Dumb Song Lyrics

What are some dumb song lyrics you know?

Not entire songs mind you!

Just certain lyrics that stand out and make you go

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Michael Franks, whom I love, in one particular song called "Coming to Life" has a lyric that goes as follows:

You in love's forrest
hybernating
counting all the wounds
in your heart's history
like the rings of a tree

WHA

Because it's such a wacky & bizarre lyric I think about it often, as a kind of goofy thing.

Btw I personally think KISS are responsible for the some of the worst lyrics ever.

 

WTH are jingle bells anyway?

 

You mean like this:

You pulled the trigger of myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....

LOVE GUN

One I don't particularly like is from the Beatles Revolution 9:

Number nine
Number nine
Number nine
Number nine
Number nine

Kinda monotonous.

 

I have to post a whole song because it's just totally "huh?" It's actually a good song, though, by the Decemberists who seem to have a thing for off-the-wall lyrics.

"My Mother Was A Chinese Trapeze Artist"

My mother was a Chinese trapeze artist
In pre-war Paris
Smuggling bombs for the underground.
And she met my father
At a fete in Aix-en-Provence.
He was disguised as a Russian cadet
in the employ of the Axis.
And there in the half-light
Of the provincial midnight
To a lone concertina
They drank in cantinas
And toasted to Edith Piaf
And the fall of the Reich.

My sister was born in a hovel in Burgundy
And left for the cattle
But later was found by a communist
Who'd deserted his ranks
To follow his dream
To start up a punk rock band in South Carolina.
I get letters sometimes.
They bought a plantation
She weeds the tobacco
He offends the nation
And they write, "Don't be a stranger, y'hear."
"Sincerely, your sister."

So my parents had me
To the disgust of the prostitutes
On a bed in a brothel.
Surprisingly raised with tender care
'Til the money got tight
And they bet me away
To a blind brigadier in a game
Of high stakes canasta.
But he made me a sailor
On his brigadier ship fleet.
I know every yardarm
From main mast to jib sheet.
But sometimes I long to be landlocked
And to work in a bakery.

 

While Neil Finn is my favourite songwriter ever, there is one line in particular in one of Split Enz' biggest hits I Got You that is an absolute clunker.

Look at you, you're a pageant
You're everything that I've imagined
Soemthing's wrong. I feel uneasy
You show me
Tell me you're not teasing



Also: Steve Miller, what is a Pompidus of Love.

 

"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl.

Damn, what the hell was he on?

 

What about that song at the end of Spiderman 2? Has anyone ever actually listened to that thing?

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

The heck? What's the point of an analogy if your going to compare to something that's even more obscure and non-sensical than what you started with? When has redemption ever had any physical properties at all? How is it able to spin? Let alone doing so "slowly." And what would this even describe to us?

What does to the first line even say? "Dangling on a string?" That doesn't mean anything. Something can be either firmly or loosely attached via a string. Does he mean to imply "hanging by a thread" as if hope was almost gone. Or does he mean like a mobile over a child's cradle, where it would be very much present, and reassuring? What good is making a point if two polar opposite meanings are simultaneously possible? Is there any better demonstration of the failures of human language. Or is it just massive failure of the linguist that composed this atrocity?


EDIT:

Also, probably the biggest LOL of all comes from Mike Jones in "Flossin":

"That's why the girls keep calling. . .my phone."

Could you make your failure to rhyme any more awkward?

 

Um, probably a little bit of everything.

 

I wanna have your babies
For serious, like crazy

 

La la-la la la,
Warm it up.
Lala-lalala,
The boys are waiting

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And their like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

 

I think "Fingertips" by They Might Be Giants wins in the "makes no sense" category, but it's still a cool song. Or . . . songs. Oh, I don't know.

Everything is catching
Yes, everything is catching on fire
(everything is catching on fire)
Everything is catching on fire
(everything is catching on fire)

Fingertips
Fingertips
Fingertips

I hear the wind blow
I hear the wind blow
It seems to say, "Hello, hello,
I'm the one who loves you so."

Hey now everybody now
Hey now everybody
Hey now everybody now

Who's that standing out my window?

I found a new friend
Underneath my pillow

Come on (come on) and wreck my car
Come on (come on) and wreck my car
Come on (come on) and wreck my car
Come on (come on) and wreck my car

Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?

