Discussion in 'Community' started by squir1y, Jun 9, 2014.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
You park your car in it, man.
Do you dig graves?
Yeah, they're alright.
Yo momma so ugly, she could press her face in some dough and make gorilla cookies.
What is a seal hunter's favorite drink?
Canadian Club on the rocks.
There are hundreds of tiny people dancing in my oven.
It's a microrave.
The real reason people don't like vampires is that they're a pain in the neck.
What's a ghost's favorite part of a train?
The IRS agent found that his job was very taxing.
I don't get it.
Ghosts go boo!
I first heard this on Sanford and Son.
How much do Cockneys pay for shampoo?
"what's your favourite position in bed?"
near the wall, so i can use my phone while it's charging.
What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?
You can unload the babies with a pitchfork.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
Nice vin reminds me of...
What's the difference between elephant afterbirth and sand?
You can't gargle sand
Dead baby jokes aren't dumb, they are HILarious.
My personal favorite: What present do you give to a dead baby?
A dead puppy
That's horrible. (unless you baste it just right)
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Obviously it's me you idiot. Let me in.
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One of them got assaulted.
A guy walks into a bar, and says "oww!".
Joffrey Lannister walks into a bar with a motorcycle helmet on his head because he feels the need to look cool. He tries hitting on a girl there, but he ultimately runs into a pole and falls down. The bartender goes "Are you daft, punk?"
A woman walks into a bar and immediately hears, "You're beautiful!" "I like your hair!" She asks the bartender, "Who said that?"
The bartender said: "The peanuts. They're complimentary."