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Before - Legends To Serve My Master- a Story of the Sith- Dark Obi-Wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Oct 1, 2004.

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  1. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Evil, Ruthless Qui. Knew the Rodian was dead - but expected a Force choke. Lightining was great.

    I wonder what is store for Master Windu?[face_thinking]
     
  2. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Again, this is a GREAT story! Loved you showing off Qui's evil tendencies & Obi's musings! LOVED IT! More, more, more!!!
     
  3. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Making both Qwi-Gonn and Obi-Wan evil is awesome!
     
  4. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    OH, the two of them seems almost unstoppable. I loved that the Sith Lord Jinn was playing with his victim.. and then Obi-Wan contemplating bringing down the Jedi with rumors and lies.

    Great job. Looking forward to more!
     
  5. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Qui gives me the willies.

    Great story VaderLVR.
     
  6. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    SenatorHermione Thank you! I'll take the dark and twisted as a compliment!

    Healer_Leona Yes, Mace's comment reminds me of the Chinese curse "May you live in interesting times." This story does continue to plague. I'm not sure it's any good, but it's getting written! Rumors will be a good foundation for their efforts to eliminate the Jedi. THey're sneaky that way.Thanks for reading!

    Kynstar Obi has impeccable shields, at least he'd better! :D Thanks for reading.

    Jedi_Chani The Sith tend to be pretty tough graders. And there's no curve! Thanks!

    jeday Qui-Gon is pretty nasty, isn't he? Thank you for reading!

    LukesTheMan Yep, Qui has really embraced the darkness. Thank you for reading this twisted tale.

    Master_Noi Well the lightning is so much more dramatic! Especially to show off to a room full of people. Thanks for stopping by!

    SarkaVrae Thank you! I'm glad you like it. I know it's really weird, so I was a little worried.

    SilSolo They make pretty good Siths, don't they? Thanks for reading!

    dianethx Qui-Gon doesn't play well with others, does he? I still love him, even in Sith Mode. Thanks for reading.

    JediMaster_Jen Thank you! I wanted him to give you the willies. [face_devil]

     
  7. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    ?You see, Dorgo, that spy was mine, sent out to test the loyalty of my subjects.? Qui-Gon threw back his cloak and rested his hand on his lightsaber. ?And you failed the test.? He brought his hands up and lightening flashed the length of the audience chamber, striking Dorgo square in the chest.

    The Rodian had time to scream once and then was writhing on the ground. It took only a few moments and his struggles stopped.

    The Sith met the eyes of every guard and servant in the room. ?Remember what happens when you fail the test.?


    Wow! Evil Qui is just really...well EVIL! Love the story, though.
     
  8. Odd-Thomas

    Odd-Thomas Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 14, 2004
    Very cool and dark story. I never thought of these two as Sith before, but it is surprisingly easy to picture now.
     
  9. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I hope no one is getting bored. I know I spend a lot of time examining Obi-Wan's thoughts, but I just to understand what he's thinking. WHY he turned to the Dark Side. Anyway, more action is about to start in the next post or so. And Mace will continue to play a large role, for now anyway! [face_devil]


    Chapter 5

    The Sith apprentice sat silently in the darkness once more. Master Dooku was at the evening meal, but the young man had asked to stay in the apartment and meditate. His Master had given his permission gladly, and so young Obi-Wan found himself alone.

    He savored these solitary moments. It was only away from the Jedi, those guardians of the Light side of the Force, that he could feel comfortable and at peace. During these quiet hours he would refresh himself by delving into the shadows his Master had shown him.

    Now, surrounded by the cool darkness, he shuddered to think of how he might have wasted his whole life as a Jedi. He could have passed the endless years as a mindless servant, obeying every whim of a Council that did not really care what became of him. They did not care if he was happy or fulfilled in his role a Jedi. They had proven that with their treatment of his Master. Qui-Gon had been brave enough to break away from everything familiar he had known all of his life, and Obi-Wan had been persuaded to do the same.

    One day he would be able to proudly proclaim his title as a Sith apprentice. There would come a time when the galaxy would acknowledge the power and glory that belonged only to the Sith. He and his Master would not apologize for their power, or beg for crumbs from those in high office. They would rule the galaxy, and would do what the Jedi had not managed to do in thousands of years; they would bring peace.

    He felt fierce pride as he contemplated what they would be able to accomplish. To know he would be partially responsible for ridding the universe of the Jedi, and bringing it the first real, long-lasting peace it had ever known, awed him. He felt a single tear slip down his cheek as he thought once again how lucky he was that Master had picked him out of all the Force Sensitives to be his honored apprentice.

    Soon, they would be able to lead their lives out in the open. They would not have to hide behind lies and masks. He would not have to sully himself by living among the Jedi anymore. The Jedi would be gone.

    From where he sat, he flung open the thick curtains that blocked off the city lights. He gazed out at the glowing night sky and sent a wave of love and gratitude to his Master. His Master did not acknowledge the call, but love for him welled up in the young man?s heart. He rocked himself back and forth, tears of joy soaking his tunic as Obi-Wan murmured his thanks to the man who had made him a Sith.


