Saga You'll Like Me When I'm Dead - Post RoTS AU - V/P Dark Drama - Updated - March 15

Also I meant to say that as a long time lurker I can't actually send a PM and thats why I've asked on my reply instead

 

I just got caught up with this wonderful story again, your writing is amazing! It seems like Vader/Anakin has a split personality, the way he can be so brutal with Ventress when he is angry, yet be so tender with Padme in this chapter when she needs him. I really like the way Padme sees the parts of Anakin that are within him. I hope they will somehow resolve the way they feel about one another at some point.

Could you send me the training salle chapter, I am not able to send PM's yet? Thank you.

 

Thank you for sending me the "romantic" training salle scene from chapter 52! It was very tastefully done. This last chapter of Padme letting Vader comfort her was a long time coming. I am hoping they continue to resolve their relationship. I am really looking forward to your next chapter!

 

I found this story about a month ago. I love the way you have created this whole Vader/Anakin dichotomy and his struggles with his emotions which have always been such an important part of his character in the movies. You have constructed this story so beautifully. You reveal a layer at a time and just keeps getting more interesting with each chapter. I would really like to read any of the extra "romantic" scenes that you have and since I am still a lurker i still can't PM.

I have truly enjoyed your story so far and look forward to the next update

 

ANAKINS_CLAW ? I?ve never actually worked on a story that?s had this much forethought or planning go into it, but Daenarrah and I certainly didn?t skimp on the planning stages. We know roughly what timeframe we have to follow to make it evolve ?naturally? and what key events have to happen to shift the direction of it. Keeping Padmé and Vader in character through it all is very, very hard sometimes.

The next couple of chapters were really tough to write because of the content and I?ve done a lot of revision because of it.

Most people who have written stories like this give Padme an incredibly shallow character that is defined only by her love for Anakin, and have them living happily ever after within a few chapters.

That was the main bone of contention when Daenarrah and I started writing this. Padmé was a strong character up against Anakin, also a strong character, but twisted into Vader. Unless he?s going to break her, her ideals and beliefs were strong enough that at the end of Movie three she was going to walk away from him.

A ?Quickie? reconciliation wasn?t what we wanted.

It?s not exactly what Padmé doesn?t believe there?s good in Anakin still, it?s just that well? she?s not of the opinion that Vader is Anakin on some level. I mean, she claimed to be a widow and now she?s being forced to understand that 1) she?s not and 2) like you said, for there to be good in Vader, there must be evil in Anakin.

Also, well done for showing that evil, its great seeing Vader as the villain he's supposed to be. Anyways keep up the good work

Thanks! Vader as a villain is what he?s supposed to be ? except with Padmé. Well, even with Padmé sometimes, but not in the same way as everyone else. He doesn?t want her to see what he?s capable of because he?s more than aware she?d never accept it and he doesn?t want to push her away. The man is a brilliant tactician and that, more than anything, is difficult to convey :/

Anakins_Kiss ? Padmé is going to be forced to accept some hard truths over the next few chapters and it started with this one; things she doesn?t want to see, doesn?t want to acknowledge, but things that can?t be changed. Like, for example, there?s a man sharing her space that wears her husband?s face and shares her sense of loss over the twins. It?s a truth she hasn?t fully accepted yet but won?t be able to avoid.

I liked that she is finally able to see the glimpses of 'Anakin'.

Those glimmers are what work on her conscience; and they?re fun to write. Daenarrah and I wanted to ensure there were some Padmé/Anakin moments as well as Padmé Vader.

I like that Vader can exert some control over his emotions and urges. It was a softer touch that was well needed.

Vader is slowly realizing that he needs to change tactics with Padmé. What might have worked once isn?t going to work now, and having his ego thoroughly trashed by her continued rejections means he?ll be walking on eggshells when it comes to his own treatment of her and lends him a caution he wouldn?t otherwise have had. His arrogance hasn?t diminished, it?s simply muted by necessity.

Another way, if you will, of getting what he wants

What I really thought was interesting was the Bail (at least somebody from that camp) is admiting to having a moral issue with keeping the children away from Padme, though it may have been the best thing for all three. I've had the perception that they were a bit cold and callus with how they dealt with Padme and her children. It didn't sit right that they took them immediately after birth.

This actually wasn?t planned originally as a part of this chapter and was added kind of ?after the fact? because of some of the feedback I?ve been seeing about Bail. Bail isn?t the monster everyone believes him to be; he?s a man stuck between two awful decisions and possible outcomes and struggling to make them work.

