Before - Legends Under Duress - Dear Diary Entry - Sian Ny - updated 12/3

Jinn is big yes. To hide him would be dificult. Great update again

 

Awwwwww poor Sian...

*hugs him* My heart just breaks for him.

 

Yay, an update!

I miss him. What could be simpler than that? It seems a very natural thing to miss someone when you?ve cared about them more than yourself and now they?re gone. It would be more unnatural not to miss them. Wouldn?t it?

Oh, poor Sian... I feel so bad for him. *hugs him* A very nice update on your part, though, and I'm looking forward to more.

 

Poor Sian suffering from the loss of his padawan and being tortured my Qui-Gon. I'm not sure if there is a place big enough to hide the body.

Looking forward to more.

 

I like Sian.
OK, she's bitter and not taking the death of her Padwan well, but that makes her very human.

I like her plans to kill Jinn, let's see how they progress.

 

I don't think plotting Qui-Gon's death was what the Healers had in mind for Sian to use to work thorough his pain and grief.

It was quite amusing to read, though.

And now the nightmares have started....

I hope he will decide to talk to someone.

Great update

 

I wonder if Qui-Gon's purpose is to serve as a target for Sian's anguish? He's a big guy, he can take it. But otherwise it's a such sad story for the character.

 

Every day when I wake up and I can?t walk out of my own room, I?m reminded of the day ? the very hour ? that I lost Trin. That sounds like I miss my legs more than I miss Trin, but that is not true at all. I would give my arms, my legs, my life a thousand times over to bring him back ? to grab hold of him and pull him up as he dangled over that cliff and then feel him climb up to lay beside me, panting and sweaty andscared. But alive.

Alive.

Sometimes, if I let myself, I can feel his hand in mine, feel it slip away from me. Stars above, he fell so slowly. It took forever for him to hit the bottom and the whole time I kept thinking ?This can?t be real.?

But it was. And he?s gone. I watched him die.

why do you torment me with angst MamaV?!?!?

That being said, I think a horse's body bag would fit Jinn pretty well...

 

earlybird-obi-wan I'm sure if Sian thinks hard enough, he can come up with a solution.

Layren He's a sweetie, isn't he??

Star-Foozle Thank you for reading!

Lea-El If only Qui-Gon had not eaten his Wheaties!

MsLanna Well, Sian is still dealing wtih a lot of guilt and it is a very recent event. He'll come around.

KELIA With his charm, I'm sure someone will volunteer!

ardavenport Yep, those shoulders are certainly BROAD!

correllian_ale But could you find the SW equivalent on Coruscant??

---

[b]Entry #5[/b]

The Dark Side is alive and well and it dwells in Jocasta Nu. Actually, I?m amazed that she hasn?t been identified as a Sith long before this. What the hell is the Council doing, letting that woman roam around the Temple?

Okay, I might be exaggerating just [i]slightly[/i].

Maybe I?m just tired. I swear I?m not even enjoying tormenting her as much as I was. Now she just rolls her eyes and shakes her head, which is not nearly as rewarding as her fierce glowers and long-suffering sighs. However, I do think that my mere existence annoys her, so that is of some comfort.

Come to think of it, she?s one of the few females in the Temple that?s never been affected by this face the Force gave me. I admit it, I got used to seeing the appreciation in their eyes when they got a good look at me. I mean, I?m a Jedi and all, but still? Any man who isn?t dead yet has to feel [i]some[/i] sense of gratification when a woman almost melts at his feet.

That melting part would be a lot easier now, since I?m always sitting. I digress.

An old friend came to see me today, not Jinn, thank the Force!

It was Lynka.

I haven?t seen her since? Well since.

To be honest, I wasn?t sure I wanted to see her. I had too many memories with her, memories of happier times when we were young and I wasn?t broken. There was no pity in her eyes, just sorrow for my loss. That I could accept.

She brought me wisteryls, a flower I?ve always liked. Trin liked them too.

And once again, I am brought full circle to face that loss.

Round and round I go, coming back to the same point over and over again.

I feel dizzy and tired, but I am afraid to sleep.

Who knew that sleep could be so terrifying?

