Saga Torn between Love and Duty - a diary of a Jedi Padawan - Complete

Sorry to be so late replying - as with you DRL has been annoying me.

He is recovering well from his injury and a prosthetic arm is being made for him. He is already talking about tinkering with it just as he has with anything mechanical. It always makes me happy when Anakin is happy.
I liked that bit - LOL - that was so Anakin-ish. No machine is safe is it?

Poor Farra getting caught by a sneeze. And Obi-Wan's ploy to discourage them with that comment about just being friends with Siri now was a bit of a wake-up call I think. Although it could make them even more determined to continue.

Ah - teens!

 

06.06.07
It has been a month since the events on Geonosis and Anakin is now fully healed. He has showed me his new arm which is a mechanical arm. He's let me watch as he tinkers with it to improve it and he seems to enjoy himself when he does so. Obi Wan hasn't said any more about catching us together. We are both hoping he may have forgotten about that incident. However we are beginning to suspect that the Jedi Council are beginning to suspect that we may be more than friends. We are sure that Obi Wan and Siri aren't to blame as both know that if they give our secret away we will give theirs away. However more important events are on everyone's mind at the moment. The Jedi recently received word that the Seperatists have been attacking Rhen Var. Obi Wan and Anakin and I were already in the system as we'd been involved in a peacekeeping mission. That mission had taken us to a system nearby. Obi Wan hadn't wanted me to come along as he felt that Anakin and I were spending entirely too much time together. He was still of the opinion that we needed to forget about each other and concentrate on our Jedi training. Anakin and I had no intention of forgetting about each other and were in fact flying side by side in our star fighters when the new mission came through. We were both feeling bored as there hadn't been anything to do for quite some time.
"Now we might get some excitement soon. Anything to relieve this boredom would be good" Anakin told me over the comm.
"Anakin you must be patient. A Jedi is always patient" Obi Wan admonished Anakin.
It was all I could do not to laugh as Anakin is ALWAYS being told to be patient.
We returned to cruising through that sector of space but kept an eye on our sensors for enemy ships. Not long after Obi Wan commed us to tell us that he's spotted some blips on his sensors. We acknowledged his transmission then set course to intercept the blips, our instincts and the Force telling us that the blips were enemy ships. As the ships came into view we could see that they were Trade Federation ships and instantly we realized that we'd encountered an invasion force heading to Rhen Var.

The next thing I knew Anakin was diving towards the ships intending to engage them. What was he doing? Before I or Obi Wan had time to worry about Anakin's actions the ships had moved to intercept us. Anakin's diving towards them had drawn us to their attention. Obi Wan quickly transmitted a message to the Jedi council to let them know that we'd found the invasion force and I reached out through the Force to touch Anakin's mind.
"Be mindful of your emotions my love. Don't let your anger control your actions" I told him.
"I will be careful. Love you" Anakin responded.
"We should make our way down to the surface" I told Anakin.
He agreed so we dived towards the surface hoping to get down without engaging the enemy. However several Trade Federation ships moved to intercept us and started shooting. Soon we were both engaged in a dogfight. I maneuvered my fighter hoping to get behind the one who was on me but he stuck to me and I couldn't lose him to get behind him. Suddenly he landed a hit on my ship and everything spun. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the fighter that had been shooting at me disintegrate.
"Got em" I heard Anakin say through our comm.
"Anakin I'm out of control" I said.. realizing I wouldn't be able to regain control before crashing on the planet. Anakin followed me down but he couldn?t prevent me from crashing. There was nothing I could do to prevent the crash either. All I could do was brace myself and wait for the inevitable. And it happened. My ship plowed into the ground and I was flung forward striking my head on the control panel knocking me unconscious.

I don't know how long I was out of it for but I would learn later that Anakin had wanted to stay with my ship and protect me after landing and finding I was out of it. He had also prevented a number of Trade Federation troops from capturing me. When he had gotten me out of the ship he'd discovered a large bump on my head and

 

10.06.07
Its now been a few days since we got back from Rhen Var. We all had had to attend a debrief to discuss what had taken place on the planet. Although we'd managed to evacuate most of the inhabitants of the planet we had not been able to prevent the Separatists from taking the planet. As we had done our best we were told not to feel bad. The aim had been to evacuate the planet NOT stop the take over. We had achieved our goals so the council was satisfied with our performance. Anakin and I had managed to train together each day over the last few days. I am noticing more and more that we compliment each others styles and this also leads me to believe that we work better together than apart. I still do not know if I am to receive a new master or if I will go into the general pool of Padawans. I hope it is the former as I would like a new master and be able to finish my training. It is my deepest desire to become a Jedi Knight. That and to be Anakin's wife.

