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  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

Discussion in 'Community' started by squir1y, Jun 9, 2014.

  1. SithSense

    SithSense Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Nurse walks into a hospital room, and the patient, wearing an oxygen mask, looks at her and asks "Are my testicles black?"

    The nurse is flustered. "Excuse me?"

    "Are my testicles black?" he says again.

    The nurse blushes and figures that she might as well check and put the man's mind at ease....so she lifts up the bedsheet, lifts up his hospital gown, and takes a peek. "Everything looks fine, sir. There is no discoloration of any kind on your testicles."

    The man's face turns to shock and anger, "NO!" he says as he rips off the oxygen mask. "I was asking you if my test results were back!"
     
  2. DantheJedi

    DantheJedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2009
    Why is 288 a disgusting number?

    Because it is two gross.
     
  3. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Why were the other numbers afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
     
    Admiral Volshe and Juliet316 like this.
  4. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    I went to a zoo today, and it only had one animal - a dog.

    It was a shih tzu
     
    tom likes this.
  5. SateleNovelist11

    SateleNovelist11 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jan 10, 2015
    When someone says to me, "I'm hungry," I say, "I'm [my name]."
     
    VadersLaMent likes this.
  6. Spike_Spiegel

    Spike_Spiegel Former FF Administrator Former Saga Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2002
    What's yellow but turns red when you press a button?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    A chick in a blender.

    (I know, I know...)
     
    Admiral Volshe likes this.
  7. G-FETT

    G-FETT Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2001
    Heard this one today:



    A man is walking down a road where upon he meets God.

    God points and says to the man: "I want you to walk into that field"

    The man asks God: "What's a field" ?

    God tells the man: "It's that large open space over there"

    God then says to the man: "When you get across the field I want you to walk into a cave".

    The man asks God: "What's a cave" ?

    God tells the man: "It's a big hole within a rock face"

    God then says to the man: "Inside the cave you'll find a woman"

    The man asks God: "What's a woman" ?

    God tells the man: "A woman is different to a man. You'll see"

    God then says to the man: "Once you find the woman I want you to procreate"

    The man asks God: "What's procreate" ?

    God tells the man: "It's making babies".

    The man set's off but a few minutes later he returns.

    God sighs: "What now" ?

    The man asks God: "What's a headache" ?
     
    Ulicus , Admiral Volshe and Sarge like this.
  8. Sith_Sensei__Prime

    Sith_Sensei__Prime Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    May 22, 2000
    A horse walks into a bar.

    The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
     
  9. Spike_Spiegel

    Spike_Spiegel Former FF Administrator Former Saga Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 12, 2002
    What's blue and sticks to walls?



    A mosquito in denim.
     
  10. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Two lawyers walk into a bar, but the third one ducks.
     
    VadersLaMent likes this.
  11. Master_Lok

    Master_Lok 6X Wacky Wednesday Winner star 6 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Dec 18, 2012
    What's invisible and smells like carrots?


    #
    #
    #


    Bunny farts.
     
    VadersLaMent likes this.
  12. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    'My friend keeps telling me I'm in the closet . . . I just say it's Narnia business!'

    Will Ferrell
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

    'What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.'

    Shappi Khorsandi

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------​

    “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

    Nick Helm
     
  13. Diggy

    Diggy Force Ghost star 8

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2013
    If you don't know what introspection means, you need to take a long hard look at yourself.
     
  14. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
     
  15. Darth Punk

    Darth Punk JCC Manager star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Nov 25, 2013
    I've deleted all the Germans on my phone

    It's now Hans free
     
  16. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    What did Delaware? She wore a New Jersey.
     
    TrakNar likes this.
  17. TheSilentInfluence

    TheSilentInfluence Silent and Friendly Mod of SWTV and SWC star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2014
    There were two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says,

    "How do you drive this thing?"
     
  18. The Sith Camp

    The Sith Camp Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 10, 2015
    Well guys ... what about:

    1.) Why is it bad to combine Polar Bears with Drugs? Answer you will get a Bi-Polar PSY-CHOPATH who will easily 'Crack' on the 'Ice!'

    2.) A Palaeontologist wants to watch a documentary called Precambrian Fossils and he switches on the TV but he gets a nasty surprise; he desperately tries to change the channel but ends up getting the same surprise; in a worked rage he smashes up the TV. Why and What was the nasty surprise? Answer: Each time he changed the channel - he got REX-ROLLED! Imagine a Rexy roaring from Jurassic Park BUT with Give You Up - so imagine a Rexy Roaring but the Rexy is really trying to ROAR Give You Up - replace GIVE YOU UP with R-R-R-R-ROAR-ROAR-ROAR!
     
  19. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    I once did a theatrical performance on puns.

    Really, it was just a play on words.
     
  20. slightly_unhinged

    slightly_unhinged Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2014
    Guy walks into a zoo.





    There's only one animal.






    A dog.






    It's a ****zu.

    Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
     
  21. JediTerminator

    JediTerminator Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 23, 2004
    What is it called the act of handing your tray back to the waiter?



    Betrayal.
     
    TrakNar likes this.
  22. slightly_unhinged

    slightly_unhinged Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2014
    Two goldfish in a tank.

    One turns to the other and says

    "How the **** do we drive this thing?"

    Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
     
    TrakNar likes this.
  23. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    I had a joke about vampires, but it bit.
     
    PCCViking likes this.
  24. PCCViking

    PCCViking Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Jun 12, 2014
    Vampires tend to be a pain in the neck.
     
    TrakNar likes this.
  25. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender asks, "what's that for?"

    "Arrrr, it drives me nuts!"
     
    JediTerminator and PCCViking like this.