JCC Anthropomorphism Confession Thread

I talked to Wocky once

 

I get angry at every inanimate object that refuses to behave as expected. It's hard to narrow it down. My downstairs toilet gets clogged a lot, and I get the impression it also mistakenly believes that my ***** stink.

 

I don't need inanimate objects. I have animals to anthropomorphize. I just accused my cat of putting herself on a pedestal because she was sitting on top of a scratching post.

 

What's the word limit on a JCC post? It's going to be a long enumeration.

 

I can be like Forrest Gump at the bus bench, but without the whimsy.

 

I talk to my car all the time, and did especially when I was living in it. Her name is Butch.

 

I've started talking alone again and it's a terrible sign. I usually talk to an imaginary audience rather than specific objects though.

 

I spend much of my day restacking boxes loaded on a truck in a way that may or may not be neat but either way is not the way it must go into a store. Well.

Label facing the wrong way as I look for it flipping it over and over, "Where the %^&* are you?"

Box stuck or is falling apart with contents trying to spill out, "DO WHAT I WANT LIKE I HAVE TELEKINESIS $%^&*()#$@!*&^^*(!"

Set box down easy like normal with nothing apparently wrong, turn away and then back and the end comes open and everything spills out, "Oh that's right, @#$%^& @#$%^& just fall the %^&* out."

And so on. Not every day is like this but frequent enough to cause real stress.

 

I am with Evan, I talk mostly and constantly to my dog. Good dog.

 

Another one who talks to her car. His name is Gort and he is a sweet ride and always gets me where I need to go. He loves the nerdy stickers I've put on him and was especially please when I got a 'Klaatu Barada Nicto' one. He also thinks I drive better than my son in law who I bought the car from... but don't tell him that.

 

I talk to my machines at my job. They can be quite naughty so I cuss them out a lot.

 

If you had a car as cool as mine, you'd talk to it too. "Go baby go!"

 

Computers?

Welcome
"Welcome? In my own home?"

We are setting things up for you
"What do you mean we? You're just a bloody computer with an internet connection"

 

I'm constantly having conversations with my cat. And not only do I do my part, I respond in what I think of as his voice (and I always make him a vulgar jerk).

You would think I was a nutcase, but my wife does it too.

 

My work laptop and the software on it for sure.

 

Yeah everyone in my family has the "Summer voice" that we use to narrate what my dog is thinking.

 

I talk to my stuff all the time, at least in my head. I have a constant internal monolog going, which means that I can't focus on audio books, podcasts, or even talk radio. I keep cussing at my computer in my head all the time, but rarely say anything out loud. It's only a matter of time before it develops telepathy, though.

 

I do talk to the tv , well I shout a lot at the idiots on it.

 

I know a lot of people who do this with their pets. I’m not talented enough with voices to make 5 different cat voices, though. I just pretend I can hear what they’re saying. Sometimes if other people are present, I answer with partial translations, like Han when he talks to Chewbacca. This makes me sound like a cool space smuggler.

Just kidding. Other people are never present.

 

Been swearing at the TV for about the last half hour as Scotland are leading England by 11-6 in the Six Nations rugby.

 

Is a starfish and sponge on a table being dried out count?