JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.

 

Blood oranges would also have been acceptable.

 

Why did the sandworm cross the Dune?
To get to the other side.

 

Seven days without exercise makes one weak.

 

My dogs are named Timex and Rolex.
They are watch dogs.

 

Watch for children.
Best trade I ever made.

 

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they fall asleep in their tent. Some hours later, Holmes awakes and nudges his faithful friend.

Holmes: Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.
Watson: I see millions of stars.
Holmes: What does that tell you?
Watson: Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Holmes: What else?
Watson: Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Holmes: What else?
Watson: Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Holmes: What else?
Watson: Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Holmes: What else?
Watson: Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Holmes: What else?
Watson: I don't know! What does it tell you, Holmes?
Holmes: Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!

 

What kind of jokes do taste buds laugh at?

Umami jokes.

 

Why couldn't Smaug lift his tail?

Because it was dragon on the ground.

 

What do you do with an elephant that has 3 balls?

You walk him and pitch to the rhino.

 

A man moves from Scotland to the US and attends his first baseball game. After a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run! Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-r-un, yah bloody bahstard. R-r-run!"

A third batter cracks a hard liner and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams, "RRRun, yah bloody bahstard, rrrrun, why don't ya???"

The next batter holds his swing at three and two and as the umpire calls,"Take your base." The Scotsman stands up, yelling, "RRRun, ya bahstard, rrrun!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly so he sits down, very much confused.

A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."

The Scotsman stands up in disbelief and shouts, "Wahlk with prrrride, man!"

 

Why do the king's soldiers use torches?

So they can have knight lights.