Before - Legends What She Saw: "No way... Shiny awards for ME?!"

Oh, I love this OC. Very clear personality, the sort of mild grubbiness you get from living on Coruscant but basically a good person - and great job on fleshing out her background, what with the idea of a warring homeworld, the six kids and the endless stream of can-I-buy-a-vowel jokes. Fantastic.

Sweet Goddess, what a height? what an awful way to go? But you don?t suppose he really?[/i

And a heartbreaking ending. I think I'm going to cry.

Beautiful, and sad, and very well done.

Nem

 

Congratulations!


Well, that reminded me of the war, Officer, and I thought how nervous I still am, and I thought how scared my kids still are. You know I took them to see a holofilm once, like a little treat for them, just a normal flick for younglings, and there was this part where the bad guy sets the good guy?s house on fire. And all the sudden my kids were crying and I was kind of like shaking and I was crying and I herded them on out of the theatre and we were a mess for the rest of the night, just a complete mess.

Oh my, this just really got to me. How realistic and sad--she's been through so much and now Xan is coming into her bar and threatening people. I liked how you had her thinking of her children and praying, and the 1000 credits Xan paid her to keep her mouth shut.

I really enjoyed reading this--it was brilliant.

 

That was great!!! I really enjoyed it!!

Poor Obi-Wan!

Congratulations on your win for this--it was well deserved.

 

Congrats! And yeah Xan! You nailed his delicious evilness perfectly.

 

Congrats! Really liked your OC and the POV. Xan was great too. I didn't expect the sad ending, but you made it make sense.

 

Congrats on the win padawan! Really, you sure you need me? I'll have to think up some sort of reward...

 

Haha, I get back online and discover that I've won 2nd place! Sweet!

Thank you judges...

And thanks all for your lovely comments!

Nem: Ah, I'm glad you liked Mörilh. I've gotten very attached to her as well! And "mild grubbiness" is a great description of her.

Anakins_Force: Congratulations! Thanks!

she's been through so much and now Xan is coming into her bar and threatening people Yes, I tried to make it clear that being in mortal danger is something like business as usual for this character. Even as hard as she worked to get her family to Coruscant, she finds that chaos and inhumanity don't exist only on her home planet. I was thinking of the immigrants that come to Europe and find themselves working menial jobs in bad neighborhoods.

Jedikma: Thank you! And yes, poor Obi.

obi_ew: Ha, I'm glad you liked Xan. I haven't read anything with him in it for a long time, so I was hoping I didn't do a complete hack job of him! I remembered him as a swooshy-black-cape kind of fellow.

Lovely-in-Orange: Thanks! I'm glad the ending made sense to you.

Master: Reward? YAY!

Once again, thank you all!

 

Wow, what an amazing story. Horribly angsty indeed! The OC is wonderful, and I loved how she's always thinking of her younglings. Poor things. They've obviously suffered enough.

Very creepy, very original story. But so sad! again.

 

His eyes flick over towards the door. Jedi, you know, they?re uncanny like that, and sure enough the door swings open.

I really liked that line, it really flowed well with the story, and it was funny, but not too funny. It gave just the little break we needed, but didn't detract from the angstiness. It also added to the character, it shows that she doesn't have all the education to know that a Jedi always knows, but showed that she has enough street smarts to notice such a thing.

Sweet Goddess, what a height? what an awful way to go?

Wow, that's a really sad ending, but just the perfect ending for the story. I love how you never actually say, "Poor Obi was so darn depressed he threw himself from his bedroom window." yet it's obvious that he did indeed commit suicide.

Bravo! What an amazing story. I gonna show this to all my friends.

 

may: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I'm sorry it made you so sad... maybe writing some more mush for The Unchosen will make you feel better

PadawanKaterina: Thanks for noticing the slightly humorous touches. That's basically my view of life... it sucks sometimes, but it's still funny. And I did want to treat poor Obi's death in a sensitive fashion! I'd certainly be honored if you shared this story with people, thank you very much.

 

I absolutely loved this. Not just the tone of voice, but how you brought it across so well. The little pauses, inflections, dialect. Not enough I can say about it!

And then of course, the end, the death without the explicit details. Perfect. I really hope you've got more like this in the works!

 

Thanks, JadeSolo! I'm swamped by my lovely, prickly RL right now, so I don't have much of anything in the works. But we'll see. And as I've mentioned before: Who needs explicit details when you've got such a wonderfully imaginative audience!

 

Thanks to whoever nominated this story!

It surprised the living heck out of me.

And really made my day.

... but now I'm going to have to think about actually writing more, aren't I?

 

Padawan sis, I just got around to reading this, and I can say it definitely deserved everything it won. Good work, and I'm a dork for not getting to reading this whole thing sooner.

Again, many congrats!

 

Well kids, I was completely out of the loop during the Winter Awards... so you can imagine how surprised I was to see that I'd won some!!

Thanks so much to everyone who voted this story for Best Response To A Challenge, and *especially* to those who voted Mörilh for Best Female OC!!

I'm very honored.

And thanks for the nice response padawan sis!

 

Wow! What a wonderful (and sad) story! Thanks to whomever unearthed this for our entertainment.

 

Well V_S, I actually dug it up myself to give thanks for the awards that I didn't know I'd gotten. Silly huh Anyway, thank you for the review.