 

Dark side in Jocasta Nu. Loved it as a light side archivist. Great update

 

The Dark Side is alive and well and it dwells in Jocasta Nu. Actually, I?m amazed that she hasn?t been identified as a Sith long before this. What the hell is the Council doing, letting that woman roam around the Temple?

Okay, I might be exaggerating just slightly.

*snickers* I'm sure Sian isn't the only one who feels that way about the Lady Archivist...

I love Sian's sense of humor, even if it is a bit wry. Poor guy, he needs to get some sleep. *hugs him*

Nice job, and thanks for the PM!

 

Jocasta Nu a Sith!



Actually, there are probably quite a few Jedi who've made a litte too much noise in the archives and incurred her wrath who would agree

How sweet Lynka came to see him and did not pity him.

Very nice update

 

The Dark Side is alive and well and it dwells in Jocasta Nu.



She brought me wisteryls, a flower I?ve always liked. Trin liked them too.

And once again, I am brought full circle to face that loss.

Round and round I go, coming back to the same point over and over again.

I feel dizzy and tired, but I am afraid to sleep.

Who knew that sleep could be so terrifying?

Ah, so sad. But so true.

 

However, I do think that my mere existence annoys her, so that is of some comfort.



Come to think of it, she's one of the few females in the Temple that's never been affected by this face the Force gave me.



He has the same troubles I have, just too good looking for our own good.

I didn't know you wrote male characters so well, Vader, so life-like, lol.

Are you going to update this every day?

 

Ooops! I missed a post. Poor Sian can't even find pleasure in torturing Jocasta.

I hope his hew visitor makes him feel better.

 

earlybird-obi-wan Thank you! Glad you enjoyed!

Star-Foozle I admit, I have a major crush on Sian.

KELIA He and Lynka have a history.

correllian_ale Sian's dreams aren't very good ones.

BrentusofGath I've got a husband, three sons, and at least ten nephews (I don't count some of them on some days. )

Lea-El She does.

---

[b]Entry #6[/b]

I have decided to let Jinn live.

I wish I could say that my reasons for doing so are merciful, but I have to admit that I?m worried about the big guy. His Padawan, Xanatos, is giving him some cause for concern and I?m afraid I don?t have any reassuring words to give him.

To be completely honest, and since Jinn will never see this journal, I can admit here that I?ve never particularly cared for Xanatos. He?s handsome, yes, but it isn?t jealousy that prompts this feeling. Truthfully, this face of mine has been a hindrance as much as it has been a help.

Anyway, back to Jinn and that Padawan of his.

There?s always been something about the boy that struck me as arrogant. Trin never liked him either, and I learned quickly that Trin had a very good sense for people. Xanatos [i]knew[/i] Trin didn?t like him, and once I heard him mocking my Padawan in a very nasty voice.

I couldn?t make out the exact words, but the intent was clear. I asked Trin later, but he merely shook his head and said, ?It doesn?t matter, Master, and besides, haven?t you often said it?s best to let us work out such things on our own??

That was typical of Trin ? always reminding me how to be the best Master possible.

Jinn came to me last night and we shared a few ales (more than a few if I am going to go for the concept of complete honesty) and he opened up a bit. It seems he has been worried about Xanatos for some time now.

He looked at me and said softly in a voice I?ve never heard Jinn use, ?I?m not sure he?s meant to be a Jedi, Sian.? And that was the only statement he?s ever made that revealed any doubt at all in his Padawan.

I have only seen Xanatos once since my injury, he stood uncomfortably at Qui-Gon?s side in the healing ward.

There is some good news, however. Lynka came to my quarters two days ago and told me to get dressed. I asked her if she was completely sure she [i]wanted[/i] me dressed and she laughed and told me we could negotiate later. It was nice to feel normal again.

She took me to a little club we used to visit between missions and we listened to some jizz music. Then she took me to the dance floor, hoverchair and all, and we moved to the music.

Maybe I have a future after all.

 

Trin was right about Xanatos and that about dancing in a hoverchair Great.

 

I have decided to let Jinn live.

Poor Jinn so distraught about his padawan it was nice of Sian to have a drink and talk to him.

Negotiations??? Is that the new name for it?

