Writing Lightsaber duels

Just looking for some wisdom on how to effectively write Lightsaber duels

For example is it best to write Blow-For-blow or just a general overview of the duel, etc.

 

I would recommend the post topic, "T.A.C.T.I.C.S"-- where questions like yours are dealt with. There should be some great answers there.

 

Thanks

 

Oh boy... those are some of my favorite scenes to write. IMO, the key is to use quick choppy phrases to make the reader read more quickly and get into the action. You want to be as descriptive as possible without getting in the way of the ultimate goal... the action. You have to use sword fighting jargon such as 'parie' and 'feign'.

These scenes are quite fun to write when you can really get into it.

Example:

Tiram crouched low; his lightsaber ignited. His blade pointed down to the right and hands were raised high to the left. He watched as his opponent, Darth Maul, assumed his own en guard stance.

In the blink of an eye Darth Maul launched his attack. He came from the left and brought his blade down to bear on Tiram's left shoulder. Tiram anticipated the move and rolled to the right while he swung his own blade to intercept the Sith's. In a second he was back up.

Darth Maul struck again; low right sweeping stroke. Tiram went to block low, but it was only a feign. Midswing the Sith changed rotational direction. He swung the other way in an attempt to slice the Jedi's midriff. Tiram dropped to the ground, raised his foot, kicked the Sith in the chest, and sent him flying.


And obviously you would continue the fight but that should be enough for an example.

Som fun phrases to use are:
En masse
En guard
Riposte

 

T.A.C.T.I.C.S people don't like lightsaber battles, actually. They're more about space battles, etc...

 

I've found that in writing stories that have any kind of sword-like combat in them that an easy way to learn the terminology is by going to any fair sized bookstore that has a theatre section and looking for the books that they use to help actors learn how to swordfight. I can't think of any titles right off the top of my head, but they're usually pretty good to have around for reference.

 

one thing to keep in mind that in movies, the swordfighters keep hitting each others' blades like that was their target. The point of swordfighting is to hit the other person, not their blade. And the point of it is to wound to kill if not kill outright. I take Fencing and I know I could probably never write it out b/c it just happens so fast. Your opponent's blade hits yours while it's on its way to hitting your opponent. Movies don't really show that.

 

Um...

JM, sorry to be a pest...

You meant parry, not parie...

 

You're right I did... I even checked it last night in Word and forgot to change it. It's strange because I've never written it like that before in any of my duels.

 

You could go down to your local medieval event/club/fighter's group and watch them for a while. Although swords seem to be much clumsier then a lightsabre it might give you an idea of how the interplay can work in real life. Or you could watch your local fencers group instead~!

Hope it helps

Kithera

 

T.A.C.T.I.C.S. is for all kinds of combat; it's just that space battles are the most commonly asked about.

As a (budding) swordswoman, I'd say detailed "blow by blow" is probably TOO specific, and could even get tedious. I try to "see" the fight in my head, describe the general flow with maybe a few specific cuts & blocks, particularly if they are important (leave wounds, slice up nearby furniture, etc.). Ditto hand to hand.

There's also a thread on learning how to fight on the Costuming page, a lot of very experienced folks there; who might be willing to answer a question. You could ask generally and PM anyone for more details if they are willing to help. And most would, I bet.

 

Thanks for the help, sorry for the late response.

 

Try a combination of the two. Whenever the duelers make really good moves, write it blow-for-blow. Otherwise, just get the general overview of the battle.

And keep your combatant's fighting form in mind.

 

I would write it like a dream. Just gradually increase the pacing (use the short, choppy sentences) until you're up to Jedi reflex speed and you just go like The blade went up...down...back to the shoulder... etc. That might just be me, though.

 

another great lightsabre resource

 

can someone critique this lightsabre scene for me? i'm not really good at writing action; angst and romance is more of my area.

~

Anakin huffed as he tried to call up the doctor's program. He didn't want to talk to Jacen, Tahiri or anyone else in his family and he figured talking to a holographic doctor was better than talking to no one. .

The EMH turned to him and smiled, "Ah Master Anakin, it's good to see you. How may I help you?"

"I need to talk to someone...I guess, you'll do. At least with you, I know I can't be hurt," he mused, frowning again, "I can't stand the pain anymore, doc."

"Is this physical pain? Are you hurt?" he asked, believing his hurt was external.

