You might be a chav if

As an American I am always wanting to learn about the UK. Heck I work for one your companies so its in my best interest to understand your culture.

Jeff Foxworthy had a comedic act called You might be a redneck. He listed ways of being a redneck for example.

You might be a redneck if you go to a family reunion to look for a date.

So tell me, you might be a chav if

 

You might be a chav if you miss your English GCSE exam to attend your child's birthday party.

 

Speaking of chavs, I encountered a typical example in WH Smiths this morning. Two women, 20s, one with 2 screaming brats. One in a pushchair and one running loose. She was yelling on her mobile at somebody about her benefits while yelling at one of the kids about not buying toys. Both had on the typical chavvy navel-revealing tops.

 

You might be a chav if you voted for the Conservatives so that the cider tax increase would be cancelled

 

You might be a Chav if you think your sovereign ring makes you look classy

 

You might be a Chav if you went to see Street Dance at the cinema, in 3D!

 

You might be a chav if you think Roul Moat is a legend.

Yes it's true, the guy murdered 2 people and shot 2 others including a police officer but there's already a facebook site with 18,000 members. The news is also showing people gathering at the place he shot himself and laying flowers. I can't believe the people in this country!

 

His family by any chance? You know, the people who have been airing their concern about the man's mental state and talked about how fragile he was on nearly every single news outlet in the UK?

Anyway, back on topic.

You are a chav if you think Hastings or Blackpool is exotic.

 

You might be a chav if ... you wear gold from Elizabeth Duke, Argos

...if you buy flowers from a petrol station and think it is romantic!

 

I think the majority of the workforce of several major cider makers down this end of the country might not thank you for that.

The crucifixion of breweries and pubs in the UK right now is a huge topic of conversation and worry down in Cornwall... and then the Cider tax came along.

I mean, you wouldn't want these people becoming dole scum now would you?

*Le sigh*

...

 

We have 4 pubs in the High Street here, so the town would hardly be lost if a couple of them closed. Besides, one pub's loss is another pub's gain.

I'm all for strongly taxing booze, it's already so cheap that people can buy so much that they get plastered all the time. Havy drinking isn't exactly good for you, so it should be discouraged as much as possible.

Frankly I'm not sure Chavs know who to vote for, or infact who the PM is. If they knew the history of the government they probably wouldn't vote Conservative.

 

I'm against making responsible drinkers pay heavy taxes just because a minority can't behave where alcohol is involved. I'd rather see the offenders be fined or jailed if the offense is bad enough. Somebody buying a bottle or two of wine or spirits for consumption at home isn't in the same league as someone who goes to the pub, gets legless, and causes problems as a result.

 

YOu might be a chav if your Christmas dinner comes from Iceland

 

You might be a chav if you go around trying to throw snowballs at people for a laugh and end up missing.

 

Hey, just because they have a poor aim it doesn't make them a chav.

You might be a chav if you laugh at stories of 6 year old asylum seekers losing their legs in an attempt to get in a lorry to sneak into the country.

 

So today I learned that chavs are actually good for something:

Holonet News

(Someone linked to the issue in Lit and when I saw this I couldn't resist.)

 

I wouldn't want to eat chav. It wouldn't be properly washed

 

I'd think the steam-distilling that the recipe mentions would handle that. You'd have to make sure all the bling and studs were removed though as you'd crack a filling on that.

 

you might (or definitely) be a chav if you are living in a council house and own a 52" LCD TV, a 360, ps3 and Wii and can afford to run a Jaguar X type!

 

Chavs never have good cars, they have no taste.

 

you might be a chav if elbertino

 

elbertino!!!