JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

Did you hear about the criminal bird?

He was robin the bank.

 

How do you spell a fish that can't see?
Fsh...because it has no i's.

 

My mother told me that I could be anyone I wanted. Turns out, identity theft is a crime

 

Ariel was a bad student, always making Ds and Fs, because her grades were under the C.

 

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar and the bartender says “what is this, a joke?”

 

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?' The priest replies 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and contempt for your fellow man' 'Well I'll be darned' the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper.

The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised. 'I'm sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

 

An architect, artist, and engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with their wives or mistresses. The architect said, "I like spending time with my wife building a firm foundation of a marriage." The artist said, "I enjoy the time I spend with my mistress because of all the passion and energy." The engineer said "I enjoy both. If you have a wife and a mistress, both women think you are with the other so you can go to work and get more done."

 

Which sharks do you find in heaven?
Angel sharks

 

An Irish aviator was getting worried being overdue, and not being able to find the air base in rapidly deteriorating weather.
"Lord," he prayed, "I can't stand this .If you direct me to the nearest air base, I swear I'll give up drinking me whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday."
Suddenly, the clouds broke, and the sun shone brightly on a large air base below. Without hesitation, the aviator said, "Never mind, I found one."

 

People who fall into a river in France tend to be in Seine.

 

A pastor was giving a sermon on vestments to children at a children's Mass. He asked, "Do you know why I wear this collar?"
A kid raised his hand and said, "Because it protects from ticks and fleas for 30 days?"

 

What's the difference between Boba Fett and Marty McFly?

One is a Mandalorean, and the other is a man in a De Lorean.

 

Ben is short for Obi-Wan
Threepio is short for C3PO
Chewie is short for Chewbacca
Luke...is short for a stormtrooper

 

I was up North at the cabin a few weeks ago with my dad and my uncle and my cousin. We got pretty severely snowed in thanks to a freak storm but we had plenty of firewood and supplies so we were ok. What was weird was that somebody knocked on our door at around midnight. I answered the door and it was a guy who needed a push. He apologized for his late intrusion but just desperately needed a push and our cabin was the only thing even close to resembling civilization for miles. We agreed to help him and got on our winter gear and headed outside. There was no sign of him all of a sudden. My uncle yelled "Hello sir, where are you?" Then we heard him answer "Over here, on the swing!"

 

Werewolf?

There wolf.

 

When a werewolf is bitten by Chuck Norris, it becomes a Chuck Norris