Beyond - Legends We Can't Move On, We Can't Stay Here (Mara/Corran songfic)

Title: We Can't Move On, We Can't Stay Here (aka Mockingbird)

Author: Tarsier

Timeframe: New Republic era alternate universe

Characters: Major - Mara, Corran; Minor - Luke, Aves, Mirax

Genre: angst, romance, songfic

Summary: Mara and Corran as a couple. It doesn't end well.

Warnings: character death?

Discalimer: Based on the lyrics to "Mockingbird" by Rob Thomas. The lyrics appear in green italics throughout the story, note that they have been somewhat rearranged. The characters were created by Timothy Zahn and Michael A. Stackpole. The characters, places, etc. belong to Lucasfilm.

Author Notes: This will be posted in three parts. Any and all comments are very much appreciated.

---

~ Part 1 ~​

Here we stand
Somewhere in between this moment and the end

It was misty. The air on Yavin was always thick with humidity, but today the mist was inescapable, seeming to penetrate everything to the core.

Mara was just returning from her morning run when she noticed the x-wing in the landing field. The all too familiar x-wing.

This has to be a joke, she thought to herself. Not him. Not here. Not now.

But it was him, here, now. She recognized every dent and scratch on the vehicle. She knew the patina of the hull, the slight arc of the s-foils. Just as she knew every scar on his chest, every contour of his face . . .

She tore her gaze from the ship, searching for something—anything—else to focus on. Instead of finding a distraction, her eyes came to rest on a figure standing just outside the temple.

The owner of the x-wing, Corran Horn, saw her too. Neither one moved a muscle, they just stared at each other across the field.


Will we bend
Or will we open up and take this whole thing in

Luke Skywalker appeared from inside the temple and broke the spell. Mara and the x-wing pilot looked away simultaneously.

“Mara,” Skywalker called.

Part of her wanted to sprint back into the woods. Another part of her refused to let him dictate her actions. She walked with forced casualness up to Skywalker, not giving the other man another glance.

“Yes?”

“I found you a partner for your next mission.” The Jedi Master gestured to the man beside him.

After everything, he wants us to be partners? Was Skywalker really that oblivious? Or just stupid?

Corran, the man she’d come here to forget, was staring at her—she could feel it. Skywalker bowed his head and disappeared back into the temple.

“Mara, we need to talk.” The voice sliced through the air with an intensity that made her heart beat faster.

Slowly she turned toward him. She knew the next few moments could change her life.

-------------------​

​

Seven years earlier...

Everybody else is smiling
Man, their smiles don't fade

The first time Corran saw her, he knew she would change his life. Her hair was the color of fire, yet immediately he sensed it was but a dim reflection of the passion deep within her. She didn’t smile as she looked at him, she simply ran an appraising eye over him as he approached.

“Mara Jade,” Luke began, “This is Corran Horn.”

“Nice to meet you,” Corran said.

Ignoring Corran’s proffered hand, Mara replied, “I’m only here to get Skywalker off my back about attending his Jedi ranch.”

“And why do you think I’m here?” Corran asked. In truth Corran had been looking forward to the meeting—Luke had apparently thought he could entice both Corran and Mara to come to his academy with the promise of another student of similar age and experience. Corran had no intention of attending an academy at this point in his life, but he was interested to see the other recruit.

“Alright, we’ve met,” Mara declared, “Happy now?”

“Delighted,” Luke said drily. He glanced at his chrono. “Something’s come up and I have to go. But I already reserved a table at the café. Why don’t you two try to get to know each other a little better? You might have more in common than you think.”

“Well, as long as you’re paying,” Corran replied with a wink, “We can hardly say no to free food.”

Luke twisted his lip. “I never—”

Mara scowled, but nodded. “Fine. You’ve got half an hour.”


You don't even wonder why
You just don't think that way

The first time Mara saw him, she thought he was a dumb jock. Well, he was Force-sensitive, so that made him a little more interesting. And his eyes were sharp, sparkling with a familiar passion, so maybe he wasn’t quite as dumb as most fighter pilots. And sure, he had pleasing features and an eye-catching build.

