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Before - Legends To Serve My Master- a Story of the Sith- Dark Obi-Wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Oct 1, 2004.

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  1. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    He reached out with the Force and sensed the powerful signature of Windu flicker, becoming fainter with each beat of his own heart. He waited a moment and then it faded away completely.


    Hrm.... Seems too easy. I wonder if he's really dead-- I'm sure Windu is skilled enough to fool Obi-Wan if he needs to. Especially if he's come to the conclusion that Obi-Wan is really dark... just have to wait and see :D Great work Kimberley!


     
  2. Senator_Leia73

    Senator_Leia73 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 2003
    Ha Windu died. [face_devil]

    Awww poor Shmi. That made me want to cry really badly. :_|
     
  3. JediVegeta

    JediVegeta Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 20, 2000
    Well....there goes another Jedi down the drain... [face_mischief] .
    I really feel sad for Shmi. I wish someone would burst in and yell, "EVIL SITH! NO TRUST!" :p .

    But just knowing that Anakin will be given to Qui-Gon to train and perhaps turned...ACK! He is so adorable too. Geeze, the whole thing is sad. Well, what ever you plan to do with the story, I am sure it will be great!

    Hm...if Evil Qui has Ani....what will become of Obi later on... :eek: ! Love it all! :D !

    Keep it up!
     
  4. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Let me just go ahead and confess that I totally read this like the minute you put it up this morning, but was at work and couldn't post anything until now. But I need to stop reading while at work b/c I so totally couldn't get it out of my head and kept shaking back into reality from my daydreams about it--that's some powerful plot line and writing you got there! I'm going to have to get a grip and only read you at home! lol

    Anyway, loved it, loved it, loved it. I'm loving Dark Obi month--and this is such a great story. I feel so bad for....everyone! But Dark Obi is still so cute! :)
    He seems a little torn--like he's not all dark, just completely blind about Qui and 100% against the Jedi. But then he's all sweet with Sarla (aka Sarka--hahaha!) and even goes about getting Ani in a "noble" way--though towing him off to Qui isn't quite noble, is it? But in Dark Obi's twisted little mind, it is, right? We should have a discussion board on your story! I love it! More! More! More!
     
  5. AthenaLeigh

    AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2004
    oooooooooooo, such evilness! Well, that takes care of that nosy Jedi. Aww, he's got little Anakin and he's crying! I wonder what the Sith are going to do with the poor little guy. Obi-Wan seems so nice to Shmi, wonder what's up with that. The more this story goes on, the more you want to read.
     
  6. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Well, no surprise that Windu was taken out - though I am with everyone else in questioning whether he is really dead. If he is really dead, shame on him for not watching his back better when he suspected Obi-Wan.

    Poor Shmi. Did a see a touch of compassion in Obi-Wan there? Wanting to give Anakin back, but knowing it would be worse on her if his Master came to claim his prize.
     
  7. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    I have to admit that I had the scene where Obi taks Anakin away written weeks ago, and it was VERY different from what I posted. I wanted Obi-Wan to be one way, and then he fooled me by developing an affection for the little guy! Go figure!



    LukesTheMan The update was posted as promised! Thank you for reading.

    HealerLeona We'll have to see what Sithly Qui has in store for them. [face_devil] Thanks for reading!

    Kynstar I don't think Obi wanted to get in a saber duel with Mace, not a good plan! So, blowing up the ship might have been a good option. We'll have to see! :D Thanks!

    JediMaster_Jen Thanks for reading! Yes, Qui-Gon's impression of young Anakin will be important.

    Dianethx Obi-Wan will have some hard choices to make in the near future. Thanks for still reading this one!

    SilSolo :D Vergere was cool, wasn't she?

    AnakinsHeir Yes, I'm pretty sneaky! Thanks for reading, still...

    VadersMistress Well now YOU know the truth. What do you think? Thanks for reading.

    Jemmiah Yep, Obi's job security isn't so hot right now. But will he figure that out? I dunno! :D Thanks for reading.

    Layren We'll see about Windu, he's pretty smart so maybe he found a way out! Thanks for reading.

    SenatorLeia_73 I know, poor Shmi! She never gets a break, does she? Thanks for reading!

    JediVegeta Yeah, Shmi trusted WAY too easily! I've already got the ending written, so I know what happens, but they keep going off in different directions and I have to chase them down and keep them on track! Thanks for reading.

    SarkaVrae WOW! You made my day, and it is a dark and dreary day here so I really needed that! Thanks for reading, hopefully the rest of the story will meet your expectations.