I must confess that it has been good to be able to see Anakin every day for the last few days and I hope to be sent on more missions with him. I couldn't bear it if I was left behind again as I would miss Anakin so much that I'm sure the council would notice that I wasn't entirely happy. No I need to be with Anakin as much as I can. Right now he's sitting beside me watching as I write this. I let him read my diary because there is no secret between us. We know each others deepest secrets and keep nothing from each other. He has shared with me his rage and pain when he lost his mother and how he slaughtered the Tuskans. I can't begin to understand how he must have felt when he lost his mother, having never known my mother as I was taken from her at a very young age. From what I was told it was at 6 months old but I will never know for sure. And I know I was born on Alderaan as I've been privy to that much information. I don't know if Farra Sti was my birth name or if those names were given to me by the Jedi after I came to the Temple. Anakin is smiling as he reads these words. Now he's suggesting we should go to Alderaan sometime and find out. Unfortunately I am forbidden to find out about my birth parents as there is too much risk of me forming an attachment with them and any siblings I may have. Anakin is now telling me that he thinks that we should be able to have attachments with family just like we should have attachments with each other if we want them.

Anyway yesterday I had to attend the mock fights the senior younglings have to show potential masters what we can do. Anakin came to support me and I could see him in the crowd. Heaven knows what Obi Wan must have thought and I didn't see him in the crowd so I suppose it didn't interest him to watch us competing with each other. I rather suspect that Anakin told him he simply wanted to watch the younglings fighting and neglected to tell him that I was participating. I don't know if he knows now or not and I don't think I'd like him to find out. Anakin is telling me that Obi Wan doesn't know about it and he doesn't intend for Obi Wan to find out. Anyway at the fight I won easily as I had begun training in the Dejem So form as that was the form Ploon used and I wished to use it as a mark of respect to him. I had originally trained in Soresu which was also Obi Wan's preferred form. So my lightsaber skills were more advanced than my opponents. At the end of each fight other Padawans were cheering when their friends won. I saw Anakin leap to his feet and punch the air when I won and when I caught his eye he winked. I winked back and he gave me a thumbs up and smiled. He's telling me he'd have liked to have blown me a kiss but didn't dare since there were lots of people around including some of the council. I can understand that. Anyway it was somewhat of a surprise that I learnt that the Masters looking for a Padawan weren't interested in me. However I've been told by the council that as I was already a Padawan that I should eventually be chosen by another Master. Anakin is confident that I will eventually be

 

Gah I missed these two updates! My apologies.

Great description of Farra's desire for Anakin. I also liked the fact that Obi-Wan acknowledges that she is a calming influence on Anakin, so let's hope the Council agree. Not that they probably will - stuffy old things. LOL

Farra is certainly a plucky girl. I get the impression she thinks about things more clearly than Anakin. Girls rule! Although she is beginning to find her feelings a bit hard to ignore.

PM me when you add the next post.

 

Sorry for the delay between posts. I've been under the weather lately and still am not properly well again.
15.06.07
The Jedi Council finally decided what to do about the situation on Raxus Prime. I found out from Anakin last night that he and Obi Wan were being sent to Raxus Prime to investigate the digging site and see if the Separatists were looking for the Force Harvester. If they were we needed to stop them at all costs. After Anakin told me about their mission I knew I had to go along with them, as I knew I could help Anakin maintain his hold on his temper. So I spoke to Obi Wan this morning and asked if I might be permitted to go on the mission with them. As I was still Master less I hadn't been assigned on any missions of my own. At first Obi Wan was reluctant for me to go along and I knew he felt that I just wanted to spend time with Anakin.
"Its not that Master" I protested, "Remember how I helped Anakin to keep his temper under control on Geonosis?" I added.
Obi Wan DID remember and he realized that maybe it would be wise to have me along. So I gained permission to go. Of course Anakin was delighted when I told him.

We left a few hours later and reached Raxus Prime before the clone attack force arrived. Descending to the surface we landed safely avoiding any crashes this time and popped our canopies. As we climbed out of our ships we couldn't see the digging site but Anakin suddenly sensed Dooku's presence so we knew we were close. At the same time as Anakin sensed Dooku's presence a convoys of Separatist troops start coming past us. The three of us ignite our lightsabers as the troops have noticed us. Blaster bolts are suddenly flying in all directions and we are parrying them back in the direction they came from. Bodies of troopers start piling up around us and suddenly troopers start flying in all directions. I see that Anakin is flinging them away with the Force, using them as living missiles to knock down other troopers. I follow his lead and finish off those that are down with my lightsaber. Eventually all of the Seperatist troops are dead and at the same time a clone force arrive to destroy the digging site. We watch as the clones do their job and just as we are preparing to leave I sense Anakin getting excited. He tells us he's seen Dooku heading to his ship.
"I'm going to sneak aboard and see what he's up to" Anakin tells Obi Wan and I.
"Alright. Be careful. May the Force be with you" Obi Wan said.
Anakin nods and takes off running. Remembering that I have helped Anakin in the past to control his actions I turned to Obi Wan.
"I'm going with him. I think he'll need my help to keep control," I said.
"Go" Obi Wan said.

