Saga Turning Into Myself (slight OT AU) - (Mon Mothma, Leia, others) - Thank you!

Thanks for the all the support and smacking about the face and head you've given me lately.

Right back at ya babe! It means a lot to have someone who understands my frustrations and has the ability to pick me up when I'm feeling blue about things.

Wonderful post! I'm so enjoying seeing the OT events from a seeming outsiders perspective. I for one hope Luke and his mother eventually manage to connect. And so far I don't mind Luke so much. Yet another example of your brilliant writing ability.

 

this was very moving padme/mon's worry for her son but not being able to show it as a mother was well done. I especially like the continued friendship with carlist

 

Newbie here. I've heard of peoples thoughts that Mon Mothma might have been Padme, but this is the first time I've read a story that takes it to such a fantastic level. Brava, and please go on.

 

I love how you seemlesly blend your story with canon. Fantastic!

 

A little behind schedule, but Han didn't want to cooperate.

Diane - you're way too good for my ego, you know that, right? I think this is my most emotional story, but in a far more understated way, if that makes any sense. I think that's also why this fic has given me such a headache at times. Wonderful post today, btw.

Darth_Daydreamer - wow, this story pulled you out of lurkerdom? Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it that much. Your comments mean so much. BTW, take a look at your PMs.

Diane - thanks for the plug. You're too sweet.

OE - feeling blue? us? NEVER! Thanks for the comment on Luke. I think.

Hananiah - I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to not be able to show the natural worry of a parent. I'm glad you liked it!

Aiel - another new reader! Cool! I'm glad you're enjoying my take on this scenario. It's been a lot of fun to write.

PK - thank you. I was worried that the blending with canon might turn some people off. Ask OE how much I've moaned about that. Thanks for always being here, PK!

* * * * * *

Chapter 11

?You doubtin? my eyes, Highnessness?? The irritation was evident in the baritone voice.

?No. I?m just saying that maybe you didn?t see what you think you saw.?

?Ohhhh, so you?re just doubtin? what I know.? That provoked a few chuckles.

?I didn?t say that! I just said-?

The waiting members of the High Command grinned outright at each other as the exchange grew unintelligible as the two participants evidently realised they were close to the meeting room. But the chuckles were stifled as the door to the room slid open, revealing Han and Leia to the assembled group.

The bickering had become a regular and entertaining part of Rebellion life. Everyone, it seemed, had at least one ?Princess and Smuggler? story ? as they had come to be called ? to share when conversation in the mess hall turned in that direction, as it often did. Padmé was sure they both would have been surprised to learn that the usual start to those conversations was usually ?So what?s the pot up to now?? Padmé?s date in the bet as to when the Princess and the Smuggler would finally get together was still a year away. She figured they were both pretty thick-headed in some ways. It would take a while.

They were quiet and red-faced as they entered, quickly moving to opposite ends of the table. Chewbacca followed behind them, baring his teeth at her in a silent grin, obviously enjoying the show as much as the rest of them were. Padmé hid another, more wistful smile. Were Anakin and I that obvious about how we felt for each other?

Locking the thought away before it forced her to examine thoughts better left alone, she cleared her throat. ?Let?s get started. First, Too-OneBee tells me that Commander Skywalker is on the mend and should be up and about by tomorrow.? This time, she showed her smile to the smuggler as relief rippled through the room. ?I know I speak for all of us when I say we owe you another huge debt of gratitude, Han.?

She almost laughed out loud ? as Chewbacca did ? when he ducked his head in embarrassment at the words of praise and mumbled something about needing to have the kid in his debt for a while longer. How the normally astute, normally clear-headed Leia failed to see what was in front of her nose, Padmé had no idea.

But Luke and the state of Han and Leia?s relationship wasn?t what they were truly there to discuss. She looked to the captain again. ?Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad. Han, fill everyone in on what you and Chewbacca saw a little while ago.?

His embarrassment vanished as the unofficial member of the Rebellion reappeared. ?Imperial Probe Droid. I know what I saw,? he glared down the table at Leia. ?no matter what some people think.?

