Writer's Challenge 5 - Death and Dying

I cheated and grabbed something I had posted on another site, for this very type of topic. Is that kosher, or do I have to start from scratch???

EDIT: And now I just saw, further up in the thread, that it should be something new. How about if it's only two months old and never saw the light of day on this site before? (embarrassed)


"Protective Instincts"

He stands taller than I have ever seen him, a thick pillar of defiance in the face of death.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Does this place look like I am earning enough credits to buy a protocol droid?" His hair, badly in need of a trim, flips back and forth in the midday breeze, and I stifle the urge to reach over and smooth it. I move slowly over to stand more closely to him, aware of the white-armored platoon surrounding us menacingly, but drawn to the stubborn set of jaw, the fists jammed onto hips, the soft boots planted in the sandy doorway. I am mesmerized by the strength of his stance and how his voice almost doesn't quaver.

"You two live here alone?" the leader, apparently, is asking. As soon as he finishes saying it in that strange metallic voice, one of his men returns from Luke's room. "Someone else lives here, or spends a lot of time here, Sir. There's another room that appears to be occupied, but no one is currently there."

The leader swivels back towards Owen, and his voice takes on a new tone. "Where is the third person?" he insists, leveling a large weapon.

My Owen stiffens, and is silent for a moment. A wistful smile plays around his mouth, and his voice is no longer challenging, but more?.resigned. "That's my room.". He inclines his head in my direction. "She can be a real spitfire. Sometimes?she kicks me out." He chuffs out a breath as though embarrassed, but doesn't redden. Oh, Owen?

"Search the grounds. Fan out and keep opening the circle," Leader orders.

I am finally close enough to slip my hand in his, and he squeezes it very hard and doesn't let go.

"You seem perfectly cozy right now?"

The one who was in Luke's room interrupts, "The bed was slept in last night. And the clothes in the closet?I think they are too small for?HIM." He points his laserrifle haphazardly at Owen's head.

The leader's voice is now grating and uncompromising. "We know you bought the droids. The jawas keep records. Where are the droids you bought yesterday?" Leader now levels the blaster at my chest, and my breath catches, but Owen is squeezing my hand very tightly now, and I can feel his shaking as certainly as my own.

He knows it is over. We both do. Dear Gods?

His voice comes, gravelly, but clear and concise, and unmistakably my sweet husband's.

"Go to hell."

 

Oooooooh. I actually have a short piece in mind that fits the bill. It's a brief companion piece to "A Powerful Ally", the beast that I'm wrapping up right now; it involves some assisted soul-searching in the aftermath of a self-defense killing. It is in fact a songfic - I hope that's all right...

 

Padme faces death

Padme was cold. She had been snatched away at night to a place, the god?s know where. She curled up against the wall of the dark room.

She was beyond hunger or thirst. Her dreams and waking started to blend together. Dooku had stopped seeing her altogether. She supposed he left her in this room to die a quiet death.

She thought of Anakin and his bright light warmed her. She didn?t feel anger towards Dooku just sadness over what had become.

She was not afraid of death. It stretched towards her like a warm hand beckoning her to the other world. She heard her own breathing echo off the walls and curled up into another dream.

 

Geezerette50 Nice. There's not nearly enough Owen and Beru stuff out there (that I can find) So sad though... knowing that it's the end for them.

tangled_sphere Tantalizing short. I wouldn't have minded a few more descriptions. And considering that I don't normally read anything from that timeframe... I think I'll shut up now

 

Taking another written piece, even if it is old and not posted to these boards is cheating.

Kithera

 

Dang. I shouldn't have said anything.....

Do you want me to take it down, or may I justify its presence here by writing something new?

Sue

 

Okay, Kit', the piece to which I was referring earlier has become its own full-blown work that's sort of a "Short Story in Four Posts." Would it be permissible to post it in its own thread and then link from here, since your challenge inspired its exact form?

 

*stands and applauds for Healer_Leona...*

 

I'll get around to commenting on everyone's stuff later...I promise

Ty-gon: Yeah, posting it on its appropriate board and putting a link up here is the best way to do it.

Geezerette50: I'm afraid that you are correct. Writing another story IS the only way to redeem yourself.

Kithera

 

Can we have the story be through the POV of the character that dies?

 

*snaps a jaunty salute towards Kit'*

It shall be done sometime during my flight and/or bus ride tomorrow to visit grandsons in WA. Someone is gonna bite the dust.

Sue

 

Healer Leona - I really liked that. I wasn't sure if it was a main character or an OC until near the end when he started thinking of an opponent once friend. Great job!

