Ultimate Author Excuses: Add Yours !

Lovely creative excuses!




More excuses.


~ "* insert author's name* will not be able to update any of their fanfics ever again." ::dies::


::readers cry NOOOO!!! :::


~ My muse died!


~ my second cousins aunt's old roommate died, and I must go to the funeral.


~ My plotbunnies got the black plague and all died!!

 

Because I had to take my puppy to the vet because he swallowed an earring back and now has to get emergency surgery. I'm actually going to use this one...silly puppy.

 

She'd been one of the good mods once; everybody respected her. But then she retreated deeper and deeper into fanfic, and nobody heard from her. All that came out were rumors that she'd carved out her own little fiefdom somewhere in the heart of that darkness. Six people'd already been sent after her, but none ever came back. Now it was my turn to venture into fanfic to pull the plug on whatever Leona had going there. Didn't know if I was up to it; even after the fact, I still don't, probably never will.

::icks self off floor::: Drabba, I love your excuses!

Here's some of mine:

I can't decide which character to kill off.

I have to go help fight the global war on terror.

My dog ate my computer.

My muse is being uncooperative. It actually just sits there and laughs at me every time I try to write.

I just discovered that my parents found me in a field when I was a baby, I'm actually from the planet Krypton, and I have all these powers I have to learn to deal with.

When I try to write angst and suspense, my annoying muse keeps telling me to make it funny.

I refuse to write until the wall the separates Germany is taken down! Oh wait....

I don't have time for fanfic, I need more time to write my manifesto.

My inability to write remotely intelligible fanfic is caused by: (pick one)

a. The Council on Foreign Relations
b. The UN black helicopters
c. Dick Cheney
d. The vast right wing conspiracy
e. The second gunman on the grassy knoll
f. Big Oil
g. All of the above

 

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

My computer's been eaten by the Black Beast of Aargh.

I've been hired to write the script for Episode VII: The Quest for Peace.

I've lost my . . . thingy . . . y'know, 3 syllables, begins with M . . .

Darth Vader from the Planet Vulcan came to me in the night and said that if I didn't get a life, he would melt my brain.

I would like to make it very clear that I have absolutely not been recruited by MI5. Even if I had been, MI5 doesn't exist.

Jurisfiction convicted me of a Class One Fiction Infraction. I'll update as soon as they let me out of Dante's Inferno.

I'm conducting an experiment to see if an infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of typewriters can produce my final chapter for me.

George Lucas phoned to say he wants me to ghost-write his autobiography.

I've decided that when I die, this story is going to be my Unfinished Masterpiece.

 

Darth Work has offered me POWER, UNLIMITED POWER! if I would become its apprentice. And free coffee.

 

- Darth Real Life has me in his clutches and has decreed that I will never be free. I am powerless to resist him.

Cheers,
Wyo

 

I have started a love affair with one of my OCs. He's a very jealous lover and insists on me writing nothing but his fics.

 

Still have a case of the "Gah!'s" from fic trivia. Update will be somewhat delayed...

I tried using the boards search engine, and couldn't find my fic again...

 

- My muse up and left me... she said I was too clingy.

- I'm being treated for a severe plot bunny bite... they think it might have had rabies.

- I lost a bet to Darth Writer's Block. He demanded I hand over my fic until I can pay up.

- My evil personality hid my stoy's file. I have him tied up until he tells me where it is!


Cheers,
Wyo

 

Darth Vader from the Planet Vulcan came to me in the night and said that if I didn't get a life, he would melt my brain.

Best line in the movie!


I listened to my muse, and now I'm in jail, using my one phone call to connect to the Internet.

I need to train with Shaolin monks before I can finish my big philosophical epic on Jedi history.

 

I was depressed,

school has done nothing but make tired all the time,

I was looking for job again,

I was just to tired to write,

I ended up playing guitar for more then 2 hours.

The words just wouldn't come,

My muse is gone again,

I've been under alot stress,

I forgot my reason for writing in the frist place.

I was playing to much, ps2, GC, X-box and X-box 360.

I was working out and didn't have the time,

I can't write when there are 5 different people that want to read over my shoulder.

I ended up haveing to things for school,

I'm working on getting into collage,

I have 5 test this week,

I have finals coming,

I lost the idea I had,

I have writen a part of fic on paper and now I don't feel like putting in word.

The teahcer took up what I was writing and riped it up.

I got kicked out of my house

I didn't know enough about the world I was writing in, I had to look alot of info.

I got attack by fan boys/girls.

