Writer's Challenge 5 - Death and Dying

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Kit', Mar 1, 2004.

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  1. BigE

    BigE Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 31, 2002
    Here's my late little entry.

    [link=]Facing Death with Honor[/link]

    I have very much enjoyed the others that I've read thus far.
  2. Wedge_Antilles_Cmdr

    Wedge_Antilles_Cmdr Jedi Master star 3

    May 22, 2002
    [color=006699]Here is mine - it is very short and I am not sure if it fits but it is about death.

    [link=]Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep[/link]

    Wedge :>o<:[/color]
  3. Lilith Demodae

    Lilith Demodae Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Oct 1, 1999
    Are we still going on this one, or are we ready for a new challenge?
  4. Knight_Dilettante

    Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 24, 2002
    I'm still going. Or rather just got started.

    I have a thread [link=]Sketches in the River of Time[/link] which will eventually have two posts that apply to this challenge. The first is already up. The second which will be the second story post in the thread is being tweaked and then will have to be beta'd again, but should be there within less than a week I hope.

    I also have a stand-alone vignette that I am still working for this challenge.

  5. Wedge_Antilles_Cmdr

    Wedge_Antilles_Cmdr Jedi Master star 3

    May 22, 2002
    [color=006699]I'm up for a new one.

    Wedge :>o<:[/color]
  6. Obi-Wan21

    Obi-Wan21 Jedi Master star 4

    Aug 27, 2002
    Does it have to be like a real sad death type thing, or can it also be related to the death of something like a Jedi being killed during the purge or something along those lines?
  7. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Oct 30, 1999
    I was going to start a new one on the 1st of April, but I can start sooner if people would like.

    The death can be about anyone, but should really deal with the experiance of the dying person and their loved ones.

  8. Wedge_Antilles_Cmdr

    Wedge_Antilles_Cmdr Jedi Master star 3

    May 22, 2002
    [color=006699]The first of April is fine - in fact, it is probably best - new month, new challenge.

    Wedge :>o<:[/color]
  9. thegreatyoda

    thegreatyoda Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 10, 2001
    I'd like to keep this one awhile more. I'm working on one and would like a chance to show it off.
  10. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Okay, here is a tiny contribution of my own.

    I held him in my arms; he looked so tiny and perfect. His little mouth was slack, but well formed and his lips were tiny pink replicas of my own. He had the longest fingers I had ever seen. His toes were funny looking, just like his father?s toes. How strange that I would remember those little toes. His weight seemed wrong, too heavy and too light at the same time. He was gone before I knew him. I didn?t get to see his bright eyes looking at the world for the first time, or feel those elegant little hands touching my face.

    People don?t know what to tell me. Do they congratulate me on the baby that lived or sympathize with me over the baby that died? Am I still the mother of twins? My daughter thrives in her crib, her cries assuring me that all is well and she is healthy. But my son sleeps not in a cradle or crib, but a tiny casket. A casket is a terrible place to put your baby. When they put him in the ground I wanted to pluck him from that terrible box and hold him one last time, hold him forever. What if he is cold and lonely down there in the ground? My son may need me and I have abandoned him.

    My Luke, my tiny ray of hope. How could the Force take him from me when we all knew that so many hopes rested on the tiny son of Skywalker? Are those hopes dead with him now or can his sister fulfill the promises he made? My baby daughter, she knew loss before she knew life! I often wonder if she sensed when her brother?s life ended as he lay there beside her inside of my body. I hope and pray that she did not, that her unique talents did not burden her with that knowledge. But I shall never know.

    I will never forget the sight of that little face, the face I had dreamed about seeing for the first time for so many months. I will remember him and think of him for the rest of my life. My son, the angel who could not stay here with me so flew away into the arms of the Force. I will always remember his odd little toes.
  11. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Oct 30, 1999
    Nice VaderL Good imagery, very sad stuff.

    I promise to try and get to everyone else's in the next week or so. I'll try.

    It is truly amazing what you can do while trying to avoid an assignment. Thank you very, very, very much to my very picky beta Herman Snerd (actually he isn't as picky as all that! :p ) This is about two UsJs characters who never really got much air-time.


    They always tell you that you should cry when someone you love dies. They tell you that you should scream and cry hysterically, that there should be tears and shouting, anger and hatred, despair and bargaining. I did none of those things. I didn?t feel any of those emotions. I watched as she breathed her last breath, and all I could feel was relief.