Alright, she reluctantly decided during that first fateful meeting, maybe spending a few minutes with him wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

After lunch at the café, they made plans to meet again. And again. Seeing Corran became a regular thing. Something she expected, something she looked forward to. Something she didn’t want to end.

She was starting to lose control.

 

Oooooh, nice!


I always put Mara and Corran together as friends in my stories, and I'm currently writing one that takes place at the Academy, so this is very interesting. Can't wait to read more!

 

Seeing Corran became a regular thing. Something she expected, something she looked forward to. Something she didn?t want to end.

She was starting to lose control.

Hadn't really thought of these two in this kind of context. Love it here, and like seeing Mara in this light, and Luke's dry sarcasm.

 

Oooh, intriguing pairing you have here.

LOL!!!! but it seems so "easy" to pair Mara with different ones, but Luke only seems right with her.

IMHO that is.

 

JediMara77
I always put Mara and Corran together as friends in my stories, and I'm currently writing one that takes place at the Academy, so this is very interesting.
Yeah, even if they're not a couple I agree Mara and Corran could be really good friends. Thanks for reading!

Daenabenjen42
Thank you! I really like Luke in this story, I keep wanting to add more with him but have to remind myself it's not really his story.

Jade_eyes
I like playing around with different pairings, and I can see both Luke and Mara with different people--but there's only a few different pairings I like for either of them. Thanks for reading!

---

~ Part 2 ~​

​

Take my hand
I will lead you through the broken promise land

“Where were you?! I’ve been looking all over this kriffin’ planet for you!”

“Hardly.” Mara was in the engine room of Jade’s Fire, a series of metal parts and cleaning fluids arrayed before her. She continued to polish a part she held in her hand, not looking up when Corran entered.

“So, what? You just blow me off, have me worried sick, and don’t even apologize?” Corran knelt before Mara, trying to make eye contact.

“I was there at 8:00. You didn’t show up.”

“I got a little delayed! I expected you to wait more than five minutes for me.”

Mara lifted her head, finally meeting Corran’s eyes as she snapped, “I expected you to be there when you said you would be!”

“Like you’ve never been late,” Corran bit out. “Only when you’re late it’s because you’re hanging out with your smuggler pals.”

“Oh, grow up! I’m working, you’re getting wasted with a bunch of flyboys.”

“Don’t insult my friends.”

They had moved closer with each retort and now their faces were nearly touching. Mara’s lips brushed against Corran’s as she spoke. “Don’t demean my colleagues.”

Corran opened his mouth with another heated rejoinder, but instead of speaking he pushed his lips against hers. Mara kissed him back, momentarily letting go of her annoyance and frustration, surrendering instead to a different passion.


Yes I can, oh, yes I can
I can be there when you need it
I'll give it all til you can't feel it anymore

Corran breathed quietly beside Mara. She closed her eyes and focused on the rhythmic pulsing of his breath. She could hear him, but she could also feel him. His presence was strong and soothing, even as he slept.

Everything seemed so perfect, so easy at times like this. Why did she let things get so difficult?

Because he wasn’t there.

He said he would be there and he wasn’t.

Because she trusted him and she shouldn’t have. She felt stupid and embarrassed waiting for him, like some lovestruck teenager with nothing better to do than pine for a man who may or may not care enough to show up.

Because she was just supposed to be in it for a good time and instead she’d let herself care enough to get hurt.

She didn’t wake him before she left. She was leaving Coruscant and they wouldn’t see each other for a while. But that was good, right now she just needed distance.


Maybe you and me got lost somewhere
We can't move on, we can’t stay here

“I didn’t know when I would see you again! You left without so much as a goodbye. I just don’t get it, Mara. What do you want from me?”

“Nothing! I don’t need anything from you.”

“If you don’t expect anything from me, why are you so mad?”

“I’m not mad at you. Not everything’s about you, Corran.”

