Saga When It Rains, It Pours -- Diary of Jaxx Orneill -- 2010 Challenge Entry -- AU ~~Updated 1/10~~

Title: When It Rains, It Pours
Author: Jinngerbread
Characters: Jaxx Orneill, Sian Ny with permission from VaderLVR64, and many other OC's.
Summary: An ambush leaves one Jedi's life forever changed.
Author Notes: Yes I am posting in Saga. I have made it my goal this year to step out of my comfort zone and post in some places that I've not played in much. It has been literally years since I stepped out of Before and into the Saga playground. I've got several entries already written and I plan to post weekly.


Entry One

The Healers insist that I keep a journal for my feelings. They say that it helps to get things out and write them down in a datapad or on flimsiplast. Well how's this for my feelings?

Sith kriffin hells.

Yes I am cursing, you would be too if you were in my position. The Healers just told me my legs would never regain their function. I was too permanently damaged for them to be able to fix it. Great, just great.

And sithspit my padawan is still missing.

I was hoping for clearance soon so that I can rejoin the search, but it looks like that's not going to come for a while if ever. Yes I'm a bit bitter, my padawan is missing and I can't do anything about it. I want to go kick something but it seems I'll never be able to have that outlet again. So the Healers are telling me I should write instead and release my anger on the pages instead of the way I used to be able to.

Writing down things just isn't as satisfying, I think.

Sithspit.

See? It doesn't hold the same weight. Granted we're supposed to be able to control our anger but I challenge anybody on the Council to be put in this same situation and see how well they handle it. I bet a lot of those Perfect Jedi wouldn't be so perfect.

I'm not doing so well at controlling my anger and frustration at the moment. Gods, I just worry about Aria. My padawan is so young to be going through this. She's only thirteen, she's not an adult and she was only apprenticed a few years ago when she was eleven.

And now I've failed her.

How am I going to continue her training in a hoverchair the rest of my life? I won't be able to spar with her again, or teach her a new lightsaber maneuver. Sithspawn, that's assuming she ends up being found and not?.

I can't think about the other option, I just can't. Aria has to be alive. She's strong and has a lot of spirit and she'll be fine and come through this much better than I have.

I hate this.

I hate sitting on my bum when Aria's out there missing. It just shouldn't be done. I should've been there to protect her, yet somehow I ended up getting found and she didn't. Maybe I do need this writing therapy that the Healers have told me I should do.

But I can't let them in on that.

I'd never hear the end of it.

 

You know I want to be on the PM list for this one!

 

This is so sad so far!! But I'm very interested - please add me to the PM list!

 

There's always an appropriate time to be angry. This seems to be one of them, so even though he's a Jedi, he shouldn't feel too bad about it.

Please add me to the PM list! I'll try to do a better job at replying than I did on Drex's diary. No promises, though.

Great start!

 

VaderLVR64 You've been added! Thanks for reading!

NYCitygurl You've been added and I'm glad you're interested. Thanks for reading!

Jaidyn_Knightfall You've been added! You did a pretty decent job replying to Drex's, even if you weren't every week, at least you were once a month? I agree, there IS a time and place for anger and now would be a good time for it. The Jedi philosophy of 'there is no emotion' is a bunch of bull and Jaxx says was invented to purposefully frustrate people. Thanks for reading!

PM List
VaderLVR64
NYCitygurl
Jaidyn_Knightfall

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[b]Entry Two [/b]

Kriff, if one more person tells me not to worry and that the search is proceeding in their capable hands, I'm going to break something. I'm supposed to be resting and healing from my injuries, while the search for Aria is going on. But blast if I want to sit here and not ask about how things are going and I want more information than that.

Sithspawn, is it really too much to ask to get regular reports?

The only person who seems even slightly sympathetic is Drex Rixar, and he's the head of the search team. He understands the frustration when you're stuck at the Temple and can't do anything but heal. His padawan has been missing like mine before, so he understands more than the rest of them evidently.

Force, but I hate this.

I would give anything to be out there right now looking for Aria. Anything.

Sitting here doing nothing feels like I'm useless. Which I guess I am really, since I still have a good bit of healing to do. It's hard to really feel anything except useless and frustrated. I NEED to be out there looking, surely there's something on this search I can do to help but Rixar says he's got things under control and that the best thing I can do to help my padawan right now is to get over my injuries.

The one really bad thing about not being able to use my legs again means it definitely makes it harder to escape from the Healers Wing like I would've tried if I'd had them available. A hoverchair going out the door is a lot harder to sneak out without being seen.

Today marks a week since Aria went missing.

That's not very long, I know, but I still don't like the fact that she's out there and I?m not with her. Who knows what she's enduring. Those sithin' pirates that took her....if what they did to me was any indication, I can't think about what she might be going through. Gods, I hope she's all right.

If she doesn't come home, I'll never forgive myself.

Ever.

And looks like I have to stop writing for now, Healer Alvatar says its "bone knitter time." I swear the man is crazy. Bone Knitter Time, which sounds like some horrible, mixed up reality holovid show. Maybe being a critical care team Healer has made him lose his mind. Course, seeing what they deal with around here, that's not exactly surprising.

He's given me to the count of five to stop writing before he shuts it off for me, so I guess I'll quit here for now.

~*~

 

The only person who seems even slightly sympathetic is Drex Rixar, and he's the head of the search team. He understands the frustration when you're stuck at the Temple and can't do anything but heal.

I had to laugh at this. Yes, Drex certainly knows what it's like to be stuck in the healer's center for extended periods of time!

Ohh, I hope Aria is still alive! With Drex leading the search team, if she's still out there, he'll find her!

Great update! Waiting (im)patiently for the next one!

 

Nice to see Drex get a mention (I need to read more Drex stories ). Poor Jaxx - I can see why he'd be worried about Aria

Great post! I really like this story so far

 

The only person who seems even slightly sympathetic is Drex Rixar, and he's the head of the search team. He understands the frustration when you're stuck at the Temple and can't do anything but heal. His padawan has been missing like mine before, so he understands more than the rest of them evidently.


Yes, I guess he does understand a bit more than the rest!