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Saga Time and Again (repost and rewrite) - 2/25 Update3

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Aunecah_Skywalker, May 26, 2003.

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  1. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Title: Reflections in the Water
    Author: [hl=black]Aunecah_Skywalker[/hl]
    Timeframe: AOTC (AU)
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Qui-Gon Jinn, OCs, others.
    Genre: Drama, angst, and practically everything else except romance.
    Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi's accused of a crime he never committed, but he doesn't defend himself. Why?
    Keywords: Force, Jedi, Sith, crime, et. al
    Notes: Time and Again repost and rewrite.
    Dislcaimer: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Mace Windu, et al., belong to George Lucas. OCs and original storyline belong to me. I'm making no profit and only playing with the beloved universe.

    A longer note to readers:

    This is, like I said a rewrite of my old story, Time and Again. However, this will, eventually, also be a continuation of the old story. It also is much different than the older version, though you'll see several familiar characters and situations resurface.

    I seem to be suffering a WB on many stories that I've started - but I should have guessed that I would because it happened every single time after I finished something large - like Time and Again. Since I have some hundred paged rough draft (outline) worked out already for this story, I'm hoping it will pull me out of the WB.

    I don't know how often I'll update on this story, but I'm planning on doing it fairly regularly - every day or every two days. I hope somebody will read it, but I won't be too surprised if nobody does after all the stories that I've locked as of late. :(

    Aunecah

    * * * * *

    Part One

    Prologue

    "I know you're awake, son."

    He lay absolutely still.

    The single movement of an eyelash or the jerk of a finger would send his entire body into the grip of agony so intense that he could taste the acrid smell of the liquid fire bubbling out of his stomach, burning everything that came in its way and reducing his organs to ashes. The fire was there even if he didn't move, gnawing at his stomach like a toddler who had been refused his daily chocolate.

    So, he didn't move. He didn't open his eyes. He didn't think. He didn't even breathe. In the ominous silence of the room, his choked heartbeat became the focus. Yes, a welcome focus. If he concentrated on his heartbeat enough, he could ignore everything else. Especially himself. He could lose himself in the gentle, if not regular, rhythm of his heart beating against his bruised ribcage.

    "You can open your eyes."

    He didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to return to the blissful oblivion that had descended upon him earlier. He remembered,

    distantly,

    that he had awoken once before already. The pain had been worse, infinitely worse, then, its volume so great, its intensity so pointed, he hadn't been able to breathe. He had thought he was going to die, and he had reveled in the fact. After all, there didn't seem to be any point in living anymore.

    He also remembered,

    just as distantly,

    the woman's face. He had had a bad feeling about her from the very beginning. She had tried to put a needle into his arm, and he had fought her. Oh yes, he had fought her so well, he nearly startled her into tears. Shadows had moved into his field of vision. Some of them had taken

    (dragged?)

    her away. Some had remained. They had called out to him. They called him something,

    a name, he thought, my name,

    that he could no longer remember. They told him, again and again, that they were here only to help him. But he had known that they were lying. Why would anybody help him? No, they must be lying.

    Then, when he had realized that the woman had gone away, he had trouble breathing. It wasn't because he didn't know how (oh yes, he knew how to breathe), and it wasn't because he didn't want to breathe. He wanted air. He so desperately wanted air. Yes, he had wanted it so much, he had come out of his hiding and let them take him to his bed, his warm, soft, enticing bed.

    They told him they we
     
  2. Monica_Skywalker

    Monica_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    I wished I had found this story when you first started it, because it's excellent! :D I can't wait to see what happens in the next post! :)
     
  3. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    I remember this one, I think
     
  4. clark1016

    clark1016 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2001
    Loved the first draft of this one, so count me in for the rewrite.
     
  5. Jedi_Humaira_Blaine

    Jedi_Humaira_Blaine Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 27, 2003
    This was so interesting :D I was engrossed from beginning to end. Aunecah your writing style is one of my faves here on the boards and once again you've written a lovely story.

    I haven't read the earlier version...does it matter though? Can I pick up the story from here? :confused:

    Do continue it though. I'm dying to hear the rest! :D

    Humaira
     
  6. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Monica_Skywalker: Thanks. The next post should be coming shortly.

    Kiatara: Nice to have you aboard. :)

    clark1016: Wow, thanks. Nice to know that I made such an impression for you to come back to the rewrite. :)

    JHB: Thanks! :) No, you don't need to read the earlier version ? like I said, this is a rewrite; so it's starting all the way from the beginning. The next post is coming shortly ? I'm starting to write it, so you can look for it sometime later today.

