Amph What was the last movie you saw? (Ver. 2)

The Blaxploitation elements seemed like a desperate attempt to be hip and cool and represents the franchise at a moment where it was a bit unsure of itself. Bond was the epitome of cool in the 60s, but with the social unrest of the times they must've wondered if an "establishment" guy--"The Man"--would still play with audiences.

I can't say I love the film, but man there's a lot to like there. One of those "total less than the sum of its parts" affairs. I'll be the 10,000th person to comment on Jane Seymour. She is, simply, one of the most breathtaking women I've ever seen. Still amazingly beautiful at 66. And Gloria Hendry? Yes please. I also agree about the theme/opening titles. Easily a top-5 on both counts. I'm also an unabashed Yaphet Kotto fan. As for Roger Moore, he never looked more authentically Bond than he did here. He looked every bit the man of action. By Moonraker he looked like an insurance salesman trying to find his way back to the conference hall at the Dearborn Marriot.

 

The Man With The Golden Gun

Big fan of The Most Dangerous Game, so those aspects of this movie are obviously right up my alley. Obviously Scaramanga enjoys it, too. I think the pre-title sequence in the funhouse is good fun. It's kinda cool that Nick Nack is actively trying to get Scaramanga killed, apparently because they have some agreement that Nick Nack gets Scaramanga's assets if Scaramanga dies. So it's almost like a Sith apprentice trying to kill the master. But, you know, a little person hiring assassins. Same-same.

The title theme is solid, I like it, it pops. I think the voice matches the series, especially at this point. Some silly lyrics, though. Seems to rip from Goldfinger a bit, too. The credits sequence itself is really uninspired, though. Just throw some naked ladies up there with a few shots of the gun and we're good, I guess.

I like the belly dancer scenes, I think they're classic silly Moore, with him kissing her belly and swallowing her belly-bullet. The cameraman in the mirror is infamous, right? Did they not notice, or did they just not care?

Off to see the bullet maker and I notice we're moving at a brisk pace.

Moore got a lot of terrible dialogue as Bond, but there's some sharp dialogue here when he stops by Maud Adams' hotel room to slap her around a bit and get some info out of her.

Moore: How will I recognize him?
Adams: Tall, slim and dark.
Moore: So's my aunt.

Moore:..fascinating anatomical tidbit, but probably the most useless piece of information I've ever heard, unless of course the Bottoms Up is a strip club, and Scaramanga is performing there.

Moore Bond isn't the total sweetheart he gained a reputation for being.

So we're going to Bangkok? Bwooooooong. Natch. Too bad the real life location of Hai Fat's base was actually/obviously in Hong Kong.

Gotta like the way Bond just kicks that guy's teeth out when he bows. Moore doesn't have the athleticism of Connery or Lazenby, though. He's slow and stiff. He can barely run. His fisticuffs are not as good.

The car leaving Bond behind is one of the dumbest things I've seen in the franchise yet. Like Diamonds Are Forever dumb. There's no reason for it at all other than "hey, let's do a boat chase now".

Would it be asking too much for Scaramanga to do us all a favor and kill JW Pepper? Kill the American abroad, please.

Definitely starting to drag after the muay thai match.

The barrel roll is actually really impressive, but the stupid slide whistle completely ruins it. It's just self-sabotage. Scaramanga has a flying car because they decided to go full stupid with the slide whistle and not look back.

Zaroff must sit and have a meal with his prey.

The winning trick in the end is a good one.

Well, I've always enjoyed this movie. There are a few hiccups, but you can't go wrong with Bond in a duel with the world's greatest assassin. It felt fairly brisk compared to slogs like Thunderball and YOLT. I rank it higher than LALD because it's not as boring and it's not wildly racist. Anyone who says TMWTGG is the worst Bond movie has clearly never seen Diamonds Are Forever.


Rankings


On Her Majesty's Secret Service
FRWL
Goldfinger
Dr. No
TMWTGG
Live and Let Die
Thunderball
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever


Out of nine movies watched, only the top three are classics. Dr. No is a bit too primitive, and the rest are franchise schlock at best.

 

I've got a soft spot for Dr. No.

 

You've got that right

 

CT#, I hope that you do a review of the DS9 episode Our Man Bashir. IMO, that was a better Bond film than most of the movies.

 

The Art of High Impact Kicking (1981) - If you're going to watch a martial arts kicking instruction video, then you watch 10th level black belt Hwang Hang Lee sharing his amazing techniques. Makes watching his cinematic work even more

 

OK, you've enticed me; I'm going to do my own ranking following along with you.

