Beyond - Legends Darth Gipper (Quotations Roulette) Humor

Title: Darth Gipper
Author: Kissa
Characters: Palpatine, Dooku, Maul, Obi-wan, Yoda,
Timeframe: Post-DN
Summary: Darth Gipper is observed by previous Sith Lords
Genre: Humor
Notes: This was very, very, very hard.
The Quote "Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper."
KNUTE ROCKNE ALL AMERICAN (1940)

You can find the Quotations Roulette Challenge . . .here.


~~*~~

The flunky stood up, raising one hand in the air. ?Tell ?em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.?

From my vantage point, I suppressed a snort. Was it just me or was the Sith Order straying farther and farther from where it had originally started? In my day, no Sith Lord would have picked such a ridiculous name as ?Darth Gipper?.

We all had cool names like: Vader, Tyrnanus, Maul, Bane, Plagerous, and, of course, my personal favorite, Sideous. Those were names that invoked fear and despair in the people we destroyed and conquered.

Gipper was too close to some sort of child?s toy. Or a zipper, come to think of it. That was hardly frightening in the least bit.

I sighed, covering my eyes with my ghostly red hand. ?This is absurd. Darth Gipper . . .??

Lord Tyranous stepped forward. ?You do realize that this is entirely your fault, don?t you Lord Sideous??

I raised one hand in warning. ?Don?t even go there,? I snarled.

Tyranus shrugged eloquently. ?If you had kept me as your apprentice, Skywalker would have died aboard Grivious?s flagship. And that . . .? he said, gesturing toward the dark clad figure we were watching, ?Wouldn?t have even been born.?

As much as I hated to admit it, he had a point. Certainly selecting Skywalker to be my apprentice hadn?t been one of my brightest moves. Not only did he betray me in the end, but he also had the nerve to cripple himself through sheer stupidity on Mustafar.

I would be dammed before I admitted that to Tyrannus though. ?Hold your tongue,? I snarled.

?He has a point,? Plagerous, my own master, said.

I stomped my foot. ?I am not responsible for Darth Gipper.? For support I turned to Darth Maul. He had been my most loyal apprentice. I smiled evilly at him. ?Isn?t that right??

Darth Maul nodded his head soundlessly, his eyes barely showing any emotion beyond hate.

?Oh come on!? Tyrnanus exploded. ?You think having that retard agree with you ??

?Who are you calling a retard?? I demanded. ?Darth Maul is ??

?Look two points,? Tryranus began. ?Number one, he doesn?t vocalize ever ??

?The ability to speak isn?t a judge of intelligence,? I retorted. ?Look at Darth Gipper. He speaks and is still lame.?

We all looked toward the dark clad figure below us, listening to him detail a few minor commands to his followers.

?Point taken,? Plagerous muttered. ?But there was a second point, was there not??

Tyranus nodded his head. ?Yeah, Darth Maul got chopped in half by a padawan learner ??

?After he had exhausted himself killing Qui-gon Jinn,? I interjected.

?Excuse me, Qui-gon was old,? my master said calmly.

?What?s age got to do with anything?? I shot back.

Darth Maul patted my arm and directed my attention back to Darth Gipper. He had left his secrete chambers and was heading to see his uncle.

We all watched as he came to a stop.

?You know,? I began. ?The name might be worth it provided that he can kill Vader?s brat son.?

We watched with bated breath.

The battle was quick. Darth Gipper drew his crimson lightsaber and lunged forward, stabbing it through Skywalker?s stomach.

We all cheered, watching the Jedi Master?s eyes widen. Then he faded, flickering out of existence.

We all booed. ?Looks like he became One with the Force,? I said as lightly as I could. ?We should all head over to the Light Side and make fun of him for not seeing Darth Gipper?s attack coming.?

My Dark compatriots immed

 

oh man.
can't breathe.
help.

 

Oh...oh....! I think I just hurt something! My boss popped over the cubewall to ask if I was alright!

This is -hilarious-! Awesome job!

 

Wow. Extreme reaction.

Thanks.

 

Oh. My. Goodness.

That was hilarious!!!!!

I can't believe you just wrote that...

