Does Anyone Here Know A Man Named Bill Brasky?

I was just listening to the Brasky skits from SNL. Funny stuff, random, but funny. Does anyone else remember/share an appreciation for them?

 

Those are my favorite SNL skits EVER. I love how at the end they always show Bill Brasky from behind as some towering giant.

To Bill Brasky!

 

I can't say they're my favs, but I really like the Bill Brasky sketches, too.

"He fashions graven images from frozen seawater!" ^_^

 

"Bill Brasky is a sonofabitch! TO BILL BRASKY!!!!"

 

TO BILL BRASKY!!!!!!!

 

I once flew to Tiawana to have sex with a 10 year old boy ....

 

I love those Bill Brasky sketches!

"Bill Brasky is the father to every kid in this town!"

"He sweats Gatorade."

"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."

"We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we could tell him there was a stripper in it."

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives....except Fleagle."

 

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky entered me in the Kentucky Derby?"

 

Bill Brasky!!!


- Smoov

 

"He showers in grain alcohol!"

 

"Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"

"One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"

"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Brasky talk in his sleep."

"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

"He sheds his skin once a year."

"He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago. I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!"

"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

"Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8 months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I prefer gin.'"

"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."

"He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!"

"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"

The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."

---

[i]*raises drink*[/i]

TO BILL BRASKY!!!!!

 

Here's some more Brasky qoutes:

"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."

"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."

"His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."

"Bill Brasky was a two-ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"

"He once inhaled a seagull."

It was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."

"He once ate the Bible while water-skiing."

"Bill Brasky was a ten-foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us all in the face! And we loved him for it!"

"Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."

"Brasky still believes in Santa Claus,and he wants to put him in porno films."

 

To Bill Brasky!!!!



-sj loves kevin spacey

 

Funny stuff!

 

"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."

"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive?
He did it by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it would've happened sometime."

"If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' 'Pet Sounds.'

"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."

"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."

"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."

"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."