main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

Beyond - Legends Timoritus (Mara Jade Skywalker Angst) **Complete** , Huge Thanks! 7/29

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ginchy, Dec 3, 2005.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Title: Timoritus
    Author: ginchy
    Rating: PG
    Category: Drama, Angst, Suspense
    Characters: Mara Jade Skywalker, Luke Skywalker, Ben Skywalker, assorted others.
    Summary: Mara awakens to find things aren?t as they were the day before? (And that, folks, is the world?s worst summary! LOL)

    A/N: This story is fairly dark, and I cannot even believe that I?ve written it, honestly. I much more the happiness and light sort of person. ;) But the idea hit me thanks to a challenge at the SJRS, and I couldn?t resist. I?m still working on later chapters, but the story is mapped out?I?m just a very, very slow writer.




    [i]Chapter 1:[/i]

    Mara awoke with a pounding headache, shutting her eyes quickly against the bright sunlight that was pouring in through the huge window that sat opposite the sofa she slept on. The light seemed somehow brighter than it normally would, the time of the morning at which she and Luke routinely woke. Mara rolled her neck, wincing as the action caused her already throbbing head to protest by sending a sharp pain down her spine. Looking at the chrono on the holovid unit she saw that it was late?nearly two hours later than she normally would wake. [i]Well, that explains the brightness of the morning, at least [/i] Mara thought, wondering how she had gotten such a bad headache if she actually had more sleep than she normally did. She chalked it up to the fact that she had spent the previous night on her sofa, and vowed to speak to Luke about buying a more comfortable settee.

    Mara sat up and stretched, feeling achy and out of sorts. She noted that the bedroom door stood open and was surprised to see Luke?s arm dangling from the side of the bed that she could barely make out from where she sat. Why had they slept so late? The family was exhausted to be sure, Ben had recently reached a stage where he was afraid of the dark and he had refused for a week or more to sleep in his own bed. Luke had finally gotten him back into his own room after a frustrating week of listening to the little boy snore, and of feeling his little knees and elbows burrow into their sides and backs. Luke had bought many night-lights in the shapes of different New Republic ships. Ben loved them, but the first night he had been sent back to his room they had found him camped out in a bedroll in front of their room, clutching 2 of the ship-shaped night-lights. But gradually he had begun to spend the night in his own room again?exhaustion probably having played some part in that. They were all only now beginning to catch up on their lost sleep.

    Mara rose from her bed and stumbled into the ?fresher, palming the light switch and foregoing a look in the mirror. Instead she fished out a few headache meds and decided to seek Luke out and have him help her reduce the pain. He seemed more adept at spontaneous healing than she. Mara was surprised that he hadn?t already awakened in response to her pain?their Force bond allowed them to be in constant contact with one another, and Luke, being known to be a bit overprotective of her, was always aware of when she was in pain.

    Through the pain of her pounding head, Mara could sense Luke, though his presence seemed a bit [i]off[/i] to her. She wondered what had caused it and decided it was probably the headache she was experiencing?never had she experience a headache to this degree. The meds didn?t seem to be working quite yet. [i]Perhaps Luke is sick too?[/i] she thought, trying to remember what they had done the night before.

    The previous night was a bit fuzzy to her, and that frightened Mara. [i]What had happened?[/i] Mara kept trying to remember, before she panicked. It couldn?t have been too bad, whatever it was, as she was here at home?with Luke, and Ben. Seeking to reassure herself Mara cast out with the Force, first touching Luke?s sense and sending a wave of love to him. Luke?s sense still seemed?off?almost as if he were far away, both physically and emotionally. No answering wave of love arrived, and ins>
     
  2. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    :eek:


    :_|


    WOW! I really don't know what to say!

    This is very, very good....I love it!

    Poor Mara, what an awful thing to go through. I can't even imagine...

    I can't wait for more!



     
  3. JEDIFLYSWATTER

    JEDIFLYSWATTER Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2004
    This is so sad!:_| Poor Mara has always had trouble with mental deamons, but to murder her sweet little boy. Plus, to kill Luke first so he can not protect his son or his lost mate. It is a real mess. What is up with her headache? Illness or maybe Luke got one good Force punch in[face_worried] Can not wait for more of the story and hopefully everything is a bad dream and Mara will wake up in Luke's arms.[face_praying]
     
  4. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Stop. A look. A witness. Never leave a witness.

    I think that's the line that really got me this time. Mara back in Emperor's Hand mode, unable to register that it was Ben. I can't imagine the guilt Mara must be feeling.

    I really can't say enough how much I love this story, angst and all!