Anakin nodded, "No, I didn't mean that. It's ---," he pointed to himself, "I'm hurting in here. It's a hidden pain caused by the people I loved very much. But it's a deep pain...I almost hurt one of the people I loved. I didn't want to but something inside of me wanted to."

The doctor smiled, "I trust your friend is all right, now? She's not hurt anymore?"

"I don't know...I hope she's all right. She was just trying to apologize for her actions and I lost it. She didn't deserve to be hurt like that," he cried as his brother and sister appeared. Anakin scowled, ignoring the doctor, "What's this? You're both going to tell me I need help?"

Jacen carefully stepped forward, "Anakin, you do need help...Look, we can work this out."

"No," he retorted, glancing at Jaina, "You had your chance to tell me everything from the beginning. But instead all you did was lie; one lie after another. Everything you told me was a lie!"

Jacen shook his head, slowly walking towards him again, "Anakin, I haven't lied to you."

Anakin glanced at his sister again, "There's no need for you to be here, Jaina," Anakin started, "Be with Jag, enjoy your time together."

Jaina nodded, "I will but I'm worried about you, Ani. And I'm not leaving here until this is settled."

Anakin scowled, looking down, "Then I'm sorry." Jaina was about to question him again but she stumbled backwards, and was literally picked up and thrown against the wall. She moaned, glancing once at Jacen and Anakin before passing out.

Jacen circled around him, "You didn't need to do that, Anakin. Jaina wasn't a threat. She was just trying to help you."

He laughed, "If she was so concerned for me, she would have come to me earlier and told me what was going on between you and Tahiri! I knew she knew, everyone knows about the two of you and the funny thing is, no one seems to care...except for me."

Jacen glanced at his own lightsaber; he didn't want to use it on his own brother but if Anakin attacked, he would be forced to unless he managed to calm him down. "Anakin, I know you're hurt but believe me, it was never my intention to hurt you.?

?Never was your intention? What exactly was your intention, brother??

?Anakin, this is ridiculous!? Jacen shouted, looking at Jaina and then at his little brother.

?Enough!? Anakin barked, glancing at the doctor, ?Off.? Before the doctor could say something, he vanished, leaving the brothers? alone and to their anger.

Jacen gasped, stepping back as Anakin?s hand hovered over his lightsaber. He squinted his eyes, staring at his little brother. Anakin growled, staring back at his brother, lightly touching his lightsaber. Jacen?s eyes suddenly widened as Anakin grabbed his lightsaber, holding its blue blade close to his head. He swiftly removed his lightsaber and ignited it, circling around Anakin, ?I don?t wish to fight you, Anakin.?

He laughed, ?It?ll be easier for me to kill you, brother,?

?Kill me?? Jacen echoed, rolling to the left as Anakin struck his blade. Jacen huffed, successfully blocking him. ?Anakin, this really isn?t necessary,? he cried, breaking away and pushing Anakin across the room, using the Force.

Ani shook his head, glanced at his brother and jumped to his feet. He held out his hand, calling his fallen lightsaber and attacked again. Jacen knew his moves so he could anticipate

 

Critique - There's a couple of places where there needs to be a setup sequence. Your movements are good, but they come out of nowhere. Stuff like; "climbing to his feet" or "suddenly a blinding light rose up to intercept his blade, stopping it dead in its tracks" would help to setup up the action or the dialogue that follows it.

The best way to write saber/sword combat is to go watch some swashbuckler movies (Erryl Flynn & Douglas Fairbanks Sr.) and try to describe what happens in each duel. After you do this a couple of times, you get the hang of it and can then write your own scenes. Good Luck!

 

Tiram crouched low; his lightsaber ignited. His blade pointed down to the right and hands were raised high to the left. He watched as his opponent, Darth Maul, assumed his own en guard stance.

In the blink of an eye Darth Maul launched his attack. He came from the left and brought his blade down to bear on Tiram's left shoulder. Tiram anticipated the move and rolled to the right while he swung his own blade to intercept the Sith's. In a second he was back up.

Darth Maul struck again; low right sweeping stroke. Tiram went to block low, but it was only a feign. Midswing the Sith changed rotational direction. He swung the other way in an attempt to slice the Jedi's midriff. Tiram dropped to the ground, raised his foot, kicked the Sith in the chest, and sent him flying.


Just some observation, my friend, but why is Darth Maul mentioned with his whole name every time? Maul is sufficient for normal usage at a time like that. Also, the first sentence of the third paragraph should be a comma, not a semicolon; and "Feign" should be "feint".