    Aunecah
     
  7. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Chapter One

    Ten years later?

    Night had fallen as a promise of rainstorm on Dimuna. Thunderstorms the size of Trade Federation battleships swirled overhead to an unheard orchestra, punctuated by the jagged forks of lightning that were followed closely by the relentless beats of thunder. The weather had been like this for nearly two days now, so the natives of the planet predicted that there would be a storm late today night or early tomorrow morning. The storm also was likely to continue for half a week before finally dying out.

    "Darkness claims a lethargic soul. In the face of nothing, create your own life."

    Ninety-eight?

    Ninety-nine?

    One hundred?

    Sweat was pounding down Obi-Wan's bare back as he struggled through one last push-up. It glistened to the dim lighting of the lightning forks that could be seen, just barely so, through the little hole at the top of the wall that was supposed to be a window. As a rule, Obi-Wan avoided exercising unless he could come up with absolutely nothing else. This was one such time, one such night.

    Feeling somewhat better, Obi-Wan pushed himself up into a half-decent sitting position. He crawled over to the metal slab that protruded from the wall (and could be sent back in) and lined another wall along its length. He crawled on top of it and sat down heavily, panting from the effort of pushing his weight down on his elbows that had only recently been subjected to target practice by several thugs with bats.

    "Show deference to your elders and amnesty to your youngsters?forsake insults, for there is nothing of value there to be found."

    Obi-Wan inhaled deeply and let out it slowly. He shivered as a cool breeze seemed to waft through the (hole) window. Well, that was at least one good thing about exercising. In the confines of his cell, his skin tended to become monotonously warm with little regard to the outside temperature. The sweat brought out some of his body heat, and as a side, it also helped clean himself (he hoped).

    He called his shirt to himself with a wave of his hand. It was murky, dirty, ragged, bloody, and torn in several places; it looked as if it had seen many fights. Just like him. Patting it affectionately almost as if it were his pet, a living, sentient being, Obi-Wan pulled the shirt over his head. He then proceeded to put on his robes.

    That was when he sensed it: movement in one of the cells a good ten or twenty meters down the twisted corridor. The presence belonged to a particularly ill-reputed convict known as Panaka. From what Obi-Wan gathered through the Force and the talks of other convicts, Panaka used to be a security officer on Naboo, a Mid Rim world that didn't make it to the news very often, before he killed two Gungans. This didn't make any difference to the Naboo, as the Naboo saw themselves superior to these barely sentient creatures that inhabited the water of the same planet, but the Gungans (unfortunately enough for Panaka) were (slaves) servants to the Trade Federation Viceroy.

    "Power mothers deception and fathers negligence and fosters corruption."

    Obi-Wan stared into the wall ahead of him, like he did a lot of times; there wasn't much of anything else to stare at. Sometimes, he amused himself by pulling the metal slab that was his bed in and out and in and out, but he had received a beating for it and had stopped ever since.

    Through the Force, he could feel Panaka coming closer to his cell. By the time, he was within three meters' distance from Obi-Wan's cell, his boots were echoing ominously in the relative silence inside the prison complex. Brief seconds later, he felt and heard stirrings, moans, confused whines, yawns. Soon, too soon, the sounds reached a crescendo ? convicts hooting and catcalling, yelling obscenities and encouragements, and clanging against the metal bars of the their cell's door as Panaka passed them by in the corridor.

    They all wanted to kill Obi-Wan ? badly.

    After ten years, forty-seven murders, and over two hundr
     
  8. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Chapter Two

    Panaka regarded the man sitting in front of him, apparently at complete ease with his surroundings. He wasn't toweringly tall or particularly muscular, but he still held himself with such an air of dignity and confidence that you couldn't help but be intimidated by him. He wasn't very old, either. In fact, the man was much, much younger than Panaka, himself, yet his face was caressed with lines of experience and wisdom. Panaka had no doubt that life had happened upon Obi-Wan very early and he didn't envy the other.

    The first thing Panaka had heard ? not from friends because there were no such things as friends here, but rather from those who simply wanted to see some sport ? was that "the man out there in the cell was his only hope" and that he needed to be avoided at all costs. It surprised him when the warnings came from thugs who boasted about looting banks and murdering their way into senators' homes and offices. Considering the tone with which Obi-Wan had warned him NOT to fight, Panaka was glad that he hadn't had any silly notions of fighting him.

