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Story We Have Engaged... The Porg

Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by RX_Sith , Sep 27, 2017.

  1. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 13, 2006
    Title: We Have Engaged.... The Porg
    Author: RX_Sith
    Genre: Drama/Comedy
    Characters: The Porg from The Last Jedi plus characters from Star Trek
    Timeframe: All of Star Trek
    Rating: PG-13
    Summary: The Porg from The Last Jedi have now crossed over into the Star Trek Universe
    A/N: This story was written as a suggestion of Lady_Misty from my other Porg story set in the GFFA.


    "What have you done Q?" Captain Jean-Luc Picard inquired of the irritable to him omnipotent being who had just flung the Starship Enterprise, NCC-1701-D, into the Porg Quadrant.

    "I've given you a taste of the future in all of its peril to you and your petty Federation," Q replied smugly, "It does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it. The Federation has now entered Porg space."

    "Who are the Porg?" Picard inquired with a serious look on his face.

    "Why, they are your worst nightmare realized," Q told him even more smugly than before, "They are cuteness personified to the most extreme smugness that you will ever imagine."

    Q immediately showed a picture of a Porg to Captain Picard on the Enterprise's viewscreen.

    "Turn it off!" Picard shouted, "They are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute that I cannot stand it. Turn it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    "Very well," Q snapped his fingers and the image disappeared, "See what I mean, Captain?"

    "Yes, they are so cute that it causes our emotions to overload with smugness multiplied by infinity and beyond," Picard stated truthfully, "Please tell me there is some way to defeat them."

    "No, no, no," Q scolded him, "You will get no help from me. Tsk...tsk.... you foolish humans."

    "Please," Picard begged him, "Otherwise, the Federation will be taken over by excessive cuteness."

    "Nope," Q told him, "You are on trial; a trial for humanity's interference within the galaxy. You are like a plague and the Porg are even more so. So now, I will take you back to your quadrant. But, realize this fact. The Porg will be coming. You had best prepare yourselves."

    With that, Q snapped his fingers again and the ship was instantly transported back to the Alpha Quadrant.

    "Remember, Captain," Q stated, "The Porg will be coming. Resistance to them is Futile!"


    To Be Continued...
    pronker and Mistress_Renata like this.
  2. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007
    Thank you for the tag and the pm!

    This will be so much fun!
  3. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 21, 2016
    *Is happy she isn't drinking anything*
  4. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Fun again with Picard and Q
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    Oh no. And I thought the other side of this was hilarious! This is more! [face_rofl] =D= Jean-Luc. :) [face_sigh] I'll be watching this one.
    RX_Sith likes this.
  6. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    My, God, they've crossed Universes!! THERE IS NO ESCAAAAAPE!!!! :_|
  7. Nehru_Amidala

    Nehru_Amidala Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Oct 3, 2016
    Another hilarious outing!
  8. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The NSWFF Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 29, 2004
    EDIT: From a mods' standpoint we are green to go on this now. :)

    And, as a reader, I wanted to tell you how spot on hilarious this is. The Porg really are unstoppable, it seems. :p [face_laugh][face_mischief]
  9. RX_Sith

    RX_Sith C&G Game Host star 5 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 13, 2006

    More funny stuff to follow. [face_laugh]

    @Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Spit take x2! [face_laugh]


    Yes, they are very funny in this together. [face_laugh]


    Yes, the Porg fit in quite naturally in the Star Trek universe. [face_laugh]


    Exactly! The Porg are Irresistible. [face_laugh]


    Funny as always. [face_laugh]


    Thanks for approving and reading. [face_laugh]


    As the Federation planned on ways to combat the Porg, the Enterprise was on patrol near the Romulan Neutral Zone. Of course, the Porg decided to invade near the Klingon Neutral Zone instead. The Enterprise was ordered at maximum warp towards the Klingon Neutral Zone.

    Lt. Commander Elizabeth Shelby was assigned to the Enterprise to help in assessing the strengths and weaknesses of the Porg and was giving a presentation on what to expect once the Enterprise had engaged the Porg in battle.

    "We will have to come up with new tactics to deal with this threat," Shelby was giving information to the senior staff members gathered around, "We might have to do things quite differently to combat their superior cuteness."

    "What do you suggest?" Lt. Commander Data questioned her, "I, of course am immune to this cuteness that you talk about since I have no emotions."