The words stung, far more than she had intended. Because that was the crux of it, that was why this relationship had gotten so off course. Because he thought about her constantly, he could see spending the rest of his life with her. Every time he made a decision he thought about her. What would she think? How would it affect their relationship?

But that wasn’t how she saw things. She liked to spend time with him, he was fairly certain of that. But she was afraid to commit to him, to let him into her life in a real way. Maybe if he took the first step, if he showed her he was in this until the end.

He had to do something, they couldn’t keep up this relationship as it was.


Maybe we’ve just had enough
Well, maybe we ain’t meant for this love

Corran knelt before Mara holding a small black box. “You know I love you, Mara. I just want you to know that I’m all in.”

For several seconds, Mara silently looked back and forth between Corran and the engagement ring nestled in the box he held before him. Finally she replied, “So this is an ultimatum? All or nothing?”

“What? No—I just—obviously our relationship has been a bit rocky lately, I want you to know I’m willing to commit if that’s what it takes.”

Mara snapped the small box shut and pushed it towards him. “You’re right. Things have been rocky. Maybe we’re better off just cutting ties.”

 

~ Part 3 ~​

You and me tried everything
But still that mockingbird won’t sing

Mara was putting the final barrette in her hair when Aves appeared, dressed in his best suit.

“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked.

“I’m going with you, of course.”

“Thanks, but I was going to these things by myself for years before I even met you. I’ll be fine.”

“What if I want to go?”

Mara gave him a dubious look. “It’s just another boring gala. You should be glad Karrde isn’t making you go.”

“It won’t be as bad if you have someone to talk to.” Aves hesitated. “You know Mirax will be there.”

“Mirax can have Corran. It’s been almost a year since we broke up. Trust me, I’m over him.”

“Okay, but I’m still going. I’m already dressed and everything.”

“Fine. But if I hear one complaint . . .”


Man this life seems hard enough
Well maybe we ain’t meant for this love

Aves tried to step in front of Mara, to block off her view. But Mara saw around him. She saw Corran. And Mirax. The sight of them together made her slightly ill, but she was going to turn away and ignore them the rest of the night. Until something caught her eye. A sparkle. The glint of a diamond on Mirax’s finger.

Mara suddenly knew why Aves was so eager to go with her, but Aves was now the least of her concerns. The air had left the room, or at least it had left her lungs. She couldn’t breathe. She had to get out. She found a door and shoved it open. It led into a garden and she soon lost herself among the vegetation, a snarled curse keeping Aves from following her.

Finding herself in the middle of a patch of Ithorian roses, she fell to her knees. One of the cobalt blooms dared to dangle too close to her face and she ripped it from its branch, ignoring the blood drawn as the thorns bit into her flesh.

She was furious—yes, that was the word, furious, certainly not devastated—not at him, not at her, but only with herself. How did she let this happen? How could she have given up so much control that the mere sight of two people and a ring made her run and cry like a lost little girl?

--------------​

We need to talk.

Corran knew nothing good could come after those words. Mirax had slipped them in nonchalantly just as she stepped out the door of their apartment. Corran had spent most of the day on edge, wondering what he’d done this time and, more importantly, what he could do to smooth things over quickly. Now he sat in the living room, waiting for Mirax to get home.

Mara, of course, had never used those words. If there was one thing Mara liked to avoid, it was talking about their relationship. Stop, Corran mentally chastised himself. You haven’t been with Mara for well over a year. She might not have liked to talk about the relationship, but she made it very clear where you stand. Quit thinking about her!

Corran took a deep breath and refocused his mind on Mirax. We need to talk. It wasn’t the first time Mirax had said those words to him, but he’d never before had such a bad feeling about them.

Finally Corran heard Mirax at the door. It was over in a matter of minutes.

“You still love her.”

Then Mirax slipped the ring off her finger, an action for which Corran had surprisingly little regret.