I love the dance hover chair and all.

Bad Lea!! Maybe Sian and Yoda could have a race to raise funds for orphans. Bad bad Lea!

 

I have only seen Xanatos once since my injury, he stood uncomfortably at Qui-Gon?s side in the healing ward.

There is some good news, however. Lynka came to my quarters two days ago and told me to get dressed. I asked her if she was completely sure she wanted me dressed and she laughed and told me we could negotiate later. It was nice to feel normal again.

She took me to a little club we used to visit between missions and we listened to some jizz music. Then she took me to the dance floor, hoverchair and all, and we moved to the music.

Maybe I have a future after all.




Awwwww at least Sian is healing somewhat. Poor guy. And my it seems like he may be the one comforting Qui-Gon in the future....

 

I just found this, and am glad I did. As usual, you do a great job with manipulating the feelings and pulling in the reader to care about your character.

Hmm.. Qui-Gon as a sith... nah! He may be a rogue, but definitely not of the dark side!

Jocasta Nu, on the other hand...

Dancing in the hoverchair, ah, now that was nice.

If you get the feeling I enjoyed this, you'd be correct.

 

I have decided to let Jinn live.

I'm sure Qui-Gon will be happy to hear that.

Truthfully, this face of mine has been a hindrance as much as it has been a help.

And he thinks Xanatos is arrogant?

I am glad to see Lynka is helping him to feel hopeful for his future.

Great update

 

I asked her if she was completely sure she wanted me dressed and she laughed and told me we could negotiate later.

LOL Yeah, you tell her! Exactly how I handle my women.



Good update, Vadey!

 

earlybird-obi-wan Glad you liked it!

Lea-El Nice plot bunny.

Layren Well that's where we met Sian, in that viggie where you asked for this particular OC. It's all your fault.

Alexis_Wingstar That's always nice to know!

KELIA Actually, I think Sian sees his good looks as more of a handicap than his actual handicap!

BrentusofGath Nice to know, Brentus!

---

[b]Chapter 7[/b]


Lynka came back today and informed me that I need to stop wallowing. If Jinn had said the same thing I probably would have punched him. I didn?t punch Lynka for two reasons ? one she?s very pretty and two, she would have hit back and harder.

It?s been three months now since Trin died and I?m slowly becoming accustomed to this new life. It?s not that I want to be used to living without him, but I know he would be disappointed in me if he saw me doing otherwise. Besides that, Lynka will hurt me.

I still haven?t told anyone about the nightmares. Strangely, I feel almost protective of them. As horrible as they are, they do provide some sort of link to Trin. I can see him again, feel the touch of his hand (as it slips from mine ? slowly, slowly, slowly ? I?ll never forget that feeling). So while the circumstances are terrifying, for those few brief seconds he is alive again and there is still hope.

That?s stupid, I know, but still true.

The dream/nightmare doesn?t come every night, thank the stars. Just every now and then, as if to remind me of what I lost. That sounds selfish. It was Trin who lost, not me.

I?m going to ask Lynka to come over and have a drink tonight. I need the company and we have a comfortable history together. There will be no anxiety-producing expectations between us. Though I wouldn?t be amiss to finding out which parts work and which don?t. That, of course, will be up to her.

Anyway, Jinn is off to Telos with that Padawan of his. Qui-Gon confided to me that this will be Xanatos? last mission as an apprentice and that he will be ready for knighthood after this. I wanted to congratulate him on it, but something held me back. The Force works in strange ways at times, a fact that I am only now beginning to accept.

And I wonder if it is the Force that is whispering in my head at night, telling me that Jinn is about to face something difficult. I can only hope that the mission goes smoothly and Xanatos is knighted and sets off on his own. He?ll be happier that way, I think. And so will Jinn, he just doesn?t know it yet.

By the way, that Healer is still an idiot, but this journal idea wasn?t [i]completely[/i] terrible. Not that I?ll tell her that.

 

Though I wouldn't be amiss to finding out which parts work and which don't. That, of course, will be up to her.

Hehe, the old softie.



Or at least, he'd better hope not.

Loved the update!

 

another great update and "By the way, that Healer is still an idiot"