I was doing kick boxing again,

I got into a fight with someone,

The day has just sucked,

I've been trying to give my fans/readers what they want I don't want let them down.

my beta is gone again, and is busy.

Its raining and lighting and I don't want to get shocked while siting at the computer.

I couldn't read my writing on a note pad,

I lost that note pad.

I was to board to write.

Its to hot/cold to stay in the room my computer is in for a long time.

I have to write for school and I have no ideas for the fic.


I stayed up all night talking to someone and ended up talking more to them then writing.

 

Am not in "the zone" at present. Fic delayed until "the zone" is found again.

 

I couldn't read my writing on a note pad



As for my excuses:


EARTHQUAKE!!!!! ( ) (There hasn't been any earthquake in Switzerland so far)

What else...

* I'm injured from my fight with Darth College

* I wanted to update now, but I think some burglars are trying to enter my appartment...I think I'll better go check it out. Sorry!

* I can't decide how I should better kill Anakin. Or should I perhaps kill Padme too?

* Mu muse has left me = I want to go out tonight. (Lol, this is a mean excuse!)

* My Mum wants to have the phone. Sorry folks, but I have to free the phone line. (But we have a wireless. )

* I'm hungry. My dear readers, I love you all, but I love my stomach even more.

 

I sprained my toe.

I have to wash my hair.

I wrote about Force lightning too close to my phone line and it knocked out the power.

My OCs are trying to kill each other and I have to break it up because I need them both alive in Chapter 9.

I got hit in the head with a thud bug.

Fanfic? What's fanfic? No speak English.

 

My brain was stuck in my madeup language.

 

Because I had to take my puppy to the vet because he swallowed an earring back and now has to get emergency surgery.

Hope your puppy is okay!

Our German Shepherd ate the diamond out of my engagement ring. That diamond wasn't big enough to follow her around. Hubby offered to buy me a really obnoxious sized diamond, but I told him I'd rather have a truly unique wedding band, so I'm trying to find a designer to do one like my grandmother had (Papa buried it with her when she died).

How about:

I'm sick and terribly afraid I won't die as an excuse?

 

How about... (okay, this is actually true)

I had to replace the mother board of my computer to make it work properly, and then my mother got cancer, and then my dad developed lymphedema to match mine, and then my hard drive went kerfooey, and....

 

BrightFeather!


Got second job, have been working nine hour days, can't bring myself to type anything, but keep getting attacked by plot bunnies while on the phone...

 

How about:

I don't like the current banner and color scheme of the board my story is posted on, when it changes to something more astetically pleasing to me, then I'll update.

 

School
Exams
Moving
DRL
DWB
Sick
Work

 

I'm a lazy so-and-so who ought to be shot. BANG OW! I just shot my own darn foot. Well, no update now. I use a treadle computer and until that foot is through surgery and PT, I won't be able to update. Gotta go, I'm running out of jui

 

Sorry, I had to do that Vanity Fair photoshoot with Tom and Katie. It took me awhile to fit into the baby costume.

 

* My characters have filed a lawsuit preventing me from using them for a while. Something about unusual torture, death and fluffiness.

*I'm sick (of writing)

*______hasn't updated in a long time, why should I ?

* can't breathe.

* I couldn't I was at the ER. (I could have used this one recently)

 

Oh gosh...These are my real excuses.

- I just watched the movie 'The Great Dictator'. I'm not able to write about evil things.

- I haven't decided how I want to get Palpatine killed! Should I hang him? Or let him burn in Mustafar?

- I still have no new bedspread. I can't write if my room is imperfect!

- My sister is leaving to Spain for eight months. I have to spend as much time as possible with her.

- Everyone gives me their sympathy! Why should I hurry then?

- My sister stoles the internet cable all the time! How am I supposed to update?

- I'm in love with my OC. But I know I can't have him!

- I have become interested in astrology. I just can't think of Star Wars now! I have to find out what is Gemini's lucky number.

- I am working on my second coverart. It's not easy or fast work, guys.

- My Master has disappeared, and I can't do anything without her presence.

- I want to be Knighted, and I want to be the most powerful Sith ever! Conflicting? Yes.
And I want to be the most talented writer here. So, I kind of have a crisis with myself.

- I should read few books for school, do my homework, go to gym, tidy up my room, buy that new bedspread, do some discources, decrease the amount of candies that I eat, sleep more, drink more water, go to foam bath, buy some new things, prepare for the trip to Austria...

- Okay, I am lazy, and I feel bad about it. [Obi-wan]I'm so sorry.[Obi-wan]

 

My beta has ADD...

DL Purple Pencil