 

Not too good but...

http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/15111873/?0

 

Geezerette50 - Wow. That was fabulous. There isn't near enough Lars family stuff out there, since all the attention seems to fall on the Force users in the realm of fanfiction. (Even Han doesn't get written about as much, except as a member of The Skywalker Family.) So I'm glad to read this.

tangled_sphere - Eerie, me likes! Death can come with "friendly care," doesn't always have to be struggled against or painful. (Even though I hate reading about Padme dying, and I bawled like a baby when I killed her off in a fic.)

Healer_Leona - Ah, Obi-Wan. Yummy little fic, so sad. Bravo!

Awww, Kithera, shouldn't it be okay if they didn't know?

I'm looking forward to writing something for this thread, hope to get it posted within a few days.

 

Nah, I mentioned it earlier in the thread

I'll see what I can do tomorrow too, it's about time I actually participated in one of my own challenges.

Kithera

 

Wow, I've never really participated in one of these before, read some though...but this actually gives me an excuse to start the prologue for the third book in a series. (I just realized though that every single prologue in it has had someone die...dang... )

I'll see what I can put up and get to reading these

 

Some days I am so dumb it just doesn't really pay to get out of bed. Somtimes that state lasts longer than a day. I wrote a piece for this challenge but wasn't really happy with it. I've been waiting to hear back from a couple people about beta reading it. And I did figure out what was bothering me but haven't had time to really fix it.

Just now the other penny dropped and I remembered that I have two pieces that would be perfect for this. One of which has even been beta read already. D'oh. I do think I want to go over it one more time but you can expect to see somewhere between 1 and 3 (or maybe even more?) posts for this challenge from me before too long.

KD

 

Hmm...let me think...

Keying in: death, SW...

I'll post it up when I'm done, if I'm done.

That make any sense?

 

Here's my little contribution, written today.

Geonosis

?We will not be hostages to be bartered, Dooku.? Master Windu?s answer was defiant and suicidal.

Behind him and to the right, Metrina Okala nodded emphatically, sky blue eyes blazing. So there.

?Then?I?m sorry, old friend.? Dooku?s mellifluous voice dripped with false regret as he lowered his hand. The battle droids resumed their aim at the few - so few - Jedi that had survived the battle thus far. Metrina saw her knight-master take a half-step to his left, placing himself directly between the nearest droids and her. She honored him for the sentiment, but he hadn?t spent the last decade training her to tuck her safely away in some dark corner. She raised her saber, its green light blazing boldly.

When Senator Amidala cried out, ?Look,? Metrina obeyed. She caught sight of Master Yoda in an open-sided ship, descending into the arena, shooting the battle droids away. Chaos again erupted all around her, laser blasts spraying out in every direction. She grinned as she blocked blaster bolts, back-to-back with her knight-master.

Master Thak. They knew each other as they knew themselves, surrogate father and daughter, as fiercely protective of each other as if they were related by blood. In a defensive stance like this, they were almost impenetrable.

The troops in white armor were beckoning the Jedi onto their ships. ?Go,? she shouted. Metrina and her knight-master broke formation and sprinted for the nearest ship. Her beaded blonde braid whipped behind her like the tail of a comet.

Then he was hit. Master Thak died instantly as a blaster bolt hit him square in the chest, shredding his heart. He dropped like a stone. Metrina heard a wordless scream as her feet faltered; her knees gave way, and she hit the ground near her slain mentor. She clenched her mouth shut when she realized that the scream had been hers.

?Metrina! Come on!? Master Windu called from the ship.

?I?ll come back,? she whispered, struggling to her feet. She got two steps closer to the ship when another blaster bolt burned her right shoulder. The inertia from the impact spun her body around and over, onto her back.

The last thing she saw before her eyes closed was Masters Yoda, Kenobi, and Windu, looking frantically down at her from their ships.

*

Metrina woke up to silence and wondered if she was alive or not. The throbbing burn in her shoulder made her mind up for her; she hurt too much to be dead. She turned her head and looked at Master Thak. Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw that the color of his lips and fingertips had shaded from the normal medium-dark, to purple.

Too exhausted to walk, Metrina crawled on her knees and left arm to her teacher?s side. The moisture in her eyes overflowed, tracing tracks down her dirty face. She took a large, cold hand in her own. Then Padawan Okala gingerly laid down on her left side, resting her head one last time against the broad torso that had been her pillow when she was sick, or had awakened from a nightmare. She kept a tired vigil, watching over the dead until the Jedi came back. They just had to finish the battle out there, wherever they were, then they would be back to gather the bodies of their dead. The only thing she could do was wait and watch. And weep.