Please pass the milk, please
Please pass the milk, please
Please pass the milk, please

Leave me alone, leave me alone

Who's knocking on the wall?

All alone all alone
All by myself

What's that blue thing doing here?

Something grabbed a hold of my hand
I didn't know what had my hand
But that's when all my troubles began

I don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I just don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I don't understand the things you say
I can't understand a single word
I don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I just don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I cannot understand you (I don't understand you)
I don't understand you (I don't understand you)

I heard a sound, I turned around
I turned around to find the thing
That made the sound

Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper

The day that love came to play

I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack

Fingertips
Fingertips

I walk along darkened corridors
And I walk along darkened corridors
I walk along darkened corridors
And I walk along darkened corridors

 

That isn't supposed to be a song. What you're supposed to do, is put the CD on random, and those little snippets appear before the regular songs.

 

Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind
Dead kings, many things I can't define
Occasions, persuasions clutter your mind
Incense and peppermints, the color of time.

Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win, but nothing to lose.

Incense and peppermints, meaningless nouns
Turn on, turn in, turn your eyes around.

Look at yourself, look at yourself, yeah, yeah
Look at yourself, look at yourself, yeah, yeah, yeah!

To divide this cockeyed world in two
Throw your pride to one side, it's the least you can do.
Beatniks and politics, nothing is new
A yardstick for lunatics, one point of view

Who care what games we choose?
Little to win, but nothin' to lose.

Good sense, innocence, cripplin' mankind
Dead kings, many things I can't define.
Occasion, persuassions clutter your mind
Incense and peppermints, the color of time.

Who cares what games we choose?
Little to win, but nothin' to lose.

 

Mmmbop, Mmmbop, Mmmbop

x1000

 

This honor has to go to the song "It's Cool, We can Still be Friends" by Bright Eyes


"So I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk
Yeah, I'm pouring myself some whiskey, I'm going to get really **** drunk
I'm pouring some whiskey right now, I'm going to get so, so drunk
That I pass out, forget your face, by the time I wake up."


It's even worse when you hear it actually sung.

 

Anything by the Crash Test Dummies.

 

How bout that Pork commercial?

I want Pork, pork pork
Thats what I want
At the end of my fork
Is pork pork pork...

 

Possibly the worst song ever, Body Language by Queen

Give me, body - give me - body - body -
give me your body
Don't talk, Baby don't talk
Body language
Give me your body
Just give me your body
Give me your body
Don't talk
Body language
You got red lips
Snakes in your eyes
Long legs, great thighs
You've got the cutest ass I've ever seen
Knock me down for a six anytime
Look at me - I gotta case of body language
Body language - body language - yeah
Sexy body, sexy, sexy body
I want yoyr body
Baby you're hot
Body language

 

a post by Wilderness_Comedian that is more than a line long

 

^Wow. A post from you critiquing something!

 

Did I miss My Humps in here?

 

"Loser" by Beck. I swear they must have been high when they wrote this...


In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
butane in my veins so i'm out to cut the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs
spray paint the vegetables
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
kill the headlights and put it in neutral
stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
someone keeps sayin' I'm insane to complain about
a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
don't believe everything that you breathe
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
so shave your face with some mace in the dark
savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park
(yo cut it)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(double-barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor i'm a loser baby,so why don't you kill me?
Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
'cuz one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
one's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
with the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
the daytime crap with the folksinger slop
he hung himself with a guitar string
slap the turkey neck and it's hangin' on a pigeon wing
you can't write if you can't relate
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
and my time is a piece of wax
fallin' on a termite who's chokin' on the splinters
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheeze whiz)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(drive-by body pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
soooooooyy....
(I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change I can feel it)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(I can't believe you)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
[repeat]
(Sprechen sie Deutches, baby)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(Know what I'm sayin'?)

 

I did it right!

Possibly the only one in the whole thread to have done so.

 

Bush, Everything Zen

There must be something we can eat
Maybe find another lover
Should I fly Los Angeles
Find my ******* brother

Minnie Mouse has grown up a cow
Dave's on sale again
We kissy kiss in the rear view
We're so bored you're to blame

I don't belive that Elvis is dead

There's no sex in your violence