Beyond - Legends Will the Real Luke Skywalker Please Stand Up? (Luke, OC)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by kayladie97, Apr 9, 2005.

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  1. kayladie97

    kayladie97 Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 6, 2003
    Author: kayladie

    Title: Will the Real Luke Skywalker Please Stand Up?

    Genre: Humor

    Timeframe: Sometime post VOTF, but pre-NJO

    Summary: Someone decides to use the name of the galaxy's most famous Jedi to...pick up chicks.

    Notes: This is the result of a challenge over at SSB, where we had to write a story where Luke interacted with a 'regular joe' in the GFFA. No space battles, no Sith, no kidnapping plots. Only this regular joe is impersonating the Jedi Master so that he can hit on women. What happens when Luke finds out about this? Well, he takes the opportunity to get a little payback for all the weird questions he's gotten from people over the years...

    Edit: Blast, I just realized I forgot the Disclaimer again! Okay, I don't own it, (blah blah blah) not making any money (blah blah blah...). *sigh* TF.Net should think about making this automatically pop up on any post in fanfic, just for us forgetful old people, y'know. :p


    ?Allow me to introduce myself. I?m Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master.?

    Rolf Parvill smiled at the beautiful young woman who was stretching in the Imperial Palace gym by extending one leg straight up over her head against the wall. Flexibility like that would be incredible if used in?other ways. The woman turned her head to give him a startled look. He widened his smile in what he hoped was a serene, Jedi-like manner.

    Rolf had been using this ?Luke Skywalker? bit for several months now. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn?t, but he had a good feeling about this young lady. There was a definite gleam of interest behind the surprised look in her eyes.

    She lowered her leg and turned to face him. ?You are? Really??

    Gotcha! he thought to himself exultantly. ?Yes, and I couldn?t help but notice you from across the room as I was doing my Jedi meditation. In fact, your beauty so distracted me that I had to give up on that for the day.?

    She blushed prettily and smiled shyly at him from beneath lowered lashes. ?Wow, I?m so flattered.?

    Rolf had seen a few holos of the real Luke Skywalker, and he thought there actually was a passing resemblance between the two of them. Well, they both had blond hair anyway. Fortunately, the real Jedi wasn?t very fond of holocams and so didn?t have his image plastered all over Coruscant. Not like the time Rolf had tried to pretend to be Face Loran, the holofilm star?boy, had that been a disaster! Nope, the reclusive Jedi Master was a much better option.

    ?What is it like to be a Jedi? It must be SO exciting,? the woman simpered.

    ?Well, it?s not all glamour, of course. There?s danger involved as well. For instance, on my last mission?? he launched into the plot of an action/adventure fiction datapad he?d read recently, and tried not to gloat as the beautiful redhead seemed to hang on his every word.

    The sound of someone clearing their voice came from behind him. Rolf turned to see a man about half-a-head shorter than him looking at the two of them with a confused expression.

    The redhead smiled at Rolf and then looked at the intruder. ?Hello! You?re late, but you?ll never guess who I?ve been talking to here,? she said.

    Oh, damn, she knew this guy. Hopefully, it wasn?t her boyfriend or anything. Not that Rolf thought he?d have any trouble taking the man if it came to that. The fellow really was only a little bigger than this lovely piece of womanhood he was talking to, and whom he was hoping to get to know a LOT better.

    The man eyed Rolf a bit warily and asked, ?Who??

    ?This is Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master,? she said, and Rolf found it a bit odd that she emphasized his name so strangely.

    The man?s eyes darted to his in shock and ?Luke? smiled at him benignly. Probably a Jedi-wannabe himself, Rolf thought. The newcomer glanced back at the woman and a very weird gleam entered his eyes. Rolf wondered what that was all about, but mostly he wondered how he
  2. Jedi_BMK

    Jedi_BMK Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 10, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] That was hilarious. I just couldn't stop laughing. Maybe next time that guy will know better than to attempt that trick. Nice job by Luke in showing that guy up.
  3. Mirax_Corran

    Mirax_Corran Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 25, 2005
    That is HILARIOUS! I really liked it. The fake-Luke hitting on Mara...

    Loved it,
  4. Killik_Twilight

    Killik_Twilight Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 6, 2005
    I love this 'fic! It's downright hilarious! *begs for another funny 'fic like this*
  5. EmilieDarklighter

    EmilieDarklighter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    Bloody brilliant, KK! I loved it!
  6. djcati

    djcati Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 20, 2004
    Hahaha, I loved this. So much. XD

    Oh man, just...brilliant. There aren't really words...


  7. kristeh

    kristeh Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 24, 2003
    Absolutely hilarious! [face_laugh]

  8. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    LMAO! [face_laugh] I love all the questions! Poor Luke! I bet he would get those kinds of questions! [face_laugh] Absolutely brilliant! :D :D :D This one is for rereading. [face_dancing] 8-} And I just wanted to add, I love the 4 pieces/7 pieces bit. :D I remember something like that from the ESB novelization. :p :D
  9. Lola64

    Lola64 Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 10, 2005
    Too funny.

