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Before - Legends To Serve My Master- a Story of the Sith- Dark Obi-Wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Oct 1, 2004.

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  1. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Kynstar You and your Dooku! Of course, I'm no better where Obi is concerned! Glad you liked it.

    SarkaVrae Explanation is in this chapter. Thanks for still reading!

    SilSolo More about Tahl's death later. In the books she died as result of injuries when she was kidnapped. THanks for reading.

    LukesTheMan Now would I do that? [face_devil] Perhaps! Thanks for reading!

    JediMaster_Jen Anakin is SO hard to write in this story, but he is sweet. Gotta love him! Thanks!

    AthenaLeigh We'll have to wait and se why, or IF, Qui killed Tahl. More to come on that!

    SenatorLeia_73 His reaction will be interesting, I'm sure! :D

    LuvEwan Obi has a lot to think about...

    VadersMistress Yes, the MOMMY voice works well, but not on Qui!

    jeday Secrets are never secret for long!

    obi_ew I'd love to do a story like that. Do you want them "light" or "dark?" I take requests! :D

    Kinwon Thanks for reading. I think Anakin just wormed his way into Obi's heart, which could be bad news!

    Master_Noi Ani may be a bit too young to know why Obi did that. We'll see! Thanks for reading!

    Layren [face_whistling] I'm not telling...yet! Thanks for reading.

    tangled_sphere All I can say is that no one is safe. Even though I've got the last chapter written, they could surprise me and want to kill off somebody I didn't expect! :D

    DreamOfKenobi We shall have to see what this does to Obi. Thanks for reading!

    Jemmiah Thank you! I like being evil...at least in a GFFA!







    Chapter 21


    Master Yoda sat quietly in the Healer?s Ward. Mace Windu still had a long way to go to recover from his injuries, although each day brought some small improvement in his condition. He was now propped up with pillows in his bed, and Yoda heard an impatient growl come from the mass of bandages.

    ?I tell you, I?m fine,? Mace insisted yet again.

    ?Fine you are not, still weak from your injuries,? the small Jedi Master declared. ?Tell you when you are recovered, the Healers will.?

    Another growl, although this one sounded more resigned than angry. ?At least tell me what?s going on then. I?ll go mad from boredom if I don?t have something to occupy my mind.?

    ?Very well, but rest you must.?

    ?All right, I promise,? Mace promised swiftly.

    ?Found Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, Dooku has,? Yoda began.

    ?What?? Mace sat up straight. ?When? Why didn?t you tell me sooner??

    ?Calm yourself, or leave I will,? Yoda threatened in the voice Mace remembered from his days in the creche.

    The tall Master settled back to mollify Master Yoda. Yoda gave a grunt of satisfaction and then tapped his gimer stick slowly.

    ?Found them he has. Confront them he is going to, and cut off communications he has,? Yoda?s voice revealed how troubled he was.

    ?Cut off communication? What is Dooku thinking??

    ?Thinking to save his Padawan, he is,? Yoda said with a slow nod of his head.

    Mace flopped back against the wall with a groan. ?Going to get himself killed, he is,? he said.

    Yoda chuckled at his phrasing. ?Perhaps,? he agreed. ?Wait and see we shall have to.?

    ?What?s happening in other parts of the galaxy??

    Yoda?s ears flattened back and he was silent for a long moment. ?Not good is the news,? he said. ?More Jedi are lost or attacked each day. Recall them to the Temple we should, until this crisis has passed.?

    The injured man thought about Yoda?s words before he ventured an opinion. ?Perhaps we should consider that the Sith have hit upon a weakness of the Order.? He stared at his friend and mentor. ?And maybe we ought to go about correcting that weakness ourselves.?

    ?What mean you??

    Mace shifted uneasily, his expression hidden behind the swathe of bandages. ?Perhaps it is time that the Order itself changed.?

    Yoda?s large eyes narrowed in thought. ?Discuss this another time we will. But more disturbing news there is.?

    ?What??

    ?Reports of Obi-Wan traveling with a boy,? Yoda said. ?Ma
     
  2. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Community Squirrel Whisperer star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    WHA??? Qui-Gon killed Tahl? Intriguing!

    ?Always a rebel, Qui-Gon has been,? Yoda said. ?Count on him to remain that way we should.? -- this struck me as itronically funny, being that Qui is sith and all. [face_laugh] Perhaps the light can save the small boy.

    Superb posts [b[]VaderLVR!![/b]
     
  3. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Going to get himself killed, he is

    That line cracked me up. [face_laugh] Windu is fuuny, whether he tries to be or not.

    Anakin--good boy, reach for that light and hold on tight little man. It'll save you.

    I adore how you write Anakin in this story. Your characterization of him is perfect. He's curious like a small child always is, but he's also aware that something isn't right--he just has no idea what except for that he feels scared and sad. Terrific writing for a small child. Bravo. =D=


     
  4. Kinwon

    Kinwon Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2004
    He he, I imagine every Jedi who grew up in the Temple with Yoda around feels the need to imitate him every once and a while, hmm?

    I loved your scene with Anakin and the light in this post, the characterization was very well done, and I imagine that yes, the light really does like him, especially since he's the Chosen One- now in bite sized, innocent form.
     