Here we stand
We can't move on, we can’t stay here

Will we bend--
Maybe we’ve just had enough

It was quiet on Yavin 4 this early in the morning. Mist hung in the air and Corran could smell a rainstorm coming.

It had been seven years since Luke first introduced Corran to Mara and they were finally both at the Jedi academy. Somehow Corran rather doubted this is what Luke had in mind when he’d invited them here all those years ago.

Corran hadn’t come here just to see Mara. But he was also neither surprised nor disappointed when he saw her.

Now they were both seated on the edge of a stone step three-quarters of the way up the Great Temple. The grayish-green of the forest was spread out below them, yet it was oddly quiet. Corran decided it must still be too early for the young Jedi to have started their studies. And the local fauna must have anticipated the coming rain and headed for cover.

Mara said nothing. Corran didn’t want to start the conversation, afraid of how it would end. He savored the peacefulness, not wanting to let go of the moment but knowing he had to.

He looked into her emerald eyes. He’d missed those eyes. He’d even missed the roiling sea of emotions behind them. A sea he was quickly drowning in.

“I should have known you’d be here,” Corran began.

“Why did you come?”

“Because . . . I was looking for something.”

“Me?”

“No. Maybe. I just . . . I need to explain.”

“Don’t bother. I get it. Whatever explanation you think you owe me, consider it received.” Mara stood up. “So long, Corran.”

“Wait,” he called to her. She looked back at him, her eyes flashing. He started to explain, but fearing she wouldn’t listen, or worse, she would hear his every word and still walk away, he changed tactics. “Can’t we just be friends?” he pleaded, grasping for a life preserver, something, anything to keep him afloat.

“No, I don’t think we can,” Mara said flatly.

His heart, twice-shattered, couldn’t take any more. “Fine then. I’ll go.” He started to storm off. Desperately hoping she would stop him. His step slowed for an instant as she opened her mouth.

Wordlessly, she clamped her jaw shut. His pace quickened. The next thing he knew he was in the cockpit of his x-wing, driving hard for hyperspace.


I don't wanna turn around
If you'll just walk away

I shouldn’t have come alone, the rather obvious thought flitted through Mara’s mind. I should have let Luke assign me a different partner.

Her mind never quite formed the words, but deep down Mara knew she’d refused to consider bringing anyone with her on this mission because no one could replace the partner she was supposed to have. The partner she had spurned for reasons that were laughably meaningless at this moment.

Mara was, for perhaps the first time in her life, outgunned. There were two of them—droidekas. One of them she might have been able to handle. But with one in front of her and one behind, she didn’t stand a chance.

As the first bolt struck her unprotected back, Mara wished he was there. Not so he could defend her. Not so she wouldn’t die alone. Instead, she wished he was there because there were so many things left to say to him. Somehow, though, they were all summed up in the four words she whispered as she fell to the ground.

“I love you, Corran.”


I don't wanna love you now
If you'll just leave some day

“It’s time to go.” Luke placed a hand on Corran’s shoulder.

Corran shook his head. “Not yet.” He clutched Mara’s slender hand in both of his as he knelt beside her. All but her face and hand were covered by white blankets. Corran was just as glad that he didn’t have to see her damaged body. She seemed peaceful, despite the bruises on her cheeks.

Luke tugged gently at Corran’s arm. He knew it wouldn’t do any good to stay, but he refused to budge. She would wake up. She had to. Their conversation at the Jedi Academy could not be their last. Their last moments together could not have been that ridiculous standoff, each trying to prove they were more stubborn than the other.

Corran brought Mara’s hand to his lips and delicately kissed her fingers. I never would have walked away, if I didn’t think you’d follow.

fin​

 

Well... I'm teary now. That last line... I would never have walked away if I didn?t think you?d follow. Man. I want to give Corran a hug.

I hadn't seen this fic before tonight- I REALLY like it. In just three parts, you've shown a total AU in amazing detail, and captured all sorts of emotions- passion, bitterness, brokenhearted despair- quite keenly.