Does he want Padmé to raise her children? Absolutely ? as long as there?s no Sith involved. Does he care about what he?s done to Padmé? Certainly, he agonizes over

 

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Chapter 71

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Vader's Flag Ship Exactor - Month Twenty Five, Day Eight PEF

Morning

The deep, restful sleep that had claimed Padmé with Vader?s assistance was slow to withdraw and, as morning called her from slumber, she fought its call. After weeks, months? years of dreading sleep, it was a novel concept to not want to wake. But wake she did, her eyes fluttering open reluctantly as a sound penetrated her dreamless sleep.

Focusing on her surroundings, Padmé blinked as her gaze fell on the man stretched out rather awkwardly at the end of the sofa who was making the noise. His legs were stretched out, one on the coffee table, one towards the far side of the sofa, his pants riding low on his hips and his bare feet peeking out at the bottoms. She took in the even rise and fall of his naked chest, noting with detached amusement that it matched the rise and fall of his snores. Following his skin upwards to the uncomfortable tilt of his neck, she noted that his head lay on an outstretched arm along the back of the sofa, one of her hands still caught firmly in his.

He?d kept his promise.

A rueful smile crossed her lips as she watched him sleep and she shook her head once.

Last night had been bad; very bad. She?d needed and he?d been there, offering the comfort and support she?d have been unable to cope without? but had it had to come from Vader, the man with Anakin?s face? The last time she?d turned to him, he?d turned it into an argument; would he do the same again this morning? Use her weakness against her; take advantage of it and try to use it as a weapon? As a way for her to see his skewed point of view?

She sighed softly, taking in the smooth lines of his features; the scar across his eye and cheek; the fall of his hair across his brow ? the familiar features of Anakin, just as the feel of the hand in hers was familiar.

The thought came from somewhere in her subconscious that, despite what might happen next, this had been nice. It had been nice to have someone to lean on, to have Anakin to lean on, for that was how he?d seemed the night before. So much so that she?d called him by name. Been able to see Anakin in each of his looks, his gestures; he'd been Anakin for all intents and purposes.

Or had it just been her own wishful thinking, her need making her see what she wanted to see?

Watching him now, she didn?t know.

Would she be able to call him Anakin again; would he give her cause to? Or would he shift back into the patterns she?d seen since arriving? Would he be arrogant and demanding; would he take instead of give; instruct instead of ask?

Her hand twitched in his and his fingers closed once more about them, an automatic reflex that was reminiscent of her husband; just one more small thing to prey on her mind. Carefully extracting her hand, she eased from her blankets and stood, heading for the ?fresher.

She was about to step through the doorway when Vader?s comlink began to sound. She paused, glancing at the open door to his bedchamber where the sound of comlink was coming from and then back towards where he was still sprawled in his uncomfortable position on the sofa.

Deciding she should ignore it, if it was important someone would fetch him, Padmé disappeared into the ?fresher and secured the door behind her.

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The repeated sound of the door chime woke him, his head coming up from its position with a grimace as his neck cracked, and Vader blinked blearily. A pain in his leg made him wince as he straightened, his leg falling from the table as he realized he wasn?t in his bed and couldn?t immediately place where he was.

Rubbing his hand over the back of his neck, he rotated it as he tried to work the kink out, and paused as his gaze fell on the tangled blankets on the other end of the sofa.

Padmé.

Her nightmare.

Her request.

His agreement.

Straightening he looked about. "Padmé?? concerned after the way he?d seen her the previous night, Vader stood. Stepping away from the sofa, he frowned when he co

 

This update got past me, but I really like the way Padme is beginning to see the fact that Vader and Anakin are linked, and that Vader is still the twins' father (whether she likes it or not). Vader shows no mercy to anyone but Padme, no wonder she is afraid of the influence he would have on Luke and Leia. You make me wonder if having his family with him would, while not redeeming him, temper him somewhat since he might not want his wife and children to see him behaving as a monster. I really enjoy this story, I'm looking forward to the next update!

 

Naboo_Sky - life's been busy and I haven't had time to do send out any of the PMs people have asked for *sighs* ah well.

Part of this story's outline includes a revelation by Padme that Anakin has darkness and Vader has light; it's not something she'll admit to him, really, but it's something she comes to accept eventually.

And you're right; Padme is the only person Vader shows any mercy to. the flip side of that though, is that he doesn't want her to see him being unmerciful to anyone else. There will be things he keeps from her, horrible things - as showcased by the bombardment of the Toydarian planet - that he knows she'd never accept but still feels justified in doing.