    I watched the pain ebb from her thin face. As her breath rattled through her throat one last time and her too thin hand slipped in her Master?s grip, all I could feel was relief as I watched my best friend and love of my life die.

    Relief and guilt.

    Guilt that I wasn?t crying like the other?s were. Guilt that I was relieved that Tia would no longer be in pain. Guilt that I wasn?t mourning her like I should be. There was no anger, or despair. I wouldn?t have given a single thing for her to live one more day. When she first got sick I would have given anything to make her better, to have her well and happy. As she got sicker and sicker, as she lost weight as the cancer took hold and drained her life away, then I would have given anything to make the pain go away. Anything at all.

    I watched quietly and calmly as the healers gathered and lifted her thin, bony frame and took it away. Watched from my corner as everyone else cried and sobbed and bargained and did nothing.

    I was still calm when they burnt her. I watched them lay her out on the pyre. Heard the quiet speeches from those who were close to her. Saw the rituals performed and stood stony faced and calm. The love of my life was dead and I still I felt nothing. It was when the flames began to lick around her, catching onto her clothes when I finally remembered. I remembered the way she smiled. I remembered her pointed ears and the feeling of running my fingers along their edge. I remembered the sparkle to her eyes and the grin on her face when she laughed. I could hear her voice and feel her as I picked her up. I could see her swimming in the pools in the Room of Waterfalls after she was sick. I could feel her hand grasp mine as they told her the news. I could remember kissing her.

    I remembered? and then I felt. Not anger. Not despair. Not anything but an overwhelming sadness that she would never do those things again. That she was truly gone.

    Then I cried.
  12. sidious618

    sidious618 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Apr 20, 2003
    I'd like to see a new one on April 1st.
  13. DarkDroid

    DarkDroid Jedi Youngling star 3

    Feb 3, 2004
    I'm entering a prelude to my fan fic (link is in my sig). It has a lot to do with death so I said 'what the heck, I'll post here'.


    It makes darkness swell, evil rise and destruction loom ahead.

    The artifact of the Sith has many powers. Many of which cannot be accessed by the living alone. Only the dead could ever hope to hold this artifact and bear the consequences that are embedded within it for eternity. Only those who have died and come back to live again can unlock the secrets of the Mask of the Sith?

    The shadows of Korriban bind the Mask of the Sith from being used or destroyed. It has been nothing but legend amongst both the Sith and the Jedi for millennia. But to the Living and Unifying Force, it is a reality.

    To the living it is a frightful nightmare? but to the dead it is a wondrous dream.

    Nothing is known of the creator. Rumors persist that a rogue Sith Lord crafted the Mask and sacrificed himself in order to become one with his artifact. Others state that the Force itself created the Mask using raw Force energy and combining it with a touch of the Dark Side.

    Nonetheless, it is a poison that touches the soul and corrupts the mind and heart when it is worn by the dead.

    Only the dead can attempt to foil the solid defenses of the ancient Sith ruins on Korriban and hope to find the mask. But if you are dead how can you ever dream to grasp the radiating power of the Mask of the Sith?

    You come to learn how to live again?


    The first of which to find the power was the descendant of the Skywalker, five hundred years after the great Battle of Yavin. He was fighting against his twin for the reign of the Jedi Council on New Coruscant. He was desperate to find a way to defeat his brother and hold the reigns of power over the Jedi Order.

    Just the thought corrupted him.

    The Trade Wars were in full swing. The Galactic Alliance had sent the twin Skywalker?s to destroy the super weapon that the evil Union had built in orbit of the barren world of N?zoth. Though they had succeeded in destroying the super weapon, the corrupted Skywalker turned to the Dark Side, becoming a Darth in the process. The other twin succeeded in defending himself, but killed his brother in the process. The body was laid to rest on the surface of N?zoth.

    And so the corrupted Skywalker began his long journey to find the Mask of the Sith? and his ultimate rise to power.


    I am dead?

    But I will come to learn how to live again?

    I have? foreseen it.


    The Force has foreseen it? it is my?


    He knew nothing but white. He had no body. He had no mind. He had no heart. He only had a soul. But his soul was black with rage and despair. He did not belong here.

    He knew he didn?t belong. The Force told him so.

    Only the weak belonged here. They needed to suffer the consequences of death. He did not, because he was strong in the Force. He was determined. He had to find it?