I don't have much to say about LALD & TMWTGG except the standard stuff. J.W. Pepper is one of the most ill-conceived, poorly executed, absolutely annoying characters in the entire franchise. At least Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd got some laughs.

I really like a lot of the stuff in Golden Gun. There's a great scene with Roger Moore, Christopher Lee & the corpse of Maud Adams at . . . is it the circus? It's a great scene; it actually has layers: the story Christopher Lee is telling is grim and worth a scene all by itself, but they have the added tension of Bond trying to get the whatsit from Maud Adams without Lee noticing. Lee is great full stop, of course and I like that Moore isn't the softy he'd become in the next few movies. But, God, is Britt Ekland terrible? Awful performance and, honestly, I think she's one of the stupidest Bond girls in the pantheon. Remember when she decided to search a car trunk by ******* climbing inside of it?

My ranking:

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
From Russia With Love
Goldfinger
Dr. No
The Man With the Golden Gun
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever
Live & Let Die
Thunderball

We're right in lockstep on the top five, but I would rank Diamonds Are Forever above Live & Let Die and Thunderball because, awful as DAF is, it at least isn't boring. It's so awful that parts of it are entertaining and, like I said, when nothing else is going on, I can always just look at Jill St. John. Thunderball in particular is just unremittingly, brutally dull. It's not as brazenly stupid as DAF, but by the time that underwater fight hits like twenty minutes long, you'll be begging for something stupid to happen.

You know what? I'm gonna rank the songs too!

I guess I'll do the credits songs, even though that isn't always the title song or whatever.

James Bond Theme (from Dr. No)
Diamonds Are Forever
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
You Only Live Twice
Live & Let Die
Opening Titles: James Bond is Back/From Russia With Love/James Bond Theme
Goldfinger
The Man With the Golden Gun
Thunderball
Kingston Calypso (from Dr. No)

Yeah, I know, I'm just not as high on Goldfinger as . . . well, anyone else, I reckon. I'm also lukewarm on Live & Let Die. As a comment, On Her Majesty's Secret Service is the title instrumental; From Russia With Love also had an instrumental credit sequence; the vocal version plays under the end credits (and, here's a nice bit of trivia, is one of the only [maybe the very only] Bond theme to actually be heard diagetically in the movie itself; it plays on a radio). And the Kingson Calypso is the calypso version of Three Blind Mice that rounds out the credits to Dr. No after the Bond Theme goes away.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts on Spy Who Loved Me.

 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Much, much better than On Stranger Tides.

 

Ocean's Eleven (2001) Technically, I thought it was a better film than the original, and I did enjoy it, but it lacks the cool factor that the Rat Pack gave to the original.

 

I like those movies. They’re fun caper flicks.

 

The Big Sick-I loved it

 

It's between Scott and Scrooge McDuck as my favorite portrayal of Scrooge

 

Ghost In The Shell (2017)

Thought it was great. Wish I had seen it in theaters. ScarJo was awesome. Good story, cast, music, fx. Will definitely rewatch. So far I prefer it to the original anime after one viewing each.

 

Haven't seen the Scrooge McDuck version but I can recommend the 2009 animated version - it's pretty good. Probably a bit intense for very young viewers though. I also like the Alastair Sim version called Scrooge..

 

Yeah, she's pretty bad. Definitely one of the dumbest. It's kinda weird, because in her intro they make her seem like maybe she's smart. Bond wants a car followed, but it's cool, Goodnight knows it's a hotel car, because she's been there two years and she knows the scene.

lol she didn't climb inside the trunk, but she practically did, and Scaramanga walked up behind her and threw her in. What was really dumb was deciding to follow Nick Nack WHEN SHE HAS THE SECRET TECHNOLOGY BOTH SIDES ARE LOOKING FOR. Why are you going toward the enemy when you're playing capture the flag and you have the flag?

I had an idea that maybe it should have been Moneypenny in her place. I think Goodnight is supposed to be a former secretary who is now in the field, and she definitely wants to hook up with Bond, and a running gag is that she keeps getting put to the side while Bond nails someone else. They're actually about to get down when Maud Adams shows up, so Bond puts Goodnight in the damn closet and I guess she gets to listen while they **** for the next two hours. That must have been mortifying. Well, we could have Moneypenny in the field, hoping to live out her fantasy mission with Bond and finally bone down with him, but she keeps getting frustrated. It might have been fun, I would have loved to see Lois Maxwell get her shot at a larger role. Maybe Moneypenny could have been played smarter (or shockingly competent, like maybe she's a secret badass), or maybe she has a better excuse for messing up, after all she is just a secretary. Fish out of water, and all that. I ultimately rejected the idea because I wouldn't want Moneypenny treated in an undignified manner. Let's not make her another brainless Bond girl for Bond to use.