  5. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Hehehe yeah that's Mace all right ;) gotta be at the center of knowing what's up! hehehehe

    Oi! They know of Anakin now, uh oh... not good.

    And poor Anakin...so confused! Well he's actually got the idea of grasping the Force! Great job Ani!! :D :D

    Can't wait for more! Loved the 'Always a rebel' about Qui hehehehe

    *Crosses fingers* hopefully Dooku can help Obi 'see the light' but who knows! ;)
     
  6. VadersMistress

    VadersMistress Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 7, 2004
    Little Anakin is so cute! I just want to rush in there and rescue him. Don't let anything bad happen to him, including becoming a SITH!
     
  7. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Loved that Anakin found the light and grabbed ahold of it so tightly!! A little foreshadowing, perhaps...?

    I'm glad you brought Mace & Yoda back into the story....and I'm rather intrigued by Mace's frankness that the Order needs to change--love it! They do seem so blind in the movies, don't they?

    Bravo!
     
  8. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    I love Anakin. I would say you gave us a clue as to the end by saying the light loves Anakin, but I've discovered you're an evil author [face_devil] so I won't make any assumptions. Great post.
     
  9. Jemmiah

    Jemmiah Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2000
    ROFLOL at Windu's imitation of Yoda, and the latter's threat to leave if Mace didn't lie still in his bed and rest! And little Anakin seems to be instinctively drawn to the light: I think he's going to need it! But now it seems Yoda and Mace know of Anakin's existence. Is there going to be a galactic tug-of-war over the exceptionally force-talented boy?

    Can't wait to find out what happens next! :D
     
  10. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003

    ?Always a rebel, Qui-Gon has been,? Yoda said. ?Count on him to remain that way we should.?


    Some things never change! [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Excellent post, kimberley!
     
  11. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Very neat scene with Anakin finding the light. I feel so bad for the confused little guy.

    I agree with Mace, Dooku needs to be very, very careful, especially if he's cut communications.
     
  12. DreamOfKenobi

    DreamOfKenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2004
    Anakin is adorable! I agree, great characterization of a child. Looking forward to the confrontation between Dooku, Qui, and Obi.
     
  13. AthenaLeigh

    AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2004
    Heeheehee, so Anakin is very Lightside. I don't think Qui-Gon would be very happy about that. *squeak* But he's so cute! And good that Mace is recovering. He seems to have the right idea about reforming the Jedi, not that I'm cheering for the Jedi. ;) I like the line about Qui-Gon always being a rebel. At least they haven't forgotten that. Mwahaha!
     
  14. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Mace had an informant watching Obi on Tatooine?
     
  15. Senator_Leia73

    Senator_Leia73 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 2003
    Aww Ani is so cute. I like this little Ani. :D That is really sad he misses his mom and he has no idea that she is dead. :_| could Qui use that to make him angery? Hmmm...

    I forgot about Mace. hehe oops. Glad that he is doing better. :D
     
  16. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    This story is just wicked. I can't think of anything more to say! :)
     
  17. LukesTheMan

    LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2004
    Very evil author alert on this one! I'm anxiously awaiting their confrontation.
     
  18. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Nice to see Master Windu say that famous line. I guess Ani won't become Vader in this one and I'm still upset about Shmi's death.
     
  19. The_Hutt

    The_Hutt Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Man, Qui killed Tahl? I sense some serious need for therapy, yeesh. The guy should accept some responsability. Poor Obi-Wan! Save him, Dooku, and slap some sense into Qui! Also, I really liked the scene with Anakin's first intentional brush with the force. Very sweet! Don't think Qui is going to agree with me though...
     
  20. Odd-Thomas

    Odd-Thomas Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 2004
    I haven't been able to read for awhile and a lot happened! Great story, Qui is just too evil, I can't handle it! [face_worried]

    Little Ani is cute, though I'm worried about him now.

    I can't figure Obi out! More soon?
     
  21. tangled_sphere

    tangled_sphere Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    I just love the way you write little Ani! :) I am worried about him too. Glad that Yoda is gaining knowledge of the death of his mother and that something is going on with Qui. He is a rebel even for the Sith! I love it. ;)

    But when Anakin reaches out for the light and it accepts him, that was beautiful VL!
     
  22. AngelofDarkness

    AngelofDarkness Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 25, 2002
    At least Yoda and Mace are on the case, as well, even if Dooku did sever communications :p

    The scene with Anakin reaching for the light and it loving him back... beautiful! I swear I think I actually pulled an "awwwww" reading that, lol!
     
  23. son-of-kenobi

    son-of-kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 2004
    great post, lol, qui always a rebel lol..... hmm, mace is looking to the future...great story, newie soon?? please!!
     
  24. Jedi_Chani

    Jedi_Chani Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2004
    I hope you'll be updating this one soon! :D
     
  25. Kenwalker

    Kenwalker Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 14, 2004
    I've been reading for the past couple of days when time permitted, and this is one awesome fic :D I love evil Sith Obi-Wan and little Anakin, and your Qui-Gon gives me the creeps. I am so hooked it's not even funny :p ;)
     
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