Describing a lightsaber duel....?

How do you write a lightsaber duel in a fanfiction story? How do you describe it all?
Do you have to describe how they feel ETC... while fighting?

 

Anybody? ?

 

well, their feelings are going to be pretty much intertwined with their physical actions at this point in the story.
a little bit of taunting dialogue is good (see princess bride, star wars)
it's good to know exactly what the characters are going to do while writing.
they should have separate styles, and most importantly it should look good to the reader who envisions it.
be as descriptive as is necessary to illustrate your fight, even include the heat from near misses, the blinding pain of getting stabbed. if the fight goes on a long time i imagine one of the combatants would start getting a bit tired or running out of breath.

here's an example:
a looks around the room nervously, then draws his saber. z steps out from the shadows behind him and lunges, turning on his saber in midair. sabers clash between them in a crackling frenzy. they press against each other's strength, but neither of them give. z suddenly drops down, causing a to push hard against the air and stumble forward, while z slashes at a's legs. a jumps up and flips over z, poking the point of his blue saber at z's back. z rolls away and hops to his feet, and they stand regarding each other silently for a moment.
"does that tactic usually work for you?" a asks.
z furrows his brow. "what are you talking about?"
"that whole sneaking up from the shadows thing."
z's eyes narrow into a glare.
a shrugs. z lunges.

you get the idea

 

The Princess Bride, while being one of my favorite movies, was a bit unrealistic in the fight scene. But then again, that was part of the whole joke actually. In the book they didn't really talk at all. The guys who made the movie did have them talking because they would have needed a narrator if not just to describe what was going through the minds of the two fighters.

In reality most fights last only seconds, usually resolved within the first three moves which really doesn't leave time for speeches. Star Wars has been very good about not putting a lot of dialogue in the fights. As you'll recall, Darth Maul and Obi-Wan didn't have much to say to each other. Also if you'll recall that last fight they had after Qui-Gon was killed lasted about 40 seconds.

It would be tedious for the writer and the reader to have a blow-by-blow account of the matter. Just stick to the major points of the confrontation and let the reader's imagination fill in the blanks. I did this for a very brief fight at the beginning of my fanfic (*shameless plug, link in signature) and I think I pulled it off okay. When I write action sequences I like to stick to short sentences and make paragraphs more often. Makes the reader read faster and gives a sense of urgency. Hope this helps some.

 

Perhaps this scene of mine would help. Most of it involved a lightsaber duel.

 

I'm having this problem right now, trying to write a lightsaber duel. The problem's compounded by the fact that I don't know any fighting terminology beyond the stuff I've learned through movies, tv shows and the occasional book. Plus, I have difficulty writing action scenes anyway.

So far, I have no dialogue. I think that's going to change near the end, but even then there will be little.

Do I describe how they feel? No. Unless you count pain as a feeling. Feelings in fight, in my opinion, seldom vary all that much. Mostly it'll only be a mixture of fear and anger. Well, in Star Wars, I suppose the Jedi might be a little more calm than that. Touching upon their feelings will work in some circumstances, but you shouldn't focus on the feelings.

How much of the fight do I describe? Well, as I said earlier, I'm both bad at writing action scenes and I don't know much about swordsmenship. So my descriptions stay at the bare minimum, mostly who's in the fight, who has the upper hand, where they are, major points that happen, etc. Other than that, I just try to bluff my way into making other people believe I have the slightest idea what I'm writing about.

 

You shouldnt write every second of the fight, and their feelings towards their opponents, but it should highlight the important parts.
I thought the scene in Vector Prime with Anakin and Jacen dueling was good, because it told alot of the fight, but also left alot of the un-needed stuff out.

 

Thank you all for your help.You all have great and different ideas for writing a lightsaber duel I will be able to use all your ideas.
But is there any sort of advice you have for me cause this is my first fanfiction im writing.If
you want to know what my fanfics about then PM me and I will be glad to give you little ideas of what its about.But its still in the development stage, but no fear I have an idea of what its about its VERY creative IMO
Thanx again every one

 

Writing is best when you write what you know. Force knows Romance and Humor are beyond me, but I love actions scenes. After years of combat training of one sort or another, it's quite understandable.

Keeping that in mind, write what you know of fights. Keep it simple if all you know is simple. If not, sub-contract. Have someone you know/trust help you write the scene. Don't get caught up in fancy terminology since most of your readers wouldn't know it either and would most likely become confused or bored.

 

Try writing a scene out and giving it to a friend to read and them ask them to tell you what they think happened. If they come back with what you had in mind then you did something write.

There really isn't a formula to this you can use. You just have to practise it. Some writers are very good but lousy at writing action. Plan out the battle in your head or even get out some sticks or something and act it out with a friend, whatever helps you visulize it. Once you have some clear ideas about it think about how you could put it to words. Read over what you write, read it outloud, see if it makes senese, have someone else read it.

Just takes some time, that's all.

 

While my advice is that don't write what I like to call the "Extremity Scenes"--that is don't write completely emotional duels (have you ever realized how dull some of the novalizations of the SW movies are?), but then don't over-emphasize technicality either (has a knack of getting readers boared really fast). I think that good duel scenes really have that balance between emotions and technical details.

Aunecah_Skywalker

 

One thing I do with a lot of my contributions to a round robin, is detail, detail, detail. Not too much, but enough. I like to have a mention, not necessarily a whole sentence, of as many of the 5 senses as possible.

Lightsabre duels can be fun to write, but you have to be able to describe the scene in your head for the readers. A drop of sweat rolling down one character's spine, the sharp smell of ozone following a blaster shot, the oppressive humidity of the jungle combined with the loamy scent of the heavy vegetation.

Don't forget the emotions of the combatants or any spectators, especially if one is a love interest.