    Despite his long, long experience as a security officer, and despite Obi-Wan's apparent distaste in killing, Panaka remained strangely apprehensive of him. So when the young man waved him over to sit on the slab, acting as if this were his home and he were a host and Panaka were a guest and there was nothing at all strange about anything and that neither of them had anything at all to worry about other than the daily nuisances of life, Panaka didn't move a millimeter.

    "How long have you been here?" Panaka asked.

    Obi-Wan stood and strode over to the other side of the cell, from where he waved Panaka toward the metal slab. After a moment's worth of hesitation, Panaka walked over to the slab. He had an injured leg that didn't seem to want to support him, and he would rather not find himself in a situation where he would need Obi-Wan's (physical) help.

    Obi-Wan folded his arms and leaned back against the wall. "Ten years."

    "How old are you?"

    Obi-Wan simply shrugged, and Panaka took that to mean that he didn't want to reveal anymore information about himself. He looked about thirty, but being in prison could have aged him early. His dark brown hair was flecked with an occasional gray here and there, and you couldn't chase the shadows out of his stormy blue eyes with a megawatt glowrod. And then there were his clothes.

    "You're wearing Jedi's clothes."

    Obi-Wan nodded. "I was a Jedi."

    "Was?" Panaka asked. He hesitated, wondering the logistics of asking a potentially dangerous criminal about his crime. What if he took offense and killed Panaka? That thought didn't really shake him as badly as some other thoughts. Death almost seemed a relief after what he had gone through.

    "They expelled me from the Order before sending me here." He said it all so flatly, so unemotionally, that Panaka had to wonder if Obi-Wan really cared about being a Jedi. Most Jedi that Panaka knew had ? they usually got very upset when asked to think about a life as something other than a Jedi ? but Obi-Wan?

    "'Take nothing at its face value, for appearances are often deceiving.'"

    "Hmm?" Panaka asked with a raised eyebrow.

    "It's one of the ten maxims of Xurm Phonki, a Jedi philosopher," said Obi-Wan.

    "Never heard of him."

    "Most Jedi haven't," Obi-Wan admitted.

    Panaka hesitated again, but this was so difficult. He had never realized how hard it was to continue a one sided conversation. "Does he come before our generation?"

    "He wouldn't be in the Jedi Code if he didn't."

    They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence?well, uncomfortable for Panaka, anyway. He couldn't tell what Obi-Wan felt about anything.

    Panaka stared around at Obi-Wan's cell. The lighting in the room was feeble, but after spending several months in the dark, Panaka's eyes had adjusted to it. He saw that the cell wasn't overtly large. He recognized the design and features of a maximum-security cell, one that was used to house a very dangerous criminal ? a c
     
  9. putsomeBactaonit

    putsomeBactaonit Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    May 2, 2003
    Wow. I like it.
     
  10. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Quite a change, but a good one!
     
  11. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Putsomebactaonit: Thanks. :)

    Kitara: Thanks. More coming soon.

    Aunecah
     
  12. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Chapter Three

    "Be wary of help given by others, especially strangers, for there are no saints left in the galaxy."

    Obi-Wan thought he knew what was driving Panaka into offering him his help. They had met each other only a hour or so ago, but Obi-Wan got a rather strong impression of the man, and that was that no matter what prejudice he may hold, he was not a murderer. The prison was a hostile place for criminals, and hell for those who had been wrongly convicted of a crime.

    He drew in a shallow but shuddering breath as he realized where his thoughts were taking him. Emotional balance, he repeated to himself, was the ultimate goal of a Jedi. That person, theory held, who could control his emotions was a Jedi, no matter his age or abilities.

    "I know the prison layout," said Panaka quickly, taking Obi-Wan's silence for a "no." "Each prison needs a trash compressor and energizer somewhere in it. Because we don't have the refresher units in the cells themselves, I'm thinking that it will be somewhere deep underground. There the solid particles are energized into air molecules, while the?" and here Panaka trailed off for a moment, trying to figure out a scientific word that would fit the meaning well, "uh, more liquid substances are extracted of the harmful and?disgusting configurations and remoleculized into water."

    "This water cannot be stored away infinitely," Obi-Wan summarized. "It needs to have an outlet."

    "Yes," said Panaka eagerly. "Usually, the outlets are the size of those massive ventilation ducts you can find in any antimatter-driven factories. There will be more than enough space for a person to crawl through, and they usually lead into a water container module." He paused.

