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Saga To Kneel Before My Master : A Vader Vignette

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Gina, Nov 29, 2004.

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  1. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003

    Title: To Kneel Before My Master
    Timeframe: ESB era
    Characters: Anakin/Vader
    Genre: Vignette


    This one is a little?strange?but I decided to post it anyway.



    To Kneel Before My Master



    I have been summoned.

    My heavy bootsteps echo eerily along the ship's corridor as I make my way to my destination.

    It is a slow, deliberate sound, for I am not hurried.

    I know what awaits me at the end of my journey.

    It is the same fate that has been mine since I was a mere child.


    ********


    "You are a waste of food rations."

    The small boy stared at the ground as he knelt before him, knowing better than to look up into the Toydarian's face during his tirades. His dirty knees throbbed as the hot sand seeped its way into the cuts and scrapes he had received during the crash. He longed to stand, to ease the searing pain, but he knew it would only make the coming punishment much worse.

    "It wasn't my fault, Watto ? Master," he amended with a flinch. Now was not the time to try the creature's patience. "Kataris' Podracer was too close to me when it went out of control. I tried to avoid it ?"

    "You obviously didn't try hard enough! Your incompetence cost me a fortune."

    The master flitted around the boy, taunting him with the whip he held in his grimy grasp. The beatings did not come often, but when they did?

    The boy heard a stifled sob and risked a glance at the doorway. His mother was standing in the shadows, crying, her face filled with pain and sadness as she mumbled a prayer of deliverance for her son.

    "I'll be all right, Mama. Please, don't cry," the boy whispered to her in his mind as he clenched his eyes shut, anticipating the blows to come.


    ***********



    My step slows even further, and I wince involuntarily as I hear the little boy's cries of pain and the mother's screams for mercy echoing in my head and feel the agony of the whip against my skin, its sting as real as if I were once again kneeling in that Force-forsaken hovel on Tatooine.

    I shake my head viciously, trying to clear it of the unwelcome memory.

    In an effort to calm myself, I pause to stare out the ship's massive windows, gazing numbly at the countless worlds stretched out before me.

    Worlds that small boy could only dream of seeing, until?


    ***********


    "Anakin, when are you going to learn that your childish games and foolishness have no place in the Temple?"

    "I'm sorry, Master Obi-Wan." The boy's voice expressed the exasperation he felt each time they had this confrontation. He occupied his mind by watching the older man's boots, always polished to an impeccable sheen, as they paced back and forth in front of him.

    The boy was growing at an alarming pace, and he shifted awkwardly, trying in vain to contain his lanky limbs beneath him, his chilled knees and legs aching as he knelt against the cold, hard floor of his small quarters. He had never been able to fully acclimate his body to the cooler temperatures of this planet and the Jedi Temple.

    "Your apologies hold little validity when you continue to repeat your mistakes, my young Padawan. The Council has lost all patience, and it is only through my impassioned pleading on your behalf that you are still in the Jedi Order."

    "But they were teasing me again, Master. They called me a slave boy," he tried desperately to defend his actions.

    "You must learn to control your anger, young one, regardless of the provocation. For your punishment, you will spend the remainder of your recreation time in meditation on how you may make better use of your time and skills." The Jedi Master sighed heavily. "I am only trying to help you, Anakin, but you must first be willing to help yourself."

    "Yes, Master. Thank you. I will try harder, I promise."


    ***********



    "I did try harder," I whisper, the words resonating along the corridor, "but it was never good enough."

    A trooper stationed at his post turns to look at me as I approach his position, his helmet tilted in curiosity
     
  2. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oh Gina you've outdone yourself on this one!! This is awesome!! Loved the flashbacks and what each represent! Poor Vader/Anakin :( I feel sooo sorry for him. For in a way he is right. He never did :(

    And with Luke he could have ruled (if he would have joined the DS hehehe) and others WOULD have bowed before him instead!

    Great job!! =D=
     
  3. Jedikma

    Jedikma Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I like this, too. It was eerie and sad at the same time. All the pain Vader (Anakin) suffered in the past and the misguided idea that he will corrupt his son and rule.

    Now I'm having trouble putting into words what I want to say, but I loved this.

    Excellent viggie and beautifully written!!!

    ~Jedikma :)
     
  4. kristeh

    kristeh Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 24, 2003
    How beautiful and sad, Gina! You've captured all Anakin's/Vader's pain and longing so poignantly. In spite of his wrong decisions, I can't help but feel so sorry for him. Thankfully, Luke helped to free him in the end.