You make me wonder if having his family with him would, while not redeeming him, temper him somewhat since he might not want his wife and children to see him behaving as a monster.

Temper is a good description, but once they're gone - as in away from the scene - it's likely he'd revert true to form and be Vader again. Just having Padme around isn't enough to 'correct' his behavior - which was the whole point of this fic to begin with *grin*



Update is a day early; tomorrow is my husband's birthday so don't expect to hear from me at all

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[b][u]Chapter 72[/u][/b]

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[b]Vader's Flag Ship [i]Exactor[/i] - Month Twenty Five, Day Nine PEF [/b]

[i]Evening[/i]

Tedious.

Vader reviewed the next segment of Threepio's memory files, the holo recording a badly corrupted mess of static and fuzz, interlaced with snatches of conversation that were so horribly garbled they didn't come through properly.

He'd been through a lot recordings like that one and skimmed through several long minutes before pressing the keys that would send it for data retrieval, if it was possible. The computer program he'd written - with Artoo's help - for it was highly sophisticated and designed to reverse memory wipes, but he still doubted he'd be able to make much sense of the information. Whatever holo Artoo had suggested he seek hadn't yet presented itself.

[i]I'll know it when I see it; sure. Right. I?m going to mangle that bucket of bolts![/i] Vader fumed silently, pressing the seek button and allowing the computer to find the next uncorrupted segment. [i]According to the time stamps on this garbage, we're four [/i]days[i] into her coma![/i]

Shaking his head, he turned back to the computer and the files he'd set to be retrieved before retiring the night before.

After his disappointment over the found twins not being theirs, he'd locked himself in his office after a brief and intense spat with Padmé where Threepio had drawn his wrath when the droid had tried to intervene. He'd been expecting a fight after emerging from the 'fresher and he'd gotten it.

Knowing he couldn't please Padmé by finding their children, he'd instead embarked upon a different kind of torture; he'd begun reviewing Threepio's corrupted memory files. The amount of data he'd retrieved from the droid was staggering. There were whole segments of uncorrupted data, but none in the memory logs Artoo had suggested.

Despite the pain she continued to cause him with her refusal to accept his search for their twins, he couldn't abandon it and wouldn't. She'd come to accept it eventually simply because she had no other choice, but in the interim, he knew he had to do something to help her see that she could turn to him more often than just when she was at her lowest.

Artoo's suggestion, thus far, had wasted a whole day; a day where his only contact with the bridge had been a short, "Things are proceeding as planned, Lord Vader; construction is on schedule and we believe Lady Ventress has eliminated the last of the resistance pockets with her return; still no word from the Hutts," report from his General.

He'd made no reply other than to leave instructions to contact him immediately when the situation with the Hutts changed. He also sent Asajj a coded disc with the locations his spies had supplied of two more Jedi on nearby planets; Nal Hutta and Lannik.

If he'd kn

 

Even though this will likely not affect Vader enough to go back to the lightside of the force, I hope it will be enough to adjust his approach enough that Padme will start to accept him...did I just say that? I can't help it love Anakin and Padme together, even if Vader tags along for the ride.

On another note, I realize that Vader has found another lead in the hopes of finding his children. He knows he last saw Padme on Mustafar with Obi-wan and he told Threepio that she needed medical care immediately. All Vader would have to do is look for medical facilities in the area, right? Does the holo show the children's faces?

I don't know what happened with these last few updates. I must have been desperate for an update. I went back and double checked to see if I missed one. It seems like I can't wait for them anymore...Keep it coming Jade. I am loving it.

 

Thanks for the update, Jade_Max. I love the idea of Vader being forced to think about the agony he caused to Padme, from her perspective. Whether or not it changes his future actions, it's definitely interesting to see Vader being forced to accept the notion that what he deemed right (for him, at least) to do might have in fact been horribly wrong.

 

This chapter is great, you showed so well how Vader made Padme suffer because of his temper combined with the dark side. I still wonder how Vader justifies to himself the fact that he made Asaaj his mistress after he knew Padme was alive, and he was looking for her. I could see if he thought she was dead, but he knew she was alive. Did he have other paramours on Coruscant before Asaaj? Vader was very hurt by Padme and Max, I wonder if he even realizes how he hurt Padme by what he did with Asaaj? He seemed to dismiss it, but he really wants to get his hands on Max. You have me remembering other chapters, that shows you have an interesting plot here. I can't help but hope Padme and Vader will move forward in their relationship again soon. I am waiting for the next chapter!