The princess rolled her eyes, but there were no smiles as the High Command digested his report. A probe droid meant only one thing: they were soon going to be evacuating again. They always

 

Well what can I say? You have these canon characters down so well it's almost scary. Loved Padme/Mons glimpse of Vader. I've often wondered what Padme would have thought if she'd seen Anakin as Vader. Exquisite writing as always my dear.

 

I loved the "Not the time for a strategic planning session, but time for a friend to share a painful wait" thing. Is Leia her daughter in this? I'm confused.

 

It looks like she still doesn't knoe that Leia is her daughter. She didn't know the baby was hidden with Bail?

 

You're welcome and I'm not here to help your ego just to tell everyone about how lovely your stories are! So there...

Your mixture of canon and AU is just wonderful. I can picture the whole thing so clearly that I'm sure next time I watch TESB, I'll be looking for Padme. It's a poignant moment when she sees her husband and only feels sadness at the prison he is in.

And I LOVE that they are all betting on when the Princess and the Smuggler get together. LOL. The levity in that set in perfectly with the movie. I can just see the pilots all upping the ante every time those two start fighting. And grinning behind their backs at the 'entertainment'.

Well done. I look forward to more with great anticipation!

 

A nice sense of supsension and waiting that I think all the rebels felt. I really liked how you compared Luke and Anakin together and the H/L romance was a great touch to bring into it. It's so nice to see Padme taking positive action and redefining herself.

 

wow! Amazing writing as always. I loved the glimpse of Vader through Padm~{(&~}'s eyes... A/P have got to be the most tragic couple ever.

The integration of canon with AU is also extremely well done... I've always wondered what it would be like if Padm~{(&~} was in the OT and now you're making it come true. She's really strong, isn't she?

All in all, another wonderful post.. update soon!

 

Responses tomorrow, promise! For now thanks for reading and enjoy the next post.

Shaindl

* * * * * *

Chapter 12

She had been right about events beginning to move again, but how she wished she hadn?t been. The frenzied evacuation of Hoth could have been a lot worse. But it could have been much, much better. Everything else would have been bearable if they hadn?t lost four of their key personnel.

But no time to think of that now. She pushed the missing foursome from her mind and turned it instead to getting the Rebels settled in their new base. Moving that many people and that much equipment was a monumental task, but she was glad for it, taking on more and more responsibilities. It kept her from thinking about the people they had lost. If she stopped to think that Luke was once more gone from her life?it was simply better to not go there.

Instead, she threw herself into her work as she always had, trying not to think that she was once again alone. And tried not to think that they would come eventually because hope had broken her heart before.

Padmé?s heart lifted when the speeder suddenly appeared on the road as if in answer to her prayers, and she ran down the stairs to the doorway.

She threw it open and watched the vehicle approach and her heart dropped with each length it closed in. Anakin drove carefully, more so than he ever had in the past, the reckless, joyful abandon she loved gone. He parked the vehicle carefully and stepped out, looking up and glaring at the rain as if daring it to fall on him.

Striding up to the house, he came inside. ?I came.?

?You did.? She studied him, finally realising that things that seem too good to be true usually are. ?For how long, I wonder??

?Don?t start, Padmé.?

But she had to. It was her last chance.

And the argument raged through the night, about Palpatine and the road he was taking, about Anakin?s blind acceptance of the man, about his rejection of the Jedi, about Obi-Wan. He parried every one of her thrusts so finally she played her last sabacc card, hoping it would end this once and for all.

?I saw the footage of Budarys V.?

She had never been afraid of her powerful husband until then. His eyes burned, his nostrils flared, and he paled to a sickly white. ?How do you know about that??

Padmé held her ground. ?There are still brave people in this galaxy fighting for justice and truth.?

He seized her by the upper arms, squeezing painfully, although she would never let him see that he hurt her. ?They lied.?

?I don?t think so.?