    AthenaLeigh Thank you! That makes me feel great! I hope you like what's coming up.

    Master_Noi Yeah, you'd think a Jedi Master would be more careful! :D
     
  8. LukesTheMan

    LukesTheMan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 30, 2004
    So you killed Mace? Or did you? Hopefully you will reveal the truth soon. And I would love to read the other scene where Obi-Wan takes Anakin! [face_devil]
     
  9. jeday

    jeday Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2004
    I think Mace is still alive.
    Obi-Wan's feelings for Anakin are disturbing from a sith's point of view. :D
    Can't wait for more!
     
  10. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Chapter 13

    Mace felt a surge in the Force just moments before the ship erupted in a fireball. It wasn?t much warning, but it gave him just enough time to lessen the impact somewhat. He still felt his body thrown against the walls of the spaceport. He sensed the sickening crunch as dozens of bones, large and small, gave way to the pressure. He had just a moment to feel a spike of fear as the flames from the explosion rippled out towards him.

    He could see them rushing at him, though he could hear nothing except a vague ringing in his ears. The incredible heat of the fire began to dance over his flesh. The agony was beyond bearing. He turned and protected one side of his body as best he could.

    He knew that somewhere Obi-Wan must be waiting to sense his death. I must disappear, he thought. Using his last bit of energy, he made himself so small in the Force that he was gone. He held on just long enough to watch the fire pull back and turn to black.

    ******************

    Mace Windu was shocked to see sun streaming in through a tiny window. He was shocked that he had lived to see another day, and grateful that his eyes still functioned. He was even more surprised to look over and see the wizened face of Master Yoda peering at him.

    He tried to smile, but found that his skin was too tight and his face was wrapped in layers of bandages. It was only a moment later when it felt as if he were back in the fire, his flesh blistering beneath the onslaught of the flames.

    He decided that it was best not to move for the time being and became very still. A quiet chuckle from his bedside drew his eyes that way once more.

    ?Wise choice, Master Windu,? Master Yoda said. ?Move you should not.?

    ?How long?? Mace was shocked at how harsh and raspy his voice sounded.

    ?Three days you have lingered between life and death. Make up your mind you could not,? Yoda informed him.

    ?Obi-Wan??

    ?Fled, traced his ship to a spaceport on Kuat we did and then lost him,? Yoda said sadly.

    Mace closed his eyes in defeat. He had so wanted a chance to save the boy. Now he was gone, and all chances of redemption were gone with him.

    ?Tracking him?who?? He could barely manage to get the three words out.

    Yoda?s ear flicked back and his eyes narrowed. ?After his apprentice, Dooku has gone.?

    ?Save him??

    ?Know the answer to that, I do not.?

    Mace could feel sleep staking its claim on him once more. ?Anyone else hurt??

    ?Just you,? Yoda paused. ?Grievous are your injuries.?

    ?How bad??

    ?Burns, broken bones you suffered. Long recovery, but live you will.?

    ?Too stubborn?to die,? Mace said just before drifting off.

    Master Yoda gave a sigh of satisfaction as Mace fell asleep. He and Dooku had raced to Tatooine immediately upon hearing of the explosion. Obi-Wan?s Jedi Master was now attempting to find him. But merely finding the boy would solve nothing.

    Many troubles were about to descend on the Jedi Order, Yoda sensed that as surely as he felt the heat of the two suns shining outside. But perhaps there was still yet a way to defeat the darkness that threatened. Perhaps?

    *******************************

    Dooku cursed as he realized he had missed Obi-Wan yet again. The boy was proving to be exasperatingly elusive. He had just gotten word that Mace Windu was awake now. That thought brought a hopeful smile to his face. At least the Jedi Master had survived the attempt on his life. The smile was chased away quickly by the thought that his own Padawan had planted the detonator.

    He knew that Obi-Wan had to be on his way to the Sith Lord. Nothing else could explain the his actions.

    He wanted to think of Qui-Gon only as a Sith, the enemy. But images of a young boy, who was all hands and feet and heart, kept intruding. His Padawan had forever been smuggling helpless creatures into their apartment, and soon their quarters were nicknamed ?the zoo? by the Temple denizens.

    Was that boy, that Jedi who valued all life, still hidden beneath the skin of the Sith Lord who had
     
  11. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Yay!! I knew he wasn't dead!!!! it just seemed way too easy for Windu to be snuffed that way.

    [face_dancing] [face_dancing] Awww Dooku having a moment of nostalgia. Poor all of them. I wonder if Qui-Gon can be redeemed -- he wasn't always a Sith.


