together; I am a professional negotiator (think less hostage negotiation and more contract negotiations… though I do both) and Tycho works for the Planetary Security Force: AldSec. Anyways, I’m blabbing. It was an honour to be invited to the wedding and private reception. It was elegant and everything you would expect a royal Alderaani wedding to be. And then Tycho decided torture me by introducing me to my celebrity crush: Prince Panimaxander. Prince Panimaxander just so handsome, okay? From his jet-black hair to his genuine boyish smile. And, while he rarely does public appearances (his sister’s wedding was the first in a galactic year and a half) he is - or was - just so confident. Not in an ego way. He just had this aura of knowing who he was and loving his identity. And today, when he spoke at his sister’s wedding, he wasn’t the same, but that somehow made my… infatuation (Stars it’s embarrassing to write that word as a 31-year-old man) grew. Prince Panimaxander was the witness for the wedding. In Alderaani culture, there isn’t a wedding party, simply one person, close to the bride and groom, who testifies to their love. And the speech Panimaxander gave was so beautiful. He was so beautiful. After Tycho came down the aisle with his mom and Queen Breha; and Princess Winter came down with her father and Tycho’s father, there was the water ceremony, then Prince Panimaxander came up and began speaking from notes. “I… uhhhh….” He was visibly uncomfortable being in front of so many people for the first time in his hoverchair. About five months ago he was in a horrific Starfighter crash. Details I know from the media and from Tycho, but I never wanted to pry into such personal information. I know there was a severe spinal chord injury and brain damage and, while brain regeneration has helped, nothing can be done for his particular kind of spinal cord injury. Prince Panimaxander was struggling to start his speech so Princess Winter and Tycho knelt at his feet and took his hands. “Just say what you want to say to us, okay?” Princess Winter said gently, though the sound equipment still picked it up. Prince Panimaxander nodded. “Love is the strongest force in the universe. It can withstand anything. Even when fleeting life is gone; love remains. Yet love is conveyed in the softest of… t… touches, and simple acts. I have witnessed both love’s enduring bond, shown through daily…” he stared at his notes again and became agitated. “It’s okay,” Tycho said. “Do you want me to read the next word?” Prince Panimaxander nodded. Tycho picked up the note. “Gestures.” “… Gestures… of kindness and laughs between Winter and Tycho. Their marriage will be one of mutual respect, hard word, playfulness, and endless love. I have witnessed their love and I will witness that love become endless in marriage.” It was the shortest witness statement I’ve heard at an Alderaani wedding, but I think it will stick with me forever. Anyways, back to why I feel so embarrassed and just like shavit. It happened later on in the evening at the private reception. Tycho knew I’ve had a crush on the prince for years now and ever since Tycho began to date Princess Winter, he’s been bugging me about giving Prince Panimaxander my comm code. I’ve always told him no, I think mostly because Prince Panimaxander went through a very public, very messy break-up, then joined the Galactic Navy and I just wasn’t into being a rebound date or a long distance relationship. But at the private reception, Tycho kinda forced me into a meeting. I was just sitting at a table with Wedge Antillies, Wes Janson, Hobbie Klivian and the rest of that CorSec crew (my work firm as well as AldSec works with CorSec often), when Tycho grabbed my hand and pulled me up. “I’m going to introduce you to the love of your life,” he informed me. I was so confused and had no context. “What?” Tycho led me to the front table. “You are meeting Pan and you are going to fall in love.” I then saw Prince Panimaxander, sitting at the head table, asleep in his hoverchair, next to the Queen and the Prince Consort, who were casually talking and holding hands. Hanging out with Tycho is normal for me, and I’ve gotten to know Princess Winter, but I felt so overwhelmed meeting the rest of the royal family. “No, look, he’s asleep, I don’t want to bother him.” “Oh, stop being scared, Teilo,” Tycho taunted. “See, he’s actually awake,” he exclaimed. “Pan, this my friend from university, Teilo Kunsa.” At this, Prince Panimaxander opened his eyes. He was even more dashing up-close in his formal shirt and vest. Though I did not forget my manners. I was meeting the queen and princes. I bowed. “Your Royal Majesty.” That was for the Queen. “Your Serene Highnesses.” Tycho continued to introduce me. “Teilo was my tutor for Intergalactic Relations and we ended up becoming friends, then roommates.” He then laughed. “He has the biggest crush on you, Pan!” I wanted to murder Tycho on his wedding day. “Tycho!” “Hey, it’s Prince Tycho now! Besides, you told me this yourself years ago! And you were visibly disappointed when you showed up to my bachelor party late and Pan had already gone home.” This, I admit. I was disappointed I didn’t get to meet Prince Panimaxander on my own terms. Tycho continued to laugh. “I was going to make you give Pan a lap dance.” I glared at Tycho. “And this is our cue to leave. It was a pleasure to meet you, Teilo,” Prince Bail said, taking Queen Breha by the hand to the direction of the dance-floor. My lips and brain froze, but I managed to bow again. “Tycho! Are you seriously trying to hook my brother up? Just because both Pan and Teilo are gay, doesn’t automatically mean they are soulmates.” Winter marched up to her husband. She was so beautiful, but she was clearly mad. I felt guilty for being at the centre of their first marital argument. “Okay, first off, Dear, Teilo is bisexual. Second, no, I’m not that stupid. Teilo is a nice guy and I thought both he and Pan might like to meet. And third, it’s my wedding too! Let me share the love. Pan has put up with so much to be a part of this wedding, I thought he would like to dance with someone other than his mother or sister.” The prince was blushing and I could tell he was almost as uncomfortable as I was being in the middle of the newlyweds. “Would you like to dance with me, Prince Panimaxander?” I asked, wanting to get us both out of this situation. “Yes.” He was so quiet. I smiled so hard, it hurt. I took his hand and led him out to the dance floor. I might have been showing off for him to cover up my nerves. At one point I took off my scarf and wrapped it around him and he laughed at that. The song died down and transitioned into a slower, more romantic ballad and I just had to say something. “Thank you for dancing with me. I just have to say, your speech this morning at the ceremony was beautiful and will stick with me. I loved what you said at the end: ‘life is fleeting, but love is everlasting.’” I THEN DID THE STUPID THING. I kissed him on the cheek. I was as shocked as he was. “Would you… would you like to dance to another song?” he asked. Uhhh…. Stars yes! “I’d love to,” I said. “Can you put your hoverchair into neutral or something so we move together.” He nodded and then we held hands - one at my hip, the other I put our clasped hands at his shoulder. We swayed and just looked into each other’s eyes. I just got lost in the moment. I don’t know why. I guess he was just so focused on me, and I was just so focused on him. It was just nice to have fun and dance with a cute guy. I’ve been single for awhile now and it was so enjoyable to slow dance with someone. The song ended and I was going to ask him if he wanted to get a drink with me, when I noticed him becoming upset. I did something wrong and I don’t know what because before I could ask, he began to sob. “Thank you for dancing with me. It was really a lot of fun, but I have to go now.” He ran off and out of the hall. I wanted to follow, but I knew it wasn’t my place. I left the reception shortly after. I just want to apologize for kissing him or whatever I did wrong. I don’t know… maybe I’ll talk to Tycho once he gets back from his honeymoon and just make sure Prince Panimaxander is okay. I just feel like an idiot.