Beyond - Legends Worth Saving (Kyp, Zekk, Alema, Jaina)

jedi_master326,
You are my friend and I owe being on CotF I and Towards Destiny in large part to you. You make me laugh long and often. But spoilers? Not on your life! The only ones who know anything are Lola64 (Beta), Neo-Paladin (Mentor), and Lusa_Thul (Lady with the Dare) and they aren't talking.

 

jedi_master326,
You are my friend and I owe being on CotF I and Towards Destiny in large part to you. You make me laugh long and often.

^this part made me smile.



But spoiler? Not on your life!

^that part made me laugh.



Rock on, Z, and don't forget...

PANTS!

 

This was excellent, Z! There are very few people that can pull off first-person stories without delving too deep into the person's perspective and forgetting that just because it might be from their point of view, things still happen around them. You've bridged the gap all too well, I'm very impressed.

There's no equal to a well-done, interesting first-person story in my book. I'd say you're well on your way down that road.

And I liked your approach with the characters and events. I don't have much experience with the time-period or characters, but you've crafted a story, not just a name-dropping piece where one has to be in the exclusive fan grouping to know what the hell is going on. I appreciate that, because I never felt like I was lost.

I particularly enjoyed this, especially the final line:

The cold wind carries us far from our nest,
The cold wind sweeps us where it may.
Cold wind, bear us out of danger,
Cold wind, carry us home again.

Well done! Feel free to PM me as you update.


jedi - PANTS!

 

This was excellent, Z! There are very few people that can pull off first-person stories without delving too deep into the person's perspective and forgetting that just because it might be from their point of view, things still happen around them. You've bridged the gap all too well, I'm very impressed.

There's no equal to a well-done, interesting first-person story in my book. I'd say you're well on your way down that road.

Wow, now you make me wonder if I shouldn't have stuck with first person throughout the whole thing. Alas, that was just the prologue. There will be different POVs throughout, though, as we watch the story unfold through the eyes of those who love them most.

And I liked your approach with the characters and events. I don't have much experience with the time-period or characters, but you've crafted a story, not just a name-dropping piece where one has to be in the exclusive fan grouping to know what the hell is going on. I appreciate that, because I never felt like I was lost.

Wow, thank you. This is an incredible compliment! This is the pinnacle of writing imo, story crafting.

I particularly enjoyed this, especially the final line:

The cold wind carries us far from our nest,
The cold wind sweeps us where it may.
Cold wind, bear us out of danger,
Cold wind, carry us home again.

^That belongs to Troy Denning. It is the Killik song from The Joiner King. Haunting, isn't it?

Well done! Feel free to PM me as you update.
After a review as wonderfully detailed as this?! You betcha!

jedi - PANTS!
Oh no! He did NOT tell you about that, did he?? *hand slaps forehead* Geez.

 

*scratches head*

I don't THINK I told anyone about that. Maybe Exe just found the word "Pants" funny because of it's randomness. I think I'm gonna go flip through my old PM's and find the whole pants fiasco, and have a much-needed laugh.

So, when are you updating?

 

I should be updating on Monday at the latest. My goal is one a week minimum though it may take a bit to find a schedule that works for me. Right now I am working on tonight's update for Children of the Force. (Jaina's having a bad day)

 

If you want any betaing or help or something, let me know.

 

Can I get update PMs too?

 

jedi,
Thank you. Waaaiit a minute... are you trying to get spoilers again?

DA,
Consider yourself added.

 

Interesting start. I'll humbly admit that I'm clueless about anything that's post-ROTJ and beyond. That said, you've done a great job of showing the powerful bonds between the characters. First-person POV isn't easy, but you've pulled it off nicely. Well done.

 

Just a note to drop in and say "I'm here too!"

Great start, Zonoma!

I just finished reading Joiner King, and this is eerily like a continuation, only in the 1st person POV...

Wonderful beginning!

I too would like PMs, if you don't mind

 

I, too, am completely clueless when it comes to this era, but this was well done and very interesting. Zonoma, PM me when you have a chance.

 

Eventually Zekk bent down and gave Jaina a chaste kiss on her forehead and stepped backward. In a low voice he began to sing.


The cold wind carries us far from our nest,
The cold wind sweeps us where it may.
Cold wind, bear us out of danger,
Cold wind, carry us home again.

Hey Zonoma, Souderwan recommended your story to me. I really like your spin on TJK--the way you incorporated the song was chilling. I like how you have Jaina and Zekk trying to break away from the influence of the Taat mind, even though it must be tearing them apart.

