Saga E3 Alternative ending (Please give lots of feedback!)

Disclaimer: This is a fan
fiction,If I were George Lucas,
I would be alot better writer.
But sadly,
I'm not. So instead I just do
my best with the charactors he
created and hope it turns out
not too disappointing.





This is a bunny that's been hopping around in my head non bloody
stop since seeing Episode 3.I doubt theirs many people left here
that haven't seen the movie, but just in case I am inclined to
tell you that their will be possible spoilers in upcoming posts.
Please if you read this I would appreciate lots of feedback since
I'm new to Star Wars fanfic. I also need a beta reader desperately
as I don't have anyone yet to do this for me. If you have any
creative criticism or input I would greatly appreciate it.
Lady-P
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And now, on to the story!

I stare at the blanket, where she had lain. A crumled mass,
now empty and devoid of any meaning. Much like my heart was
since I walked in the door and found the necklace I gave her,
the japor snippet, resting on her pillow, atop the note that
contained her final words to me. I picked it up in my shaking
hand. The words, I had read 3 times and still could not fathom
that they were real. That she could really mean them. I felt
waves of fear and anguish rush over me as I read the words one
last time.

"You've changed, you're not the man I fell in love with.
The Dark Side is laying claim to your soul, stealing
you from me day by day. I can no longer watch it
happen. I once loved you, but I can no longer live a lie.
The man I fell in love with has been dead since the day
you pledged your allegiance to Palpatine, the tormenter
of my people, and turned your back on the Jedi who were
only trying to do what you should have willingly done in order
to fullfill your promises.


We should never have been selfish, Anakin. That was the first
step toward the darkness and despair that now claims us, and
our galaxy. Whether you choose to believe it or not, the Empire
has made a mockery of our planet. And I must go and see if I
can restore order to some degree. I once asked you to help me
do this, long ago when discussing such matters did not open
the way for bitter arguments between us. Perhaps if you would
have tried to understand my devotion to my people, we could
have at least gotten along.

But what is done has been done, now I will do what I must
and give myself back to my people where I belong. It is my
destiny, as I still believe being a Jedi was yours even if
you choose to deny it. I hope that you will come to your
senses and realize the consequences of your actions, but
I can no longer wait for that to happen. t's been hard enough
to keep our marriage a secret, but I no longer know the man
I wake up next to every morning. You know as well as I that
our child deserves better. I will not allow you to turn our
baby over to a cruel and twisted Master. To transform him
into a heartless monster who kills people on a whim.I will
protect my child, our child, at all cost. Your new Master
will not claim him. This I vow!
Padme Amidala Skywalker"


The paper crumpled in my fist as I clutched her letter to me, sobs wracking my body.
As I thought about everything we had gone through in the eleven years since I first layed
eyes on her I began to get angry. She could leave me so easilly after how much I had
loved and cared for her all these years? Had she really ever loved me at all? I raged.
I wanted to destroy something, as my heart had been destroyed. I quickly looked around,
scanning the room for something to throw. Finding nothing, I sat heavily upon the bed and
sighed. But my body had other ideas, as I exhaled, the sobs started fresh and came in uncontrollable waves shaking me hard as I gave myself over to the agony and rage
I felt growing inside my soul.

 

Comments? I have alot more to go but I'd like some feedback before I post it!

 

Upsie daisy!

 

up again

 

This is great keep updating! Oh and don't worry about lack of feedback, I don't...anymore

 

How SAD.......

 

This has good potential Lady-Padme!

Keep up the good work and finish it! You could ask a Beta reader to read through it for you and check spelling, punctuation and things of that sort, just until you find your feet. Don't give up!

 

Moons_of_Iego_angel7: Thank you very much! As for the feedback, I just like knowing people are reading it and perhaps getting a few suggestions once in awhile.


Arcalian: Just wait, it's going to get alot sadder before long.

The_Jesstar:
I definitely plan on finishing this, and the other fic I have up at the moment.
Their sort of battling between them for my time right now as I have alot of
ideas for both. But this one will be finished
--------------------------------------------------------
I will be going to visit with my sister on Saturday, who also writes fanfic,
to go over this and get some feedback from her as well,
I should get enough done while I'm there for at least a post.
So hopefully I'll have the next chapter posted here by Monday at the latest!