They stared at each other for a moment and then he released her, the mask that he wore so often now slipping into place. ?You never could trust me. Just like Obi-Wan.?

?That?s not true! Ani, I-?

?Then why can?t you trust that I know what I?m doing??

?I think you?re blinded by Palpatine and his promises.?

He exploded into wrath. ?Why does everyone say that? Why am I the only one to see that his way is the only way now? That the Jedi have to go??

There it was. The final piece of the puzzle Palpatine was putting together. He was going to destroy the Jedi and take control of the galaxy. And Anakin was going to act as his sword arm. ?How can you do that to them? After all they did for you??

?They did nothing except keep me from my mother. They?re archaic, Padmé, why can?t you see that? They?re part of a galaxy that no longer exists.?

She stared at him aghast. ?What has he done to you??

?He opened my eyes. Finally someone had the courage.?

That had been right, at least. The galaxy had changed, turning on its never-ending axis. And now it had tilted again, tossing the galaxy into new chaos. How they would come out of the whirl of events this time?

* * * * * *

When they finally did return, the same number of people, but one of the originals missing, a new person there to take his place, she asked that question again. Once more Padmé had to stand and watch as the healers took her son to the healers? centre, but this time she knew the damage was much worse. She could

 

Oh, lovely. I can so picture this. You didn't get a copy of Ep. 3, did you???? It makes perfect sense and to have the Temple destroyed and all of those lives cut down for Power is just terrible. I really loved this one, especially since you balanced the past with the present. Her horror of her son's lost hand/innocence and her horror of what she had to do to protect her children.

Wonderful.

 

Poor Mon/Padme, it must be so hard living with those memories and never being able to tell your son that your his mother, so sad your doing a fantastic job and I hope you post more soon.

 

Did it take courage to cut off the hand of your own child, Anakin?

That line really got me. You continue to turn out a wonderful story here. It's amazing how you seemlessly blend canon with AU in order to add so much more meat to the OT. Bravo!

 

I agree o_e. That line really got to me.

 

Excellent chapter as always, Shaindl. I agree with obi_ew, that line really got to me too. You can really feel Padme's pain, extremely evocative.

 

Yeah, that line got me too.
Nice one.

 

Hi there.

I'm guess what you'd call a lurker. I think this story is great! I heard the theory about Padmé and Mon Mothma being the same but I never saw any stories, until now. And I think it'll be hard to find one that will beat this one. It's amazing.

Just one thing though... Leia remebers her mother... she was taken away right after birth then how does she remember her? If she just does she's got one good memory.

Besides that, EXCELLENT!

 

Promised replies, didn't I? One thing before I begin though, and I'm sorry I didn't make this clearer. I am sticking to canon as much as possible. In the flashback early on in the story, Padme gives birth and Obi-Wan leaves with the twins without her being able to name them. She only knows that she had a boy and a girl. So she does not know about Leia. And no, she never knew where they were. When she learns of Luke having been placed with the Lars, she says she knows that Obi-Wan would have placed her daughter somewhere equally as good.

That said, here are some replies from the post before last...

Ish - I hope I cleared up your question. I'm glad you liked that line.

PK - ditto. Hope I've cleared things up.

Diane - you're too sweet! Thank you. The first version of this story didn't have much in the way of Han and Leia. I just added that scene because I thought I needed that element.

Hananiah - I'm glad that I decided to deal with Han and Leia some since people seem to have liked that. She would have had to redefine herself, not only to carry off her new persona of Mon Mothma, but also to separate herself from being the wife of Darth Vader. Wow, it would have been hard to be her, wouldn't it?

DD - they are pretty tragic aren't they? Even more so if she lived past RotS. So glad you're enjoying this.

I'll do replies for this past post when I put up the next one. Hopefully tomorrow. Thanks for reading, all of you!

 

I love the flashback and Obi Wan's pain at the end of the temple, that even though they had made mistakes it was Anakin's thoughts-that is very poignant.

 

Ack! Forgot OE! Please don't kill me!