 

The Spy Who Loved Me

I sorta didn't remember this movie at all before I started it. I get it confused with For Your Eyes Only, which I also remember nothing about (except the song). Once I saw Triple X, some of it started coming back to me.

Immediately I think the movie looks sharper and more modern, it doesn't look early 70s anymore.

Okay, I recognized Agent Triple X, I remembered her right away, but I still really liked the fake out in her intro. Oh, you think Triple X is the guy with the magnificent chest hair? Nope, it's the woman, and she doesn't even have chest hair.

M: Tell him to pull out.

lol okay. I would have killed to see Moneypenny's reaction to that.

Okay I kinda went crazy/pervy off the rails with the title sequence here, so I'm putting it in spoilers to partition it.

Spoiler

The song is ******* great. The lyrics really do belong in the series, they sound like something a Bond girl would sing to Bond; better yet, Moore specifically. It does use "the spy who loved me" in the lyrics, but it sneaks it in almost as an afterthought, it doesn't focus on it or force it in the chorus. Smart move. The art is the best yet, setting a standard for the silhouettes that would be used for decades to come.

Remember when I mentioned the nipples in the YOLT titles? I haven't been mentioning it, but they've really been pushing it in the last few movies, and they just don't really bother to hide it here. Just bare breasted women in the title sequence. Risque for a movie that wants to keep it PG so minors can see it at the theater...

I have to leave a personal confession here. The title sequences have always been very special to me, going back to when I first starting watching the Bond movies at four or five years old. I really got a kick out of them, they were wild and psychedelic to me. The nudity kinda knocked my socks off, too. I was all like, "omg shadows of naked women dancing and writhing on screen". It blew my mind. It was really wild stuff to my young self, like I was watching something very adult, something sordid, something I wasn't supposed to be watching. That idea of a kid taking in his first R rated movie. Because of that, I've always loved the titles, loved the songs. I really love them more than the movies themselves.

So TSWLM has naked women bouncing on trampolines, doing gymnastics and pointing guns, with Carly Simon expressing her sexual gratification about as clearly as one can. It's like it was made to shock five year old me. And it's the perfect sequence for Moore to appear in himself, isn't it? It's just so him. So crude.

Love it. I don't know if Nobody Does It Better is as iconic as Goldfinger or LALD, but it's a perfect raunchy fit, and so is the sequence itself.

Okay, enough about the sequence. I could have done this for every movie, but I was trying to keep them as short as possible early on. I didn't know if anyone else was really into the song and title sequences like I was.

Everyone likes Bond for their own reasons. People like different things about it. Some love Moore's silly antics. Some want Bond to be the cold blooded killer, all the time, always. Well, I love the title sequences and songs. I think this is a really cool thing, that there are so many different perspectives on Bond. We get wildly different rankings because people are looking for different things from their Bond movies. We all have our guilty pleasures. It makes for good discussion, too, I think. Something you can throw back and forth, with no need for hostility. People know there have been stinkers, just what qualifies as a stinker varies between fans. So there's not a lot of obsession with the idea of what's authentic and what isn't. I think the fact that there's so many movies, some of them crappy, and not a lot of focus on continuity makes it harder to get all nerd obsessed over it.

Yet another shark pool, but this time it did feel rather menacing, with the cute assistant getting it and the scientists watching in horror. Stromberg listens to classical music while the shark is tearing her to pieces, as if they are of equal beauty.

Jaws and White Oddjob are introduced.

Beautiful shot of the desert. Really looks good in HD. I've enjoyed seeing these older films in HD for the first time, as I hadn't seen most in ten years or more.

Bond fights White Oddjob, and after White Oddjob gives Bond the info Bond wants, Bond lets him fall off a building. Still not the harmless nice guy.

We get to the pyramids. Okay, this I remember. It's pretty stupid. I don't know why the guy with the info on the plans runs away when he sees Jaws. Triple X could and would protect him. Being in public, surrounded by people could protect him. Why run to a quiet tomb? It's like running into a dark alley. And he just stands there waiting to die. It's dumb. But I guess they're treating Jaws like Dracula, like some old Universal monster that frightens people into stupidity.