    Kristeh
     
  5. _JM_

    _JM_ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 26, 2001
    Poor Vader, he never did manage to win, he was always a slave to some master. At least during the purges he probably managed to get revenge on the nasty little brats that called him ?slave boy? (bloody Obi-Wan and his tight arse attitude, his padawan gets bullied and he berates him further).

    Feel sorry enough for Vader I almost wish that Luke had joined him, though he was probably better off and happier being redeemed and joining the brotherhood of Jedi in the force.
     
  6. Jazz_Skywalker

    Jazz_Skywalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2002
    Wow, lovely viggie, Gina! I liked that in every flashback, Anakin/Vader was always in the kneeling position.

    Uppies!

    JS
     
  7. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    That was amazing! Beautiful and chilling, and overwhelmingly sad.

    Incredible, simply incredible! I can't even begin to pick out my favorite part.
     
  8. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2002
    :_| Okay, where are the tissues when you need them? I don't cry too often in fanfic, but this one got me. :( Literally.

    Great vignette, Gina.

    I loved the first part especially. There is something in this that makes me wish Qui-Gon had lived... :_|

     
  9. BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon

    BrokenNoseOfQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 15, 2004
    That was fantastic! A stellar Vader vignette!
     
  10. Ailowyn

    Ailowyn Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2003
    I think this is one of the best vignettes I've ever read. Maybe it's the fact that Vader is my favorite character of all time talking, but I don't think so.

    It cuts to the core of the character, and explains Vader's motivations perfectly without even seeming to try to do so.

    Simply put, it makes me want to go see what else you've written in the past. :)
     
  11. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    The words come easily.

    I have had a lifetime of practice.


    :_|

    Beautiful and sad! :_| Well done!
     
  12. Ana_Labris

    Ana_Labris Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 31, 2000
    *claps and cheers*
    Perfect! Perfect! It is often overlooked, but Vader truely does feel that lust for revenge, if he didn't he wouldn't be as formidable. He wouldn't be a Dark Lord..
    Perfect!
     
  13. MistiWhitesun

    MistiWhitesun Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 16, 2004
    [whistle]

    Great job! :D

    Even when he's made the connection to being a slave and wants a way out, he still doesn't recognize his invisible master?

    Keep writing! :)
     
  14. DreamOfKenobi

    DreamOfKenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2004
    I don't think this is strange at all, I think it's perfect!
     
  15. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    great story, Gina! so true, and so tragic. [shakes head] poor Ani
     
  16. LukesTheMan

    LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2004
    That was really amazing. You've outdone yourself with this one. I don't think it is strange at all, it's brilliant, that's what it is.
     
  17. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003
    Thanks for reading everyone! [face_love]


    Kynstar

    Oh Gina you've outdone yourself on this one!!

    [face_blush] Awww! Thank you so much, Kynstar. I really appreciate that!

    I feel sooo sorry for him. For in a way he is right. He never did

    You're right, he didn't. He just went from one "master" situation to the next, always thinking that the next time would be better. Although, probably few other Padawans looked upon their situation the way Anakin did. But again, I believe his problems there stemmed from his background and situation.


    Jedikma

    Now I'm having trouble putting into words what I want to say, but I loved this.

    LOL! That's all right. The same thing happened to me when I was commenting on "A New Order." I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't explain it. :p

    Thanks so much for your comments. I'm glad you liked it! :)


    kristeh

    In spite of his wrong decisions, I can't help but feel so sorry for him.

    I know. To me, that's the thing about the prequels (which I love, btw, so this isn't a criticism of those films :p ). Before, when we grew up with the OT, Vader was just this mean villain ? pure and simple. At the end of ROTJ, we got a glimpse of the man inside (no pun intended) and felt a little sympathy. But now, with the prequels, everything has changed. You can't just look at him as a villain anymore. You can't help but feel sorry for him and the way his past haunted him and helped lead to his fall. Oh, well, I'll stop rambling now.

    Thanks so much for reading, kristeh! :D


    _JM_

    Poor Vader, he never did manage to win, he was always a slave to some master.

    Exactly! I think in his mind, going into the Jedi Order was just another form of slavery (thanks in part I'm sure to Palpy making him believe as much). Then, again with the Emperor, he still must answer to a master.

    Thanks, _JM_! :)


    Jazz_Skywalker

    Hi, there!

    I liked that in every flashback, Anakin/Vader was always in the kneeling position.

    Thanks! That was what I really wanted to come across in this, the idea that his entire life was spent "kneeling" before his master. Glad you liked the flashbacks! :D


    VaderLVR64

    [face_blush] Thank you! That is such a nice compliment, and it really means a lot to me. :)


    rhonderoo

    I don't cry too often in fanfic, but this one got me.