    "I see you aren't curious enough about your survival to ask me how we're going to survive in water containers," Panaka sighed, sounding not only annoyed and angry but bewildered as well.

    "Somebody who follows the Light is not a Dark Jedi. But a Jedi is somebody who strives to make others follow the Light."

    "Will it be helpful if I asked questions?"

    "Yes," Panaka hissed.

    "How are we going to survive in water containers?"

    Panaka sighed, clapping a weary hand to his forehead. "These water outlets need to be cleaned once in a while. No matter how much the prison overseers don't care about what the convicts are drinking. So I'm expecting that the outlets don't all lead to water containers. Some, or maybe only one, should lead to the workers' room."

    "You want me to find out which tunnels leads to the workers' room using the Force?"

    "I assume you can?" Panaka asked. He suddenly looked uncertain. "I don't see a Force-collar on you and I assumed that?considering how many people you killed?"

    "When a person commits a judgmental error, correct him politely if you must but remain quiet if possible. What he does or does not think about you does not change what you are."

    "I don't have a Force-collar," Obi-Wan assured him. "I still need to show some improvement in my abilities or the Council might start suspecting that something is wrong."

    "What?"

    "If being pried of information you do not wish to reveal, then simply change the subject. Do NOT let it upset your balance."

    "The water outlets will be well guarded. If the overseers realize we're trying to escape that way, they'll take special precautions in stopping that from happening again."

    "And that's our only way out of here," Panaka agreed. "That's why we must be very careful in our timing." He paused. "I don't know much about the rote here."

    "There is no rote. However," Obi-Wan paused, listening to the Force, "we must wait until after I come back from the caves."

    "What caves?" Panaka asked in surprise.

    "The Merdan caves in the northern continent," said Obi-Wan simply. "I am taken to lead the Slave Masters to the diamonds every couple of months."

    The Naboo didn't say anything for a moment. Then he whispered, "If you can kill these?murderers, then you can escape."

    "I have no wish to escape.
     
  13. Monica_Skywalker

    Monica_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    Wow, those were wonderful posts! :D

    I can't wait to see what happens when Panaka and Obi-Wan escape! :)
     
  14. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Thanks Monica_Skywalker. More coming soon, I believe. :)

    EDIT: The next post was a little hard to write. I hope it's okay. :)

    Aunecah
     
  15. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Chapter Four
    [blockquote]To the respectful Masters of the Council:

    I trust everything is well and smooth there, as I wish it were here. I'm regretful to bring bad tidings.

    Though my colleagues and I have been working with Obi-Wan Kenobi for ten years, teaching him the wrongs of his actions, he remains adamant and pretentious. He had killed nearly fifty people in prison since he had arrived, without remorse or regret, half of them during the first year of his coming here. His murderous streak hasn't lessened any as of late, but our security measures seem to keep him at bay.

    It is my humble opinion that Obi-Wan Kenobi will never change.

    My Masters are always welcome to come here and recheck the validity of my words for themselves, should they choose to.

    Signed,
    Sadin Caninblat
    Overseer of Dimuna Prison Complex, Chief Jedi Master
    (click here to see full officiating documentation) [/blockquote]
    * * * * *

    "He isn't ready."

    It wasn't unusual for the Jedi Council to be meeting at 2300 standard hours, when the sun had long since sunk below the horizon and pulled down a canopy of diamond-studded darkness over the cityworld of Coruscant. What was unusual was for the Jedi to invite in a non-Council Master to participate in a Council discussion.

    After an entire day of restraint in controversial debates and discussions, the Jedi, except for Masters Yoda and Mace Windu, had decided to drop the formality and were now sitting on the floor instead of in their chairs. Qui-Gon Jinn was sitting on the floor, as well, leaning back against the wall right next to the door. Since the Council was now debating Qui-Gon's former apprentice, they had felt that it was only fitting to seek his input.

    Qui-Gon's shoulder-length hair caught the soft glow of the moonlight, making it appear as if he were a ghost from the icy worlds of Hoth rather than a Jedi Master who was very much alive. His skin was lined with age and worry, his brow furrowed with frustration, but it were his eyes that struck Mace Windu the most.

    For all the relative apathy that Qui-Gon projected through his countenance and via the Force, his eyes were blazing with anger that time seemed to have done little to dull. Suddenly, Mace wasn't so sure it was a good idea bringing Qui-Gon into the discussion. He had hoped that Qui-Gon would sway the vote in Obi-Wan's favor, but now he was positive that Qui-Gon would do just the opposite.

