JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

Q: How many grammar nazis does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Too.

 

Why did Florida State ban cereal from its campus?

No bowls.

 

I remember the year 2018 like it was yesterday

 

I don't know what I'll do next year. I don't have 2020 vision.

 

What was Whitney Houston's favorite coordination?

HAAAND EEEEYEEEE

 

Did you hear the one about the rhetorical question?

 

Two cannibals dining on a clown. One cannibal asks the other: does this taste funny?

 

I was stood behind Adam Ant at an ice cream van yesterday. He ordered a standard vanilla.

 

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean

all go to a nightclub.

The doorman stops them and says, "sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai."

 

Q: What does a woman do with her ass in the morning?

A: She dresses him up and sends him to work

 

How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.

 

king crimson walk into a bar. from the bartender, a scream rips through the air: SULLEN MUSO-DORKS!!!

from elsewhere in the bar, four daggers are thrown, and each plunges firmly into the neck of a kc bandmember.

fripp, cross, and wetton go down like ragdolls.

bruford toughs it out like a burly man and survives and continues playing excellent drums for the rest of his long life.

 

What kind of cakes do policemen like?

Cop cakes.

 

How do you make a dog go "miaoooooow"?

Put it in your freezer for a couple of days then run it through a bandsaw.

 

I had an opportunity to make a really clever response to this but I totally Belew it.

 

fantastic

 

Jeff Bezos has announced on Twitter that his wife has left him. Presumably with a neighbour.

 

I used to be addicted to the Hokey-Cokey but I turned myself around.

 

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

 

I'm not addicted to brake fluid. I can stop anytime I want.

 

I tried quitting my addiction to Bruce Willis movies, but some habits Die Hard.

 

My Grandad fell ill so we rubbed him with grease and butter. He went downhill fast after that.