SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Vader: You don't know the power of the dark side.

Luke: Yes I do *grabs him and throws him over the edge*

 

many bothans died, before they could bring us the information we needed.

 

Qui-Gon Jinn: "We're here to force a settlement."
Gunray: "...Okay fine with me. We're outta here."

 

"the death star...the plans are on this death star"

 

"The Imperial Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away."
"That's impossible. How will the Emperor maintain control without the bureaucracy?"
"Well.... holy $#%&, you're right!"
*calls up Palpatine on holo.*
"My Lord, how will you maintain control without the bureaucracy?"
"Well.... holy $#%&, you're right!"

 

Yoda: hmm ready to take the clone army the Republic is

Lama Su: password given by Sifo Dyas please

 

How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

I wish I could see the humor in this, but sadly there was in fact one such instance back in the day, that did end many theatergoers' viewings of A New Hope, and unfortunately, 'twas all to real.

Here is an article by J. P. Ureus from The Daily News Newspaper titled A New Hope: Lens Flare Scare.



If you wish to read the article in its' entirety, read on.

Late last night, millions of dedicated theatergoers flocked to see a viewing of Sci-Fi space opera, A New Hope. An epic adventure about a farm-boy, a princess, a rogue, his furry companion, a mentor, a comical droid, another comical droid, a dastardly villain with a mask, an emperor, a space station, and a galaxy far, far away. Little did they know, they were about to embark on a different journey altogether...

This taking place not far, far away, but instead right in the comfort of their seats, when during a scene in which the above mentioned farm-boy, Luke Skywalker has his destiny unveiled to him by the aforementioned mentor Ben Kenobi, Luke proceeds to ignite a weapon left to him by his father.

The problem with this scenario is that upon igniting this "Jedi lightsaber", as it was referred to, George Lucas' insertion of lens flares temporarily blinded the audience. Unfortunately, temporarily turned out to be not at all temporary, lasting the duration of the film's remaining hour and a half.

One fan's account of the story is as follows, "I couldn't believe it. One second their were such pretty colors, and the next...they were everywhere. We couldn't see in front of us. It was a nightmare."

When George Lucas was pressed for comment his only reaction to the incident was the following, "Did they like the movie?"

Chilling words indeed. End of Article

 

Qui Gon: "I'm sending you a blood reading. I need a midichlorian count"

Obi-Wan: "Ok we've spoken about this Master. There are no such things as midichlorians. No tiny bug like things in our blood. You've just forgotten to take your medication. Now leave the nice boy alone & come back to the ship, ok?"

 

• "Are you an angel?" "No, and I'm too old for you, kid."
• Dioxis gas is fatal to Jedi
• "Your mother is dead, son. Accept it." "You're probably right, screw it."
• There's no auto-pilot on a Naboo Starfighter
• Darth Maul appears. "We'll handle this." "No, Master Jedi, we'll handle this. Open fire!"
• "I need an analysis on this blood sample I'm sending you." "No can do, boss. The scanner got fried in the attack."
• "Your father's lightsaber. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster- wait, you're holding it backwards...NO! Whoa... oh no."
• Admiral Ozzel was not clumsy or stupid.
• "Hurry! Careful timing we will need." "This is rush hour, you'd better just chill until I get there."
• "I move for a vote of 'no confidence' in Chancellor Valorum's leadership" "Point of order, motion denied."
• The Rebels were on Dantooine
• "All of this excitement has overrun the circuits on my counterpart here. If you don't mind, I'd like to take him down to maintenance." "No need, I'm a maintenance technician- let's take a look here. Wait a minute, what are these schematics? That looks like the Dea- HEY!"
• "Why don't you come with us? You're pretty good in a fight, we could use you." "When do we leave?"

 

Panaka: You can't take Her Royal Highness there! The Hutts are gangsters. If they discover her...

Qui-Gon: You're right. We'll find somewhere else.

 

*Leia's blockade runner flies overhead*

*The star destroyer promptly blows it up*

 

Seventeen thousand... Do I look like an idiot? All of it up front or no deal.

 

Tarkin "We will test the destructive power of this station on the planet Yavin 4"

 

Haha I enjoyed that little post. What that's what I probly whould have done.

 

Borrowed from the meme thread, but it applies to the topic at hand....

 

Anakin "I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given m......wait, where are you going??"
Padme "I'm going back to Coruscant. That's the worst pile of crap I've ever heard!"

 

"All too easy."
*Vader uses the Force to activate the carbon freezing mechanism, Luke Force jumps out of carbon freezing pit, bangs his head against the mechanism on the roof, immediately lands back inside carbon freezing pit*

 

"crap the Wampa took my lightsaber"

 

Obi-Wan: Who's this??
Qui-Gon: A Gungan named Jar Jar Binks. He IS the Chosen One. I must train him.

 

Obi-wan - "That boy is our only hope"
Yoda - "No, Star-Killer was cloned multiple times."

 

"You know what? No more entrance points for the Death Star. No exhausts or hangars or nothing."