I was looking at an archive of all these old toys and found a listing of all the classic playmates ninja turtles (88-96) and if you didn't know already similar to the 3 3/4 G.I Joe figures they have made up backstories on some of the original characters along with facts. Some of these ninja turtles facts make absolutely no sense. actually most of them don't. But there is onethat takes the cake as one of the most confusing and random things put on the back of a toy box. Ladies and gentlemen i present you, from 1991, Wyrm. Here are his "facts" (notice the quotation marks) "The Wiggly Weirdo Warrior! VITAL TRASHTISTICS: Accessories: Trash Compactor Mallet, Worm Knife, Worm Belt, Porcuepounder and Munchy Mouth Worms Birthplace: City dump Weight: 183 lbs. (with open mouth) Favorite Food: Rotten Meat Favorite Measurement: Inch One day, a mild-mannered trash man slipped and fell headlong into Shredder's garbage bin. The resulting nightmare: Wyrm - a planetarium warped and wiggly creepy crawler. Embarrassed by his slimy stench, this greedy garbage ghoul gathers gunk from the bowels of the sewers. This head honcho of the Unsanitation Department has a voracious appetite for munchy mouth worms, which make his eyes bulge with hunger. Tenderizing rancid rubbish with his trash compactor mallet, Wyrm's got the belly of a beast - and the breath to prove it. Only Muckman's foul enough to be Wyrm's friend. Mostly, though, no one likes to get too close to Wyrm - and that's why he's one solitary slitherer." And that's all i have to say about that.
Speaking of G.I. Joe figures, I always liked keeping track of which Joes came from Michigan, being that's my home state and all. And the Dreadnok character Road Pig: Was given the town of Goblu, Michigan as a birthplace. Which is rather funny, since it's not a real place, it was a place added to a map by a mapmaker who was a University of Michigan alumni and fan (Goblu=Go Blue, get it?).
I loved the Kenner ALIENS action figures back in the day. However...I couldn't freakin stand their Colonial Marines. Real Drake: Mark Rolston Fake Drake: With Zack Morris' cellular phone glued to his head. The worst part is that his M56 smartgun was just a static prop. It didn't do anything. To make the "shooting" sound, you had to twist him at the waist. And it sounded like crap. But...at least it was better than the Apone and Bishop figures. Kenner didn't go crazy with the design trying to make Drake more "cool". "They gave you a metal arm? SERIOUSLY?"
Funny story: Kenner's Aliens toyline was supposed to be a tie-in for a cartoon called Operation:Aliens, but only a pilot was made, and never got to series, because it was considered too violent. The more "toyetic" designs of the Colonial Marines from the toyline as compared to the movie were probably also reflective of the designs of the show, if I were to guess.