    ********************************


    Obi-Wan approached Master Windu, his face appropriately solemn and concerned. ?You summoned me, Master Windu?? He said, after a very low and proper bow.

    Mace sighed mentally as he looked at the young Padawan. Something about the boy disturbed him, but his behavior was always proper, impeccable even. Perhaps that is what bothered him. The boy was now perfect, a model apprentice. But the Obi-Wan Mace knew had not been perfect. He had been a prankster, smart, funny, talented, and exasperating. But not perfect.

    ?Yes, Padawan Kenobi,? he said smoothly, his face revealing nothing of his troubling thoughts. ?I would like you to accompany me on a short mission to the planet Tatooine.? He smiled at the boy, hoping it appeared warm and not uneasy. ?Your Master has graciously given me permission to take you, if you are agreeable.?

    Obi-Wan hesitated only a moment and then bowed once more. ?Of course, Master, I am honored that you would request my presence.? He smiled shyly. ?And I thank my Master for this opportunity to work with such an esteemed Jedi Master.?

    Mace tried very hard to ignore the cold shiver that run up his spine at the young man?s words. Again, he was
     
  10. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Wowzers the self punishment was interesting!

    Poor Obi... but he is doing it himself due to him doubting Qui.

    *snrk* Mace suspects nothing truly bad hehehehe ahhh but the troll does! Listen well you should, Mace Windu! hehehe

    Great chappie :D
     
  11. CapNJaxWench

    CapNJaxWench Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2004
    That Obi-Wan is one devoted apprentice! Yikes! There is a real edge of almost addiction to Obi's actions. Interesting how you've created two Sith out of two very noble Jedi. What a sick, sick lady you are! [face_devil]

    Love the story, but that probably says something terrible about me, too.
     
  12. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Wow Kimberley. I'm just now getting around to reading the Dark Obi fics. My padawan told me this one was good so I decided to read it :D Wow excellent job! Qui-Gon as a sith is very very interesting -- as was the appearence of Dooku. It's kind of strange not to see Dooku being evil instead of Qui-Gon lol but good :) Great job! I'll be looking for the next part!
     
  13. solojones

    solojones Winner, JCC Two Truths & A Lie star 10 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Sep 27, 2000
    Ahhh, such clever, clever ideas! It's like taking everything we know and switching it around. Dooku is a Jedi, Qui-Gon is a Sith, Xan was a lightsider. Whew. I don't know where you come up with this stuff, but it's great. I'm interested to see where you take it. For one thing, I don't think Mace is being completely fooled by Obi-Wan. That might result in something... confrontational ;)


    [hl=darkgreen]-sj loves kevin spacey[/hl]
     
  14. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    yeah! a new post!
    Man you're good! Obi is so sub-servient!! Very good potrayal of the whole Sith Lord/Sith apprentice relationship. It's all about dominance.

    VaderLvr--I can't get this story out of my head!! I love it! Good work!
     
  15. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Oh, this is getting scary. Poor Obi-Wan, so delusional. I can just picture Qui-Gon wanted Obi to go to Tatooine to pick up Anakin and then throw Obi to the wolves....

    Great job so far.
     
  16. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Mace better listen to Yoda and watch his back when he's alone with our favorite litle Jedi.

    Okay, Obi punishing himself was freaky.

    I'm enjoying this immensely.
     
  17. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Okay, the whole self-punishment thing was scary, but very really considering they are Sith and I suppose Obi-Wan's doubt would have to be punished. Truly doing a good job with evil.

    Great to bring Yoda into this now. It's funny that Mace thinks something is wrong, but not that bad - if only he knew. [face_devil]
     
  18. AthenaLeigh

    AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2004
    oh... my... goodness... I love this story! haha, oh man, I love AU stories, and the more the better, and this is awesome! Qui-Gon is the best Sith ever. *cackles* Oh I'll be following this story. Great work!
     
  19. jeday

    jeday Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2004
    Hmm, Obi-Wan is evil but he hopes for a galactic peace ? [face_thinking] Hope it is not the peace of a graveyard. :D :D
     
  20. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    AnakinsHeir Yes, this Qui is pretty Sithly. I have a feeling he'll get worse. Thanks for reading!

    Odd-Thomas Wow, thanks!

    Kynstar Listen to Yoda, he should! Thanks for reading.

    CapNJaxWench I'm sick? Thanks! You say the sweetest things...

    Layren You'll be seeing more of the elegant Master Dooku. :D Thank you for chekcing this one out, and thank you, too, Kynstar!

    solojones It's the end of the galaxy as we know it! YIKES! Thanks for reading.

    SarkaVrae Poor Obi is really hooked,isn't he? Can't get it out of your head? Wow,that's the nicest thing someone's said to me in a long time. Thank you! :D

    dianethx Who knows what the evil Qui is up to. Poor Mace, still sees Obi as a good guy. Wonder if he is? Thanks for reading!