    =D= =D=
     
  5. Jadie

    Jadie Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Oh my, oh my, oh my!!! :eek:

    What have you done ginchy??? :_| :_| :_|

    Not just Luke, but Ben and Leia?! :_|
     
  6. Chilla

    Chilla Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2005
    :eek: [face_worried] :_|
    No, Mara! How? Why?
     
  7. RedGold

    RedGold Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2004
    That's what we call a mental break...

    Damn.

    I'm another one hoping this is nothing but perhaps a Force induced dream to help her through her fear!
     
  8. AzulSaber

    AzulSaber Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 15, 2005
    Oh ginchster, this is so sad! :_|

    I really can't wait to see where you're going to take this, heartbreaking as it may be so far. I too vote for it to be a dream!

    Awesome and looking forward to more when you can get it up! =D=


     
  9. Feng_Huang

    Feng_Huang Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 17, 2005
    After reading this, I feel like I'm spending a winter holiday on Hoth [face_worried] Damn, that was horrible... but well written

    I just hope this is nothing more than a bad dream
     
  10. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

    I'm speechless...

    That was disturbing and heartbreaking.

    Well done!

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  11. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Stang, ginchy!! That's, like, the most evil plot bunny ever! :eek: I should check the SJRS board more often.

    Very well written, my friend. [:D]

    But such angst. Why did it have to be angst? :_|

    Oooh, I feel queasy......



     
  12. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    How did I miss this?! :eek:

    ginchy, like the majority, I'm speechless.:_| The first two chapters have left me cold and wondering what's next? A dream - er-nightmare is looking good.

    I'm trying to type more...but my fingers are "tongue tied". [face_worried]

     
  13. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    This is a big, giant UP!

    Are we gonna get anymore ginchy? [face_praying] Please say we are!
     
  14. ThePariah

    ThePariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2003
    Ho. Ly. Motherkriffer. :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

    Geez, ginchy, remind me never to piss you off! Imagine what you'd come up with then! [face_worried]

    This is an awesome fic, but man is it scary. And uber-depressing. *cries a river* :_| :_| :_|
     
  15. ZaraValinor

    ZaraValinor Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 31, 2002
    :eek: Oh my gosh this is incredible.

    My little Benny is dead? :_|

    Need more soon.
     
  16. SpiritofEowyn

    SpiritofEowyn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2005
    Wow. This is dark. I don't know who to say I feel sorry for most in this fic. At first I thought maybe Luke had fallen asleep on Ben from what you were saying in the beginning, and because it used to be a great fear among parents 100 years ago.. Did Palpatine make her do it, or was it personal demons?
    Well written but wow.
     
  17. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Hi, all! Sorry it's taken me so long with this update...hope it was worth the wait! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing...this little story is very personal to me and I'm glad you've found it worth reading.

    ****

    mavjade: This is very, very good....I love it!

    Poor Mara, what an awful thing to go through. I can't even imagine...


    Thank you! I know, I can?t believe I?ve done this to poor Mara. I?ll have to make it up to her somehow?Thanks for reading!

    JEDIFLYSWATTER : It is a real mess.

    Yes, I?ve created quite the mess! Eep! Thanks for reading--and I LOVE your username!

    JadeLotus: I really can't say enough how much I love this story, angst and all!

    Thank you for all your help and support with this fic. It?s meant so much to me! [:D]

    Jadie: What have you done ginchy???

    Jediflyswatter said it?I made a mess! Thank you for reading?I hope I can start to untangle the mess?.

    Chilla: No, Mara! How? Why?

    Thanks for reading! Some of the why will start to be revealed?

    RedGold: That's what we call a mental break...

    Damn.


    Yes, this is THE mental demon. Damn, is right! Thank you for reading, RG!

    AzulSaber: I really can't wait to see where you're going to take this, heartbreaking as it may be so far. I too vote for it to be a dream!

    Azulie! A dream?well?.you?ll have to read on! Thanks, gal!

    Feng_Huang: After reading this, I feel like I'm spending a winter holiday on Hoth?Damn, that was horrible... but well written?
    Imagine how I feel writing it?.winter holiday on Hoth, indeed! But thank you so much, your response means a lot to me!

    KELIA: That was disturbing and heartbreaking.

    Well done!


    Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

    Jedi Trace: Stang, ginchy!! That's, like, the most evil plot bunny ever! I should check the SJRS board more often.

    Very well written, my friend.


    Thank you so, so much! It is an evil plot-bunny?.the bunny has razor sharp teeth and has just sunk them into my skull. LOL?what an image.

    MirandaFair: ginchy, like the majority, I'm speechless?

    Thanks, Miranda! I?m so glad to have you reading!

    mavjade: Thank you for the up! [:D]

    ThePariah: Ho. Ly. Motherkriffer

    That about covers it, yeah? Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Always enjoy your replies to threads!