As advice, why not look at some of the saber duels in SW books? You'll find they range from the drawn-out to the brief, the every-move-told detail, to the third person casual. Some off the top of my head are:

3 saber duels in The New Rebellion: Luke vs Brakiss; Luke vs Kueller tiwce.

I,Jedi: Corran vs the Jensaari master, and her apprentices before that.

Dark Apprentice: Gantoris vs Luke

Ruin and Vector Prime: plenty of saber action

 

i have a fake lightsabre i bought for last halloween. i would love to go over the moves myself, but there always seems to be someone in the house so i can't work on them myself.

 

Well this one came back to life. I may need some help here soon... I am trying to write a story with JaegerGhent.

 

Well, here's a peice from my fic Redemption of a Jedi. This duel took about a month to conceive and get fully written down. Hope it can help anyone having trouble describing a duel.



The Clash of the Lightsabers



Cam Mulonus hit the accelerator, and his swoop flew away from the Dredd Compound. He held onto the handlebars tightly as his swoop leaped over the edge of the cliff and landed on the beach, repulsors stopping him from crashing into the sand.. He pushed the swoop to it's limits, the engine whining as Cam's modified accelerators shoved it into overdrive. Cam's swoop threw up a trail of sand about forty meters long behind him. All objects on the beach became a blur as he flew by them. A massive rock wall lay on his right, the sandy beach underneath him, and the Great Ocean to his left.

Lamaro, the Great Sun of Lamaredd, was now setting over the ocean, casting the entire sky into a glowing crimson.

Wind flapped his short brown hair all around. His jade green jumpsuit, although on tight, flapped a little in the air. His swoop racing boots wrinkling, his gloves that were Zek's giving him inspiration. He had to save her, this woman, Adela Narra, that he loved.

The Sith, the fiend had attacked her and taken her captive. No telling what harm or atrocity he would commit to her. The Sith had slain Cam's uncle Zek Dredd. The young Jedi had failed to stop him then. He was not about to fail now!

The rock wall on his right lowered, and in it's place trees appeared, marking the edge of the massive Hugo Jungle. The beach was about ten meters across in most places, with various rocks and seashells dotting the surface; a few fallen trees lay across it. Waves endlessly battered and morphed this place known as Hugo Beach.

No way that pathetic Imperial speeder bike could outrun a fully outfitted Flare-S Swoop.

Cam felt voices in his head as he neared the end of his ride. They seemed angelic, perhaps the almighty choir of the Force. Korah! Mahtah! Korah! Rahtama! Neeyha! they said.

Finally, he came upon the Sith known as Darth Furor. A rock jetty, about four meters tall, extended all the way across the beach and out about ten meters into the water. It was this that had halted Furor, whom had parked and waited. His speederbike behind him, and Adela lay unconscious by the sbike. Cam cut the thrusters and leaned the swoop right as he tried to slow it. It came to a halt about fifteen feet from Furor, whom was patiently waiting with an evil grin on his face.

Cam shut the swoop down and quickly jumped off, sending sand flying as he came down on his feet.

A somewhat rough wind blew each fighters hair around. Waves crashed all about them, making loud splashes. Sand blew around them all. The glorious sunset adding a mood of epicness to the scene. One could not picture a more perfect battleground.

The two stood there for some time, staring each other down. Furor finally cast off his coak, showing his tight, dark grey robes. His feet were adored in a linen wrapped mummy-style up to his knees, and wore grey, ankle-length boots. His dreadlocks waving in the wind, the yellow lines running across his Kiffar face looking terrible as usual. He yanked the long lightsaber from his belt and, while twirling it into position, ignited it.

Cam pulled his hilt off his belt less skillfully, and and simply ignited it with one hand.

Cam cautiously approached, saber between him and Furor. The Sith Apprentice smiled. "The Force is with you, Jedi! I cannot deny you that! Truly, you will be a formidible opponent for a Dark Lord of the Sith!'

Cam halted, and glared at the murderous opponent. "Yeah, Master Windu told me all about you, Sith Lord! Well, I don't care what you are! First you murder my Uncle, now you kidnap my friend. I will not let you harm anyone else!" He glanced at Adela, her semmingly lifeless body laying behind the tall villian.

She would not die now. Not while Cam Mulonus had yet strength. He confidently smiled back at Furor. "Hand over the woman!"

Furor's eyebrows went up, a loo