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JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

Discussion in 'Community' started by squir1y, Jun 9, 2014.

  1. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    Why did the girl fall off the bike?
    Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

    Why did the refrigerator fall off the bike?
    Somebody threw a little girl at it.

    What has four wheels and flies?
    The town garbage truck.

    What's green and sits outside on the back porch?
    Paddy O'Furniture.

    Is your refrigerator running?
    It is? Then you'd better catch it before it gets away!

    What's green, weighs forty tons and lies at the bottom of the ocean?
    MOBY SNOT!
     
  2. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
     
  3. BigAl6ft6

    BigAl6ft6 Force Ghost star 7

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2012
    Two eggs are sitting in a frying pan. First egg turns to the other and goes "Man, it's hot in here." Second egg goes "Holy %$#@ It's a talking egg!"
     
  4. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Why did the monkey fall out the tree?

    It was dead.
     
    Anakin_SkywaIker likes this.
  5. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Why did the chicken fall out the tree?

    It was stapled to the monkey.
     
    Anakin_SkywaIker likes this.
  6. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick Game Host - SfC Part VI BOFF star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000
    The Wocky Awards
     
    Thuro likes this.
  7. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    What did the chemistry professor write down while he was playing Half-Life?

    NaCl
    ____
    NaOH ...the base is under a salt.




    In my defence for that horrible quip, there are only bad chemistry jokes left now because all the good ones Argon.
     
  8. DarthTunick

    DarthTunick Game Host - SfC Part VI BOFF star 10 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Nov 26, 2000
    This one I see from time-to-time via social media feeds:


    [​IMG].


    What a clever pun!!! Math puns are especially clever!
     
  9. JediYvette

    JediYvette Pacific RSA emeritus star 7 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2001
    Awww I wanted to post that one. :(
     
  10. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    So anyway, there's a guy who has a penis that's 25 inches long. This causes him some issues, and he goes to a doctor to ask if anything can be done about it.
    "Well, there's nothing medically I can do for you," says the doctor, "but here's the number for this witch who's had some success with these issues. Go talk to her."
    So the guy goes to the witch and she tells him, "Go out into the woods and find your way to a clear blue pool. There will be a frog there. Ask the frog to marry you, and you will find your problem reduced."
    So the guy goes into the woods and finds his way to the pool, and a tired, annoyed-looking frog. Feeling a bit foolish, the guy asks the frog: "Will you marry me?"
    "No," says the frog, annoyed. And the guy finds that, amazingly, his penis has been reduced in length by five inches!
    Thinking this is wonderful, he asks the frog again: "Will you marry me?"
    "No," says the frog, frowning. And again the guy has lost five inches off his penis! "Well," the guy thinks to himself, "I might just ask one more time, because it's okay to have a penis ten inches long." And he asks the frog: "Will you marry me?"
    The frog looks at him with an angry glare. "Didn't you hear what I just said? NO, NO, NO!"
     
  11. Obi-Zahn Kenobi

    Obi-Zahn Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 1999
    This one should be told to a gullible person as a current event:
    Did you guys hear about the kid who was throwing a rock over an interstate overpass? He tied a string around his arm, and then he tied a string around a rock and would throw it over the bridge in order to freak out cars. A semi truck ended up hitting the rock and the rock got caught in can after shattered the windshield. The kid was kind of intertwined on the bridge railing and the string was tough enough that it actually severed his arm and the semi dragged his armed as the driver came to a stop. The driver was arrested and charged.

    They'll say, "What?!"

    "They charged him with armed robbery."
     
  12. jp-30

    jp-30 Manager Emeritus star 10 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Dec 14, 2000
    You'll go back to lurking again soon, eh?
     
    Juliet316 and Zapdos like this.
  13. Sarge

    Sarge Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Oct 4, 1998
    What kind of cakes do policemen like?

    Cop cakes.
     
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  14. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Apr 3, 2002
    What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

    Pumpkin pi.
     
  15. Saintheart

    Saintheart Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2000
    What kind of doctors are always on-call?








    Oncologists.
     
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  16. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Apr 3, 2002
    Q: How man surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: Fish
     
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  17. VadersLaMent

    VadersLaMent Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Apr 3, 2002
    [​IMG]

    Boneless chicken
     
  18. poor yorick

    poor yorick Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Jun 25, 2002
    How do you think the unthinkable?

    With an itheberg.
     
  19. wall of sick

    wall of sick Jedi Padawan star 3

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2014
    why did the chicken?

    snood!
     
  20. A Chorus of Disapproval

    A Chorus of Disapproval TV Screaming Service / FFS! star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Aug 19, 2003
    2 antennae have been on the same roof for so long that they fall in love. The wedding was nothing special but the reception was great.

    *rimshot*
     
  21. Miana Kenobi

    Miana Kenobi Admin Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    Some "good" ones from the campers at work:


    How does a tree get on the internet?

    It logs in.


    What's the loudest part of a tree?

    It's bark.


    Why did the oyster go to the gym?

    To work on its mussels.
     
    Anakin_SkywaIker likes this.
  22. heels1785

    heels1785 Skywalker Saga/JCC Manager star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2003
    Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

    A: THERES NO STAR WARS ALLOWED ON THIS BOARD

    (jk, he felt his presents, of course)
     
    J_Girl, yankee8255 and Juliet316 like this.
  23. MarcusP2

    MarcusP2 Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 10, 2004
    Why did the koala fall out the tree?
    It was dead.

    Why did the second koala fall out the tree?
    The first koala hit it.

    Why did the third koala fall out the tree?
    He saw the other two and thought it was a game.
     
    Anakin_SkywaIker likes this.
  24. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    What is white and has a yellow scarf?

    Rupert the Fridge.
     
    halibut likes this.
  25. heels1785

    heels1785 Skywalker Saga/JCC Manager star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2003
    What do you call a Communist mine?

    Ours.