    The legend of all legends. The greatest power in the Galaxy.

    He had to find the Mask of the Sith.

    He just needed to learn how to live again?

    He needed to learn how to forget...

    He wasn?t a Skywalker anymore. He was death?
  14. Tekli_theInsane

    Tekli_theInsane Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 22, 2004

    :_|You killed Luke! Wow, that was so incredibly written that it made me cry... and I (practically) never cry when I read fics! :_| That was so depressingly beautiful! :(
  15. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo

    CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 1, 2000
    Once more I shall take a stab at these writer's challenges. Death is one thing I do not normally touch in my stories. I've only written one detailed death scene before and you can find that in my Tales of the Galactic Empire: Survivor story, link in bio... So here goes...

    [blockquote][b]A Traitor's Final Hour[/b]

    They had finally defeated him. It took them long enough, he had almost wondered if they would ever find his cloning facility and confront him in a final battle. It had taken him years to come to this point in his campaign, his brilliant strategy to replace influential leaders and personnel with programmed clones and control events in the galaxy, and he was not at all disappointed or outraged that he had lost in the end. In fact, he was pleased that he had been outwitted and outplayed by his enemies.

    The only thing that surprised him was how they had defeated him.

    "I wish it did not have to come to this," he heard his foster-father say from behind him. Only months ago this man had been a prisoner of his, waiting to be shipped off to the concentration camp on an asteroid mine in a remote system. Now he stood before his son as a victorious general, their roles completely reversed. Except this time, he was not going to be shipped off to a camp to die alone and from starvation, this time he was going to perish from this universe without forgiveness and his reputation ruined.

    A quick and painless death is what he was going to be handed. But it would have been so if his executioner had been anyone else other than his father. Instead it would be slow and emotionally painful to him. To be killed by the very man who raised was something a person could not easily swallow. "You could always hand the task over to someone else more suited," the younger General replied to his parent.

    "Why did you do this?"

    "Why?" General Thane repeated and merely smiled up at the older soldier. "You know why."

    "I want you to tell me," Veers demanded in a soft voice.

    "Glory, honor, everything which a soldier like ourselves live for," he answered and watched as the older man slowly walked around his captive in the brightly lit prison cell. He could see the pain in his face and knew that the Field Marshal did not want to go through with his execution. He also knew, that deep down, the Field Marshal agreed with his son.

    Silence filled the obsidian and star destroyer gray decorated cell as the two men stared at each other, neither blinking for several long moments. Thane noticed his father was wearing some of his medals, especially the Sovereign's Regard w/ Diamonds about his neck--the highest award any soldier of the Empire could receive--a medal which he recently received after deceiving his own son with a ruse that he was his prisoner of war, leading the rest of the Imperial Starfleet straight to the location of the cloning facility. The captive looked down at his own bare chest, the field gray color of his army uniform looking dull to his father's.

    It hurt to see the old man display the Sovereign's Regard and it hurt worse to see that his own had been stripped away, along with his rank insignia and his bloodstriped pants replaced with a regular pair. The General chose that moment to sit down and rest his weakening legs as he began to comprehend the full weight of everything that was happening around him.

    "I don't want to do this," Veers finally broke the silence, watching his son carefully.

    "But you have to," Thane lifted his gaze from the polished boots of his father to meet the man's steel gaze again. "There is nothing else left for me in the Empire and if I am not killed, then I will rot in the spice mines of Kessel as punishment. You of all people know how much I hate being incarcerated."

    "You should have considered that before you betrayed your oath to the Empire and the Emperor." Veers scolded harshly, his features softened slightly after a second moment of silence between them. His son said nothing else, even as the Field Marshal took a few steps back from the younger man >
  16. NaboosPrincess

    NaboosPrincess Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    May 14, 2001
    That was incredible, Mitth. Very sad, but great story. :)
  17. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Wow, Mitth! Completely blown away. I can't say any more...
  18. GrandAdmiralJello

    GrandAdmiralJello Comms Admin ❉ Moderator Communitatis Litterarumque star 10 Staff Member Administrator

    Nov 28, 2000
    Impressive work, Mitth. Very impressive. Jaw-droppingly so. ;)

    It makes me almost feel bad for ordering Thane's execution in the backstory of that...
  19. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Sep 21, 2000
    Title: She was the Princess Leia
    Summary: Han sums up his feelings after the worst loss. His wife.
    Notes: Post EU. One post. In response to the death and dying challenge by Kit'.
    Author: Sara Kenobi


    She was sunlight beaming brightly just after a spring rainfall; beautiful was not a word to even begin describing exactly what she was to people, but it was the most poignant that you could ever hope for.