    Thank you! :) I take that as quite a compliment!

    There is something in this that makes me wish Qui-Gon had lived...

    I, too, often wonder how different things might have been had Qui-Gon lived.

    Thanks again, rhonderoo!


    BrokenNoseofQui-Gon

    That was fantastic! A stellar Vader vignette!

    [face_blush] Thank you very much! That is very flattering, and I appreciate it. [face_blush]

    Glad you enjoyed it!


    Ailowyn

    I think this is one of the best vignettes I've ever read. It cuts to the core of the character, and explains Vader's motivations perfectly without even seeming to try to do so.

    Wow! I am truly flattered. Thank you so much for your kind words! :D


    leia_naberrie

    Thank you! :D

    Those are my favorite lines, as well.


    Ana_Labris

    It is often overlooked, but Vader truely does feel that lust for revenge, if he didn't he wouldn't be as formidable. He wouldn't be a Dark Lord..

    Well put!

    Thank you so much for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! :)


    MistiWhitesun

    Thank you! :D

    Even when he's made the connection to being a slave and wants a way out, he still doesn't recognize his invisible master?

    And that's what makes his story even more sad? :(


    DreamOfKenobi

    Thank you! [face_blush] That's very kind!


    SarkaVrae

    Thank you very much! :D


    LukesTheMan

    Wow! You made me blush. That is such a compliment. Thank you so much! :D


     
  18. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    Gina, that was wonderful, and sad. You've really captured the pain that Anakin has gone through. All those images from the past culmunating in that moment. Beautiful job! =D=
     
  19. karebear214

    karebear214 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 7, 2002
    Well, you've done it. You've made me feel sorry for Vader, and like other people have said, almost made me wish Luke had joined him. But then, I guess the dark side is still, well, dark. Evil. And wrong. This piece, while short, could be thought about for a long, long time. Bravo.
     
  20. Kazzy

    Kazzy Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 17, 2002
    Once a slave, always a slave. In one way or another Anakin has always been forced to kneel before someone. It's only right that at the end he should plot to be the one in control, the one with all the power. It's a pity he looks at it the wrong way, but it's probably just a reflection of his background.

    Greta viggie! :)
     
  21. DreamOfKenobi

    DreamOfKenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2004
    I can see why this got nommed! A masterpiece! You made me feel Vader's pain. Awesome!
     
  22. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    I've been counting votes for this little viggie and decided to see for myself what made it so good ;) Congrats on the noms!


    Wow -- that was truly a brilliant piece of work. Anakin's characterizations throughout each stage of his life here were perfectly shown and seamlessly woven together. But it was so sad! I almost cried... what a great story -- even if it was sad... could someone pass the tissues? :_|
     
  23. Gina

    Gina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2003

    Thanks so much to those who nominated this piece in the Saga Awards. [face_love] [face_love]


    tangled_sphere

    Thank you! :D

    I'm glad you liked the flashbacks.


    karebear214

    Well, you've done it. You've made me feel sorry for Vader

    I take that as a great compliment, and I thank you. :D

    This piece, while short, could be thought about for a long, long time. Bravo.

    Again, thank you so much! [face_blush]


    Kazzy

    It's a pity he looks at it the wrong way, but it's probably just a reflection of his background.

    I agree. I believe most Padawans didn't consider themselves as "slaves." But for Anakin, the restrictions, having to obey and answer to a Jedi Master, probably seemed like just another form of the slavery he had already endured.

    Thanks so much for your comments, Kazzy! :)


    DreamOfKenobi

    I can see why this got nommed! A masterpiece! You made me feel Vader's pain. Awesome!

    [face_blush] Wow! You made me blush. [face_blush] Thank you so much.


    Layren

    Wow -- that was truly a brilliant piece of work. Anakin's characterizations throughout each stage of his life here were perfectly shown and seamlessly woven together.

    Thank you very much! I am very flattered by your comments. [face_blush] [face_blush]

     
  24. SkalenFehl

    SkalenFehl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2003
    In the immortal words of Bill and Ted...


    "Whooooa..."

    "Excellent!"

    I really love this little story. It never occured to me how Anakin really never had a chance, passing from one form of servitude to another until finally the love of a son saved him.

    You give credit to George Lucas' vision of redemption in the entire saga. Wonderfully written. Beautiful perspective! I wish I'd written it! :p

    I give this a 10!
     
  25. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 1999
    Oh wow...

    Intense.



    This part in particular - I think I must've read it five times in a row just to absorb it:

    I have knelt before them all, each one a promised deliverance from the last.

    It was a deliverance that never came.


    That's just...perfect.



    Incredible vignette!
     
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