    ?You also might want to be certain that the female you?re trying to pick up is not Luke Skywalker?s wife,? she said in a falsely sweet tone.

    So true So true. You should have sticked to blondes Rolf.
  10. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

  11. Ace_Venom

    Ace_Venom Jedi Youngling star 3

    Sep 22, 2002
    That was very amusing stuff.
  12. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 26, 2002

    kayladie, that was hilarious! [face_laugh]

    I loved the questions Luke would be just like the Farmboy to have enough of a sense of humor to make fun of himself like that. And then to have Mara throw it up in his face that his lightsaber work wasn't what it used to be! :p

    Great job!
  13. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Apr 20, 2000
    that was hilarious. The guy has the nerve to pretend to be Luke and then try to get his autograph. [face_laugh]
  14. Shadowen

    Shadowen Jedi Youngling star 3

    May 11, 1999

    Bad luck.

  15. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus star 5 VIP

    Nov 9, 2002
    LMAO!!! That is beautiful! Absolutely fantastic! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] This is definitely one of my favorites now. :D Mara's portrayal is masterful, especially toward the beginning. Mara, shyly lowering her lashes and simpering? Beautiful! [face_laugh] I didn't guess it was Mara until you mentioned her red hair. :D And Luke's interrogation is just fabulous, and I love Mara snickering in the background. :D

    The redhead smiled at Rolf and then looked at the intruder. ?Hello! You?re late, but you?ll never guess who I?ve been talking to here,? she said.

    I can just see it! [face_laugh]

    Sweat broke out on Rolf?s forehead as the man ignited his own - his real - lightsaber, producing a shimmering emerald blade that hummed with life and energy. The man jumped backwards and twisted in mid-air, the lightsaber flashing so quickly that it became a blur of green light. Landing lightly back on his feet, the man had de-activated the lightsaber even before the first of the four pieces he?d sliced the fake saber into fell to the floor.

    ??I thought that meant that I was a Jedi.?

    ?Huh, you used to get seven pieces out of that,? the redhead commented sarcastically.

    *dies* [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Beautiful, utterly beautiful. *wipes away tears of laughter* The whole setup, the incredible feat Luke pulls off, and Mara is so wonderfully unimpressed. Perfect. [face_laugh]

    ?Well, Rolf Parvill, in the future, when you decide to impersonate Luke Skywalker-? the man began, but the redhead interrupted him.

    ?You might want to be certain that the REAL Luke Skywalker isn?t standing behind you!?

    The real Luke Skywalker glared at the redhead again. ?Always have to steal my thunder, don?t you, Mara??

    ?You said yourself you weren?t as fast as you used to be,? she chuckled. She turned her attention back to Rolf and stepped up to him, patting him on the cheek just a little harder than he thought was necessary. ?You also might want to be certain that the female you?re trying to pick up is not Luke Skywalker?s wife,? she said in a falsely sweet tone.

    You've got them both down perfectly. :D Marvelous from beginning to end. :D

  16. academygrad88

    academygrad88 Jedi Master star 5

    Apr 6, 2004
    Wonderful story, Kayladie97! It is much better than my entry to that writing challenge. :p [face_laugh]


  17. Jedi-2B

    Jedi-2B Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 2, 2000
    This was hilarious, Kathy! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I figured it was Mara, even before you said she was a redhead, but I loved how you had Luke play along. I can see him getting frustrated with getting asked those kinds of questions all the time, and loved how he got some payback. And Mara's comeback about how he used to be able to do 7 pieces was perfect!

    This definitely makes up for the long breaks between SoH chapters. ;)
  18. rhonderoo

    rhonderoo Former Head Admin star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Aug 7, 2002
    This was hilarious! [face_laugh] Luke was getting real intense with those questions there. I could just see the dangerous gleam coming into his eyes. :eek:
  19. NenYim

    NenYim Jedi Youngling star 3

    Nov 6, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Great job!
  20. StarFighter5

    StarFighter5 Jedi Master star 4

    Jul 25, 2003
    That was great!
  21. Smuggler_Shidakis

    Smuggler_Shidakis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 26, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Absolutely hysterical!

  22. Neo-Paladin

    Neo-Paladin Jedi Master star 4

    Dec 10, 2004
    You had me grinning from the first line.

  23. Ackyuna

    Ackyuna Jedi Youngling star 2

    Oct 30, 2004
    XD XD XD

  24. Jedi Trace

    Jedi Trace SouthEast RSA star 6 Staff Member Manager

    Dec 15, 1999
    That was brilliant, kayladie!! =D= It's been a long time since I read something that original and just. plain. funny!

    Loved how Mara took it all in stride: She lowered her leg and turned to face him. ?You are? Really??

    And then Luke: ? What kind of woman would have wanted to have sex with Darth Vader anyway? Was your mom like a psycho, or something?? the man asked insistently.

    *falls off chair laughing*


  25. GreatOne

    GreatOne Jedi Grand Master star 4

    May 22, 2003
    LOL! For some reason, I doubt that will stop Rolf from using the "Luke Skywalker" pickup line. After all, know he has first hand knowledge from the REAL Luke Skywalker! [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
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