    "We haven't seen him in nearly an entire decade," Mace reminded Qui-Gon and the rest of the assembled Masters. "We can't be certain about anything."

    "I can," Qui-Gon mused out loud.

    Before Mace could step in, Qui-Gon added sadly, "Obi-Wan's habits wouldn't have changed. He's always been like that."

    "Master Qui-Gon, we're all aware of your position." This came from Depa Billaba, a Chalactan Jedi Master who also happened to be Mace's former apprentice. She was currently glaring at Qui-Gon, her beautiful face furrowed in a frown. "But I find it hard to believe that Obi-Wan won't change at all in ten years."

    "Obi-Wan wasn't your apprentice," Adi Gallia said before Qui-Gon could as much as open his mouth. "I think we should trust Master Qui-Gon to know his apprentice better than others."

    Depa's face hardened. But when she spoke, her voice was calm, albeit unflinchingly hard and brittle.

    "I have no reason to trust Master Qui-Gon any more than I would trust Master Yoda," she said. "Master's right: We have to remember that we haven't seen Obi-Wan in a decade. Any number of things could have happened to him."

    "Yes, but how much effect would they have on him?" Qui-Gon said. He looked at Mace. "Remember that incident in Bloody Fist?"

    Mace didn't answer immediately. When he had been thirteen, Obi-Wan had been captured by the Bushalian pirates, who had proceeded to addict him to a drug called Spice from Kessel so as to keep him from using the Force as well as keep him under their control. When Qui-Gon and Mace had finally managed to find Obi-Wan, they had had a hard time
     
  16. Monica_Skywalker

    Monica_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2002
    This just keeps getting more interesting with every post! :D

    Wonderful post! :)
     
  17. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Thanks Monica_Skywalker. I do try my best. I'm not sure, but there might be another post today. It'll go into detail about what Sadin will have Obi-Wan doing. :)

    Aunecah
     
  18. putsomeBactaonit

    putsomeBactaonit Jedi Youngling star 4

    Registered:
    May 2, 2003
    Great posts. I really likes the council meeting, I can totally see that happening, but I missed Yoda's insight. Surely I would have thought he'd have something to say about Obi-Wan.
     
  19. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I can see that you rewrote quite a bit of it. I'm also totally confused by it all but I'm sure it will become clear in time. I will be patient!

    Scary that Qui-Gon and Adi would both feel so much animosity towards Obi-Wan. I am assuming that he is innocent of killing Siri...?
     
  20. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    putsomeBactaonit: Thanks. Yoda didn't speak up for reasons that will be shown later. :)

    dian: Nice to have you onboard. And yes, I did rewrite quite a bit. Yes, I do hope the confusion will fade away soon because that's one of my objectives of this story: to make it less confusing. :)Exactly what are you confused about, anyway? Just curious.

    The next post will be coming in a couple of hours later. I have it all typed up, but I just want to reread it before posting.

    Thanks for reading. :) I was starting to wonder if my rewrite was worse than the previous one because so few people are reading it. :(

    Aunecah
     
  21. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    under the tutelage of Master Sadin and other Masters

    They think That Obi-Wan is being trained, not imprisoned? [face_shocked]
     
  22. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Kitara: Apparently so. :(

    I don't know - it's pretty late where I am. Do you want the next post now or tomorrow?

    Aunecah
     
  23. clark1016

    clark1016 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2001
    Quite a different beginning from your previous version of the story, but a very interesting one.
    Don't worry about which is better, just go with your story and it'll be great. The readers are there, they're just lurking.

     
  24. Aunecah_Skywalker

    Aunecah_Skywalker Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    Thanks clark1016. I was hoping that my readers would sort of come in and give me a wave because it definitely would cheer me up. My day hasn't exactly been going well, and hence the spill over of anxiety. :(

    I appreciate all those who took the time to reply.

    Since it's almost 9:00 where I'm at, I'll just say I'll post early tomorrow morning. :)

    Aunecah
     
  25. ObiKajanee

    ObiKajanee Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Aunecah, I am enjoying your new take on this story. Although I liked the other version just fine, I thought Obi-Wan was too beaten down and a bit of a door mat. His inner self in this one seems pretty strong, and more appealing. Of course, the day is young. I look forward to discovery.
     
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