    Her grace, and sheer nerve, is something people will always remember her most for, especially those who knew her best.

    A lady among Kings, a leader that faught against the crimes of evil tyranny her whole life, a leader that believed in fighting for what was right in this galaxy. She instilled this into her children and all others whose hearts she blessed.

    If there was ever such a thing as a perfect angel in this life, it was her, it was my dear wife.

    She made me believe where I once did not, and made me see that anything was truly possible. My wife made me see.

    I was blind in darkness and she gave me her light. I will carry that light with me, forever, until my time comes to join her in the beyond where she awaits me now.

    I will love you, always, my wife.

    I hope you know it.


  20. JalendaviLady

    JalendaviLady Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Nov 20, 2002
    Got bitten by random moment plot bunny from my AU universe... wanted the focus to be on how a Jedi character would handle an expected end.

    Writing in the new post window so please forgive spelling and grammar errors...

    As Yet Untitled

    By JalendaviLady


    Hannar hadn't come back.

    The thought had been echoing in Anakin's mind for several minutes, ever since Hannar had seemingly searched for something in his pocket and quietly excused himself from the group. Everyone seemed to be getting jumpy at the table in the fine restaurant. Shani was glancing worriedly towards the door Hannar had left through. Padme, in disguise as a local middle-class Coruscant native, was trying to keep her calm. Something strange and bothersome had entered Saman's brilliant blue-green eyes and his girlfriend Zora was trying to get him to snap out of whatever trance-state he seemed to have fallen into. Kennet was scanning the area, just as oblivious as Anakin but trying desperately to figure out what might have happened.

    "Anakin," Shani sobbed.


    "Do you mind... going to see... where he went?"

    "No problem, Shani. Something must have delayed him in whatever he was going to do out there, you'll see."

    Anakin left, heading to the lower levels of the landing deck outside where they had all parked their speeders.

    Only to see a slumped form on the ground, lying in an expanding dark pool in the shadows near one of the walls.


    The form moved slightly and Anakin ran over, falling to his knees and cradling his friend against himself.

    "ana... kin...?" Hannar mumbled, wheezing. His red-gold eyes locked weakly on Anakin.

    "Shh. It's gonna be okay..."

    Another wheeze. "no... it's not..."

    Anakin's heart sank when he saw the spreading red blotch on Hannar's tunic. Oh Force... One of his lungs is punctured. How long has he been lying here? "Shh. We'll get you to the healers and everything will be okay," Anakin insisted half-heartedly, voice cracking with emotion on every word.

    "ana... kin... i knew... this might... happen... ever since... i started... speaking against... the chancellor..."

    "Hannar, why? Why would someone hunt you for speaking against Palpatine?"

    The gleam in Hannar's eyes was fading. "because of... who i am... and who he is..."

    "Hannar? What do you mean?"

    He grimaced for a moment. "i'm... his..."

    Hannar gave a sigh, collasping into Anakin's arms, motionless. The light left his eyes.

    "Hannar?" Anakin pleaded, sobbing.

    There was nothing to do, no enemy to hunt... only the survivors left to pick up the pieces of their lives, sans a dear and beloved friend.

    And Shani cried for three straight days.


    It was on the fourth day, after the funeral was completed and the formal Jedi mourning for a fallen padawan over that Padme found what Hannar had been looking for.

    A small black jewelry box, fallen into the upolstry of Hannar's seat.

    And in it a fine ring of rare corusca gems, with the words "Hannar and Shani, Forever" inscribed inside the band.

    A sob. Padme turned around to find Shani standing behind her. "I guessed... he was... going to propose..." she cried.

    Padme pressed the box into Shani's hands. "Shh. Someday... your heart will mend... We'll all help you get through this..."

    "I leave... for home... deep away from Republic eyes... tonight..."

    Padme moved back in shock. "Why?"

    "I'm two months pregnant... As long as I stay, the baby's in danger..."

    The two women embraced, crying at the unfairness of the world.


    The next day, Shani left and was not heard from or of for decades...

    Not until after Palpatine breathed his last and the world was safe for her child again.
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