Ultimate Author Excuses: Add Yours !

I've been swamped at work. I evict nursery rhyme characters from their homes. Today, it was that damned woman who lived in a shoe. It's not my fault she has all those kids and didn't want to get a job to keep up with her rent. Who has time to write when you have to deal with that kind of stuff?

 

On a cold rainy day in Manhattan, I stepped out of an open window on the thirty-sixth floor of a high-rise, mistaking it for an elevator, plummeted like a wingless ox to the ground, only to land on a fruit-vendor's cart of mush melons, then stepped out of the cart into the path of a bus, knocked aside like a mere rag doll, rolled in a tangled ball of broken limbs down an open manhole cover, was swept by raging torrents from end of the city to another, washed out into open sea, where in my desperation I mistook a shark for a marker bouy, and in my foolishness lost my pinky fingers, an ear, and half a kneecap.

No, this didn't really happen to me (what are the chances of this happening anyway?). But it makes one heckuva excuse and story!

 

Um...uh...

...I suck, okay?

 

--I've been exiled from the Internet until I can capture the Avatar of Fanfic and get my honor back.

--My plot bunnies are eating me! Quick, get them off!

--The plot bunnies multiplied so quickly they started to cover my keyboard, and I can barely type. I think they have tribble genes.

--My muse turned into someone from another fandom.

--My professors don't accept fanfic instead of essays, for some reason.

--I want more, and I know I shouldn't.

--Looking at General Grievous broke my brain.

--Learning Japanese has impaired my ability to speak English. Watashi wa baka desu . . . .

--I poisoned myself with my own cooking.

--My Internet connection rides the short bus.

--You know, don't you remember that time in the place with the guy? Yeah. That's why.

--I just found out that Darth Vader is my father.

 

I am beta?ing way too many fics.

My beta is beta?ing way too many fics, moding another board, has a three year old, has a husband who gets annoyed when she spends too much time on the computer...you see, it's not my fault!!!

My beta is also my coauthor and well...see the above.

I am writing in another fandom and every time I return to the GFFA, my OCs are cut down by an unforgivable curse!!

I?m renovating my house.

It?s a full moon.

It?s not a full moon.

GL has threatened to sue!

It?s been so long, the thread has been locked.

My father died. (this one unfortunately is true)

 

My computer ate the dog, and all I get now are Lassie fics.

 

I shouldn't laugh. I've been sucked in by another fandom.

 

--I want to write Project A. But I can't write Project A until I do Project B. I don't want to do Project B. Therefore, I do nothing.

--Writing is cutting into my ten hours of internet surfing per day, and we just can't have that.

--My nose is running.

--My OC rejected me, even though I am his creator. Now, I must go off and sob whilst listening to the Cure's Disintegration.

--Well, they said I had to have what they call a beta. So until I get one, I can't write a word. Writing: It's another team sport.

--Some people who called themselves "canon nazis" came and broke my fingers and my computer. It turned out they had thought I had written a Sue for Full Metal Alchemist, an anime I know nothing about.

--I ran out of words.

--Somewhere, somehow, someone stole a character I made up. Now, I can no longer write about them at all. And no, I'm too upset to write about anyone else.

--Padmé is my mother.

 

This is not here.

 

I did update. I updated yesterday. TFN must have eaten my post.

 

I wanted to write, but then I stumbled over <pimp favourite stroy here> and ended up reading the whole time...

 

MsLanna, distraction and misdirection works.

* Can't update, I was busy getting a guy's #, you know... for research. For my fic. SO I really was... working on my fic...

*Sorry, all the 1/2 naked men running around in grass skirts are distracting me, and then there is the Anakin banner, and well how can I think about the other characters?


*I'm too happy to write Angst right now. I don't want to ruin the mood you know.

*So the guys I got the numbers of, want to take me out in the gorgeous weather on dates, and so.. really. It's just more research. My research is taking up all of my free time.

*It's too nice outside to stay cooped up writing inside.

 

I'm studying for the priesthood.

Someone told me SW is not real.

I'm writing a sitcom about three men and a goat.

 

So I get on my computer to do a little writing before dinner time. But before I do, I want to check my e-mail for any messeges from my friends. Finding none, I log into TF. net to see if they sent me a PM instead. I find a reminder that one of my favorite stories has been updated. I go read the new chapter. A half hour gone, I decide that I will now do my writing. But I want to check Resource really quick to see what's new. I see a new post in the Obi-Wan thread - someone has posted a challenge response. I go read it. Then someone sends me an e-mail, which I also read and reply to. A few more random distractions later and I'm finally ready to write.

Then my mom calls me downstairs for dinner.

Yes, this really does happen to me.

 

I planned on working on my story at the place I work at. Usually no one comes but that day we had a slew of people come through.

 

Official excuses:
1. vaction
2.school
3.homework
4.more homework
5.homework up the whazoo

unofficial excuses:
1. I'm mad at my characters right now and refuse to write about them till they apologize(,,,,any time now)
2.I'm on the verge of discovering who assisnated John F. Kennedy(.......really)
3.Nijas took over my house and are holding me hostage(don't ask how im typing this)

 

Someone told me he fell in love with my Drabbles and now he is doing a reat job when it comes to distracting me all the time.

What can a do against such a devoted groupie/fan

cheers,

VeryBusy

 

Official excuses this month

--All my writing is going towards NaNoWri Mo

--I'm making this decision whether or not to flee the country like I was planning on doing.

-- I'm sick

--It's my birthday! People are taking me out!

---It's my moms, or stepmom's birthday.

--- It's Ish's birthday. I have to write for her, and bug her.

--- I have to shop and plan for Christmas!

--- Eating Turkey put me to sleep. Can't write while I'm asleep!

 

I have to many things I want to do, and never have the time to write.

I wish that wasn't true.

 

I had to write pirate stories for a 7-year-old monster instead.

 

I'm on heavy painkillers. You don't even want to know what madness would come out if I tried to write.

I've been working on so many cartoons that it's likely an X-Wing would fall out of the sky and smash the villain, thus ending the story with pointless slapstick humour.

 

I was attacked by a Ring/Supernatural/Star Wars semi-crossover vorpal plotbunny with sharp, pointy teeth. That plotbunny went down in a duel with my lightsaber-wielding, salt-throwing, non-tape-watching muse but the muse is now recovering from battle wounds and the doctor said to give her lots of TLC and not let her do anything strenuous for a week. Drabbles are okay, but full vignettes and chapter fics are right out if I want her to heal.

 

Darth RL, all the way. He's my primary nemesis and the main reason why I'm late for a posting deadline (sorry, everyone following TFS2 !). It's either him, or that I'm sick. Which I was a few weeks ago--UGH. Yes, in all capital letters. It was horrible.

But now I'm better.

And I have no excuse.

 

My excuses...

Exams. (Mind you, I finish most of my exams early and then scribble down parts of my stories in the remaining time, so that doesn't always work...)

I get distracted easi- what was that? *bounds off to look at something*

My family actually expect me to be sociable.

I'm being torn apart by a dozen different fandoms.

My 100+ bunnies I'm keeping captive are turning rabid and eating me alive! *runs away*

I've got about ten different fics running at the same time! (yet the best I seem to be able to do is only about 2 words each time I look at them...)

My parents insist that I go to bed at my best writing time. They seem to believe I need more of this thing known as sleep.

 

I forgot that I had posted this story.

My broken was acting all funky and it prevented me from posting.

I think I caught what my computer caught: a cold.

I've lost my inspiration to write.

Other online responsiblities have prevented me from actively posting here.

~ aeryn