Trivia: Triple X and Bond go meet some guy named Kalba who has the microfilm. I thought I had the guy spotted, and I did. It's the butler from The Last Crusade. If you are a Scottish lord, THEN I AM MICKEY MOUSE!

"The microfilm. Give it to me." Just shoot him, you have a license to kill, after all, and he's a seven foot freak with metal jaws. Put him down.

Jaws tearing the van apart like a bonus round of Street Fighter is pretty impressive, but you have to wonder why it took him so long to even try to just put his fist through the window and wring Triple X's neck. Why tear off the roof if you're not going to reach inside? It's just character armor.

So Triple X has come off pretty weak up to this point, but it was all a honey pot, so I guess it's all good.

LOL Bond makes a pass at Triple X and she turns him down, and it turns out he was all ready for some romance, he had champagne and two glasses waiting in his room. This ******* guy.

The intro of the Lotus, which is a sweet looking car. The motorcycle bad guy with the sidecar uses the sidecar as some sort of rocket powered torpedo, and after it fails to kill Bond, he is promptly thrown off a cliff. Hmm. Might have been better to mount a gatling gun on the sidecar or something. Then Jaws picks up the chase in a car, and he too is pretty quickly thrown off a cliff. A helicopter continues the chase, until it too is thrown off a cliff. Just kidding, it's blown up later. There are some really thrilling shots of the Lotus' speed, though. They knew they had a car that actually looks fast, so they made sure to show it off. Bond drives the Lotus off a pier and, surprise, it's also a submarine. Which I always thought was kinda lame. I just find it unbelievable. Apparently they made a real mini-sub to resemble the Lotus, but even it was a "wet sub", the interior would not stay dry. You have to wear scuba gear to not drown. So they actually tried to make the real thing and even with prop concessions it doesn't work the way it does in the movie.

LOL the Lotus is being chased underwater by bad guys...and some disco music starts playing. Hello, 1977. Gotta keep up with those fads.

Triple X tries to hide among the all male crew of the allied submarine when they're captured. Might want to wipe off that lipstick.

Ahh, the same old battle against the brightly colored mooks.

We're kinda falling apart in the tanker here. The anxiety over taking the detonator out of the nuke is nonsense (and a momentum killer), as is the idea that they can just re-program both subs to destroy each other. It's just a nonsense solution. Ha ha we're idiots and we're not even going to check our last second change of target.

The tanker just started exploding for some reason I couldn't figure out.

Bond avoids the drop into the shark pool by spreading his legs across the elevator. I couldn't help but think this was a job for Van Damme's full splits. Come on, Moore, take some ballet classes.

I guess there's something nice about British/US and Russia working together, but idc. This Cold War stuff doesn't do anything for me and never has.

The stand off with Stromberg is just kinda weird. Apparently Atlantis is just completely empty and it's one on one for some reason. He just tries to shoot Bond with some sort of rocket tube hidden under the table, and then Bond just guns him down, shooting him multiple times. There's not much ceremony or drama to it. Jaws shows up after Stromberg dies, instead of Bond having to go through the muscle first to get to Stromberg. For some reason there's a magnet over the shark tank to grab Jaws, but I have no idea why it would be there. But "how does that grab you?" is actually a really good line. Pretty hilarious that Henchman Jaws can beat Shark Jaws in a biting match. Why didn't this end up being a Jaws sequel? Jaws 6: Jaws vs Jaws?

lol and Bond gets caught in the act in the end, starting another running gag in the series.

Tough to rank this. It gets off to a thrilling start but is riddled with standard (ie, bad) Bond contrivances and it kinda just quits at the end, like they were just ready to end it and didn't particularly care how. Truly great title sequence, though.


Rankings

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
FRWL
Goldfinger
Dr. No
TMWTGG
The Spy Who Loved Me
Live and Let Die
Thunderball
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever


I'm pretty open to 5-8 being ranked in any order, though. I could easily put The Spy Who Loved Me or even LALD over TMWTGG, and I'd even be open to Thunderball being ranked higher if you're really into some of the underwater fight sequences, which were pretty brutal and inventive, but really aren't my cup of tea and went on simply way too long.

Diamonds Are Forever is dead last by a mile, though. Seriously, worst Bond movie ever. To give you an idea of how much I hated it, I've been giving each movie a numerical score to compare to in case I begin to forget later on, and I gave DAR a flat zero (I gave YOLT a 2/5). There's no way anything to come will be worse, he says, tempting the fates. Next up is Moonraker.