I ran after Anakin. When I caught up to him we made our way over to Dooku's ship and silently slip on board. Finding hiding places we feel the ship take off. I felt it would be better to wait and see what Dooku is up to but Anakin being Anakin insisted on confronting Dooku. He drops out of his hiding place to land silently, igniting his lightsaber. I remained where I was, as I knew that Anakin could handle himself. I did reach out in the Force to touch Anakin and help him to remain calm. Unfortunately another guy appeared out of nowhere and began firing stun bolts at Anakin. I couldn't stay hidden any longer, as I knew that the new enemy needed to be taken out so Anakin could deal with Dooku. I dropped down from my hiding place igniting my lightsaber in a fluid motion. As I land I see that Anakin has been stunned. I let the Force control my actions and bat the stun bolts away from myself. Of course the Count hasn't remained passive. I called Anakin's saber to my spare hand and use that to parry the blows the Count has started aiming at me while using my own saber to deflect stun bolts. Unfortunately I couldn't hold out forever and finally the Count disarmed me. However by then Anakin had gotten up again. Was I relieved to see that he was ok. I had managed to destroy the other man's stun pistol so was concentrating on the Count. Anakin returns to the

 

16.06.07
What a day it has been today. Thankfully I'm back on Coruscant and Anakin and Obi Wan are also safe. But I should go back to the beginning of the day and tell you the whole story.

I woke this morning in prison on Alaris Prime. It seemed I was out of it for nearly 24 hours. Dooku's lightning must have really done a number on me. I wasn't alone as there was another female in the cell with me. She wasn't familiar to me but she could tell that I was now awake as she was watching me. Weather she had realized I was a Jedi or not I don't know. Checking myself over I realized my lightsaber was gone but I had expected that it would be since I was a prisoner. I hoped that Anakin had managed to take it before the Count could after I blacked out. Propping myself up on my arms I looked at the other female.
"How long have you been here?" I asked.
"A few days longer than you. Dooku put me in here after I outlived my usefulness to him" she said.
"I'm Farra and you are?" I asked
"I am Bera Kazan" the female said.
Bera went on to tell me that she was a bounty hunter.
"So why were you helping Dooku?" I asked.

He was looking for something called the Force Harvester and I knew where it was. I was to be paid for showing him where it was. However he double crossed me and threw me in here" Bera said.
Hearing this made me angry but I swallowed my anger knowing that a Jedi did not use anger to help them. Bera couldn't have known what the Harvester did.
"Do you know what the Harvester does?" I asked.
"No idea. I just heard that Dooku was looking for it and as I knew where it was I offered my services" Bera said.
"The Harvester is designed to drain the life from any living being, whether they are Force-sensitive or not" I explained to her, "In other words it will kill them. If Dooku tests it here we will all die" I said.
Bera looked appalled.
"I had no idea," she whispered.
"I did because I am a Jedi Padawan and learnt of the Harvester at the Temple," I explained.

I knew we needed to escape so I reached out in the Force to detect if there were any weak areas in the cell and discovered that by using the Force I could remove the bars. However before I could put my plan into action Dooku entered the cell.
"I am afraid Anakin has not survived" Dooku told me.
I felt the room spin as my world dropped out from underneath me. Surely Anakin wasn't? dead??""
"Nooo" I cried out before I could stop myself.
"Your feelings betray you, Jedi. You care for Anakin do you not," Dooku said.
I realized that Dooku now knew how I felt about Anakin. Then I remembered that I could find out if Anakin was indeed dead or if Dooku was lying and Anakin was still alive. I closed my eyes and concentrating reached out into the Force probing for Anakin's life sign. To my intense relief I found it and knew Dooku had lied.
"You lie Dooku! Anakin is still alive. I would have felt his death in the Force if he were dead" I said.
After confirming that Anakin was alive still I realized that I would have felt his death in the Force at the moment he'd died. Unless I was unconscious.