    JediMaster_Jen Obi knows the rules, and doubting his Master is a big no-no! Yoda is wise, but will anyone listen? Thank you for reading this odd and twisted tale.

    Master_Noi If I'm doing a good job with evil, what does that say about me? Uh oh! Thanks for reading, though!

    AthenaLeigh Of course Qui is a good Sith, he's good at whatever he puts his mind to,isn't he? Thank you for reading and your very kind words.

    jeday I think the Sith see galactic peace as no one having the courage to argue with you, or no one being left to argue with you. So, it's peaceful for THEM. Thanks for reading!
     
  21. LukesTheMan

    LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2004
    Obi-Wan taking care of his own discipline was creepy! The whole story is creepy, in a good, almost-Halloween way. :D
     
  22. Jedi_Chani

    Jedi_Chani Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2004
    What an evil update. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan seem far worse than the Emperor and Vader. Wait a minute, did I really type that?
     
  23. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I hope to update again on Monday. Weekend is hubby's time, LOL!


    Chapter 6


    Mace Windu instructed Obi-Wan to bring the small craft down on the landing pad indicated by the space port authority. As they landed and he shut down the engines, Mace got his first good look at the ?thriving? city of Mos Espa. He wondered if they had gotten the coordinates wrong.

    Having once been sent to Hoth on a mission while he was a Padawan, he had always been fairly sure that there was no more desolate planet in any system. Tatooine proved that theory to be false. As they had come in over the city, they had seen nothing more than a sea of sand in endless waves of tan and beige.

    Obi-Wan had shown no curiosity about their mission here, which troubled the Jedi Master. He had seemed willing to make the trip, eager even, but his lack of curiosity was not normal. Usually Padawans would be annoying their Master with a non-stop barrage of questions. But the young man just sat there silently, waiting for his next order.

    Mace instructed him to gather up his belongings, which he turned to do without a single comment. Windu followed behind him, ready to get this mission over with and get safely back to the Temple. He felt uneasy, as if the Force was trying to warn him. Whether the warning concerned the mission or the troubling young Padawan he could not tell. But he was on guard.

    Together, the Master and Padawan entered the city of Mos Espa.

    **************************

    Master Windu found a small lodge and secured a room for them. The two put away their few belongings and ate some fruit Mace had purchased from a vendor. Finally, the younger man spoke up, asking about their mission. Mace greeted his questions with a sense of relief.

    ?Master Windu, what exactly is our mission here??

    ?We have people scattered through the galaxy who keep us apprised of certain situations that merit our attention. One such being disappeared and I am here to try and find out what happened to him.?

    ?I see,? he paused. ?I don?t mean to be impertinent, Master, but why would the Jedi care if one of their informants decided to skip the planet?? Obi-Wan?s eyes were curious.

    ?We don?t feel he simply left, we think something might have happened to him. I?m going to meet with one of his colleagues and see if I can find out something. Besides, he left before we could pay him. He would never do that,? Mace said with a smirk. ?That?s not his style.?

    ?Yes, that would be unlike a criminal, to leave behind his payment,? Obi-Wan agreed easily.

    ?My meeting is soon. Perhaps you should stay here. The fewer Jedi this one sees, the better. I don?t want to scare him away.? Mace took off his Jedi tunics and replaced them with a white shirt and nerf leather vest. His leggings would do just fine, as would the boots. By themselves, they would not identify him as a Jedi and both men had worn their cloaks off the ship. No one here was the wiser as to their identity.

    ?Can I have a look around, Master?? the young man asked.

    Mace stared at him for a moment and then shrugged. ?I guess so; just make sure you don?t let anyone know you?re Jedi.?

    ?Of course, Master.?

    Mace gathered up his cloak and turned to go. ?Watch yourself, Obi-Wan; this place is full of nothing but criminals and mercenaries.?

    Obi-Wan smiled. ?Yes, Master, I completely understand.?

    ***************************

    He wandered the streets of Mos Espa, not going any place in particular. But as he ambled through the dusty streets, he became aware of the Force gently nudging him along in a specific direction. Finally, he found himself standing before another dirty little shop, not any different from the dozens he had passed during his walk.

    Obi-Wan entered the shop, unsure of what had brought him here. But the Force had urged him to this specific place. He shrugged and looked around the dismal shop. A quietly pretty woman was cleaning droid parts. She gave him a gentle, tired smile as she noticed him. From behind the counter popped up a little
     
  24. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Uh oh!! Poor Anakin... hehehe

    Mace thinking Obi is juz being the ever respectful Paddy, hehehe how 'Mace-like' is that? *snrk* That rules lawyer needs to meditate a little bit more hehehe

    Great chappie!! Poor Skywalkers... can't wait to see what plan he has instore for Anakin. ;)
     
  25. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Oh my gosh! :eek: This is so dark. It's very original and well done, VLR64. I'm loving it.
     
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