Just one comment: you should have made Jaina Gipper instead of Jacen (I'm a big Jaina hater: horrible, I know, yet true, nonetheless. )

Great story, Kissa!

 

LOL!

Jacen as Darth Gipper LOL!

That's inspired my friend. A wonderful challenge entry for the Quotation Roulette - a very entertaining read!


Marvelous job with a difficult quote!

 

Miltary officer: "alright stop that, its silly!" (monty python btw)

great great and graet! that was so funny i loved it.

very very well done Kissa that really made me laugh.

 

Figures Jacen would take a name like Gipper!

Well done, Kissa, this was hilarious!

 

?Yeah, we didn?t appreciate Darth Gipper?s name,? Tyrnaus said. ?So we took steps to have him slain.?



This was very funy! I loved the Siths going over to the light side and confronting the Jedi.

Great job on the challenge

 

Hilarious! This was funny, Kissa!

 

*SPEW* That was hysterical!!!!!!!


Bravo!

 

Rouge_Pilot

Oh. My. Goodness.

That was hilarious!!!!!

I can't believe you just wrote that...

LOl, I had a hard time believing I wrote it too.


Just one comment: you should have made Jaina Gipper instead of Jacen (I'm a big Jaina hater: horrible, I know, yet true, nonetheless. )

For me it?s the opposite. I prefer Jaina to Jacen. But I don?t hate Jacen. He?s an interesting character.

Great story, Kissa!

Thanks.



Jade_Max

LOL!

Jacen as Darth Gipper LOL!

I know. It was cool.


That's inspired my friend. A wonderful challenge entry for the Quotation Roulette - a very entertaining read!

Thanks.


Marvelous job with a difficult quote!

Again: thanks


Imperial-hippy

Miltary officer: "alright stop that, its silly!" (monty python btw) [/i]

I would have never guessed.


great great and graet! that was so funny i loved it.

very very well done Kissa that really made me laugh.

Thanks.



ccp

??

Glad I could help brighten your day.


dm1


Figures Jacen would take a name like Gipper!

Well done, Kissa, this was hilarious!

Jacen isn?t the brightest, is he?

Thanks for reading.


KELIA

This was very funy! I loved the Siths going over to the light side and confronting the Jedi.

Great job on the challenge

Lol. Thanks for reading.


Laine_snowtrekker

Hilarious! This was funny, Kissa!

Thanks.


Jade_Pilot

*SPEW* That was hysterical!!!!!!!


Bravo!

I hope the spew was out of your mouth, not nose.

Thanks for reading.

 

Actually, sometimes I think he overthinks the issues rather than taking any action! By the time he's thought it through, the time for action is long past....

 

Holy Sith Lords! Kissa...
that was so hysterical!!!

I actually read it twice..Once to myself and then when my 9 yr old son heard me laughing, I read it aloud to him...We both were laughing...

Great job....


FL

 

Wow! That quote was absolutely evil! You did a great job incorporating it! And Jacen = Darth Gipper was hilarious!

?Looks like he became One with the Force,? I said as lightly as I could. ?We should all head over to the Light Side and make fun of him for not seeing Darth Gipper?s attack coming.?

 

That was totally delightful. Just what I need for a good laugh. Thanks.

 

HealorLeona

That was totally delightful. Just what I need for a good laugh. Thanks.

Thanks.


jedi_of_ennth

Wow! That quote was absolutely evil! You did a great job incorporating it! And Jacen = Darth Gipper was hilarious!

Yeah, the quote was evil. I starred at it without inspiration for what felt like eternity. Then the idea hit me (I don't know where it came from) and I was set to go.


Flowerlady

Holy Sith Lords! Kissa...
that was so hysterical!!!

ROFL! I love the 'Holy Sith Lords!' That just about sums these guys up.

I actually read it twice..Once to myself and then when my 9 yr old son heard me laughing, I read it aloud to him...We both were laughing...

Spreading laughter is fun. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Great job....

Thanks.


dm1

Actually, sometimes I think he overthinks the issues rather than taking any action! By the time he's thought it through, the time for action is long past....

I never thought of it that way. But it is a very good point.

 

That was hilarious!

 

Just what I needed, and absolutely hilarious!

 

Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.

Glad you enjoyed it.