Especially bad that I forgot you when you were the one to give me the idea for Padme to see Vader. Thanks for your comments - especially since I know how you feel about Luke. I hope what I wrote lived up to what you thought.

Please talk to me again?

 

Too late! Goodbye cold cruel world!!

 

Okay...a day late. Sorry! Out of the office tomorrow and work's been crazy...

Diane - well, I tried to get a copy, but the security guards caught me. Well, it was more the attack dogs, but you know what I mean. Thanks for saying that.

Aiel - I know. It's too sad. I've sniffled a couple of times writing this. Glad you're still enjoying it.

OE - I'm so glad you liked that line. You know how there are times where you write something, and you sit back and go, 'wow, I really liked that!'? That was one of those times. Doesn't happen very often. Thanks for all the help, as always.

PK - thanks, PK!

DD - you're too sweet. Thanks for reading.

Starrunner - thanks!

CommanderK23 - you know, other people have said they've seen those stories, but I can't say I have. Anyone point me in the direction of another "Mon is Padme" story? Thank you for comments - I'm sure someone else has handled this idea better though. And somewhere down the road, it'll come out what happened with Leia...

Hananiah - there had to come a point where it was solely Anakin's fault. I think that was it.

Hope you enjoy!

* * * * * *

Chapter 13

Along with the one handmaid she brought with her, she and Obi-Wan met up with Master Yoda on Kashyyyk and together they disappeared from public life for good.

It was far easier than they had expected to slip into the seething stream the galaxy had suddenly become. They simply turned into another group of refugees that was going anywhere but where the trouble was, though it was getting increasingly difficult to find such a place as the inferno of Palpatine?s coup spread across all the systems of the former Republic.

But somehow Yoda and Obi-Wan found a quiet place for them to hunker down, hide and pray Anakin wouldn?t find them. All of them were now fugitives from the new Emperor?s justice with rewards large enough to entice every bounty hunter in the galaxy to start following their trail.

Months passed, and their prayers grew more fervent when she began to reach the point where if any of Palpatine?s troops showed up she wouldn?t be able to run from them. Obi-Wan watched her and seeing that, started to have fiery conversations with the small green Master, trying desperately to keep their raised voices from her and her handmaid.

?I have to go after him, Master! She needs him.? He never said that he needed his Padawan himself.

?Too far gone he is. Bring him back you cannot.?

?I must try.?

?Too valuable you are. Things to still do you have, Master Kenobi.? She heard the emphasis the troll put on Obi-Wan?s title and knew he was trying to tell him there would soon be other children for him to train. Even she could tell without the help of the two Jedi that her children were especially Force sensitive. They would need Obi-Wan, no doubt.

?I also have a responsibility to my first apprentice!?

?Responsibility to his children more important.? The ancient Master's face never lost the calm look that could infuriate her so. For the first time, she thought it might also infuriate the younger Master.

But not for the first time, she thought the ancient Jedi blind to the needs of the people he led. Could Yoda not see that there was more to Obi-Wan?s insistence on going after Anakin than just a Master?s responsibility to his Padawan? Could he not see that it was the love of a father for a son?

Or maybe she was fitting her own looming parenthood over the situation, she couldn?t tell. But she knew Obi-Wan had to do this. ?Let him go, Master Yoda.?

She could see the gratitude in Obi-Wan?s eyes, and knew she had done the right thing by interceding. Pushing herself up on an elbow, she summoned a smile for him before he left. ?But promise you?ll come back. I have children that will want to know you.?

The argument abruptly ended, he promised and left, all within the space of a few minutes. She, her handmaid and Yoda passed the time he was gone mostly in silence, and for the

 

Oh, poor poor Padme. I'm glad that she was on Obi-Wan's side in that. He needed to go, if nothing else than to try and redeem his apprentice. Such pain he must have gone through.

And poor Mon - unable to comfort her son without letting him know who she is. I'm wondering just how upset he will be when (if) he finds out....

Great job. I love this fic.