Dooku snarled and turning on his heel he marched out of the room. I sank to my knees knowing that Dooku now knew that Anakin and I were close. However I'd beaten him this time. Bera interrupts my thoughts by suggesting we escape. I nodded my thoughts on the task at hand. I knew though that by not giving into fear I haven't allowed Dooku to use what he knows against me. I reached into the Force and use it to view the room we are in and allow it to show me weaknesses. The window in the room has bars on it and these can be torn away. It is a simple manipulation of the Force and takes but a few moments.
"Follow me" I tell Bera then leap up onto the windowsill.
I leapt down to the ground, some meters below using the Force to cushion my impact. Then Bera follows and I use the Force to cushion her landing too. We run into the woods nearby with me in the lead. As we enter the woods I spot some single trooper aerial platforms and make a split second decision that we will comma

 

17.06.07
Anakin and I are free to be together!! Yes that?s right you heard correctly. Anakin and I are free to be together. I never dreamt this day would come. Anyway I had better start where I left off. We had returned to Coruscant from Alaris Prime and after a goodnight's sleep we were all refreshed. We reported to the Jedi Council and told them that Dooku had gotten away with the Force Harvester. That was when we learnt that the Force Harvester was the power source for something called the Dark Reaper. We were ordered to go back to Rhen Var and recapture the Force Harvester. At the end of the meeting we returned to the Jedi Hanger and taking our star fighters we returned to Rhen Var.

On our arrival we had a briefing with the commanders of the Republic Forces. The briefing is brief because there wasn't much time to loose. Soon we were in battle with the Separatist Forces. As Anakin and I fought I could tell that we were getting better and better as a team. It was as if we could read each other's minds. Obviously we could read each other's actions through the Force. I took out 10 battle droids with one spin. Then 12 droidekas roll up and Anakin and I leapt towards them at the same time. Our blades made quick work of them although one managed to land a glancing blow on Anakin's right shoulder. I sensed him growing angry so I quickly concentrated sending some of my inner calm his way. To my relief I sensed him calming down and returning to his inner calm. Finally the battle was over and Anakin told me he needed to talk to Obi Wan. He told Obi Wan that he needed to go to the tomb of Ulic Quel Drama. I knew from my studies that Ulic was a Jedi Master during the time of the Sith Wars. Apparently Master Windu had told Anakin that Ulic knew how to withstand the effects of the Dark Reaper. Anakin wanted to talk to Ulic's spirit to learn how he too could withstand the effects of the Reaper. Obi Wan permitted Anakin to go to Ulic's tomb but decided not to go himself as there were still some Separatists to mop up. I asked Obi Wan what he would like me to do.
"Go with Anakin he will need you to keep him calm" Obi Wan told me.

I nodded to Obi Wan then rejoined Anakin. Taking speeders we made our way to Ulic's tomb. There we encountered powerful Force Ghosts who wanted to know why we were there. Anakin bravely told them we wished to speak with Ulic but they suddenly attacked us. We fought them but it didn't seem like we could defeat them. Then I reached into the Force and realized that each ghost was connected to a tomb. To defeat them we needed to destroy each tomb that was connected to a ghost. I quickly explained this to Anakin then ran to a nearby tomb. Reaching out in the Force I quickly spotted a weak spot. Concentrating I used the Force to push apart the weak spot and the tomb crumbled. Triumphantly I relayed to Anakin how to destroy the tombs and we made short work of the rest.

Finally Ulic appeared as a Force Spirit. We bowed reverently to him and then Ulic told Anakin what he needed to know. Anakin thanked Ulic and we turned to leave.
?Wait I have something else to tell you? Ulic said
?Yes? Anakin asks, after we had turned back.
?A closeness I sense between you. This closeness is the will of the Force. You are two parts of one whole. Only together will you be strong. Apart you will be weak? Ulic told us
?Thank you Master Ulic? I said
Ulic then took his leave of us we returned to Obi Wan. Anakin excitedly told him what Ulic had told him. Then I told him the rest.
?This the council must be told? Obi Wan says, "It is clear your relationship is meant to be. I was wrong to try to stop it. Of course I did not know what I know now" Obi Wan said, " So you have my blessing to be together"
He contacted the council a short while later and they ordered us to Thule, as both the Dark Reaper and the Force Harvester were both there. We are now enroute to Thule and I must stop because Anakin is wanting my attention.

 

After much thought I have decided I am not going to add any more entries to Farra's diary. As this fiction is based on another fiction of mine you can find out what happens to Farra by reading Destined. It would just take too long to continue the diary through until the end of the events of Destined. And I'm more interested in writing WWE (Wrestling) fiction than Star Wars at the moment.