main
side
curve

Saga Thy Endless Wait (poem) [ongoing]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by DaenaBenjen42, Jan 29, 2006.

  1. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Could this be where Shmi and Lars meet? You create a wonderful sense of a life changing event being played out.

    =D=
     
  2. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    wow!!! Shimi and Lars I presume? Loved it... so touching... (more?)

    Rachel Rose@};-
     
  3. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    MirandaFair: Thankyou, MirandaFair. Just what I was trying to do. Glad it worked.

    AnakinLuver: Shmi and Cliegg, yes. :) More? Oh yeah. (Glad you likey.)



    As life goes on,
    on the desert planet
    a plan is put into action
    and a Toydarian's greed
    is preyed upon
    and nearly blinded

    A slave
    a woman
    is set free

    A man
    and a woman,
    and the man's son
    become a family

    On the desert planet,
    as life goes on
    happiness
    is found


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  4. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    [face_love] awwww... love it!!! Ur really good at writing simple, love connection poems... (more?)

    Rachel Rose@};-
     
  5. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    AnakinLuver: Well... connective poems are fun! (And thankyou. :) )



    On the swampy planet,
    a teacher waits

    Waits
    for a student
    to arrive

    On the swampy planet,
    a teacher watches
    with ever-growing dismay

    Watches
    as a student
    fails to meet
    expectations

    On the swampy planet
    a teacher mourns
    for the lost

    On the swampy planet
    a teacher plans
    and waits
    watches
    and mourns
    for the time
    when destiny
    will be decided
    is drawing
    ever nearer


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  6. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    =D= Awesome... Yoda? Kewl... Loved it... more?

    Rachel Rose@};-
     
  7. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    AnakinLuver: Yep. Yoda. :) (more? Definitely.)




    Down among the lost,
    she waits
    waits for hope
    to appear

    On Nar Shadda,
    among the rabble
    no one will
    look

    Down among the lost,
    no one will suspect
    who would care
    who would look

    The old woman,
    hiding in the shadows
    carries a secret
    under a tattered robe

    Down among the lost,
    no one will suspect
    or care
    no one will look

    And so she waits
    for hope
    to appear

    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  8. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    awesome... just awesome!!!

    Rachel Rose@};-

    More?
     
  9. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    AnakinLuver: Okay... :) (Can't help it. Got knocked into poetry mode and THEN I saw a song from Les Miserables... Bad combo, but at least it's interesting. :) )



    Down among the lost,
    an old woman
    succumbs to memory
    an old hurt
    a phantom face
    of one
    she could not save

    Phantom shadows
    dancing
    in the alley
    reminders
    of the lost

    reminders
    of the path
    that led
    only to darkness
    and death

    The lost
    dancing around her
    in the half-light
    in the shadows
    they haunt her

    Memory
    of the one
    she could not save

    Phantom shadows
    dancing
    in the alley
    dancing
    in the half-light

    Dancing
    always dancing

    An old hurt
    a haunting reminder
    aching with grief
    that has faded
    little with time

    The grief
    that can't be spoken
    only remembered
    as the shadows
    dance
    in the half-light

    Down among the lost,
    a woman
    remembers
    a phantom face
    of one lost
    but not forgotten


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  10. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    loved this.. really so... very heartbreaking! more?

    Rachel Rose@};-
     
  11. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    AnakinLuver: This is SO the day for poetry. :) (Thankyou...)



    How long?
    Where am I?

    These questions
    float through his mind
    as he hangs
    suspended in the moment

    His hands
    can not
    move

    His legs
    can not
    kick

    How long?
    Where am I now?

    The thoughts
    appear,
    and then fade
    in to
    the blankness
    like they were never there

    He doesn't
    know
    the answers

    All he knows
    is that
    time
    is standing still

    Encased in carbonite
    a former smuggler
    waits


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  12. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    =D= Great job! I love Han!!

    Rachel Rose@};-

    More?[face_batting]
     
  13. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Wow, Daena. You've been busy! The fruits of your labor are apparent. Beautiful work and I'm happy to have read them all in one sitting. I especially loved Han and Yoda's poems.

    Watches
    as a student
    fails to meet
    expectations


    It's amazing the amount of pressure that was being placed on Luke. Great insight into both characters. Luke and Yoda.

    Lovely. @};-
     
  14. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    AnakinLuver: Really? Coolness. :) (Here be more...)

    MirandaFair: Hi! Welcome back! (And I'm honored that you think so. [:D] )


    At Bespin,
    danger waits
    waits
    for the target
    to fall
    into the trap

    At Bespin,
    the warnings
    to leave
    are not
    heeded

    At Bespin,
    danger
    is close
    and lurks
    around
    every turn

    At Bespin,
    a trap
    will be
    sprung

    At Bespin,
    danger
    is waiting


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  15. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Slowly, slowly
    skulking
    through the halls

    Slowly, slowly
    in the night

    Through
    the halls
    and down
    the steps

    Careful
    not to make
    a sound

    Slowly, slowly
    through the halls
    and down the steps
    to the destination
    she has
    waited
    months to see

    Slowly, slowly
    a princess
    skulks
    through the halls


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  16. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    Wow... I loved both updates!! Really awesome!

    Rachel Rose@};-

    More?[face_batting]
     
  17. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    AnakinLuver: I try my best. :) (More... okay. More it is.)


    In the halls of power
    an old evil
    whispers
    influentially

    In the halls of power
    a queen
    says twelve words
    and the unknown plan
    succeeds

    In the halls of power
    because
    oppertunity presented itself
    a scheme
    will play out

    In the halls of power
    an old evil
    will rule


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  18. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    More great work! =D= I love the pacing. The Bespin one got my heart racing. [face_batting]
     
  19. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    wow... awesome once again!!!

    Rachel Rose@};-

    more?![face_batting]
     
  20. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    MirandaFair: Not sure how to respond to the batting eyes, but... thank you.

    AnakinLuver: Okay. :)




    Grief
    does not
    wait

    Procession
    leading the way

    March
    in memory

    Procession
    of grief

    Mired in
    lies
    and falshoods
    but grave
    the news

    As a nation
    mourns
    grief
    does not wait


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  21. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    Stolen moment
    behind
    a pillar

    Stolen moment
    shocking
    good news
    is broken

    Stolen moment
    this is
    a happy
    moment

    Stolen moment
    away
    from politics

    Stolen moment
    behind
    a pillar


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.
  22. BrentusofGath

    BrentusofGath Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Stolen moment
    behind
    a pillar


    Gee, I wonder who that could be? :p

    I like how you capture moments in poetry. :)
     
  23. AnakinLuver

    AnakinLuver Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 13, 2006
    I loved both updates... especially the one with the stolen moment... that scene in ROTS made my heart warm... More?

    Rachel Rose@};-
     
  24. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    Hahah...the batting eyes were towards the action on Bespin. ;) I love the build up there. Another two great updates. :)
     
  25. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    BrentusofGath: Thankyou, kind sir. :)

    AnakinLuver: That was really cool, wasn?t it? (More? Sure.)

    MirandaFair: Ah. That makes sense. (Thank you.)



    Suns setting
    young general
    last hope
    arriving
    at the farm

    Suns setting
    precious
    little one

    Suns setting
    young general
    kindly couple
    meeting
    for a moment
    in the
    waning light

    Last hope
    kindly couple
    watching the
    suns setting
    at the farm


    TBC...
     
    Ewok Poet likes this.