Great chapter and I can't wait to see the rest.

 

oops, signed in under the sock again. i feel like such an idiot when I do that!-Zonoma

 

Interesting start. I'll humbly admit that I'm clueless about anything that's post-ROTJ and beyond. That said, you've done a great job of showing the powerful bonds between the characters. First-person POV isn't easy, but you've pulled it off nicely. Well done.

Bale,
Thank you for stopping by to read this. I know you don't venture into this era often so your interest came as a pleasant surprise! Everyone is making me nervous about this first person POV -not sure what exactly I did, but you guys seem to like it!

Just a note to drop in and say "I'm here too!"

Great start, Zonoma!

I just finished reading Joiner King, and this is eerily like a continuation, only in the 1st person POV...

Jade Max,
Yeah! welcome!! And thank you, I am rather pleased with this start, too. I tried very hard to set as close a tone as I could to TJK so your compliment is rewarding.

I, too, am completely clueless when it comes to this era, but this was well done and very interesting.

GAV,
That's okay, I am pretty clueless about writing Imperials (writing them well anyway) but one doesn't need to know everything to enjoy a good story. I'm glad you stopped by and hope you stick with us!

Hey Zonoma, Souderwan recommended your story to me. I really like your spin on TJK--the way you incorporated the song was chilling. I like how you have Jaina and Zekk trying to break away from the influence of the Taat mind, even though it must be tearing them apart.

Great chapter and I can't wait to see the rest.

Anakins_Force,
New reader! Yeah, yeah, I know technically you are all new readers since this was the first post but I have not seen your name much so I was very pleased to see it here! Souderwan, huh? Remind me to thank him!

And yes, it is tearing them apart to "break influence" but I wonder, "How badly does it kill them to stay together??" I mean, to feel the depth of Zekk's feelings for me as if they were my own while feeling what she does for Jag? That would make me go over the edge, personally. And Zekk? Poor guy!


Thank you all for reading. I will be working up an update while I am out of town this weekend.

 

this is good so far Zonoma. I can't wait to see more from you.

Fireyforce

 

You wrote Jaina and Zekk very, very well - I'm still trying to figure out how you did that from Luke's first person pov!

I liked Luke's solution to the problem - it will be interesting to see where this goes.

 

Fireyforce,
Thank you for dropping by and I hope to see you next week!

ladylaurel18,
You know something? I think Luke was content with his solution, too. Though maybe not Zekk's mission in particular. That may have happened had Luke directed him to or not, who knows? And thank you...(again with the 1st person POV!).

 

Geez, Zonoma, you've got feedback out the wazoo. But it is highly deserved. Sorry I'm late to the party, but I finally got here. This story is full of promise and I can't wait to see what all you have up your sleeve. More soon?

 

This is terribly interesting. The Jaina/Zekk thing is so creepy in the books that it demands to be developed more in fanfiction (or profic, if they decide to pick up on it again in Unseen Queen). Either way, I'm anxious to read more because this could go in so many directions.

I like how the first post was written from Luke's point of view; first person minor is so rarely utilized and often it's one of the most interesting points of view. Good choice. Jaina and Zekk are so messed up at this point I don't know how well anyone could get inside their heads (if you can later in this fic, that's great; I'll be very impressed). This is well-written with an intriguing plot. Congrats on a solid beginning.

Is it too soon to ask for more?

 

Sara,
I am shocked and humbled by the amount of encouraging feedback I have received, too. And yes, there will be more very soon now. Thanks for stopping by and I hope that you enjoy this as much as I enjoy your work!

Jedi_Jaina_Durron,
Thank you for reading and replying. I do plan on trying to get into their heads before this is over but probably not in the way you are expecting and, quite frankly, I'm not sure how it will work out! Guess we'll all have to wait and see, won't we?

 

Oooh, this is great Zonoma! It's awesome to finally see a fic like this!! I'm really eager to read more...hoping for an update soon!!

 

All the kudos have been given (I'm even later getting here than BigFatty) - so I'll just agree with everybody else.

Super job!

I'd love to be PM'd when you update!

Thanks.

oldj

 

And what exactly is that supposed to mean?

 

ZekksGoddess,
"Finally see a fic like this"? I am happy to oblige, ZG.

oldjedinurse,
Wow, you read my fic! *does a happy little dance* I really enjoyed the stuff I peeked at that you wrote even before I joined the boards! I will be honored to PM you.


EVERYBODY: The post is written and off to the beta for dismemberment. It should be up tomorrow and the PMs will be sent as requested. I am a little nervous about this next one. Hope you like it.