 

Also, do not be excessively repetitive. You can only say "He blocked the blade" so many times before you bore your readers to death. Or at least bore them into hitting the "back" button.

 

Remember, too, that lightsaber battles, if they are the most important part of the story, have to have structure and levels of importance. The Phantom Menace is a good example: Jedi use Lightsabers for defense, save Queen. Qui-gon uses lightsaber against Maul. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan fight Maul in a grueling battle.

You see there's a build up, from the most simplistic of what a Jedi does with his weapon to what a Jedi does against a lightsaber wielding foe; in the latter, a Jedi/Sith fight hadn't occurred in centuries. A lot of what you plan in a fight has to be related to the story, and the story should reflect some uniqueness about the situation.

 

this is great b/c i'm writing about a lightsabre duel now, and i want to make it interesting i'm not very good at writing action.

 

Thanks all - I've got an sabre scene coming up in my fic and believe me I can use all the help I can get.

 

I agree with just about everyone else. Don't go into dialogue or thought unless it is right before the conflict breaks out. I have a character thinking while he is fighting, but he is so skilled he doesn't need to pay attention too much to what he's doing-- most fighters won't be able to do this realistically.

Describe the flashes and sounds of lightsabers clashing, what the fighters look like with the glow of the lightsabers cast over them, and how their movement can be described as they fight (fluid, jerking, sloppy, powerful, etc.) If you get any more detailed than these points the fight tends to slow down in the minds of readers, and consequently becomes boring.

 

How do you describe the sound of someone igniting a lightsaber?

 

????

 

That's personal preference, but it's a kinda snap-hiss sound, IMO.

-~Aanix~-

 

Hmmm...


First, I would go to the movie novelizations and check those out, because they probably have a lot of simple terminology.

Second, SW Insider magazine has an article on the different forms of lightsaber dueling in this month's issue.

If you wanted real complexity and a feel for swordfighting, go take a drop-in fencing or kendo class. I started taking fencing this year and I think I understand what goes through combantant's heads much better now.

 

a/n: i'm not used to writing action. romance & angst is more of my area, but could someone crique this for me?

~~

Anakin huffed as he tried to call up the doctor's program. He didn't want to talk to Jacen, Tahiri or anyone else in his family and he figured talking to a holographic doctor was better than talking to no one.

The EMH turned to him and smiled, "Ah Master Anakin, it's good to see you. How may I help you?"

"I need to talk to someone...I guess, you'll do. At least with you, I know I can't be hurt," he mused, frowning again, "I can't stand the pain anymore, doc."

"Is this physical pain? Are you hurt?" he asked, believing his hurt was external.

Anakin nodded, "No, I didn't mean that. It's ---," he pointed to himself, "I'm hurting in here. It's a hidden pain caused by the people I loved very much. But it's a deep pain...I almost hurt one of the people I loved. I didn't want to but something inside of me wanted to."

The doctor smiled, "I trust your friend is all right, now? She's not hurt anymore?"

"I don't know...I hope she's all right. She was just trying to apologize for her actions and I lost it. She didn't deserve to be hurt like that," he cried as his brother and sister appeared. Anakin scowled, ignoring the doctor, "What's this? You're both going to tell me I need help?"

Jacen carefully stepped forward, "Anakin, you do need help...Look, we can work this out."

"No," he retorted, glancing at Jaina, "You had your chance to tell me everything from the beginning. But instead all you did was lie; one lie after another. Everything you told me was a lie!"

Jacen shook his head, slowly walking towards him again, "Anakin, I haven't lied to you."

Anakin glanced at his sister again, "There's no need for you to be here, Jaina," Anakin started, "Be with Jag, enjoy your time together."

Jaina nodded, "I will but I'm worried about you, Ani. And I'm not leaving here until this is settled."

Anakin scowled, looking down, "Then I'm sorry." Jaina was about to question him again but she stumbled backwards, and was literally picked up and thrown against the wall. She moaned, glancing once at Jacen and Anakin before passing out.

Jacen circled around him, "You didn't need to do that, Anakin. Jaina wasn't a threat. She was just trying to help you."

He laughed, "If she was so concerned for me, she would have come to me earlier and told me what was going on between you and Tahiri! I knew she knew, everyone knows about the two of you and the funny thing is, no one seems to care...except for me."

Jacen glanced at his own lightsaber; he didn't want to use it on his own brother but if Anakin attacked, he would be forced to unless he managed to calm him down. "Anakin, I know you're hurt but believe me, it was never my intention to hurt you.?

?Never was your intention? What exactly was your intention, brother??

?Anakin, this is ridiculous!? Jacen shouted, looking at Jaina and then at his little brother.

?Enough!? Anakin barked, glancing at the doctor, ?Off.? Before the doctor could say something, he vanished, leaving the brothers? alone and to their anger.

Jacen gasped, stepping back as Anakin?s hand hovered over his lightsaber. He squinted his eyes, staring at his little brother. Anakin growled, staring back at his brother, lightly touching his lightsaber. Jacen?s eyes suddenly widened as Anakin grabbed his lightsaber, holding its blue blade close to his head. He swiftly removed his lightsaber and ignited it, circling around Anakin, ?I don?t wish to fight you, Anakin.?

He laughed, ?It?ll be easier for me to kill you, brother,?

?Kill me?? Jacen echoed, rolling to the left as Anakin struck his blade. Jacen huffed, successfully blocking him. ?Anakin, this really isn?t necessary,? he cried, breaking away and pushing Anakin across the room, using the Force.

Ani shook his head, glanced at his brother and jumped to his feet. He held out his hand, calling his fallen lightsaber and attacked again. Jacen knew his moves so he could anticipate what he was going