    "Yes!" Shelby exclaimed, "That could be the way that we combat them! By subduing our emotions! Doctor, can you process something for that cause?"

    "Klingons do not like Porgs!" Worf cut in before Doctor Crusher could respond, "They are quite repulsive."

    "But, you don't feel any other emotions besides repulsiveness," Shelby wondered, "Do you?"

    "No, Klingons are quite serious about things, especially honor and glory towards the Klingon Empire," Worf boasted, "We find this human emotion of cuteness rather repulsive as well."

    "So, that means that at least Data and Worf are immune to the Porg's cuteness, then?" Shelby mused, "That could be to our advantage. So, Doctor, do you think you can help the rest of us combat this Porg cuteness?"

    "I will try," Beverly responded, "To come up with something. If nothing else, a few drinks of hard liquor could at least tone down our response to their cuteness."

    "Yes, that may be true," Shelby presumed, "But, I don't think Starfleet would approve of being drunk to combat the Porg threat."

    "It may be our only option," Dr. Crusher stated truthfully, "But, I will try to come up with something else."

    "Captain to the Bridge," Commander Riker chirped in on his communicator, "A Porg vessel is approaching us."

    Everyone scrambled to the Bridge practically running over each other on their way towards their battle stations as the Red Alert sound blared around the ship. Captain Picard entered onto the Bridge and sat in the middle seat with Commander Riker and Counselor Troi besides him on opposite sides.

    "On screen," Jean-Luc ordered.

    "Yes, sir," Data popped up the picture of the Porg Cube in slowing in front of the Enterprise. Scanning occurred from both ships as they tried to ascertain what was going to happen next.

    Suddenly some Porg materialized onto the Bridge. Worf immediately fired his phaser at the creatures as they fell lifeless to the ground one by one, but suddenly a force field appeared around them and his phaser was now useless.

    "They have adapted to our weapons," Worf angrily remarked, "Our weapons are now useless against them."

    Suddenly, a few Porg approached Captain Picard and then stunned him and they disappeared with him from the Bridge.

    "They have taken the Captain," Worf bemoaned with grief, "What are we going to do now?"

    "I guess we will have to go aboard the Porg Cube and get him back," Commander Riker ordered, "Shelby, Worf, Data and Crusher to the transporter room."

    The away team gathered went to the transporter room and beamed aboard the Porg Cube. They saw many Porgs in their stasis chambers.

    "They seem to be aware of us, but preoccupied with something else," Crusher stated as she broke out her tricorder and started to scan for Picard's life signature, "This way."

    They searched the vessel and came to an area where all that remained was Jean-Luc's shirt and communicator, but nothing else.

    "Where did he go?" Crusher wondered, "What have they done to him?"

    Suddenly, the Porg started to wake up and wander towards them. In the distance, they saw Jean-Luc Picard, but he had been altered to look similar to the Porg. He had two wings instead of his arms, and a huge beak upon his nose.

    "Look!" Worf exclaimed, "It's the Captain!"

    "He's been altered somehow," Crusher noticed the change in his appearance, "He is no longer the Jean-Luc that we know of."

    The Porg were getting closer and closer to the away team. Soon, they would have no escape from the fowl beasts.

    "Shelby to Enterprise," she contacted the ship, "We need emergency beam out right away!"

    The Enterprise engaged their transporter energizers and the away team was beam back aboard the Enterprise. The away team then went to the Bridge.

    "They have altered Jean-Luc," Beverly stated matter-of-factly, "He has been altered to resemble a Porg!"

    "He is a Porg!" Worf angrily remarked, "We have failed!"

    "The Porg are trying to contact us," Data stated to Riker.

    "On screen, "Commander Riker ordered as the altered image of Picard appeared onscreen.

    "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Riker yelled as the image of Picard being so cute invaded his consciousness, "He's sooooooooooo cute nowwwww!

    "I am Porgutus of Porg," the altered image stated, "You and the rest of the Federation will also be changed into a Porg. Irresistance is Futile!"

    "Mr. Worf," Riker ordered before losing his sanity, "Fire!"


    To Be Continued...
    pronker likes this.
  10. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] Very nice blend of ominousness and cuteness. 8-} =D=
    RX_Sith likes this.
  11. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 21, 2007

    Oh boy, loos like they're in some serious trouble.
    RX_Sith likes this.
  12. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Fun with the new (B)Porg