    ZaraValinor: Oh my gosh this is incredible.

    Thank you so much! :)

    SpiritofEowyn: Did Palpatine make her do it, or was it personal demons?
    Well written but wow.


    Thank you!! I think you?ll get some of the reasoning behind Mara?s actions in this chapter?.

    And to everyone who read: [:D]

    ****

    A HUGE thank you to JadeLotus who looked this over for me, and has been so supportive and helpful throughout the writing of this fic! You're awesome, lady! And another HUGE thank you to my friend Ana for the inspiration for FEAR, in the grime. Thanks for your encouragement, gal!

    ****

    Timoritus, Chapter 3

    Mara knew the time of her execution was at hand, the muted sounds of her guard?s boots walking the grimy hallway outside her door told her as much. She remained seated on her cot, eyes closed, listening to the dull clip-clomp of approaching boot heels and the harsh forced-air coming from her cell?s air vents.

    Mara?s mind was in overdrive. Hearing Luke?s voice, during Jaina?s visit, had reopened her mind, removing her self-imposed barriers. All she could do, it seemed, was remember--the warmth and thrill of Luke?s gentle touch, and the pleasant ache she would feel deep within her throat when Ben would wrap his pudgy arms around her neck and tell her that he loved her, his Mommy.

    A single tear fell down Mara?s face at the idea of what she had taken, from the galaxy, from her famil
     
  18. MirandaFair

    MirandaFair Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2005
    *gives a second look* Yes! An update! Will respond...but 1st must snag the top response. ;)

    ****

    edit: So interesting...even in a GFFA, there's capital punishment.

    The small wind created form the door?s opening swirled the dust on the floor, and it seemed to Mara, for a moment, that she saw the word FEAR outlined in the grime collected there.

    Ooo-I'm a sucker for symbolism. Loved the parallel between Chapter 2, Luke and Ben being reduced to dust and the dust on the floor. Definitely reminded me of a chilling Stephen King moment. I'm still trying to warm up from that part. [face_coffee]

    Of course they have ysalmiri <sp?> in the room with Mara. Any chance of her becoming one with the Force are now null? [face_thinking] [face_worried]

    Mara couldn't have done it...just when I'm asking myself when will she awaken from this nightmare, you hit us with a dozy! :eek:

    Mara tuned him out, mind in overdrive. Poison, fear?NOT death?she hadn?t murdered?

    Can't begin to think what this all means. ginchy, [Vader voice] Most impressive![/Vader voice]:eek:@};-
     
  19. Kidan

    Kidan TFN EU Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2003
    woah.

    just woah.
     
  20. SpiritofEowyn

    SpiritofEowyn Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2005
    8-} I'm SOO confused. Is it a dream? Is she dying of Poison and all of this is a result of that? wha? What does she mean she didn't murder? Is she delusional?


    ACK! Post! Post!
     
  21. RedGold

    RedGold Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 29, 2004
    I'm confused too... but it's a good kind of confused...

    next chapter soon??
     
  22. Feng_Huang

    Feng_Huang Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Apr 17, 2005
    Reading about Mara going to her execution was chilling. [face_worried]
    What was that poison? Update soon! We have to know![face_praying]
     
  23. ThePariah

    ThePariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2003
    ZOMG! UPDATE!!! :eek: *clings madly to update*

    Dude. I think you just turned my brain into a pretzel with that chapter. 8-}
     
  24. Chilla

    Chilla Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2005
    Woah! :eek: That's an incredible post. So exciting, can't wait for more! Please, could you Pm me then? [face_batting]
     
  25. mavjade

    mavjade It's so FLUFFY! Fanfic Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    I agree with Kidan.... Woah!

    She had no doubts that Ben had become one with the Force, perhaps he had been greeted by Luke's father and his cousin, Anakin, with kisses. Luke...Luke would surely take that path, as well, once he breathed his last. He deserved no less.
    This part really got me... I had tears running down my face! Especially "He deserved no less." Just... WOW! Amazingly written!

    "Momma!" Ben called out to her,"Momma
    Mara stared, almost unseeing at her life--her husband and her child--sat before her, separated from her by the thick transparisteel.

    Seeing them as she is about to die... that broke my heart! And then her 'last words' being Luke, Ben... :_|

    The droid spoke,"Begin administering..."
    Mara tuned him out, mind in overdrive. Poison, fear NOT death she hadn't murdered...
    Mara blinked.

    :eek:


    :eek:

    You're going to leave us hanging there??? How evil!

    This is amazing, ginchy!

    I can't wait for the next part! (Which is the last?? That makes me sad!)


     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.