A faint sound reached her ears, and she looked around. I must be hallucinating, she decided. A child of nine or ten entered the arena. She had studied human-culture mythology as a hobby; the incarnation of Death was usually described as a skeletal figure in a hooded robe. But this boy appeared out of nowhere, jumping and hopping among the droid remnants and dead bodies. Was this Death, coming to collect the spirits of the Jedi? His face was so grim?whoever he was, he wasn?t playing.

The child stopped. He crouched down and picked an object up. Metrina squinted. It was that bounty hunter?s helmet. She watched as the boy lifted the helmet, pressing its forehead to his own. Not Death, she d

 

Here's some questions of mine:

*How long can it be?
*When does this challenge close?
*Can it be a songfic?
*And I take it that this is the thread we post it in?

Just answer those for me, and I'll be good to go.

~Jade

 

It should be fairly shirtish if you are going to pot it in this thread. Any story over two thousand words should have it's own thread on the appropriate board and a link should be posted in this thread.

These challenges don't close. They aren't for colours like the other challenges but more of an excercise to try and get people thinking and writing about different things.

Yes, you can include songfics.

Kithera

 

Alrighty, kewl!

 

Calandria: Good work, I like how Qui-Gon came back to her. The emotions were very nice.

JadeDjo: Cute

Geezerette50: Very sad there Nice way to end it

tangled_sphere: Short, but very nicely written

Healer_Leona: Wow, very well written. Love the way Obi embraces his death, nice to see his point of view in his death.


jedi_keladry: Very nice, I love how they are united in the end.

And here's something I wrote over the past couple days for a part of a prologue


The streets of Tehrah were lined with people, many disheveled or even dirty, and most too skinny from lack of food. The roads had been cleared for the procession of grim faced guards and weeping prisoners, all heading toward the shooting grounds where entire lives were destroyed in the blink of an eye. This was Amaia Endrasuit's first walk there, and, she supposed, it would be her very last.

But she had seen it before. Many times over the past few weeks, where from her prison cell she was able to see those who had commited her same crime, treason. Her mother had been executed the day before. Amaia closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, unwilling to give her captors the satisfaction of her tears. She was no stranger to death, her father had died five years ago, and she had seen many people die during the first rebellion, but she had never faced it as a certainty before.

Every religion preached that death was only a beginning of a new life in which you became one with the Force again. Amaia wasn't sure she knew what that meant, and she'd certainly never seen or felt the Force. What if it did not want her back? She'd hardly been perfect in life. And what if it really didn't exist? Did that mean she would not?

She could not fathom that, ceasing to exist. Surely something of her was meant to live on, but what?

Amaia slowly opened her eyes as she was prodded down the road, looking to the three year old girl, Miran, marching beside her. Some people said that death was merciful, breaking the bonds of mortality and teaching once blind eyes to see the true glory of the galaxy. They said that no one left before their time, but how could a child not? How could a government claiming to be just hold one responsible for her parents actions?

Miran looked up at her, tears welling up in her eyes. "I want Mommy. Where's Mommy?"

"Shh," Amaia murmered softly. "It's alright."

"No!" Miran objected. "Want Mommy!"

The guard behind her growled at her to shutup, only managing to make Miran cry. Amaia glared fiercly at him. He sneered in return, saying, "She'll be quiet soon enough."

Amaia bit her tongue to keep from responding, pulling at binders on her hands. If she were not bound, she could have killed him with her bare hands right there.

If she were not bound.

Taking a deep breath, Amaia turned her gaze away from the guard. There was nothing she could do here. Nothing. Tears touched her eyes, and she fought them back, hard. Her mother had died calmly, with her chin raised like the Lady she was. The last words to escape her lips had been Taragen Endrasuit, Amaia's father's name. Could she have seen him just before she died? Had he come for her?

Beautiful way to think of it, but her mother could have just wanted her last thoughts to be of him. But what if she had seen him? Could they both be there when Amaia died? Force, she hoped so. Hope. Perhaps her mother had said it in hope. Had gone forward with it into the unknown. The most powerful 'unknown' Amaia could think of, and by far the most frightening she'd ever had to face. It could also be her last. Her last breath, her last smile, her last tears, her last thought, her last everything. There wasn't time to do it all, and certainly none for her lifte to flash before her eyes. That would take another lifetime to do. A lifetime she no longer had.

What if there was nothing beyond life?

Amaia shudder

 

She would not give them the satisfaction of more tears. She would go like a lady...

Wow, I like that. To have nothing to do but wait for your number to come up, and in the end, go with your chin up. That's spunk.