 

^



Ghosts Galore (1983) Young fake Tao Priests/Magicians (played by Chin Siu-Ho and Chiang Kam) wind up bungling an exorcism attempt which results in the lovely lady ghost pursuing Kam. After this near disaster the boys stumble upon a real Tao sorcerer as Lo Lieh's elder takes them under his lofty enrobed wings. Since Chin and Kam won't remain chaste they cannot ascend past fortune telling and a few protective spells against evil.

Meanwhile, twin Japanese ninja siblings are fleeing their master, (Hwang Jang Lee) the Nippon version of Lo's priest somewhere near by. One evening, Kam does not want to practice the Taoist spells and accidentally bumps into the ninjas pursing the twins, he is slain and the lady ghost claims him. When Chin realizes his friend is missing, he winds up saving the female twin from the Ninja priest's right hand man whom Chin kills. Pissed off, Hwang summons his Kabuki demons to not only claim the rogue young lady ninja, but destroy the upstart who killed his man. This brings Lo Lieh back into the mix, which means the best Shaw Brothers end fights ever ensues.

The end fight is a delightful mix of magic (Lo vs. Hwang) and Wushu/karate/TaeKwanDo. Lo transforms Chin into a Chinese opera guardian, while Hwang deploys his Kabuki demons against Chin. Lo's pupil is successful for a time before the evil Nippons armed with naganatas nearly take the young adepts' head. Chin summons Kam from the void and with Lo's magic, they both tackle the kabuki demons, forcing Hwang to finally fight.

It's rare to see Chinese opera costumes, characters and kung fu used in fight sequences (in which personifications of characters or gods) actually show up, so that makes this movie one of my most favorite late day Shaws. The God of Prosperity losing a bet to what look like Shogun era yakuza is priceless. The defeat of Hwang is silly (though it makes sense given the mystical elements), but seeing Chin and Kam in those intricate, beautifully bulky guardian costumes kicking and twirling is utterly delightful. This needs a proper release: the movie is a neat mix of comedy, kung fu, ninja business and Asian magic. I enjoy it more each time I watch.

I am pretty sure I've said this before, but I wouldn't be surprised if the magical battle moments inspired Lo Pan and Egg Shen's fight in BTILC.

 

​

I'm pretty much the same - so much of my appreciation of a Bond film rests on how good the theme and title sequence is, if they have a strong theme/titles then it puts me in the mood for the rest of the film, and that helps paper over the cracks in the narrative. I think a big part of the Bond movies success is the gun-barrel opening, the pre-titles sequence, and then the unique titles/theme for the episode. It's a bit of marketing genius. No matter how poor the Bond film is, if I catch the start of one on TV I will sit through until the titles end - they're often the best bit of the film.

My mum took me to see The Spy Who Loved Me in the cinema when I was a kid, the first Bond movie I ever saw on the big screen. I loved the Lotus and had the toy (though the spring catch broke within weeks, rendering it permanently in submarine mode), and of course the theme-tune was a big hit at the time and got lots of radio play.

 

Disco music is a fad?

 

Oh, God, I totally forgot about Moore LITERALLY PUTTING HER IN A CLOSET. HE LITERALLY PUTS HER IN A CLOSET while he has sex with another woman. What a pig. Yuck.

I'm a bigger fan of Spy Who Loved Me Than You Are. It's one of only a couple of the Moore films that I actually like as a whole. But I agree with you on most of your points really. I think the step forward in the technical aspects of the filmmaking is really obvious. It just looks so gorgeous. That pyramids at night sequence is really beautiful. The underwater lair looks great too. Great score all around actually. One of the better scores. And I like the twist on the typical Bond-Bond girl dynamic. The couple of times that Triple X actually puts one over on Moore and gets a step ahead of him are great.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
From Russia With Love
Goldfinger
The Spy Who Loved Me
Dr. No
The Man With the Golden Gun
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever
Live & Let Die
Thunderball

Great title sequence, as you say. It's one of the most creative, I think. Having everyone bouncing around is witty and unexpected. And, yes, great song. Lyrically, it's maybe the best; that it can work in a phrase as clunky as "the spy who loved me" without feeling forced is miraculous. Great melody too. It's one of the rare Bond themes that doesn't really fit that well into the Bond theme mold but also really works. It has more of an easy listening ballad feel, but it still really works.

James Bond Theme (from Dr. No)
Diamonds Are Forever
Nobody Does It Better (from The Spy Who Loved Me)
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
You Only Live Twice
Live & Let Die
Opening Titles: James Bond is Back/From Russia With Love/James Bond Theme
Goldfinger
The Man With the Golden Gun
Thunderball
Kingston Calypso (from Dr. No)



One of the few Bond theme covers that is good.