And I love when authors play around with new pairings. Especially when it comes to Luke and Mara, we don't see much of them when they aren't with one another any more, and I like reading new things.

(oh, and I LOVE Aves trying to run interference )

Very nicely done.

 

I am very glad you finished it, I would have never had found it otherwise.

Very good, but so sad! I loved how you were able to tell a full story in a few short parts. Few can do that and make it make sense and make it so beautiful.

 

Wonderfully done!

 

How did I not know about this fic? I feel deprived.

First of all, love the pairing. Usually if you see Mara and Corran in a story together it's a friendship piece, but I really loved this. If he hadn't been married already when they met, I could definitely see their competitive relationship leading them to the bedroom

I also love that it didn't have a happy ending. Call me pessimistic, but I love a story that ends in tragedy and depression. Which is really odd considering that 99% of what I write is fluff

 

Oh, wow, that was a much better reception than I was expecting. Thanks everyone for commenting!

LexiLupin
I REALLY like it. In just three parts, you've shown a total AU in amazing detail, and captured all sorts of emotions- passion, bitterness, brokenhearted despair- quite keenly.
Thanks! But I owe a lot of that to Rob Thomas and his awesome lyrics.

Especially when it comes to Luke and Mara, we don't see much of them when they aren't with one another any more, and I like reading new things.
I'm glad I could come up with something different for you But Mara and Corran have always seemed a natural fit to me, so it's not hard for me to imagine a world where they are together.

oh, and I LOVE Aves trying to run interference
Aves can be sweet - when he wants to be. Thank you for your wonderful comments!


Briannakin
I loved how you were able to tell a full story in a few short parts. Few can do that and make it make sense and make it so beautiful.
Being able to leverage off the lyrics really helps with the that. Thanks so much for commenting! I really appreciate it!


Jedi_Lover
Thank you!


LoriLynn
How did I not know about this fic? I feel deprived.
I guess I posted this too earlier - I should have waited for you.

First of all, love the pairing. Usually if you see Mara and Corran in a story together it's a friendship piece, but I really loved this.
I like Mara and Corran as friends, but I like them even better as a couple.

If he hadn't been married already when they met, I could definitely see their competitive relationship leading them to the bedroom
Ha! I can definitely see that.

I also love that it didn't have a happy ending. Call me pessimistic, but I love a story that ends in tragedy and depression. Which is really odd considering that 99% of what I write is fluff
That's funny-that's pretty much the opposite of how I am. I prefer to read fluffy stories with happy endings but I usually end up writing stuff that's pretty dark. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!

 

that's certainly different
great 'fic

Mara can be dangerously stubborn
seems like both are not made for many words to each other ... otherwise they might have had a chance to talk it all out or with otherwords - stubborn till the sad end

well done!!

 

I don't know how I missed this when you first started posting!

I enjoy experiments with characters having different relationships other than the cannon ones, but Mara/Corran never even occurred to me for some reason but it really works and I like them together; they have an interesting dynamic.

I really enjoyed this, but that last line just about killed me! That's one of my biggest fears, that I'll say something terrible and then never get to see someone I love again.


Wonderful job and thanks for sharing!

 

Maggy
seems like both are not made for many words to each other ... otherwise they might have had a chance to talk it all out
Yeah, I think their timing is just off in this story. Mara's not quite ready to fully trust another person and poor Corran doesn't quite understand the depth of Mara's issues. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!


mavjade
Mara/Corran never even occurred to me for some reason but it really works and I like them together; they have an interesting dynamic
I really like them together (in case that wasn't obvious ), I've always thought they were a natural fit. I'm glad I could share them with you and I'm glad you liked the story! Thank you for your kind comments!


Author Note: I'm not sure if I should say this, but I have a sequel in mind where Mara survives and eventually makes a full recovery. It would be set to "All In" by Lifehouse. (You can tell from the song it is a much more upbeat and happy story.) I don't know if/when I'll get around to writing it, but I just thought I'd throw that out there in case anyone was curious (and because I feel bad about making people sad).