JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

 

Amazon. They bring people into space but the 3rd floor is still not possible.

 

Ordering Chinese food takeout: $12
Tip: $3
Getting home and discovering they left out part of your order: Riceless

 

I'll tell you my hilarious neutrino joke yesterday.

 

Mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.

 

What did the doctor say to the mountain?
You're looking a little peaky.

 

A woman goes up to an employee at a garden shop.“How much for this goth cucumber?” she asks.
“Ma’am, that’s a cactus.”

 

Florida condom collapse!

 

What weighs more: a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

Water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

 

I saw a girl with 12 breasts. That sounds strange, dozen tit?

 

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy and the other is a little lighter.

 

A communist comes home and his wife surprises him with a steak after a long time.
He: "Wow, can I have two?"
She: "Sure, give me your knife, I'll cut it in half"

 

Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings!

 

After reading the Hobbit, I noticed there was an object in The Lord of the Rings that was very similar in the Hobbit. It had a familiar ring to it.

 

If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive, they would quickly find me attractive.

 

A man who has a lot of pennies has plenty of common cents.

 

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a ‘living will’.
“Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle,” the husband said.
His wife got up, unplugged the television and threw away all his beer.