 

I think Roger Moore is very good in that scene where xxx confronts him about the death of her bf , outside of OHMSS its one of the few serious moments from 007 up to that point .

 

I watched Harvey (1950) last night with my Mum.

 

That is a good scene. It's too bad this movie was made during the Moore era though, because it still has to resolve into them having cheesy sex. If this had been made in the Craig era, the movie would have had the nerve to just have a dark ending and end with Bond & Triple X walking away from each other as broken people and it could have been really dark and powerful. But yeah, it's easily one of the most serious moments of the franchise so far and of the entire Moore run in particular, so baby steps.

 

I always wondered if they ever did shoot an alternate ending where they did walk away from each other . Thing is back then the Bond films were kind of like a circus with 'something for everyone' , very commercial, even so its probably the most exhuberant ending with that jaunty song reprise .

.

 

Moonraker

Holy crap the James Bond theme itself is horrible in this, just an obnoxious bleating that hurts the ears.

The plane explosion at the beginning of the movie is actually pretty spectacular.

Putting a turtleneck on Roger Moore was a poor choice. Makes him look more like a retiree than an MI6 agent.

Immediately this is real goofy stuff. Apparently the bad guys went to the trouble of taking Bond up on a private jet, just so they can jump out and leave him to die. Seems like there'd be a simpler way to kill him. And, somehow, Jaws is on board without Bond knowing. Did the flight attendant Bond was making out with somehow shape-shift into Jaws? Was he actually making out with Jaws? We never do see the flight attendant jump from the jet. I think Jaws was the flight attendant, I think he is a changeling.

Jaws' chute doesn't open, so he starts flapping his arms trying to fly, and he crashes into a circus tent. Okay. I can see what I'm in for with this movie.

They try some trippy spacey stuff with the title sequence, but it's really stiff and technically flawed, and a huge step back from TSWLM. The song has a decent opening, but it's pretty forgettable.

Bond and Moneypenny are definitely goofy now, and the sexual tension is completely gone. The tension was what made it fun, but I guess we need Moore's cornballing in every scene now.

"Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him."

Um, why? Are you trying to draw suspicion? Oh right, he's a Bond villain, so we can just take it for granted. Less than twenty minutes into the movie and it's already quite clear that they aren't going to take anything even remotely seriously. This is just the theme park version, a tour through Bond Land.

A centrifuge is always cool. You can't go wrong with spinning someone around until they pass out.

Man, the samurai guard is so laaaaaame. He comes off as a simpleton. Could it be the bowl haircut, the bad moustache and the dopey expression on his face? Or the fact that he attacks Bond WITH A BAMBOO KENDO STICK. This is the dumbest attack ever. AND THIS WAS A PLANNED ATTACK. I just can't believe they actually did this. What's next, an inflatable toy hammer? Bond actually picks up a real sword and its Bond with a real sword vs this idiot villain with a bamboo stick designed to prevent damage.

Shooting the sniper from the tree was pretty cool.

The movie is actually speeding along, never spending too much time in one place.

Did you see the sinking gondolier? Was he a ******* mime or something? Jesus.

I did think Bond showing his pearly whites to Jaws was funny.

Moore is dressed as a cowboy for some reason. Runs into martial artist priests. Yep, that's consistent with what they're going for.

LOL, during the boat chase in the Amazon, Bond drops mines, bad guys run over them, and the explosion is so Bay that it sends stunt dummies flying like fifty feet in the air. It was hilarious.

I give them this. The flower power based eugenics programs is more fun than yet another Cold War nukes/subs plot.

Some hilarious space acting where everyone is just moving in exaggerated slow motion.

"What's that?" Oh, it's a gigantic space station somehow hidden in orbit. Well, you can't see it on radar, and I guess no one on Earth ever looks up.

Gotta love those lasers and the space battle. I enjoyed it as a throwback to classic sci-fi. Check out this poster:

Spoiler

Jaws gets his first, and last, words.

Well, this was just ridiculous, but at least it was fast paced and had "LASERS".

Moore's Bond finally goes full stupid, but at least it's not as boring as Thunderball, as technically inept as YOLT, or as horrifying to gaze upon as DAR.


Rankings

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
FRWL
Goldfinger
Dr. No
TMWTGG
The Spy Who Loved Me
Live and Let Die
Moonraker
Thunderball
You Only Live Twice
Diamonds Are Forever