     
  12. Dallas_Valla

    Dallas_Valla Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2003
    Hmmm....

    Nice. Very nice.


    *Evil laughter echoes from somewhere...*
     
  13. AthenaLeigh

    AthenaLeigh Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2004
    Haha, I guess the Sith aren't as all powerful as they thought. Wonder what Qui-Gon's reaction will be to finding out Obi-Wan failed that task.... Aww, that's sad that Dooku still remembers the sweet little boy. But what will happen if and when he finds them?? Eagerly waiting to find out.
     
  14. SarkaVrae

    SarkaVrae Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2004
    yes.....what use? mwahahahahahaha!!!!!

    VL--I just want you to know that Layren got the first post b/c she was distracting me! [face_laugh]

    Really though--it was......great, wonderful, intriguing! It's been a crummy day today (weather wise) for me, and this was a wonderful ray of enjoyment waiting for me when I got home!!

    I love how you've shown how the Masters are all concerned about Obi, and even Qui. That they aren't just enemies and that's it--it's much deeper, more personal, and gut-wrenching!

    And WHAT--pray tell--is Yoda planning????!!!!

    Can't wait for more--wish I lived with you and could sneak into your pc for the next chappies!
     
  15. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Oi! This was sooooooooooo awesome! [face_love] Dooku reflecting on a younger Qui! hehehehe

    Ahhh :( how sad to find out that it was Tahl's death that was the final switch. In that I can understand. Poor man... love of his life taken from him.

    One can ponder if Qui is redeemable let alone Obi. It's sweet to see Dooku racing after Obi in order to try to save him. But to save both now that will be a challenge, if at all even possible.

    Yay! Mace is alive! I was pondering that ;) Great job!!! I got a Dooku fix! [face_love] yippee! ;) hehehe

    One thing is for sure... Obi with the kid is puzzling Dooku hehehe


    (edit: Oh man had an flash of thought... what if Qui tried to convert Dooku? *snrk* now wouldn't that be ironic as all get out? hehehe!)
     
  16. Master_Noi

    Master_Noi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 8, 2004
    Well, Windu is alive and in a lot of pain.

    I kind of think Dooku should think things out a little more before he finds Qui and Obi. He had visions of his padawans and is not seeing who they relly are - Sith. Maybe they can be redeemed, but he should talk to Mace. Getting too sentimental and letting his guard down could get him killed.

    Don't think Qui is going to be happy that Mace survived. [face_devil]
     
  17. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    My my, sneeky you are. LOL.

    Yay, Mace is alive! I knew he had to be. I'm mean, really, Obi-Wan isn't as smart as he thinks he is.

    I can't get over Dooku being a good guy in this.

    Great chapter. =D=
     
  18. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Hurray, Mace did survive. I liked that Dooku is looking for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. It's rather sad that he was thinking of Qui as the 'savior' of all those pathetic lifeforms and yet now he's a Sith. Quite a turnabout. And Obi had Anakin - his potential replacement. We shall see how you're going to play this out.

    Great job. Keep going!
     
  19. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrel Wrangler of Fun & Games star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2000
    Aha! Mace did survive, good! And now Dooku after his apprentice... we'll see if he can find him. But images of a young boy, who was all hands and feet and heart, kept intruding.-- awww, no wonder it may be hard for him to remember Qui-Gon's now sith.
     
  20. AnakinsHeir

    AnakinsHeir Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 2, 2004
    Hooray! Mace survived. But the fate of Anakin still hangs in the balance. You won't let anything bad happen to him, will you? Who am I kidding? Of course you would! :D
     
  21. Jedi_Chani

    Jedi_Chani Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Well all right, Mace Windu is still in action! Loved this chapter, I knew Mace was simply too cool to go out like punk! [face_devil]
     
  22. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    I don't know much about Qui-Gonn's past, but smuggling animals into their apartment? That sounded a lot like Jacen in YJK but I guess I can only expect that from Qui-Gonn. Any quality Zaltin bacta for Master Windu?
     
  23. Senator_Leia73

    Senator_Leia73 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 2003
    So Mace lived...hmmm I wonder what role he will play later in the story [face_thinking] hmmmmm.

    No go away Dooku! You will ruin everything! Leave now!
     
  24. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Knew Mace couldn't die...yet
     
  25. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Quit updating so fast, damn it - I can't keep up! :p

    I love what you've done with this, VL! All the little threads are so intriguing because there are so many different ways things could turn out. The characterisations are great - love that you're using Mace so much. A character that needs to be used a lot more.

    Looking forward to more soon!

    Shaindl
     
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